#doom cloud

MJ: "Everyone alright? No like, divorce or some shit happenin'? Kinda too old for that shit, huh?" Easier to talk about the humans than the elephants between them.

Pete: "They're not quite okay yet but they're getting there. Dad was staying with Stella for a long while. He's moved back now and they've started going to counselling. Baby steps."

MJ: "Mm." Okay, well, he thought it would be easier. He couldn't think of anything worthwhile to say.

He scratched the back of his neck, silent.

Pete: That was okay. Pete had plenty of nervous babble left in him to fill the silence.

"They still don't know. About the bear thing."

MJ: "It would probably make em go crazy. My family ain't heard from me since I turned."

Pete: "Maybe, but maybe not. I think Luke might suspect."

MJ: "Suspect me or suspect ya?"

Pete: "Me. Been seeing him read a lot of supernatural books lately."

MJ: "Well, I mean, he hangs out with Cal."

Pete: "Cal's super careful not to let anything slip. I'm guessing Luke saw something or met someone that piqued his curiosity."

MJ: "Peter, Peter. The man is sleepin' with a vampire n'has a green thumb he can't excuse away," he smirked.

Pete: He chuckled softly. "True. On the other hand, Luke spent fifteen minutes looking for sunglasses that were on his head the other day."

MJ: "Yeah. See, it'll be fine," he laughed. Again, the smile faded. He looked away, to the woods, then back to his clothes.

"So...I...m'gonna..."

Pete: "O-oh. Right. Okay..." For a few moments it had felt like things were normal between them. Like they were just having a conversation in the woods. Now...

Now he didn't want MJ to go.

MJ: "I...uh...should-" he pointed to his strewn clothes. "Really didn't think ya were up. I just..." He didn't want to leave, but that voice in the back of his head told him he should.

Pete: "I'm a night owl," he said softly. "Up at weird hours." You don't have to leave, he added silently.

MJ: "Were ya always?"

Pete: "Pretty much. More now that I'm a bear once a month."

MJ: "I mean, I guess with the bar, but...I - I slept durin' the day so I dunno - I didn't-"

Why were words so difficult?

Pete: "The bar feels so easy now. It definitely eased the transition. Luckily it's only once a month." While MJ struggled with his words, Pete marveled at how he was managing his. His damn heart felt like it was getting ready to leap out of his chest.

MJ: "So," he scratched his chin, "tomorrow? Ya turn tomorrow? What d'ya do? Where d'ya go?"

Pete: "Tomorrow night," Pete confirmed with a nod. "Callum's been helping me. I pack a backpack with clothes and some supplies and we hike out into the woods, I turn, and he follows me around while I...be a bear."

MJ: "Ya always gonna need him? What 'bout Fletcher?" Almost said bitterly. Almost. He also refused to look at him. He was headed in the direction of his clothes. No swim tonight.

Pete: "Ever since I found out I've had someone with me. In France it was my mentor and now it's Callum." Fletcher had nothing to do with it.

MJ: "So why not him? Why ain't ya with him n'why ain't he the one givin' ya flowers? How come he ain't watchin' over ya?"

Well, the bottle was shaken enough.

Pete: "Because Callum is my best friend and being a bear is not something I wanted or particularly like or feel comfortable with. I need to feel safe when I turn. That's why Callum. He was the only choice."

MJ: "Ha don't feel safe with him? He came t'your rescue."

Pete: "Turning the first time was easily the most traumatic thing I've ever experienced. I still have nightmares. There's a kind of safe you can only trust certain people with. It's like asking someone to perform open heart surgery on you."

MJ: "I get it. I fell n'broke my fuckin' neck." On came the shirt, the jacket draped over his forearm.

"Have fun with Cal t'morrow."

Pete: "I'll have fun when it's over and I can sleep for twelve hours. Easily the most profound sleep I've ever had." Was he stalling? Probably. He didn't want MJ to go.

MJ: "Kay." Was this it? Would this be the end? He glanced over his shoulder. He could feel her there, resting her chin on his shoulder somehow.

Pete: "...…..Want to come along, MJ?" The end? No. This wouldn't be the end.

MJ: "I can't. I mean I shouldn't. I mean why? We're not - We're not a thing. Why would ya want me there, Pete?"

Pete: "I know we're not," Pete said quietly. "I just...I miss you. I want to share this with you." For the same reason he'd planted the roses, for the same reason he'd gotten MJ all those figurines for Christmas.

Because he loved him.

"If it makes you nervous, you don't have to be there for the actual turning part. And Callum will be there."

MJ: "How come ya miss me? How can ya say shit like that t'me after what ya did?"

He wanted answers he could believe. The reason why he gave him roses was because he wanted, in some way, for them to be normal again.

Pete: "Because you weren't just my boyfriend," Pete said so softly it was almost a whisper. This conversation warranted care. MJ warranted care, and Pete hadn't shown him nearly enough. "We were friends too. I can't miss my boyfriend without missing my friend and vice versa. I have no right, I know. But that doesn't stop me from missing you, or thinking about you, or loving you. I meant what I said in the note that was with the glass figurines. There has never been a day when I didn't love you, MJ Calloway."

MJ: "Don't say that." It would make his eyes pink. It was embarrassing.

"Ya can't say there ain't been a day when - when ya slept with someone else. 'Cause I left a note in the freezer; 'cause I had t'go n'leave ya alone. 'Cause we didn't actually fuck."

