And what if he lets you? What if you tell him beg him to let you ride him, that you promise to make him cum if you do all the work (that’s the condition)? And so he does, lying there with a hand propped behind his head, watching the way you desperately rock and grind your hips.
If you asked him, he would tell you that it feels amazing, incredible even, especially the way you tense around him each time you grind down, attempting to press his cock right to that sweet spot that sets you off, but he can also see your growing frustration, and that amuses him. You were so insistent on riding him, on not needing his help to get yourself off, and now he’s reaping the benefit of watching you struggle to push yourself over the edge. There’s not even a buck of his hips, he uses all his self restraint to stay still, instead basking in the way you work your tight, wet hole along his cock as it pulses inside you.
“Please,” you whine. Nothing could sound sweeter, and even if it might be enough to make him give in under any other circumstances, a part of him wants nothing more than to tease and rile you up further.
Raising a brow in response, a smirk curls at the corner of his mouth. “You said you wanted to ride me, is this all you’ve got?” It’s a taunt, followed by a flash of teeth as his grin spreads.
There’s an undeniable ache inside you. No matter how hard you roll your hips or grind yourself down against the cock stretching you, stroking along every inch of your sensitive, slick walls, nothing seems to be enough to push you over the edge. The coil in your belly grows tighter, straining with the need to snap. Euphoria sits right at your fingertips, and you know that with the slightest extra touch, you’d fall into it completely, feel it pulse through every inch of you the same way you feel him pulsing inside you.
For as cocky as he acts, he can’t hide that part, you feel how he responds, how even a small squeeze makes his thighs flex beneath you as he fights the urge to thrust up. You know he wants to, and maybe, if you push him just enough, hit all the right buttons, he’ll give you exactly what you’re chasing.
His head falls back, Adam’s apple bobbing as a low, restrained sound rumbles from his throat. His eyes close, and you take the chance to sneak a hand down between your bodies, hoping that with just a little extra help, you might finally find your release.
It’s quick. He catches you instantly, eyes snapping open, and clicking his tongue in disapproval. “No hands, remember?” A brow lifts again, this time paired with a firmer tone, the teasing edge replaced with something more commanding. “Back on me.”
You obey, placing your hands back on his shoulders, partly for balance, partly because he wants to keep you exactly where you are, teetering on the edge, denied the release you so desperately crave. You feel yourself growing slicker with every drag of him inside you, the wet sound between your bodies growing louder.
He hums under his breath, amused, satisfied, far too aware of the torment he’s putting you through, and enjoying every second of it.
“Is that all you can do, baby?” His voice drops, soft and coaxing, sending a ripple down your spine and between your thighs, only intensifying the ache.
“Yes…” you whisper, breathless, needy.
His gaze drifts over you, your chest rising and falling, listening to the way your breath stutters as you try to pick up your pace, only to falter the moment you get too close. He sees it clearly, you need more, you need him, and he’s determined to make you say it.
“Look at you…” he croons. Your fingers flex against his shoulders, nails pressing into his skin. “So desperate to cum, but you can’t… because you need me.”
A retort sits on the tip of your tongue, something bratty and defiant, but it dies there, caught between pride and the overwhelming need building inside you.
“Say it…” he murmurs, smirking as he tilts his head. Your hips slow, your eyes locking onto his. “Tell me you need me to make you cum.”
You huff, dragging your nails down his tatted chest, earning a sharp hiss as his muscles tense beneath your touch. You know he’s holding back—barely.
“No,” you snap, a stubborn edge to your voice, your mouth tilting upward in defiance. Bratty, exactly how he likes you.
His eyes darken slightly, a flash of excitement rousing behind them. “No? Mm… I think someone’s lying.”
You shake your head, refusing to break, even when he starts to roll his hips up into you. Especially then.
“You don’t need me?” he presses. “Don’t need me to flip you over and fuck you into the mattress right now?” He leans forward, breaking his own rule, lips brushing along your collarbone and up your neck as his hands slide along your thighs, settling firmly at your hips.
“Just say it, baby,” he murmurs against your skin, voice low and coaxing. “Tell me you need me to make you cum, and I’ll do it right now.”
Your resolve begins to crumble under the warmth of his mouth, the pressure inside you unbearable now, insistent, and impossible to ignore. You need it. You need him.
“I need you…” you breathe, the last of your resistance slipping away.
“Say it again.”
There’s always a catch, but right now, you don’t care.
“I need you to make me cum,” you whine softly.
He smirks against your skin, lips brushing your ear. “Louder.”
This time you make a meek attempt to beg, hips bucking against him, desperate, needy, proving your point in every frantic movement. You’ll give him whatever he wants if it means finally getting to cum. He makes you repeat it again and again, dragging it out until you’re begging, the words falling from your lips without hesitation, and only then does he finally give in.
Flipping you both over, his hands grip the back of your thighs, pulling you flush against him as he drives deeper, the shift forcing a moan from both of you.
“That’s it…” he murmurs, his lips brushing yours. “See what a good little brat you can be.”
Any retort you might have is swallowed by his kiss as he finally fulfills his promise, drawing back and thrusting into you with a rhythm that steals your breath, forcing you to feed moans into his mouth as he keeps going, relentless, refusing to stop, even as your walls tighten and you cum around him.
All he craves is more, wanting nothing more than to keep going until you’re completely undone, creaming around him, until he has you filled, all while serving as an appropriate lesson; a reminder that you’re always going to need him to cum.
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SUMMARY: Due to really bad anxiety, you sign up at an agency that matches you with a dominant partner.
WARNINGS: 18+ DOM/SUB. Noah is a soft!dom and pleasure!dom, but definitely dominant. Smut, control, rules, guidance, mild painplay, denial, exploration. (There is no harsh degradation, humiliation, punishment etc, it’s not going that hardcore.) Each chapter will have its own warnings.
