October 7, 2012 - Three Strikes
...I am completely miserable, San Diego.
Size: XL | Fabric: 100% Cotton | Made by / in: Gildan / Honduras
Had Since: 3/30/2012 | Price: FREE! | Times Worn: 0
This shirt...*sigh*
This shirt was a generous donation by my friends Brett and Gabby, whom custom dictates receive a Huge THANK YOU! When I started this project I was begging for shirts, because I honestly didn't think I could get to 366 on my own, and because I thought it would be fun for people to be able to give me shirts they wanted me to wear. You know...free advertising for their causes, or products...I assumed they might donate things they thought I might look good in, or that would appeal to one of my interests...something I could at least speak fondly of, both here and upon wearing them again in the future. But no. It unexpectedly turned into a somewhat revealing study of human nature, and I was fascinated; I very quickly realized that Most peoples' first thought when I made that plea for help was, "Can I give you a shirt you won't like!?" And, as I was begging, I couldn't very well turn down a free shirt. That brings us most of the way to this shirt.
I mentioned yesterday that I specifically wear that terrifying Smashing Pumpkins shirt to torment my buddy, Brett. A big part of our relationship is lovingly tormenting each other, which - in my defence - I do only in response to him doing something to torment me. He tormented me, naturally, in response to something I did to torment him, which was obviously done in retaliation for him tormenting me. But it's okay, because he was only tormenting me because I tormented him first (which I never would have done had he not tormented me to begin with). And that, friends, brings us the rest of the way to this shirt.
I think Brett and Gabby were both delighted when they realized they could give this shirt to me, which they got from...Gabby's parents? Maybe? I don't remember the full story, but what I DO remember is that they knew full-well that I would not like it, hence their delight. Thanks again, kids. Let's have a look at this garment and its crimes against my torso. As I've mentioned, I'm no great drinker. I enjoy a few fingers of whiskey from time to time, but never developed much of a taste for alcoholic swill outside of that. As such, I've never had any desire to advertise for the beer companies...Strike one. And as I've mentioned, on multiple occasions, I'm no great sports fan. I enjoy watching football (soccer, to you) and a bit of ice soccer (hockey, to you), and anything to do with the Olympics (...the Olympics...to you...), and like to participate in disc golf, bowling, and kickball (...to you). You'll note that our national pastime is not included anywhere on that list, as I find baseball to be...let's just say I don't try to Find baseball, period. Yeah, that'll do. Anyway...Strike two. And strike three? The sleeves of this shirt are unlike any other in my collection; they're short-short sleeves! If you couldn't tell from the first picture, allow me further illustrate the problem:
The red shirt is one with what I would call "normal" sleeves. Notice that these sleeves are about two inches shorter than that, which is just...weird! What is this shirt? Did the baseball and beer people get them at a discount because they used less sleeve material? I certainly hope so. In fact, I hope this was the product of a mistake on the factory floor, and instead of destroying the garments they were donated and made into (what I assume was) a free give-away at a sporting event. I refused to wear the sleeveless shirts in my collection without a real shirt underneath, so this is probably the most uncomfortable I've been all year. The remains of my Postal tan are very exposed, and I feel exposed and self-conscious. So, yeah...Strike three, this one's out!
"Out" to Goodwill, naturally.
I wore this one to church today, at Brett's request, but didn't abide by All his unreasonable demands. He challenged me to wear it uncovered, for all the congregation to be subjected to it, but I couldn't bring myself to that. I wore a nice red button-down over it, and then applied a suit jacket over that...as an extra layer of protection against it. In case you were wondering, that ladybug Pillow Pet in the first picture was also a gift from Brett, meant to torment me (re: I'm afraid of ladybugs), and will also be going to Goodwill soon. Maybe I'll put this shirt on it when I send them away together! Thanks again to Brett and Gabby, no matter their malicious intent, and thanks to Leah for taking today's lovely picture.
...can I please take this shirt off now? Not until I go to bed? Man, I need a drink.