Pete: Making MJ cry was the last thing he wanted, but MJ deserved honesty. It was probably fucked up and it wouldn't make sense but....

"There hasn't been. You leaving hurt so much because I love you so much. But I can't blame you now because I get it now. I left. I had this albatross of a discovery hanging on me and the discovery kept on coming and I just needed to get out. To figure it out. I hate that you left but I can't be angry when I did the same thing. I can't be mad at the note in the freezer when I said goodbye to you with a spell that let me talk in your dreams. The fucking is the least of it. I wanted to be close to you and my brain latched on to that because being pissed is a lot easier than being lonely and sad. We had sex, we slept together, we were intimate and that meant something and I never, ever should've made you feel like it didn't. And I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

MJ: He wasn't upset anymore? The note was no longer offensive? The lack of intercourse was no longer a sin? He was forgiven of his trespasses? How could that be - how, he wondered, could he forgive himself?

The vampire leaned against the nearest tree and took a seat. Slowly, the black cloud returned, shadowing his figure so as to mask his crying. He was angry with him. He loved him. He loved Rohan. What the fuck...

Pete: It wasn't that the note didn't hurt--or that the entire situation didn't hurt--there had simply come a point when Pete had just had to make a choice; he could let the anger eat him alive until there was nothing left or he could try to understand. And interestingly enough, discovering he wasn't human was what helped him understand. It was so different learning about the supernatural and actually being and experiencing it in your life.

Holding on to his anger was killing him, and while he could admit now that letting go of it had been good for him, it had left sadness and pain and regret in its wake.

All things he felt keenly as MJ sank to the ground and wept. What could he do but sink along with him. He didn't cry; he'd finally run out of tears. But he had no doubt MJ would feel the avalanche of emotion pouring out of him and hanging in the air like so much mist after a storm.

MJ: "I dunno what to do." Words said after several minutes of tears. Tears which Victoria had allowed. They pleased her.

"I met someone. A while back...before I - before Cal kicked me out. It wasn't anything then. It is now. He's a witch. Old man, but, he ain't. He's all trapped in youth n'whathaveya. He's...He helps against...her. Some days she takes over. Part of a whole night n'I don't remember shit. He drives her out. I love him, Pete. I love ya, too. I dunno what m'supposed t'do. How m'I any better? I ain't got no right."

Pete: Pete had remained silent, watching the moon and the stars and wondering and wishing he was a Seer so he could find the answers they both needed in them.

He looked over when MJ finally spoke again, immediately staring at the ground when his vampire mentioned his new love interest. He remembered the wicked witch mentioning it that night after the incident at the sheriff's house, and though a part of him wished the new lover was an asshole so he could have an excuse to hate him, it was nice knowing MJ had someone who cared about him and was treating him well.

"I'm glad he helps." And he was. Anything that helped against Victoria was something to be glad about. "I love you, too, sweetheart. Maybe neither of us has the right but....doesn't change how we feel. Maybe...we can figure it out. Find a new normal."

MJ: "But...a new normal means learnin' t'trust ya again. How can ya ask me that? I still don't get - Fletcher Goodman? Of all the pe - Why?"

Pete: He took a deep breath and nodded. "It does, and I realize that it's a lot to ask after what I've done and how I treated you. But I wouldn't be asking or even considering asking if I wasn't completely prepared to put in the effort and the care you deserve. If I wasn't willing to work and try to be worthy of you."

Pete heaved a long sigh. He didn't even remotely want to talk about it, but if MJ really wanted to know, to understand, was it wrong to deny him that?

"Are you asking because you really, really want to know, or are you just...thinking out loud?"

MJ: He remained in silence until the question was asked of him. The cloud slowly dissipated. Pete would finally see his ex, knees hugged to his chest. A stance he'd never taken before.

"Both, I guess. It can't just be ya doin' shit for me. I ain't worthy of ya. I left. I left like shit. I ate a woman's soul. I gave ya reason - however shitty - to -" he sighed. This was giving him a headache. This or that cunt. He couldn't recognize the difference anymore.

"Was it even cheatin'? I left n'I came back but I remember; I put in the letter that ya could quit me."

Pete: It broke Pete's heart to see MJ like that. So vulnerable and fragile. He had to fight the urge to hug him.

"Hey, no. Don't do that." Pete gathered his courage, moved a little closer. "Eating Victoria's soul was not your choice. You were forced, practically upon pain of death. You didn't want to. You didn't plan to. You're not the villain of that story, sugar. Don't think for one second that you are, no matter what your shitty days tell you, no matter what she tells you." He was absolutely done letting Victoria turn MJ into her plaything. "You're not the villain.

"And what I did? That's on me. I should've talked to you, I should've found a way to--" He sighed. "I took the coward's way. I went behind your back and I hurt you."

MJ: His words didn't seem to match their past. Their past arguments. This felt unfair. He was the villain. He was worthy of every moment separated from this man. He didn't deserve him, nor did he deserve Rohan Dalca.

But...

"What did ya mean? Before, 'bout my dreams? When did ya do that?"

Pete: Pete's brow furrowed. "What are you....oh right, the spell. I left in February, so then. I had Callum's cousin Bronwyn help me. Did it work? I was afraid it wouldn't."

MJ: "Bronwyn?" The name wasn't registering.

Pete: He nodded. "Yep. It's this spell where I talk into a bowl of water--or as she said, ideally a mountain spring--and you're able to hear me, like in a dream."

MJ: "Have I met Bronwyn? Why did - I thought that was her."

