#dontlookup

I loved it, too

Happy New Year, everybody! 

The start of this year was similar to that of the mini-series “WandaVision”

(my runner-up show of the year)

We were all wounded by 2020, so we kinda locked into some delusional hopes for 2021. It was cute.

Eventually, things seemed suspicious, like plans weren’t going to go forward as we had hoped. 

(Olson, my actress of the year)

Then, we chose our sides, and wanted (and still want) to fight each other.

Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of reasons to want to fight.

Virus  (best movie with symbiotes in it).

Our climate ( in more ways than one).

She was actually made free! But, there are “Free Britney Activists” in the world now, so... I guess now they’ll devote their time to freeing ALL of the Britney’s of the world. 

Rich white people doing rich white people things.

The machines path to inevitably taking over.

The list goes on and on...

It didn’t take us long to give into fear and hate did it?

But, I don’t want to focus on that right now. Let’s celebrate some of the moments of 2021 that put smiles on our faces.

ADELE CAME BACK!- 

To make us emotional... for now... though I’m certain she’ll abandon us for another 3 to 5 years, only to make us emotional again (lather, rinse, repeat) It’s a weird relationship we have with her isn’t it?

(my runner-up Album of the Year)

Mac & Cheese Ice Cream!

Yep :- /

Bernie Sanders, as always, making it cool to be old and crotchety. 

I put out new music. Yesir! 

(a taste)

(more than a taste)

(My Album of the Year. You might be saying “How can you give yourself your own award?” 

I do whatever the hell I want :) Don’t hate cuz my tunes make the kids feel :)

PAUL RUDD became 2021′s sexiest man alive.

I can see that... 

It’s not so much a Michael B Jordan type of sexiness, but more of a... a man watching the kids (not his) of a woman (his girlfriend... sure) who’s out partying tonight... with her guy-friend (totally not a date). And even though she won’t be back until the next morning (late morning), he trusts her. 

- that type of sexiness, I can see that for sure :)

Silk Sonic (my Sexiest Album of the Year Award). Even this pic is oozing with sensuality.

If you don’t believe that music alone could get someone pregnant, just take a listen, and you will.

“I Think You Should Leave” season 2

(Tim Robinson is def my Funny Person of the Year)

LUBIN TOOBIN IS BACK!

For all of you perverts out there who have been longing for the day you can do what he did, and have it be no big deal... that day came this year. Congrats.

The 2021 Olympics!

As always, giving us reasons to cheer and to simultaneously cringe.

Cash in the walls!

Times have been tough for everyone, including churches. But, God, apparently, “blessed” Joel Osteen with gobs of money in the walls of his church.

I’m not making that up! Hey, preachers, pick yourselves up a sledgehammer and try your faith.

The Washington Football Team scandal (and no real punishment in sight).

You might be asking how this could be a good thing? Well, it’s not. It’s a truly horrible thing (it’s worth looking up if you haven’t heard). BUT, if you’re as rich and powerful as the owners of the NFL are, then this story might give you a smile of relief. Finally, a win for the rich,abusive, white guys out there.

And... this - Ye (my Artist of the Year), DaBaby, and Marilyn Manson? - on stage with each other? Mac & Cheese Ice Cream was more predictable.

It has to be the work of the same god who put money in Joel Osteen’s walls that made that happen.

We can’t reflect only on the good. We must learn from difficulties and battles of 2021 as well, right??

We learned that dragons ARE real! 

... and that no matter how slip... sorry, wrong pic

We learned that dragons ARE real! And that no matter how slippery they can be, with diligence and some hocus pocus on your side, they can be slayed.

(”Shang-Chi”, btw, my Personal Fave Flick of the Year - don’t argue with me)

Lil Nas X’s “Montero”!

The music is NOT the bad thing. I liked most it (though if you listen to the lyrics of some songs, he seems sad)! I like him as an artist. I like his style, and his videos. I, for one, salute his marketing strategy in 2021.

I just can’t get the imagery of someone twerking on the lap of a seemingly bored Satan, out of my mind. The devil doesn’t look like he’s having any fun does he?

And our kids are going to imitate this art. I don’t know if any of the parenting books out there prepare parents for kids shaking it in front of Satan, and then putting blood in their shoes.

“MALIGNANT” - my Comedy of the Year

“Why?” “How?” If you watch the 3rd act of this movie, then you’ll know.

VAGINA CANDLES ARE EXPLODING!

A real story and a real problem!

Dr. Seuss... racist as shit!

TOM BRADY (my Athlete of the Year)

- proving that unlike Bernie Sanders, one is not doomed to being cold and lovably irritable when they get old. Sometimes, when you get old, you when another Super Bowl ring.

The Weeknd was lost and confused.

.... as were many, who started wondering, if the cult rumors were true with this performance. I dug it though:)

There has been an increase of conspiracy theories that certain artists, including The Weeknd, are conjuring spirits and portals to Hell during their performances. 

Obviously, that’s nutty. But... nothing would surprise me after the last couple of years.

Perhaps the end of all things will kickoff during an Olivia Rodrigo concert.

And lastly, we learned a lot from “Squid Game” (my Show of the Year)

Probably not as much as we should have learned from it, but more to never play “Red Light, Green Light” ever again.

(the old man, btw, my Actor of the Year ---- which doesn’t make much sense, only that I loved that character.)

2021 Praphie Award goes to - 

Willem Dafoe!

This is completely an inside joke that’s not worth explaining, but imagine this fine actor selling products such as:

“Willem Dafoe’s Sauerkraut Juice”

“Willem Dafoe’s Homemade Breast Milk”

“ Willem Dafoe’s Half-Eaten Apple Pies”

“Willem Dafoe’s Sexy-Parts Trimmer”

I want to publicly thank Willem Dafoe for all of the laughter he’s given me and my colleagues in 2021.

The more this face can sell, the better off we’ll all be.

Last Year’s Slogan to live by:

“If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t return to you, hunt it down, and kill it.”

This saying was truly inspirational.

2022′s slogan shall be:

“Recently, I made a promise to myself that the next time I got a boyfriend, I’d be on the lookout for red flags. And if I saw any, I would do the healthy thing and I would murder him.” ~ Harley Quinn (”Suicide Squad 2″)

I think there’s a lot of wisdom there, people. 

Meditate upon it, build healthy relationships, have fun, stop overreacting, and ENJOY THE COMING OF 2022.... oh, and don’t look up.