SMEARS.
Every woman and their cat hates the word. Our vaginas quiver and tighten (and not in a good way) when our brains are thinking about them. However, they are one of the MOST IMPORTANT examinations that a woman should take 5 minutes out of their day to think about, book and attend as it could literally save your life.
So my experience was a little strange, sore and a giggle all mingled into one 10 minute appointment. I arrived in a jumpsuit (did not think that through) so I had to strip off to my bra (but also felt comfortable taking my socks off too!) and lie on the bed waiting for the nurse patiently. On her arrival I greeted her with a nervous TA DAH (along with complimentary jazz hands) due to the awkward elephant in the room (which was the fact that I was naked for my smear). She giggled, I giggled, and she was as gentle as she could be through the small few minutes of discomfort.
We meowed and growled with laughter due to my 18 year old acceptable tattoo (I’m 26 now people) of a Cat that spreads from my tummy to my triangle of lady garden. Which also softened the blow (excuse the pun) of the plastic cold penis shaped contraption, and the slight scrape of the cervix, but guess what women? I am happy I had it done because it’s important to us people with vaginas. Saves lives in fact!
I’m not asking anyone to go get naked, sock and all and get a “talking point” tattoo on your vagina so the visit to the doctors of gynecologist is a giggle, I’m saying that it’s not as bad as you think, and you can make light of it to fit your mood. I did, and I really can’t hack things like that, so, SO CAN YOU 👊🏻
Plus you can stretch 40 minutes of undisturbed reading in at the doctors if you drop the cheeky monkeys at school early enough as you know if your surgery is crazy busy like mine, winning?