Pete: "I'm not sure. She's 5'4, long black hair, super light green eyes, wears heels like they're sneakers."

MJ: "N'that wasn't Victoria?"

Pete: His brow furrowed again. "Victoria? No, that--" Annnnd it clicked, and immediately broke his heart. "Oh my god. Oh, baby. Did you think was Victoria all this time?"

MJ: "Ya - Duh! I knew ya as a human! Why would ya be able t'do that?! Why would ya say any of that t'me?! Of course it was her!"

Pete: "I know magical people! I thought about calling but I didn't know if you'd get the call or pick up so I asked Bron to help me! I said what I felt and fuck her for making you think any different! I can prove it was me!"

MJ: "Ya ain't gotta prove it. You're sayin' it! Ya shoulda just called me! We both should just called each other! No, wait. I did call ya!"

Pete: "I know. I know we should've. I know you called and I hung up on you." Pete closed his eyes, let his head fall into his hands, rested his elbows on his knees.

"I can't believe it didn't occur to me that that bitch would use my goodbye to you to her advantage. I should've known."

MJ: Dried eyes suddenly crinkled. He laughed, "We're fuckin' assholes."

Pete: Miraculously enough, that managed to get a smile out of Pete. Maybe even a chuckle of his own. "Looks that way. God." He rubbed his face. "So many goddamn wasted moments. C'est une tragédie grecque."

MJ: Wait, he knew some of that thanks to Xavier. It was a welcome distraction.

"It's a tragedy something or other?"

Pete: There was another smile. Look at you, he thought.

"A Greek tragedy. I kinda...learned French."

MJ: "France is okay. I liked Spain more."

Pete: "Spain is beautiful. Spent a week in Granada staring at all the architecture and eating all the ham and spending too much money on saffron."

MJ: "I was mostly in Barcelona. Madrid, too. S'like a different world."

Pete: "It really, really is. Hard to believe it actually exists sometimes. How long were you there?"

MJ: "Just a night at a time. I kinda made friends with a demon."

Pete: "Xavier, right?"

MJ: "Oh, right. That phone call."

Pete: He nodded. "He sounds like James Bond."

MJ: "Should hear it slip when he's pissed or tired."

Pete: "Slip? He's not really English?"

MJ: "No he is. He's just not that kinda English. He's like cockney or somethin'."

Pete: "Ah, okay. Trained himself into the posh James Bond accent then."

MJ: "Ain't James Bond Scottish?"

Pete: "Sean Connery is. By far the best Bond."

MJ: "Ain't we supposed t'be yellin' at each other?"

Pete: "I don't know, maybe."

MJ: "She's itchin' me right now."

Pete: "She can fuck off. And if she won't, I know what'll make her."

MJ: "What are ya gonna do t'me?"

Pete: "Nothing. Just gonna take you to the rose garden."

MJ: "How's that gonna shut her up?"

Pete: "You didn't think they were just roses, did you? They were specially engineered." Pete got to his feet, held out a hand to help MJ do the same. If he didn't want to take it, that was okay.

MJ: As much as he wanted to, he couldn't. He would get to his feet independently.

"I thought it was some kinda sign. Never seen roses like that 'fore."

Pete: He withdrew his hand. No harm done.

"That's because there are no roses like that. Not anywhere in the world. They're just on that riverbank, and they're all yours. I had Callum make it so the blue matched the blue of the glass ones you've given me."

MJ: It was romantic. He had questions. So many. The most heavy weighted his chest.

"Didn't...ya break them?" he asked quietly. "Or throw em out?"

Pete: Pete shook his head. "No, MJ. I didn't break them or throw them away." He couldn't if he tried. The lamp, the first one, had been broken in a rage and he regretted it.

"They're on my bedside table. And Pinky Pete is on my bed."

MJ: "...Pinky Pete? Really? He's so old." He smiled, and away it went again. "I tried t'warn ya then. Tried t'scare ya off..."

Pete: Pete affected a very dramatically offended expression. "Old? Pinky Pete isn't old! He's distinguished. Like George Clooney."

MJ had tried to warn him. And Victoria had tried to ruin things then too. "Not that scare-able."

MJ: "I noticed. Ya've always been that way. Like when I pestered ya at the bar night in and night out. The snake didn't scare ya. I actually," he began to walk, "dunno what does."

Pete: He fell into step beside his vampire. "Lots of little, abstract things. A few big things. When my dad had his accident, I just..." He sighed. "I don't think I've ever been that terrified."

MJ: He almost called him babe. "You're gonna lose him someday. You're gonna out live em. Maybe all of em, since you're...a - probably an official term for it. Werebear, I guess."

Pete: "It never occurred to me that I could until I saw him laying in that hospital bed. He looked so small and fragile. The thought of losing him or my mom or Luke or Stella or Ryan or Graham or Callum or you or anyone petrifies me. I don't know how Gaetan's been able to do it for so many years."

MJ: "That's a long ass list. People - kid - a lot of people out live their parents, aunts, so on. Ya gotta figure out how you're gonna deal with it."

Pete: "It's even longer. I'm still learning how to deal with the shit that comes with being alive. I get why June boxes now, and why Callum gardens. Thinking about things is exhausting."

MJ: The vampire laughed. "'Thinkin' is hard!'"

Pete: "It is hard. That's why stupid people always seem so energetic."

MJ: "There's bein' oblivious n'then there is the tragic genius. Maybe you're a tragic genius."

Pete: He chuckled dryly. "Yeah, maybe. I'm a tragic something, that's for sure."