It starts off a little slow for reasons the story will reveal – it’s not straight into the kinky stuff.
I’ve done research, but this will probably not be a typical display of dom/sub – not all elements will be present. I have a specific idea in my head for Noah and it does not always fit the ‘norm’.
I need morally dubious wolfcut!noah to absolutely fucking ruin me. I'd let him do anything to me. I need a fucked up man with fucked up morals to absolutely use me. I'll happily gag around his dick, or let him choke me as he fucks me into the mattress <3
Noah comes over, and you know, almost instantly, that something is off.
You made dinner and Noah is very polite and friendly during the meal, but his smiles were half-hearted, he seemed distracted and a little distant. There were small moments when true emotions came through, like when you said that you had a rough day, you saw his true concern.
He was also quiet, not really offering any information and adding very little to the conversations, but you noticed that he was trying – he just really was not feeling it.
You stand in the middle of the kitchen for a really long time staring at the door after he left. You play the evening over and over in your mind. You think about how even the texts have been stunted for the last few days.
You think back even further and remember that he was gone by the time you woke up on Sunday morning after a really intense session the whole of Saturday. You were looking forward to the comfort of waking up next to his sleeping form, and you felt so disappointed when you realised he had gone. But it’s only now that you are sure that something was wrong.
You have a panic attack right there in the kitchen, leaning on the counters while you couldn’t inhale, your chest so constricted that it felt impossible. After hours of crying and a lot of overthinking you couldn’t sleep. The gnawing pit in your stomach remaining uneasy and constantly on your mind.
But you didn’t let him know. You didn’t ask.
Thursday:
The email comes through while you were at work and you didn’t read it right away. You almost forgot about it. Until later that afternoon when you were at home and checking other messages.
Even then you didn’t think it was serious, you were expecting just a usual communication, but as it dawned on you what it is you are reading, you feel a heat spread through your body. You read it several times, almost sure you were mistaken, but every time your eyes see the words it cut a little deeper into your heart that was beating like it wanted to climb out of your mouth.
The very short and simple email confirmed that Mr Davis has cancelled the arrangement that he had with you and the agency and that it was in effect immediately. Thank you for your time with the agency. Please make use of our services in the future.
Your mind feels completely empty, unable to process the information. At the same time, it feels like your mind is screaming at the top of its lungs with the number of thoughts crashing through it.
You work your way through another panic attack, breathing just like he fucking showed you and you were not sure if it made it worse – thinking about him, when he was the cause of your anguish and pain and anger. How could he do this?
When you could breathe normally again you started to think about what you could do. Your options all seeming terrible. A really big part of you wanted to block him and never ask him why, the part of you that was proud and wanted to protect yourself. But there was a bigger part that kept telling you that Noah would not do this.
You think about calling him. But having this conversation over the phone was not something you wanted to do.
You laid in bed and could not sleep, could not stop thinking and worrying and wondering why this is happening.
The thought barely popped into your head before you jumped into action, throwing the blankets back and putting on just enough clothes that you could leave the house without freezing. You got in the car and started the drive to his house convinced that this was a great idea. The closer you get, though, your confidence starts to buckle, but you keep going. You feel fear like you haven’t felt in months grip you and yet you keep driving. Tears start for the first time since reading that fucking email and you wipe at them just enough that you could see where you were going as you keep moving forward.
When you park in the driveway, you opened the door and got out. It was dark, the lights in the house were off and it was quiet. Now what?
You send him a text. I am outside.
He doesn’t read it. He is probably sleeping.
You look in the direction of where his bedroom window should be and you start calling him. He answers a lot quicker than you expected. ‘Hey,’ he says his voice sleepy.
It took you a moment to think of something to say. ‘Can you come speak to me? I am outside.’
‘What?’ he says, clearly more woken up by the shock.
You see his bedroom light go on. ‘I know it’s late, but it couldn’t wait.’
‘Are you alright?’ he asks, sounding very worried.
‘I don’t know.’
‘I’m coming, just hang on,’ he says and then he hangs up.
Less than a minute later, you see the light go on and hear the key in the lock. He opens the door and he stands there slightly hunched over, his hair a mess, his face slightly sleep-swollen, but his eyes were alert.
‘What’s going on? What happened?’ he asks.
‘I got an email, Noah. From the agency,’ you say, trying to keep the anger out of your voice.
‘An email?’ he says frowning.
You do not reply, instead you wait.
‘Can you come in? It’s cold. Let’s talk inside,’ he says stepping back to make space for you.
You think about it for a few seconds, literally shaking from the cold, but also fear and anger. ‘I can’t, Noah. You need to tell me now.’
‘Tell you what?’ he asks.
When you try to think of how to respond, the feelings that have been overwhelming you just became too much. You start crying again, hiccupping into it, and hide your face in your hands. You try to compose yourself so that you could actually have a conversation. When you finally look up and away from your hands, Noah is standing in front of you, looking so worried and confused and conflicted that it made you desperate for this to be over. ‘Nutmeg!’ you say louder than it needed to be.
Noah has a visceral reaction to that. He steps forward like he wants to comfort you, and you take a step backward, away from him.
‘Nutmeg means everything stops,’ you say through the tears, your voice thick.
‘It does,’ he agrees.
‘So just get it over with, Noah,’ you say.
‘Tell me what the email said? Please,’ his eyes are shiny and begging with you.
You inhale shakily. ‘That you cancelled our arrangement with immediate effect.’
‘Fuck,’ he says under his breath, but it’s said with anger.
‘So, it’s true?’ you ask, your voice soft.
‘Peach, this is a misunderstanding, alright? Come inside, please, baby? I can explain everything,’ he says, reaching his hand out for you to take.
You wanted to take his hand so much, but not if he was going to rip you apart right after. You wipe at the tears that were falling down your face at an alarming rate.
