#dontknowwhy

Fame Confusion.

Friday, February 28th, 2020. A day like today but 5 years ago, I picked up a friend in her home in Saugus and we drove to Disneyland to what would be our first date. That day five years ago began this crazy journey of our life together. Happy Anniversary @coupygirl ❤️❤️❤️! Somehow she still loves me. Despite the jokes, me being a man-child, and a royal pain in the ass, she’s still around for some reason. 😂 here’s to many more anniversaries, Lady! #dating #disneyland #firstdateanniversary #manchild #shestilllovesme #dontknowwhy #imapestiknow #5yearsdownforevertogo #thatsalongtime #tagsfordays #stillgoing #dinnerdatenight #blackangussteakhouse #cowboycookie #flowersandacard #stillgotitithink #moretags #justbecauseican #dayfiftynine #dayfiftynineof366 https://www.instagram.com/p/B9JH_aFAq_M/?igshid=niqwachl4uhi

Better to admit that now than to wonder where normalcy went volumes back.

... 🤦‍♂️ when you got invited to try out this new game on iOS and it is actually #fortnite 🤪 ... #notevenagoodplayer #games #somehowinteresting #fortnitebattleroyale #ios #iosgames #funny #playing #playingwithfire #weekendvibes #donknowwhatimdoing #dontknowwhy

Another fucking day 🖕🏼

Or it could be "hey it has been awhile since I heard your voice, and actually I thought I will never hear I again. Or at least not on the phone what means you called because you wanted to talk. I missed talking to you, the time since we last spoke wasn't the best for me. As you know, even if I haven't told you, because you have known how much I loved you and cared for you. And after I heard you got a new girl in your life, my world collapsed. I know you won't understand how that feels because you probably never loved someone as much as I loved you and got your heart broken by this person. I don't know what to say, you miss me, or do you just miss someone like me. Who listens and cares for you. I thought all this time ago you made your decision that you don't want me to be part of your life. Even if my plan was to spend all my lifetime with you. So now you are alone or just not happy with the way your life turned out. But do you know what, you shouldn't call me or text me or try to get in contact. Because you broke my heart so many times over and over again and I couldn't resist to let you back in again. I loved you so damn much and you took advantage of it, of me. You always came back when you needed me, or better when you needed that someone who was there for you. And now, what is this now? Do you wanna talk and tell me your problems or do you need someone to sleep with so you won't feel alone? I would have done everything for you. But your action showed me you never needed ME, just someone like me. So please go and look for that someone because if it would be me, I would be still part of your life. I won't lie to you, I still miss you sometimes and hearing your voice hurts more than I thought but I am happy now and you can't take that away from me ever again. You missed your chance, you pushed me away and instead of staying I decided to leave. And you never came after me so I knew my decision was right. I won't forget you, how could I but I won't allow you to keep controlling my life. Have a good one and stay safe." That would be the best answer but most likely it is going to be. "Oh hey... I miss you too, I always missed you but I never dreamed about you missing me. I hope your life is good with you and you found what makes you happy. I always wanted to tell you how much I loved you and than leave but it would be a lie. Because I still love you, and I always will. I am sorry for that and I know you will never love me the same but maybe we could meet up and talk or just hang around each other. Even if that means after a few weeks or months you are going to leave me again. But until then I would be happy having you in my life again. So what are you saying?" It is sad if I think about this conversation in the future. Specially because it won't happen but just the knowledge of me running back to you, scares me. It shows me how much I love you and that I will always love you... it is just sad that we couldn't make it to the happy ending part. When you notice how much you need me and love me...

What now - Rihanna