MJ: "Compare your life t'mine. Not tryin' t'get a boo hoo outta ya. Just...it ain't shit."

Pete: "We're both tragic somethings then, but you're right. And until we have to worry about tragedy and death, there are magic MJ-blue roses."

MJ: "Don't - It sounds - That's too - That's too much." That sentence was too broken. He laughed again, with embarrassment.

Pete: "The MJ blue thing?" Pete couldn't help the smile. Not because he managed to fluster his vampire, but because that was the last thing he expected to fluster MJ.

"That's what I've been calling it. When I asked Callum to make them, I said I wanted them to be blue. He asked me what kind of blue, and I showed him a picture of one of my glass roses and he said, 'ah, MJ blue'. It stuck."

MJ: "So Cal made it up?" He frowned. "He don't want me here." His voice took on an uncharacteristic panic.

"He can't know m'here. He'll - I just don't want him t'know, kay?"

Pete: "He did, and he and I had a long conversation. He won't bother you when you come to town, you're not banned or blackballed. He'll leave you alone."

Even so, Pete nodded. "I won't tell him if you don't want me to, but he won't hurt you, okay? You're safe."

MJ: "Ya say that, but what I did - what she made me do." He looked away and shook his head.

"If he don't kill me, Ro will."

Pete: "He wants to kill her, not you. And I'll wager the same thing goes for this Ro."

MJ: "No one can kill her."

Pete: "I know someone who can pull it off. Someone far stronger than she could ever hope to be."

MJ: "If y'all try t'rip her out you're gonna take me with her."

Pete: "Ripping damages and destroys." And that was not an option. "I'm thinking more along the lines of careful and precise surgical removal."

MJ: "Peter," not a name he was often called, "it's not your problem. We're not -" he sighed. "We're not... t'gether. She's my problem."

Pete: "She tried to collect and then murder my best friend, she infected you, and she tried to kill and rape me. It's very much my problem, and I'm going to drag her to hell myself if I have to."

MJ: "I don't want your help!"

Pete: "Would you accept someone else's?"

MJ: "I barely let Ro help..."

Pete: "If he found a way to surgically remove that she-demon would you at least consider it?"

MJ: "It's supposed t'be my trial."

Pete: "Even Hercules had a trainer."

MJ: "I've only seen the Disney film."

Pete: "Well it wasn't actually a sassy faun in real life but the trainer did exist. No one does it alone. Not Hercules, not Spartacus, not anybody."

MJ: "Maybe I don't want help," he said quietly. Now he had to have this conversation with Peter, as he had with Xavier, with Rohan, with the damn nanny.

Pete: And Pete's heart broke once more.

"Maybe I don't want to watch you die," he said just as softly.

MJ: "Shut up," he sighed and rubbed his face.

Pete: He would, but his words still hung in the air. He would not rest until the she-demon was dead as dust.

At least they'd arrived at the rose garden. That was a good distraction, right?

MJ: MJ stared at the wild blue garden with fresh eyes. Without a doubt it was beautiful. He should have known better.

"Guess we got that in common, me n'Fletch."

Pete: "You have what in common?" Pete asked, picking one of the roses. Callum really had done a wonderful job. They were the exact blue of the glass roses and they smelled earthy and sweet.

MJ: "Givin' ya flowers."

He reached for the one in Pete's hand.

"He'd smack ya for this, right?"

Pete: It was freely given. "Probably a lot of things he would smack me for, but we don't talk."

MJ: "Not Fletch. Callum. N'me too for pluckin'. Shoulda said his name, I guess. Talkin' 'bout two people at once. Just...lettin' my head go."

Pete: "Cal wouldn't have done this for me if he planned to smack either of us. Besides, didn't I tell you these are magic roses? Look."

He pointed where he'd just plucked a rose; a new one was already growing in its place.

MJ: "Why would ya do this...for me...?"

Pete: Pete smiled softly at MJ. His beautiful, beloved MJ.

"Do you really have to ask?"

MJ: "Yes, Pete. Ya can say all day ya made a mistake but was it?"

Pete: "Love," he said simply.

MJ: "I love ya, but ya fucked another man n'didn't bother t'tell me."

Pete: He bowed his head. "I know. I know I did, and I am so sorry I lied to you and hurt you."

MJ: "Look me in the eyes."

Pete: Pete lifted his head.

MJ: 'Rohan, please help me,' he thought. 'I might betray you.'

"Say it again."

Pete/Rohan: While hundreds of miles away a witch stirred in his sleep, Pete stepped closer to his vampire.

"That I love you? That I'm immeasurably sorry for lying to you and hurting you? I do, and I am."

MJ: "Can ya prove it?"

Pete: "My love or my remorse?"

MJ: "Both."

Pete: "Would....allowing you to feel what I feel serve as enough proof?"

MJ: "What?"

Pete: "Using a spell, I can allow you to feel what I feel. It's intense and you might be dizzy after but..."

MJ: "Whatever happened t'just talkin' 'bout it? Spell this, spell that. Now you're a fuckin' werebear. Jesus, Pete."

Pete: "I know, it's a lot. Believe me. I spent six months learning how to use a gladiator sword and testing my new powers. If you prefer talking, we'll talk. But in order to do that, there's something else I have to show you."

MJ: "More magic, Pete? It's a lot. It's a lot a lot. I fuckin' left 'cause of my "a lot" n'I didn't fuck someone else!"