‘Please trust me? I will let you out as soon as you want to leave. You know I will never make you do anything you don’t want to do,’ he says, his face serious, his eyes communicating so many emotions to you.
‘Okay,’ you say cautiously giving in. You step past him into the house and take the lead to his room, while he locks the door. The house is dark, except for the light from his bedroom, and the house is warm and you feel a tiny amount of tension leave your muscles.
He finally comes in and closes the door behind him. ‘Do you want to sit?’
‘No, thanks,’ you say.
He walks to his desk and takes an envelope into his hands and he fiddles with it nervously. ‘I was going to give this to you tomorrow night,’ he says. ‘I was supposed to be the one to tell you, I asked them not to email you.’
‘Is that the cancellation?’ you ask.
He nods apologetically.
‘Why?’ you ask, unable to stop your bottom lip from shaking. ‘What did I do wrong?’
‘No,’ he shakes his head and steps closer to you again. ‘You did nothing wrong, please don’t think that.’ He doesn’t come any closer, he pauses. ‘I was still figuring out how I was going to do this.’
‘Please. Can you please just say it?’ you whisper, finding it more difficult to hold yourself together the longer you stood in front of him.
‘Yes. I’m going to try my best,’ you see him wring his hands. ‘I don’t want to be your agency-appointed dom anymore. I can’t be.’
He had clearly not finished yet, but you interrupt. ‘Why?’
He takes a deep breath, his chest expanding and he lifts his eyes nervously to meet yours. ‘Because I love you.’
For a few seconds there is no oxygen in your lungs. ‘What?’
‘I can’t keep pretending at our meetings. Do you know how often I have to bite my tongue? Every time we are together, Peach,’ emotion is thick in his voice and his expression on his face is so open and vulnerable.
You process without a word.
‘I was going to do something more coherent tomorrow, maybe have a better plan,’ he runs his fingers through his hair.
You were still thinking of what to say, and then he slowly took a few steps closer to you, gauging your reaction at his movements.
‘I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear. I’m sorry it came out like this,’ he says closer to you now, almost touching.
‘Really?’ is all you manage.
He nods again.
‘Oh.’ You were looking down, not making eye contact.
He lets out a small sigh. ‘I have for a long time,’ he says softly. ‘I was worried it was just because we have a really good intimate connection. But I would fantasise about holding your hand or the way your hair smells when we sleep. I have wanted to tell you so many times.’
He was close enough to you that you didn’t have to reach far at all to touch his hand, and then your fingers twined together like they have many times before, so naturally. ‘Why didn’t you?’
He swallows. ‘I was scared. I am scared. I know that if you don’t feel the same way, this comes to an end, but I can’t hide it anymore.’
The tears welling up in your eyes now are different. The feeling bursting in your chest is different. ‘Noah?’ you whisper.
‘Baby?’ he says, also whispering, while his eyes look right into yours. The love pouring from the look he gives you, the raw feelings evident in the brown – it feels like a physical force hitting you.
You cup his cheek with your free hand. Right when the words were about to come out of your mouth, the reality of what you were about to say makes you choke on a sob. ‘Of course I feel the same.’
He smiles tearily. ‘You do?’ He steps even closer.
‘I love you, so much,’ you cry.
He wraps you up in a hug, and bends down far enough to bury his face in your neck. You feel his body and his heat and how he shakes. You are overwhelmed by the relief.
‘I thought you were going to break my heart tonight,’ you admit quietly in his ear.
He squeezes you a little tighter. ‘I was so scared to tell you.’ You feel his words in your body. ‘I was terrified this would end.’
You rub your hand up and down his back, while you think. ‘I don’t even know when it happened. Loving you. But it feels like it has been so long.’
He drops a kiss on your neck. ‘I was in denial, but when I realised that I craved being with you all the time, I knew.’ He pulls back from the hug but stays close. ‘The letter from the agency was supposed to be a romantic gesture.’
You grimace a little. ‘It nearly killed me.’
‘I’m sorry, this would have been simpler if I just said something like a normal person,’ he grimaces back. ‘Stay the night?’
You nod and Noah’s hands come up to cup your face, he asks permission with his eyes before he leans in slowly and presses his lips against yours and he sighs in relief as soon as he does. The kiss feels different. He kisses you like it’s the first time again. The parting of lips, the first touch of his tongue, sending shivers through your body. He pulls you backwards with him, while he carefully shuffles his way towards the bed. When the back of his legs hit the mattrass, he sits down on the edge.
You stand between his spread legs and he rests his hands on your hips while he looks up at you with his dark eyes. ‘I want to take my time with you,’ he pleads.
You brush back his hair with one hand. ‘I would love that.’
He looks down briefly, before those eyes are boring into yours again. ‘I want to be clear, baby. Before we go further. I want us to be together. I want to wake up next to you every morning.’
‘I want that, too,’ you drop a firm kiss on his forehead.
He slips his hands under your sleep shirt and touches and feels his way up your torso, then he pulls it off your body before his hands are at your breasts. True to his promise he takes his time and explores you like he doesn’t already know every inch of you. He spends so much time licking and kissing and pinching at your flesh and nipples. All you can do is breathe and enjoy his attention, because it is different now.
He makes you lay back on the bed and then spends a lot of time tasting you, no hesitation, lapping at you. Your hand finds the top of his head. ‘Noah,’ you exhale.
‘I got you,’ he pants and then he pushes two fingers into you tenderly. Then he works his fingers, with such familiarity, knowing what you like, softly sucking your clit – but it felt different. ‘Stop me before you cum, baby. You are cumming on my cock.’
‘Please hold my hand,’ you say as your hips roll against his face. He grips your hand, moaning against you. You stop him before you cum, and while you catch your breath, he gives you his fingers that you suck into your mouth. He kisses you so sweetly all the way up your body, until his tongue replaces his fingers.
