#don steele

A father goes to a semi-shady, semi–mystical shop and finds a semi-shady, semi-mystical pet there which he buys for his normal kid (who already has a great dog). Gizmo is the name of the Mogwai creature who is an adorable little bipedal, bat eared baby boy who is pure and deserves protection. He has three (3) rules: One (1), no bright lights, two (2), don’t get him wet, and three (3), never feed after midnight. With those ominous rules they take the cutie and go off to have adventures. The first adventure is singing (yay)! The second adventure is spilling water on him (boo). This makes his little body explode balls of living fur that become new Mogwai. Gross! Absolutely yucky!

The new Mogwai are different from Gizmo, they have a leader named Stripe who is kind of a bad seed. They get up to mischief and one night that mischief includes tampering with the clocks so that they get fed past midnight! What happens next is similar to a scene in ALIEN with a bunch of gross eggs all over the place. Everyone is just kinda jazzed and/or casual about this even though it was the last of his only rules and these eggs are menacing but it’s all fine, don’t even go ask the guy you bought it from, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? So the eggs all hatch with fog and green goo and it is heinous and wonderful and then we have these nasty little green things that aren’t very nice at all and in fact might just be killing folks.

Well they aren’t able to kill yet, there aren’t enough, first they need to break out of the house which they nearly cannot do because of Billy’s awesome mother who gets the call about the eggs hatching and immediately starts killing the little bastards with no hesitation whatsoever and no fear. It was incredible and she was incredible, she was my hero, but of course the movie is called GremlinS plural so you knew that Stripe was going to be taking a dip and when he did hundreds of Gremlins were born from his nasty flesh. NOW the killing begins, bye-bye Mrs. Deagle, you old hag. The little guys run riot until near morning when they all gather in the movie theater to wait out the sun but Billy just blows up the fucking theater. Wack. 

Stripe was out getting candy though so he didn’t die. Boss battle in a drug store! The store has a large fountain though which is not great. It also sells guns which Stripe knows how to use and uses. The Mogwai are super smart and have intimate knowledge of the world and know how things work, it is honestly pretty scary when you think about the things they did on their rampage (the one who changed the traffic lights to all green so there would be accidents was advanced). After fighting, Gizmo in a Barbie car, Barney the dog attempting to come to the rescue, and Stripe almost multiplying, he ends up being melted by direct sunlight. Sucks to suck! Gizmo is taken back by his original owner in the end, good. Billy is sad but ultimately doesn’t complain. Gizmo says “Bye Billy.”