Pete: "Yeah, more magic. Turns out being a bear--or just a fera in general--comes with a little bit of it and Gaetan wanted me to know how to use it instead of just resenting it. And how just how much 'a lot' it is, it was an avalanche of nothing but, and I handled it wrong. Completely wrong. I hurt you. I betrayed your trust, betrayed our relationship. That isn't on you. That's on me."

MJ: "How m'I ever supposed t'trust ya again?! Every text message could be that motherfucker! Maybe someone else! Then I dunno if I'm paranoid n'an asshole or if it's ya actually doin' somethin'! I still have a woman inside me! A fuckin' old, old vampire in my head n'I'm tryin' t'not kiss ya n'just live with this n'then I wanna yell! M'yellin'! Again!"

Pete: Pete remained silent as MJ vented. He couldn't argue any of it because it was true; MJ had no reason to trust him after what happened, and Pete didn't blame him. All he had, and all he could really hang on to, was hope.

As MJ too fell silent, Pete pulled his phone from his pocket and offered it. "My password is 'Midas'. I keep it locked because I don't want someone at work or my family to see anything supernatural. His number isn't in there. All the French names in there are the people I stayed with while I was in France. Gaetan is my mentor. Sylvain is his grandson and my friend. I mention the name 'Clarke' a few times. Clarke is my previous incarnation that I recently found out about."

MJ: MJ stared at the offered phone with momentary confusion. Was this really the length Peter was willing to go just to prove himself? But...why, when he was well aware of Rohan?

'Ro, please...'

"Reincarnation is a thing? Seriously?" Because it was the one thing to cling to.

Pete/Rohan: This was absolutely the length Pete was willing to go to. He'd give MJ his email password too if that was what helped reassure him.

Rohan stirred again, this time to full wakefulness. 'MJ?' was his first thought, and his first word. Part of him had expected to find his vampire laying beside him.

Meanwhile, back in the forest Pete was nodding. "Yep. It's seriously a thing. Callum found his and now I found mine."

MJ: 'Ro?'

MJ suddenly straightened, surprised to hear anything other than his own voice in his head. 'Ro, help me. I'm with Peter Graham and I think - I think I might - I don't know. She's loud.'

"Why ain't ya got Fletcher in here?" The phone was tossed back. He knew he was jumping subjects, but it was the only way to keep Victoria quiet.

Pete/Rohan: Rohan was getting out of bed and reaching for his clothes before MJ finished speaking.

'I'll be right there. I just need you to take a deep breath for me. Where are you exactly?'

"Because we don't speak and have no reason to. We're no longer in each other's lives."

MJ: "How is that," he took a deep breath, "possible? He like, ran across the street t'ya. I don't even know what he is. He just stinks like no human I've ever smelled."

'Edenton. Sorry. In the woods by the river.'

Pete/Rohan: "You'd be surprised how little you can interact with someone whose business is across the road from yours. I barely even see him around. He has his life and I have mine."

Rohan nodded to himself as he pulled his shirt on. 'I'll be right there, puiule. Just breathe.’

MJ: It was emotional, the lengths Pete tried for him. The reminder that this was only because of his lapse in judgement. Victoria was absolutely ravenous.

MJ had leaned his weight against the nearest tree, hand covering his eyes.

"Didn't ya say it - it was - ya loved him for forever?"

Pete/Rohan: "It was a childhood/teenagehood love that wasn't made to survive adulthood. That couldn't survive it." Perhaps it could have, in some other life, some other life, where Luke and MJ didn't exist. But not in this one. They both had to live their lives, even if it was apart.

Rohan dressed and readied to teleport in record time. What concerned him wasn't Pete Graham--for now--it was her. The situation was sure to be emotional and intense enough without the hag adding in her own brand of volatility.

He appeared at the river and followed it, listening above the rush of water for MJ.

MJ: "I don't...think...ya love me. Pete. I think I'm second best. Otherwise...otherwise...ya wouldn't."

The vampire inclined his head and took another breath.

"Even Vicky here agrees." Or maybe she planted the seed.

Pete/Rohan: "I do believe it's time for Vicky to fall silent now."

Not Pete's voice. This one was older, calmer, without the mild lilt of a lifetime in the South.

Rohan had found them.

MJ: Without revealing his eyes he gasped. Instant relief washed over him.

"Ro...she's so loud."

Pete: "Step into the rose garden." Pete's voice again.

MJ: "How's that gonna help?"

Rohan: "Do as he says, puiule. There's a little path there, see? Just for you."

MJ: He was afraid to open his eyes. Breath after breath before he forced them open.

"I feel like I'm goin' crazy, n'ya'll want me t'prance in a garden."

Rohan: "That's no ordinary garden." Rohan again, driving home what Pete had been saying. "Just step inside it." He reached for MJ's hand. If he couldn't bring himself to walk in alone, Rohan would walk with him.

MJ: 'It's just weeds. It's just weeds and grass and dirt and nothing. It's not real because you're not real. You're fading into obscurity. Soon you'll be gone, but they don't want you to know that.'

"Shut up." He squeezed Rohan's hand. "Not - I don't mean..."

Rohan: "I know, puiule," he whispered, leading his vampire down the little path Peter had created amongst the vibrant blue roses.

And just as both men had been telling MJ, this was no ordinary rose garden. The moment MJ set foot on the path, the roses began to glow with a familiar, soothing green light. Just weeds, Victoria? Oh, no. Far from it.

MJ: His eyes had reddened from stress. His skin, though usually pale, seemed sickly. Her voice exhausted him.