‘I want you so much,’ he breathes into your mouth.
‘You have me, you’ve always had me,’ you answer back.
‘Why does it feel like it’s been months since I’ve been inside you? It feels like I missed you so much,’ he asks.
You hold his face close to you and kiss the tip of his nose. ‘Because something was missing until now.’
He nods with small movements of his head. ‘But I’ve loved you through so many times.’
You give a small smile, ‘But you didn’t know that I love you too.’
‘Mmm,’ he agrees. ‘You didn’t know either.’
‘No,’ you kiss him again. ‘But we know now.’
He runs his cock up and down the length of your pussy. ‘We know.’ His eyes alternate between yours and where he is pushing into you. His eyes fall closed when he has slowly worked his way all the way in. ‘I love you,’ he whispers, lowering himself down to be close to you. ‘I love you, so much.’
You adjust around him and soothingly hold on to him. ‘I love you, Noah.’
‘Oh my god,’ he says. ‘I thought this couldn’t be more perfect.’
You pull your knees up around his hips. ‘I know.’
He thrusts with slow and sure movements. ‘Seeing how I am covered in your wetness, it’s one of my favourite things.’
You smile softly at him. ‘Are you okay?’ you brush back his hair so you could see his eyes again.
‘Yes,’ he says, barely audible. ‘Maybe a little overcome.’
‘I know, baby,’ you kiss him. ‘Me, too.’
‘You feel so fucking good,’ he groans. ‘I’m not going to last long.’
‘That’s okay,’ you say.
‘No,’ he disagrees. ‘Together. Please? I want us to cum together.’
‘We can try,’ you say, feeling the need in his body and seeing it in his face.
He lifts himself back up, so his hands are free and then he rubs at your clit with his thumb. ‘Tell me what you need?’
‘Noah,’ you say almost wanting to sit up yourself. ‘Don’t put pressure on the moment. It’s already special, because it’s us.’
‘Yeah,’ he nods. ‘You’re right.’
‘Come sit here,’ you pat the bed. ‘Let me take care of it.’
He pulls out of you slowly, and you watch his cock, painfully hard, slip free from your body, dripping wet, flexing between your legs. So beautiful.
He seems unsure as he sits down next to you.
‘Lean back, get comfortable,’ you say sweetly.
He does that, adjusting a pillow behind his back.
Then you sit up and straddle his hips. He looks up at you with awe in his eyes. You just sit lightly on the top on his thighs, then you wrap your arms around his shoulders and kiss him. You kiss like you wanted to tell him how much you felt for him with it. He kisses you back slowly and deliberately and you can feel the tension leave his muscles, his breathing more even. You move forward against his body where his cock is trapped between your stomachs.
Once you have thoroughly messed up his hair with your fingers and once you felt the wet spot on your stomach grow sticky with his precum you wrap your fingers around him and lift yourself so you could guide him back inside you.
‘Oh, baby,’ he almost sobs, letting his head fall forward against your chest. ‘Your pussy feels amazing.’
‘Because you were made for me, Noah. You fit so perfectly inside me,’ you pant, trying to keep your composure as he stretches you open again, filling your body and your soul with a feeling of completeness.
You rock your hips against his, with no rush. You feel him so deep inside where he sends waves of pleasure through your body. Noah’s hands explore your body, touching and squeezing all parts of you he could reach, treating each part like it’s lovely and worthy of being paid attention to.
Every now and again you hear him whisper how much he loves you, but he does it so softly, it’s like he is revelling in the fact that he could say it out loud now.
The pleasure builds slowly and powerfully. ‘Please, baby? Please?’ he says looking up you.
‘What do you need?’ you ask him sweetly.
‘Please fuck me?’ he says and he means it, his eyes desperate.
You move your hips faster and harder against him and he tries his best to meet you with thrusts of his own. Your bodies working together to give each other what it needs.
‘You are incredible, baby. That’s it. Fuck me. Fuck me,’ he encourages. His two fingers start rubbing at your clit and you throw your head back. ‘No, baby, you need to look at me.’
You force your head back and then rest your forehead against his and there you stay. ‘I’m so close, Noah.’
‘Me too, baby, I am going to cum inside you,’ he says. ‘May I?’
‘Always,’ you answer. ‘Please, always.’
He forces his eyes to stay open long enough to look right into your soul when he says, ‘I love you so fucking much,’ and then he cums and grips onto you.
You knew this orgasm was going to be overwhelming, but it still shocks you. You cling to Noah as your body convulses out of your control, and you cry immediately, the emotion and closeness and Noah being too much.
His arms are tight around your waist as you cry into his shoulder. You whisper over and over that you love him, worried that he didn’t know. It took you a while to notice that he was crying too.
You finally break apart after a long time, when your legs start to ache and it’s still unpleasant when he pulls out of you. Before he could do it himself, you get up to get a cloth from the bathroom that you run under warm water and then you head back and clean him off first with gentle strokes. Then he takes it from you and does the same. It all felt different.
When you settle down, he rests his head on your chest and you hold on to each other.
‘So, this means that I get to fall asleep like this every night?’ he asks.
‘Yes, if that’s what you want,’ you answer.
‘It is,’ he sighs.
‘I didn’t realise how much I wanted this until this evening,’ you admit. ‘I kept telling myself that I was silly for loving you. But I don’t think I knew how much I needed you until I could have you.’ You say this shyly, afraid to admit it out loud.
‘I know what you mean,’ he says.
‘I would also think about the small things with you. Like hugs and phone calls. I craved it more than I wanted to admit to myself,’ you carry on.
‘We could have had each other so much sooner, if we just said something,’ he mumbles.
‘Maybe. But maybe we had to get to this point.’ You play with his hair until he falls asleep.
