#donaldmalarkeyxreader

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warnings: sexual content implied

Eugene Roe 🩺

• absolutely the best guy best friend you could ask for

• doesn’t do that weird “I like someone and you know her very well”

• strictly platonic, always a gentleman

• but he’s definitely thought about it

• asks you for relationship advice, because he’s very nervous when it comes to that

• secretly learning everything that you want from a relationship

• sunshine (you) x sunshine protector (Doc)

• that or it would be introvert x extrovert and you’d constantly push him to get out of his shell

• now if it’s Doc, you, and Babe

• good lord. literally just pure chaos for Doc

• it’d be like herding cats

• chocolate lovers. he’s constantly giving you chocolate bars if he can get his hands on them. especially if something traumatic happened

• extremely protective. lowkey giving doberman energy when he notices someone taking interest in you.

Babe Heffron 🪖

• youngest child x oldest child vibes

• can’t spell (Babe) + somehow understands it (you)

• would (and probably already has) get into a fist fight over you

• Babe gives off “grew up with only sisters” energy so I think he would be so respectful and just a good best friend overall

• steals your food

• literally right off your plate in front of you

• puts shit on a higher shelf on purpose if you’re shorter than him

• probably hit on you once when he was really drunk

• he says he doesn’t remember it

• if you him and Doc all ended up in the same fox hole?

• you two would worry the hell out of Doc (and get a laugh out of it)

• hates all of your ex (& current) boyfriends

• would make out with a girl who looked suspiciously a lot like you

• would take a long time for him to confess outright

• you knew the whole time, you just wanted him to say it first

Joe Liebgott 🍫

• you’re the sweetest person ever

• he’s the biggest asshole you could meet

• absolute chaos the two of you

• has definitely beat someone up over you before

• easy company is genuinely shocked that Joe is able to befriend you

• you’re considered to be the smartest person in easy company, and Joe? well.

• overthinks (you) x doesn’t think (Joe)

• “hershey bars!” “lieb, you don’t need that you’re sweet enough.”

• flirtatious kind of friendship on his part

• would definitely make a dirty joke to make you blush or laugh

• lowkey no one can tell if the two of you are dating or not

• he’s probably secretly (or not so secretly) in love with you

• would definitely be the type to get jealous of you starting a relationship/talking to someone else

• would ruin your relationship on purpose

• voted most likely to get married by easy

Donald Malarkey 💌

• morons

• the two of you share one brain cell that barely works half the time

• after Skip and Penkala die, you two become a lot closer

• the four of you were best friends

• literally even more inseparable than before

• he definitely cried on your shoulder

• you never judged him

• Malarkey became more serious after their deaths, but you managed to keep him in good spirits

• makes jokes (you) + laughs (malarkey)

• you can’t let go of the time Sobel called him Lt Bullshit

• that’s probably what you call him majority of the time

• he has an equally offensive nickname that you hate he calls you

• things change when Skip & Penkala die

• the tension between you two is undeniable after

• he realizes he can’t live without you

• you two most definitely keep in contact after the war

• “and they were roommates.”

George Luz 📞

• so protective of you

• you two make each other laugh until you’re in tears

• annoying as hell when apart, even more annoying when together

• silly (you) x sillier (Luz)

• for the love of God, don’t play a movie that you two have already seen

• unfortunately Luz is the type to say “I like someone and you know her very well”

• it’s not cringe tho because I mean it’s George Luz.

• you two have probably hooked up at least once

• or have a steady thing going in secret

• you both claim it’s to stay in better shape

• you deny that if it comes up

• you try to play wigman/woman for him

• you probably just end up jealous

• Luz is the only one allowed to tease you

• friends to lovers excellence

• you and Luz get married after the war