He turned, looking around with deep even breaths. He was doing his best.

"What...is this?"

Pete: With each deep breath, the light seemed to wrap around MJ and embrace him, inviting his mind to calm and his body to relax. And if he looked closely, he might be able to see a hint of gold woven in amongst the green.

"It's a serenity garden," Pete said quietly. "It helps you calm down, pushes away the demons in your head. My mentor planted one for me outside my cottage. Some nights when nightmares woke me up, I'd take my sleeping bag out there. Only way I could fall back asleep."

MJ: The garden which he had plucked for days seemed more like a church. He felt he should be quiet, respect what he had broken.

With his eyes to the ground, he situated himself center of the blue roses. Here, maybe, her voice would fade with the rustling breeze.

Lashes fell and another breath was taken.

"It's all in my head, right? Like aromatherapy?"

Pete: Had MJ voiced this thought, Pete would've told him that he'd broken nothing. These roses were for him; to pick, to admire, to smell, and to take comfort from.

Pete shook his head. "Nope. The light literally calms you. It's Druid magic."

MJ: "How d'ya know 'bout druid stuff?" He looked to Rohan.

Rohan: "Anyone who presumes to know about magic must learn about Druid magic," said Rohan. It was perfectly true. "It gives off a very specific aura."

MJ: "What aura do I give off?"

Rohan: "You have a magical aura on your own."

MJ: "Probably stinks."

Rohan: "It's actually very patriotic."

MJ: "What?"

Rohan: "It shifts between red, white, and blue."

MJ: "What does that mean?" The conversation proved a distraction.

Rohan: "Depends who you ask and which school of thought they buy into. The colors and elements that make up an aura are varied and everyone gives them different meanings."

MJ: "That don't tell me much."

Rohan: "Based on what I know, I'm pretty confident that the red is a testament to your vampirism." He also had a very decent guess about the blue, but he wouldn't bring it up when they were literally surrounded by a small sea of that very color.

MJ: "Is this what we're doin' right now? Just standin' here talkin' 'bout colors?"

Rohan: Rohan smiled. "It would appear so. How do you feel?"

MJ: "Confused, and my shoulders hurt. Y'all ain't gonna hurt each other or anything, right?"

Pete/Rohan: Rohan and Pete both shook their heads. "No one's hurting anyone," said Pete.

MJ: This felt too harmonious. Someone would explode. Someone was going to threaten something. Wait, that would mean he was worth getting jealous over. The sun would sooner die a slow and quiet death.

"I was here...givin' him flowers I found."

Pete/Rohan: "These roses, I imagine?" MJ was absolutely worth getting jealous over, but that wasn't what he needed right now. He needed calm, and Rohan had an endless well of it.

Pete gave a confirming nod.

MJ: This calm, despite these roses, felt out of place. Yell something. Sneer at each other. Laugh and tell me it's over. Punish me. Do something!

"That's it?"

Pete: "What do you mean?" Pete asked. He wasn't exactly thrilled at having MJ's new love interest here, but his presence was helping MJ. That mattered more than anything right now. "Are the roses working? I wasn't sure they would. Nightmares are a lot different from a she-demon."

MJ: "No, I don't hear her, but now m'just - I hear myself n'that's loud, too."

Pete: "Imagine....the light is a glass of water. Every sip you take, you get a little less thirsty. Let it in, and everything will feel quieter."

MJ: "Please, stop. You're too much sometimes. You're both just too much."

Pete: Pete fell silent again, turning his attention to the stars.

MJ: The tension wasn't going away with silence. Still, he kept it. He felt the petals between his fingers and bit his tongue.

Rohan: Rohan followed suit, remaining silent but offering MJ comfort in his own way. Present company prevented anything too amorous, but that didn't mean he couldn't squeeze his vampire's hand.

MJ: "Look, this has t'be addressed."

Pete: Pete turned back to MJ. "Which part?"

MJ: "The part where you're both here pretendin' t'be okay with ya both bein' here."

Rohan: "Us being okay or not isn't the pressing issue," Rohan said evenly. "That's a conversation for another time."

MJ: "'Cause m'all fragile n'possessed by an elder?"

Rohan: "You're not fragile." This said more firmly. "This just isn't the time or place for it, and when we do find the time and place, she won't be allowed to interfere."

MJ: "Well, she ain't. Magic roses are lettin' my mind out on spring break. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve either of ya."

Pete: "That's not true." This time from Pete. "Magic roses are the least I can do."

MJ: "Stop!" The vampire began to pace. No. It was time to leave. This was overwhelming him. He would rather brave her voice and step out of the garden.

Pete: "No no no, MJ, stop!" Goddamn it. Just once--once!--he wanted something to go smoothly. "What do you want me to say? That I'm not thrilled he's here? I'm not." He was trying so hard not to raise his voice. "I just--I want you to be okay. I want her to shut up and leave you alone. No matter what she's told you or what you've told yourself, you don't deserve her torment. You deserve peace of mind. That's why I planted the roses. To try and make up, even a little bit, for the fucked up things I've done."

MJ: "Nothin' she's said has ever been a lie! Did she like 'bout Rohan? No. Ya know it's true. Y'all are hangin' on t'somethin' that don't exist anymore. I don't exist anymore. M'just fragments."

Pete: "I refuse to believe that. I'm not looking at fragments, I'm looking at you. You still exist. The moment I stop believing that, just fucking stab me in the head."

MJ: "Ya thought I'd hurt ya that night. Even Fletcher thought it."