**
When you wake up, Noah is gone. It must be properly morning, because the light is bright in the room. You are not worried, though, because everything is different.
You cautiously creak the bedroom door open, unsure who might be there. But it’s only Noah in the kitchen, in only his boxers, stirring the coffee he had just made. ‘Morning.’
He jumps just a little at your voice. ‘Hey,’ he beams at you. ‘I was going to bring this to you in bed.’
You smile. ‘I can go right back?’
‘Yes, please. I’m right behind you,’ he says.
You arrange the pillows so both of you can sit in bed. Noah hands you a cup and then kisses you good morning. ‘Mmm, this is nice.’
‘It’s a new kind of coffee Jolly insisted we try,’ he says as he settles himself in.
‘I meant waking up with you. But the coffee is also good,’ you say turning your body a little towards his.
His eyes are almost sparkling when he looks at you. ‘I know we’ve woken up together before. But, today, I knew that it meant something more.’
You take a sip of the coffee. ‘So, how is this going to work?’
‘What?’ he asks.
‘Us? This is not very conventional,’ you say.
‘Well,’ he takes a big gulp of his coffee and then places it on the bedside table, then he opens his arms for you. You put yours aside too and climb right into his side where he holds you close, his chin rests on top of your head. ‘We make the rules.’
You squeeze him a little. ‘So, let’s make some rules.’
‘This does seem familiar,’ he teases.
‘I was awake a little after you feel asleep, wondering about how things might change,’ you say softly.
‘All I want is you,’ he whispers.
‘How do you want me?’
‘Baby?’ he says in his dom voice. ‘As long as we are together and you feel safe and loved with me, I don’t care how.’ He rubs your back a little. ‘Tell me what is worrying you. Then we talk about it.’
‘Are we going to carry on being each other’s dom and sub, because I really like what we have, but maybe sometimes, it can just be us,’ you start strong.
‘Yeah, that sounds perfect. I think we both benefit for some form of our arrangement, but some more casualness might also be good for us. I don’t want your anxiety to become worse again,’ his voice deeper than usual.
‘We can work on these things together,’ you say like you almost just realised.
‘I would love to,’ he says.
‘Where are we sleeping if you want to wake up together every morning?’ you ask.
He snorts a little. ‘We can alternate, literally whatever you want.’
‘I think it’s too soon to officially move in together,’ you say.
‘Yeah, I guess,’ he says. ‘But I am ready when you are.’
‘Oh my god,’ you mumble into his chest. ‘Okay, I’ll start thinking about that.’
‘Peach?’ he says. ‘We take it step by step. As long as I can hold your hand with each step, I am happy.’
You process for a moment. ‘I love you. You understand me so well. You have from the moment we met.’
‘We understand each other,’ he politely corrects you.
‘Okay, so no more worrying,’ you say sitting up and reaching for your coffee again. ‘What are we having for breakfast?’
‘Whatever you want,’ he says.
‘Don’t make a joke about eating me for breakfast, I am really hungry,’ you say seriously.
He looks defeated. ‘Fine, can I have you after breakfast?’
Excitement ripples through you. Not only at what this day has in store for you, but what your future could be with him. This beautiful soul, who has been what you needed and wanted from the start.
‘Drink up, we are going out for breakfast and coming right back here for the rest of the day.’
**
You wake in the middle of the night and the room is dark. Your dream woke you, but you could already feel the details of it slipping away. Noah has a protective arm draped across your middle and he breathes in even puffs next to you. You can see his dark hair contrast against the pillow. You notice how his tall frame struggles to find a position where his whole body fits on the bed, his feet dangling over the edge. You touch his hand and instinctively, in his sleep, he holds your hand and a few seconds later he uses his arm to pull you closer to him.
You lay there in utter disbelief, tears brimming in your eyes as you think. When the emotion becomes too much and you start crying, Noah clings to you even more.
‘What’s wrong?’ he says sleepily.
‘Nothing,’ you answer honestly.
He lifts his head to look at you, but he couldn’t really see you in the dark. ‘Why are you crying, baby?’
You try to keep your voice even when you say, ‘I think it all just hit me.’
‘What hit you?’ he asks, clearly confused.
‘I’ll tell you in the morning. It’s okay. You can sleep,’ you try.
‘No,’ he lifts himself up on his elbows. ‘Tell me now.’
You roll onto your side to face him. ‘You are the person who has made me feel the safest in my whole life. I’ve never been a priority for someone like I’ve been for you.’
He is quiet for a moment. ‘Keep going.’
‘I didn’t think I would ever feel like this,’ you say after a moment.
‘Like what?’ he asks sounding sad.
‘Wanted? Important? I can’t really pin point it,’ you say.
He sits up all the way, then he takes your hand again and kisses your knuckles. ‘You know, there’s a part of me that strongly believes that I am unlovable.’
‘What? No,’ you say scooting closer, overcome with a need to make him not believe that.
‘Hey, listen,’ he says sweetly. ‘I am convinced the reason we work, we fit… is because we give each other the very things we don’t think we deserve. So, from my side, I want you, and I cherish you and you are my first priority. I want you to be happy and comfortable more than anything. I love you.’
You process for a little while. ‘Okay, in that case.’ You grab a hold of his face with both hands. ‘You are the easiest person to love. Nothing has been more effortless, you are the best human I know. I can’t think of someone who deserves to be loved more thoroughly than you.’
He smiles sweetly, you feel his cheeks under your hands. ‘Thank you,’ he whispers.
‘I am going to make you believe it, I promise.’
‘Closest I have ever come to believing it has been with you.’
[END]
XX
A/N: A million thank yous to YOU! For giving this story a chance, for reading, interacting with it – I neeeever expected the response I got from you lovely people. I have criiied reading messages and comments and I cannot explain how it has healed a part of me I didn’t know was broken.
