to dog walkers
You have one job. Though your company is a more expensive dog-walking business in this town, I pay without complaint because, in my view, paying you $20/day SHOULD come with a piece of mind that my dogs will not get hurt, die, or have something potentially less severe occur, like getting off leash or getting into a fight with a roaming cat. So when you call me in the early afternoon and tell me that you’re locked OUTSIDE of my apartment because you left BOTH sets of keys inside, I am confused by your stupidity. And when my SO has to leave work, pay for bus fare, and take an hour out of his day to come home and let you in, I am annoyed by your thoughtlessness. But when you then proceed to allege that one of the key sets did not work properly anyway and you say that you may LIE and tell your boss that we “changed the locks” so you don’t get into trouble, I am fucking LIVID. Bitch, I’m the most responsible, thorough, and prepared person you will EVER meet. I not only had multiple copies of my apartment keys made upon moving in, but I tested each and every one twice to be sure it worked in our locks. I then divvied up all of the sets onto separate key chains to distribute accordingly, and you received two WORKING copies. I’ve had a dog walker for over 4 years. You think I don’t know how this shit works?! If you DARE to make a statement that implies I am irresponsible, I will not cut your throat... I will simply attempt to have you fired and bash your name over the airways. DON’T tell me I’ve done wrong when it comes to the safety of my apartment and my pups. You will lose and you will regret it, you dumb fucking bitch.