Pete: "I thought you wanted to."

MJ: "Ya hurt me. I never wanted t'see ya again. She kept tellin' me to, n'then she went quiet. N'then..."

Pete: "I know, baby," he whispered. And then....?

MJ: And then she tried to rape him.

He looks away.

Rohan: 'Don't let her win,' Rohan whispered, not out loud, but mentally. Privately.

MJ: 'Too many voices in my head,' he thought.

Rohan: Fair point.

"Would you like to go home, MJ?" Rohan asked softly.

MJ: "...Yeah. I - I wanna go home."

Pete/Rohan: Rohan nodded and turned to Peter Graham. "By your leave, Mr. Graham."

His leave? That was the last fucking thing he wanted to give. But that was what MJ wanted, and Pete didn't want to force his presence on his vampire.

"Safe journey then."

MJ: Forcing himself to stay in place was on par with listening to Pete's sweet encouragement. But soon Rohan would take his hand and they would be gone. Xavier's home wasn't his home. He didn't have a home. He had a broken down RV on the grounds. These men were delusional to love him.

"Thanks," he managed to say.

Pete/Rohan: Rohan would take him his hand and take them home, but not yet. Something about Mr. Graham's expression gave him pause.

"MJ," Pete began softly. "I...." What could he say? Don't give up? Don't make this the last time we see each other? I love you?

Maybe he could say them all with a look.

MJ: "Don't look at me like that. What d'ya want me t'do?"

Pete: He heaved a long sigh. "I don't know. Come back to your garden if you need to. Please."

MJ: "...Yeah." Their reunions would always be this difficult. Nothing would change. Time did not seem to be a factor.

He waited for Rohan to take them away, wondering what happened to the man he used to be.

Pete/Rohan: Pete believed--or was trying to believe--the opposite. He had so much hope. How could they each have all this emotion if they felt nothing for each other? He loved MJ with all his heart and soul; not trying to get him back was not an option.

Even when some man was currently leading his love away from his rose garden and into the woods.

Rohan didn't plan to zap them back just yet. They needed a walk first.

MJ: Long steps into the woods and away from his distractions was welcome. The negative space between the trees didn't feel nearly enough. He felt blanketed by shadow and though it was safe, that's all it was. He felt no freedom within.

"I'm sorry."

Rohan: "What are you sorry for, puiule?" He used the endearment deliberately. It was his own subtle way of saying that despite what transpired, his feelings hadn't changed.

MJ: The endearment was noticed. It was painful. "None of this would have happened if I just kept to myself."

Rohan: "You don't know that. You kept to yourself when you came to the manor and yet here we are."

MJ: "I gave him roses because they reminded me of him. Ya said ya love me n'I still did that. Here I am, Ro. This is me. M'no better than him."

Rohan: "And here I am, MJ. Today changes nothing of how I feel."

MJ: "It should! Ya should hate me!"

Rohan: "I don't hate you."

MJ: "I wish ya would."

Rohan: "Why?"

MJ: "At least that makes sense. The fuck ya doin' with someone like me? You're a witch in a young man's body livin' in a mansion with a demon that can give ya the world. You're fawnin' over some dead guy that got kicked outta college n'gives roses t'his ex that cheated on him. Oh. Oh not t'mention, uh, I gotta fuckin' bitch in my head."

Rohan: "You always come back to Xavier, MJ. He's my friend and nothing more. He's never been anything more. I have no romantic interest in him whatsoever." Though his tone was reassuring, Rohan doubted that would convince his vampire. His opinion of himself was too heartbreakingly low.

"You're not just 'some dead guy'. I don't care about college, I never went myself. I can tolerate the roses because I know you and Graham have unfinished business. As for that thing inside you? She can't and won't stop me from caring for you, and I cannot wait for the day I get her out of you so I can watch her burn like she deserves."

MJ: "Ya don't make any sense!" he flailed. "You're too perfect! S'like I dreamt ya up or somethin'!" He never would have spoken to this man in such manner months ago. Wear and tear had taken its toll.

"I can't do this anymore. With either of ya. I can't."

Rohan: "You didn't dream me up, I'm real!" Rohan took MJ's hands and held them to his chest so his vampire could feel him breathe, so he could feel his heartbeat, squeezed his hands hard to try to bring him back to earth.

"I'm real. Let me decide what it is I want. Don't pull away from me, MJ. Hurt me, yell at me, curse at me, but don't pull away. Don't do that to either of us, please."

MJ: Either of us? Would Rohan really say that? He didn't know anymore.

"Why would ya say that?"

Rohan: "Because you mean something you amazing, thick-headed man! You're loved!"

MJ: "How can ya just keep sayin' that?!"

Rohan: "How can I just say that? How can I just say that?" Maybe he shouldn't say it at all. Maybe he should just show him.

Maybe Rohan would just take this beautiful infuriating man in his arms and hold him tight and pour all of his being and all his emotion into a kiss he'd remember for the rest of his life.

MJ: A kiss which would make the man in his arms shiver, and gently bite his lip in protest. A kiss which would cause a pain in his chest. A kiss which formed ugly pink tears in his eyes.

"M'sorry."

Rohan: Rohan closed his eyes, holding MJ that much tighter. "I love you so much but for the love of all the gods in all the worlds in all the multiple universes, stop apologizing to me, puiule."

MJ: "Make me," he sniffled.

Rohan: "Draga mea," he said softly, gently kissing all those tears away. "Hold on tight, okay?" He was taking them home. He tried to make the process as gentle as possible, kissing MJ for the duration.