I have ideas for more stories, but I will be taking a break before I try that. (I also have a crazy idea to rewrite The Apparition idk) I might add something here and there to Nutmeg, because I feel so sad leaving Noah and Peach.
You guys will never know what you have done for my soul. I LOVE YOU ALL.
favourite fighter? you mean i have to pick just one???!!!
first that comes to mind is bestfriend!noah. it all started after your little arrangement, when you were struggling to sleep and he allowed you to openly get yourself off in front of him. naturally, it led to you exploring more, from just standard mutual masturbation beneath the covers to actually touching one another. the line you didn’t cross was that you never saw each other fully naked or actually fucked, until one day, just touching isn’t enough.
then there’s dom!noah, though that feels a little obvious, just having him instruct you on how to touch yourself. corrupted priest!noah also falls into this, only he would have you spread out on the altar, demanding you show him how you touch yourself to the thought of him, insisting he be the only thing on your mind when you do.
boyfriend!noah would request front row seats after being away on tour, because nothing spices up your relationship more than being apart for days or weeks at a time, left thinking about him, and now he wants to see exactly what you’ve been doing on those lonely nights without him.
there’s also virgin!noah, who leans more toward educational purposes, all because he wants to know what you like, how you like to be touched, and there’s nothing like watching you make yourself cum, unless, of course, he’s the one finally succeeding in doing so.
va!noah has plenty of joi audios, and there is no doubt that he’s thinking about you each time he’s crooning into his mic: “that’s it, i know you want to touch yourself for me, baby.” the heavy breath that slips out as he imagines it, followed by a low moan “oh, look at how wet you are. is that all for me? hm? you get that wet just thinking about me…” he’s diabolical, really, and it’s unfair he doesn’t get to watch you enjoy these audios in real time.
but since he wins out (for me), here’s some mutual masturbation with bestfriend!noah below the cut 😏
you can’t help your curiosity, batting your lashes as you quietly ask him to show you. all it takes is him slowly inching down the sweats he sleeps in to reveal his erect cock, hard and twitching from the moment you began leaning into him, purring against his ear as you coyly presented the idea.
then it’s your turn, shimmying out of your pyjamas and positioning yourself in front of him as you draw your knees up to your chest. slowly spreading your thighs, you reveal the wet mess that’s gathered between them just from him alone, from the way he touches you, even innocently, to his voice and how he speaks to you, to the sight of his cock as it stands, throbbing, tip red and leaking precum, already needing some form of attention.
god, you’d pop it in your mouth and suck it like a lollipop if you could. drag your tongue over the tip, licking up every drop of that precum just to taste him, suck on him until his hips are jerking and he’s whining because he can’t take anymore. little do you know, noah is imagining the same, his eyes locked between your thighs, picturing what it would be like to drag his tongue between your folds, the taste of you flooding his tastebuds before he pins you down with an arm across your hips, desperate to devour you like a starved man finally feasting.
“show me how you touch yourself.” he catches himself off guard as much as he does you.
“what?” you ask, pressing him to repeat, unsure if you heard him correctly.
“show me how you touch yourself when you think about me.” the drop in his voice, the rumble in his chest, sends a quiver between your thighs.
“you mean like this?”
his eyes track your movement as your hand lowers, gliding across your stomach and dipping between your thighs. “just like that…” he breathes, the second you part your folds, revealing your swollen clit to him, the sudden brush of air drawing a soft moan from you.
it doesn’t take much coaxing to get him to join in, the soft purr of your voice guiding him as you bite down on your lower lip, watching the slow rhythm of his hand stroking along his thick shaft, his hips bucking to meet the motion as he spreads his precum, and when you finally plunge your fingers into yourself, you don’t hold back, calling out for him, breathless ramblings spilling from your lips as you tighten around them. “your cock feels so fucking good inside me. god, noah… you’re gonna make me cum… fuck… fuck—”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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WARNINGS: fluff, Noah taking care of you, cuddles, cuddlefuck, outercourse, piv, choking if you squint (please let me know if I need to add something)
Noah walks in the door literal seconds after you knelt down on the pillow. You were not ready for him.
‘Peach?’ he says confusion clear in his voice. ‘Everything alright?’
He drops his backpack by the door, like he always does, and walks closer to you. You were trying to decide how to explain the situation to him.
‘Baby?’ he asks again, stepping even closer.
‘Do you remember that we are supposed to tell each other if we are not feeling well, if it will influence our meeting?’ You try to keep calm and keep your voice steady.
‘Of course,’ he says and he is quick to walk right up to you, concern on his face.
You nod a few times. ‘Okay well, I have had a bad day. And I don’t think I’m up for this tonight.’
‘That’s alright,’ he says immediately.
‘I’m really sorry, I still wanted to send you a text to cancel, but the day just ran away with me and when I saw the time, I was too late,’ you explain and you already feel the tightness in your lungs when you try to inhale.
‘Come here,’ he says softly and he grabs your hands to pull you up and he pulls you closer, his one hand on the back of your head, the other around your body.
Stunned for a second your arms hang limply at your sides, your head against his sternum. You feel the warmth of his body and you smell that he is freshly showered. But mostly you feel the peace start to drive away the chaos in your mind.
‘Breathe with me,’ he whispers and you feel his chest expand and you try your best to follow his instruction. But while the noise in your head is calming down, the relief you feel is the new emotion to overwhelm your senses and before you knew what happened, your arms were around his waist clinging to him. You cry into his shirt, unable to stop yourself.
He rubs your back. And he keeps the rhythm of steady breaths going against you. He even very gently, with small movements, start rocking from side to side.
‘It’s alright, baby. Try to breathe with me,’ he soothes and as you feel calmer, as the tears start to subside you are able to breathe more steadily, and soon he is following your lead again.
