#dontyouhatepants

I had a rare impulse today to venture out into the world and have some (limited, caffeine-related) interaction with other humans. Sometimes I am happiest when I can be in room full of people with headphones on and a book open. I do some of my best thinking and some of my most focused work this way. I'm honestly not sure what that says about me. Despite how it sounds, I do not think I am at my best when I ignore the rest of you. I think that's just the most comfortable level of interaction with strangers or crowds- existing separately but in proximity with a warm beverage and (based on my own perception) a general feeling of good will. Vibes out into the universe, or whatever.

So anyway. I follow this impulse and usually the results a totally satisfactory. I get some good writing and self-reflecting done. I feel sort of human, get my people fix, and go back underground (literally and figuratively). All is right with the (my) world.

Not the case today. Today, my chosen coffee shop was full of people, complete with all of the obnoxious coffee shop stereotypes: several examples of the conspicuously hip, people taking up way more goddamn space than they need, including two oblivious douchey people who are having a conversation right where people need to be walking away from the register to wait for their drinks (and make no move to move after I very politely say excuse me), people who have no idea what they want to drink and are completely unapologetic about it, people who are waiting for drinks and not paying attention. Said people had to be alerted four fucking times to collect their beverages. Upon the collection of said beverages, these two individuals were impatiently and loudly discussed by the baristas.

This part I understand, but then one of them ma'am-ed me when he handed me my drink. The ambiguity in this interaction troubled me greatly- was it said in a flirty, 'haha I'm a cowboy, what's up pretty lady' kind of way, or a 'you don't even register as human to me, here's your coffee or whatever,' kind of way, or was it said in a 'you are starting to look the part you misanthropic bitch' kind of way?

Cognitive distortions aside, I think and talk a lot about gendered expectations, and as usual, I am not immune. If anybody is reading this (fairly unlikely. Katie Kates or Lia, if you're reading this, ::mwah::) and is an exception, my apologies and I am happy to eat my words at your direction, but WHAT WOMAN UNDER THE AGE OF 40 WANTS TO BE MA'AM-ED???? Whyyyyyyy do people do that???

This is the point where it became too much. Overstimulated and confused (which I am learning is just my baseline when in the company of more than one additional meat popsicle), I decided that it was time for the to go cup to live up to its name and I would be having my coffee at home.

All this to say, at least for today: Suspicion confirmed. The outside world is unsatisfactory. The kind of thing that makes me think 'I put on pants for THAT?'

I think the pants needed to be put on. Sometimes I have to go be around people to remember how well I like being alone. And right now, traveling companion and I are doing separate things right next to each other and haven't spoken for the last hour. Really that was all I wanted anyway, funny how things work out. Also, traveling companion brought me a sandwich because he loves me. That's one in the 'W' column.

Understanding Poetry by Dr. J. Evans Pritchard PhD.

To fully understand poetry we must first be fluent with it's meter, rhyme, and figures of speech. Then ask two questions:

1) How artfully have the objectives of the poem been rendered?

2) How important is that objective? 

Question 1 rates the poems perfection. Question 2 rates it's importance. Once these questions have been answered determining the poem's greatness becomes a relatively simple matter.

If the poem's score for perfection is plotted on the horizontal of a graph, and it's importance is plotted on the vertical, then calculating the total area of the poem yields the measure of it's greatness.

A sonnet by Byron might score high on the vertical, but only average on the horizontal. A Shakespearian sonnet on the other hand, would score high both horizontally and vertically yielding a massive total area, thereby revealing the poem to be truly great. As you proceed through the poetry in this book, practice this rating method. As your ability to evaluate poems in this manner grows, so will your enjoyment and understanding of poetry.

Baseball is back!