MJ: His arms clung firmly around his protective witch. He had actually come to his rescue. He felt like a goddamn princess and Rohan made no effort to mask his intent. It was romantic. He loved it; he loved him.

"What time is it?" he asked when they arrived.

Rohan: "It's late. Or early, depending on how you look at it." Rohan had transported them directly into his bedroom, and as soon as he was sure they'd gathered their wits about them, he lifted MJ and carried him to bed. Even if they didn't sleep, he needed to hold him for a while. Comfort them both.

MJ: The vampire gasped in his arms. "I'm not a - oh whatever." He leaned into the witch and closed his eyes. He wouldn't be letting go.

Rohan/Abel: Rohan was prepared to fight MJ on the matter of holding him and soothing him, but he was glad he didn't have to. It was more time he could spend loving on his vampire, kissing him, murmuring loving nonsense to distract him.

And distraction was the name of the game for the little dog currently running to his bedroom. He could feel the onslaught of emotion they'd brought with them and he couldn't sit idly by and do nothing.

MJ: The dog was a welcome distraction from the love he knew he would receive. MJ stared at the little creature with a frown. Goddammit, he loved dogs. He loved everything on four legs.

"Hey, asshat."

Abel: Abel came around to MJ's side and propped himself up on the bed. He whined softly, asking for permission to jump up.

MJ: "Yeah, sure. C'mon." He reached for the back of the little dog's neck to help him climb the thick comforter.

Abel: He eased himself up on the bed, giving MJ's hand a grateful lick before settling near his head, whining again.

MJ: "What's the matter? Hungry or som-" Duh. He looked the little creature in the eyes and scratched behind his ear.

"Tell me your thoughts."

Abel: Abel just whined and nuzzled into MJ's hand.

Are you okay? You're sad. I don't want you to be sad.

MJ: "Just a downer day, lil man. S'all."

Abel: This was more than a downer day. A downer day didn't run this deep.

He began licking MJ's forehead.

MJ: "Fuck, no," he laughed. "Ah, stahp."

Abel: His tail began to wag. He got a laugh!

MJ: "Go bother someone else, ya mutt."

Abel: Nope. He was going to keep licking your head and nuzzling into you in his loving doggy way.

MJ: Well, maybe some scritches behind his ear. He looked around for his witch.

Rohan: Rohan had rested his chin on MJ's shoulder, watching the exchange with a soft smile on his face.

MJ: "Ya called him in here or somethin'?"

Rohan: He shook his head. "I didn't. He came in on his own."

MJ: "Why is everything in a demon's house nice?"

Rohan: "It's a very strange, very unique demon's house, puiule."

MJ: "Yeah, yeah. Guess you'll say I'm the exception."

Rohan: "You aren't. A little dog is bathing your head like a cat and you're not shooing him away."

MJ: "I like animals. S'all."

Rohan: "And that particular very sweet animal is very attuned to people. Do you remember the afternoon Xavier dragged us to New York for lunch because he wanted proper pizza?"

MJ: "Yeah?"

Rohan: "He brought Abel along too, if you recall. And about halfway through the meal, little Abel there started snarling."

MJ: "But...why?"

Rohan: "The woman at the table next to us was abusing her son."

MJ: "I...I don't - I'm too tired t'understand what you're drivin' at, Ro."

Rohan: "What I'm driving at is that Abel isn't just a dog. He's attuned to people, to who they are. He wouldn't be here comforting you if you were a bad person. You're a good person."

MJ: "Ya gonna tell me he's a demon bein' punished t'live in the body of a dog? He has t'be a good boy n'then he can be real."

Rohan: Rohan shook his head. "No, not a demon. Not cursed. He's Xavier's familiar. And he's very real."

MJ: "Wait, what?"

Rohan: "Abel is Xavier's familiar."

MJ: "Yeah but what does that mean?"

Rohan: "It means he's not just a dog. He's a magical dog who's a magical companion, and he can turn into a person."

MJ: "...A person just licked my face."

Rohan: "Sort of," he chuckled. "It's been a while since he assumed his human form. He has moods like that sometimes."

MJ: "You're a pervert," he sighed at the dog. "Ya can't deny it now." An attempt at a joke. His exhausted voice simply couldn't carry it.

Rohan/Abel: Abel responded by licking his forehead some more. A doggy response to the joke perhaps.

It was a particular form of affection that carried great meaning, but Rohan didn't think it wise to bring it up at the moment.

MJ: No, he didn't understand meaning behind the action aside from what it meant as a dog. Even that was too much to bear. The little creature was given a gentle pat.

Rohan/Abel: MJ's hand was nuzzled into and given a lick as well before Abel curled against the vampire.

Rohan smiled and reached over to scratch his ears. "I think you might be his favorite person in this house."

MJ: "Don't butter me up. His favorite is probably that butler on account of givin' him treats."

Rohan: "Ah, so it was Hamilton sneaking him drumsticks from the fridge when Christine wasn't looking?"

MJ: "Oh yeah. He's totally a thief. Someone should have him fired." Ah, an actual smile, faint but present.

Rohan: Rohan laughed softly, kissing that beautiful smile. "Definitely needs an intervention."

MJ: "Gonna make asshat here fat. Can't have lil man's arteries cloggin'."

His smile faded. "Just lay with me?"

Rohan/Abel: Fat and happy, Abel thought. Chicken was truly the love of his life, raw and cooked.