‘I’m okay,’ you mumble after a while.
‘Have you eaten today?’ he asks like he does not believe you.
‘Not really, but I feel a little nauseous,’ you reply.
‘Alright,’ he says. ‘Let’s sit down and then you tell me what happened today.’ He drags you to the couch and he sits in the corner in such a way that you can still have your face buried in his chest. ‘I’m listening.’
You tell him about the unpleasant incident at work without going into too much detail, mostly because reliving it too vividly might make you anxious again. ‘So, later during the day, I had a panic attack or anxiety attack, I’m not sure. It was to the point where I felt like I couldn’t breathe.’
He quietly continues to rub your back and listens.
‘So, my friend at work, she wanted to call the ambulance, I just had to stop her. But I did take the rest of the day off and came home and took a calming pill and then I fell asleep, I took the strong one. I woke up late and I didn’t have time to even change clothes, I didn’t shower or get the candles ready. And my head is pounding,’ you let it all out.
He is quiet a little bit, waiting to see if you have more to say. ‘Have you taken something for the headache?’
‘No,’ you shake your head.
‘Do you have something here?’ he asks.
‘No, I’ve checked.’
‘I’m going to pick something up for you, get some food, alright?’ he is already getting up. ‘I’ll be right back. Is there anything else you need?’
‘You don’t have to do that. I’ll be okay,’ you protest.
‘I want you to take a nice warm shower while I’m gone, try to relax,’ ignoring your words, he stands next to the couch looking at you waiting for a response, but you are just staring at him. ‘Did you hear me?’ he asks.
You nod.
‘Good girl,’ he leans down to kiss you and then turns to leave.
You watch the door close behind him and hear his car start. You try to process what just happened, but you found that the effort made your headache worse. Obediently, you head to the bathroom where you take a shower and stand under the warm spray for a while, letting the heat reach your soul. When you get out you already feel a bit better. You always felt better after washing the day off you.
When you were dressed in your most respectable PJs you lay down on your bed, putting a pillow over your eyes to block the light.
After a while Noah is carefully lifting the pillow off your face. ‘Can you sit up for me?’ he says softly.
He puts a few pills in your hand and gives you a glass of cold water, and without questioning a thing, you throw the pills into your mouth and swallow with as little water as possible. You wince at the bitterness in your mouth. ‘Thank you,’ you say.
‘Don’t you want some more water?’ he asks.
‘I’m too nauseous, I need to keep the pills down,’ you explain.
‘Alright,’ he says. ‘Lay back down. I’ll be right back.’
With the pillow over your eyes again, you don’t know what he is doing, but you hear him. So, you concentrate on the little sounds of him moving around your house and try not to figure out what he was up to.
‘I think we are ready now,’ he whispers and you feel the bed dip with his weight as he sits down. ‘It’s been ten minutes since you’ve taken the pill, I need you to eat something.’
‘I can’t,’ you protest.
‘You don’t have to eat it all. Two bites are all I ask,’ he negotiates with you. ‘It’ll make the pills work better.’
You emerge from under the pillow and he holds out half a sandwich to you. He kept it plain, which was perfect. You look at his hopeful brown eyes and reluctantly take the bread from him and take a bite. You chew slowly and swallow.
‘Good,’ he praises. ‘One more bite.’
You take another bite and do the same. Then you hand the rest back to him, and he puts it in a little container on the bedside table.
Then you notice that the lighting was low and instead of the candles he had a small lamp on the bedside table, with the rest of your sandwich and more water. ‘Now, you come here.’ He helps you climb under the covers and he gets in with you. ‘Right here,’ he says as he lifts his arm and you climb right into him, snuggle as close as you could get. ‘Before you get too comfortable, take this,’ he hands you the blindfold, the one you used on your first few meetings. ‘To block the light.’
The rise and fall of his chest lull you into a state of almost-sleep for a long time. But the peace you felt along with the pills soon had you fast asleep on his chest.
You were a little confused when you woke up and pulled the blindfold down and you blinked repeatedly. You seemed to have settled right next to Noah with the top of your head kind of in his armpit. You were warm and comfortable and you breathe a sigh of relief that the pounding in your brain was gone.
Noah had turned off the lights and he had your tablet balanced on his chest with a pillow, your headphones in his ears. He was watching Lord of the Rings – you saw how the only light in the room was cast onto his face.
When you move, Noah immediately takes the headphone from his ear. ‘Hey.’
‘Hi,’ you smile at him. ‘I just need the bathroom.’
‘Come back quickly, you are warm,’ he calls after you.
When you climb back on the bed, he had the movie paused and he was sitting up. ‘What time is it?’ you asked.
‘Still fairly early,’ he says. ‘I wasn’t sleepy yet. So, I went looking which streaming services you have. I hope you don’t mind.’
You shake your head. ‘Not at all.’
‘How’s your head?’ he pulls the covers up over both of your laps while you both lean back against the pillows.
‘A lot better,’ you say. ‘I feel extremely groggy, though. But, I think it’s the pills.’
‘Yeah, I got you the good stuff,’ he grimaces. ‘My friend gets migraines all the time, and I called him to hear what he takes. So, I was confident it would help.’
You think about him, making a call to find out how to best help you. ‘That’s so nice of you.’
‘Here,’ he reaches over and hands you the rest of the sandwich you didn’t eat. ‘You are probably hungry now.’
‘I am,’ you take it from him. ‘Thank you so much.’ You open it, and gratefully take a big bite.
‘Jesse said he also gets nauseous from the pain, and to just let you be. That you’ll eat when you feel better,’ he explains as he watches you devour the rest of the bread.
‘Mmm,’ you agree and then swallow. ‘I even know that eating something makes the medication more effective, but in the moment,’ you shrug. ‘I guess, I kind of forget.’
‘It’s alright,’ he smiles. He is quiet while you eat. ‘Hey, did you get an email from the agency?’
‘I did,’ you nod, thinking of reading through it all and how it made you feel.
He nods looking unsure. ‘You don’t have to tell me the details but I am curious, what did they ask?’
‘Um,’ you think for a moment, leaning into him a little. ‘They mostly asked if you were sticking to the rules.’
He glances at you sideways. ‘And what did you say?’
‘That you have been a very good boy,’ you nudge his shoulder with yours.
He snorts. ‘They asked me the same thing. If you were keeping to the agreement and if I was still happy with the arrangement.’
‘Is it because we were at the two-month mark?’ you ask.
‘Yes, I knew it was coming,’ he confirmed.
‘They asked me if I have used my safe word with you,’ you say almost shyly.
‘I was also asked that,’ his voice soft.
‘Is it a bad thing that I haven’t?’ you ask.
He turns his head to look at you fully in the eye. You think it was to see your face and gauge your emotion. ‘It’s a good thing.’
‘Really?’ you ask.
‘Yes,’ he takes a deep breath. ‘It means you have never felt unsafe with me. It means that I have never pushed too far.’
You nod, thinking about what he said. ‘What if I had used it, though?’
You see the thoughts whirl through his brain behind his eyes. ‘It wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. It is there to be used, after all. But if you had to use the safe word every time we met, for example, that would be a very bad sign.’
You let your head drop a little, feeling foolish for what you were about to say. ‘When I read the question, it was the first time I thought about it, with regards to you. But I must say when I was applying at the agency, I thought safe word use would be common.’
He frowns a little. ‘Do you feel that I am not pushing you enough?’
You keep your head down. You choose your words carefully. ‘I thought the process would be harsher, honestly. I think I was under the impression that having a Dom was, by definition, going to be harsh.’
The frown does not leave his forehead. ‘Keep going.’
‘But, instead you pushed me gently. You took me out of my comfort zone, while holding my hand,’ you want to look at him, but you just couldn’t get your eyes to lift. ‘I am glad I have never wanted to use the safe word.’
When you finally glance up at him, his eyes were fixed of his hands, where he was playing with the drawstring of his hoodie. When he glances up at you, his hair hanging in front of his face, he says softly, ‘You deserve to be guided gently to the place where you feel peace. I really think pushing you too hard would have done more damage than good.’
‘You’re right,’ you agree immediately. ‘You knew that from the beginning. Even when I didn’t.’
‘Thank you for saying that,’ his voice barely audible.
You can almost see that there is more that he wants to say, but he keeps his eyes down a little bit longer and swallows what he wanted to add. ‘I mean it. You were exactly what I needed.’
His eyes are still not looking at you and you begin to worry that you have said too much, or maybe said something he didn’t want to hear. Your brain started whirling with thoughts.
‘Did they also ask you to revise your list of things you are willing to try?’ he says after too long, changing the subject a little.
‘Yes, they did,’ you confirm with him. ‘Do they ask you that too?’
‘Yes, but I will receive a list from them on our compatible acts,’ he says and he finally glances up a little. ‘From there I can make new plans.’ He smiles, while looking pensive.
You decide to change the subject completely to lighten the mood or just get rid of the feeling in your stomach. ‘So, Lord of the Rings?’ you say in a light tone like you are teasing him a little.
‘Yeah,’ he huffs out a laugh and you see his shoulders relax just a bit. ‘It’s one of my favourites.’
You nod. ‘I’ve only seen the movies once a long time ago. But they were really good.’
‘Do you want to watch with me?’ he asks with such a vulnerable hopefulness on his face.
‘I’d love to,’ you say. ‘I just need to go brush my teeth.’
He looks a little lost for a moment.
‘Hey, have you eaten something?’ you ask him.
He nods. ‘I made myself a sandwich too.’
You think for a moment. ‘I have a brand-new toothbrush if you also want to brush yours?’
‘That would be nice,’ he gets up off the bed and follows you into the bathroom.
He opens the packaging of the bright pink toothbrush and he holds it out to you so you can squeeze some toothpaste onto it after you did your own. You stand next to each other, stealing glances in the mirror while you are trying to brush with dignity. Without the toothpaste dripping down your chin.
When you were getting back to bed he says, ‘Let me get the pillows ready for you.’ He packs them and you lay down on one side of the bed. You just watch as he executes his plan which ended up with you on your back, the tablet balanced on your thighs on pillows. Noah cuddles into you, resting his head on your chest with his arm around you, one leg over yours.
You did not expect it, but it was nice. So good to feel him hold on to you. ‘You really don’t have to start the movie from the beginning. You carry on. I am going to fall asleep probably anyway.’
‘Fine,’ he concedes after protestations. ‘One day, we need to watch all of them in full. While you are not drugged up.’
‘With snacks, please,’ you say.
‘Definitely,’ he agrees, nodding against your body and then he settles in. His breath is so hot that you feel it through the top you have on. His foot slowly moving back on forth against your leg.
You feel unsure of what to do. You end up playing with his hair almost absent-mindedly while trying to pay attention to the movie. But Noah was being very distracting. You are pretty sure that he falls asleep before you do.
You are not sure what woke you, but it was either the light of the morning sun or Noah very lightly grinding against you. You are sure that he is still asleep and that he is doing it without knowing. His breathing is still so steady and deep. You let yourself feel the comfort and peace of waking up with him holding your back tightly to his chest.
When he nuzzles into your neck and starts giving you small kisses you knew he was awake and you feel like you can push back a little bit where you can feel how hard he is.
‘Mmm, you feel so good,’ his voice croaks as he softly speaks. ‘But I need to pee.’
You laugh and turn your head. ‘Well, hurry, because I do too.’
He kisses right at the nape of your neck and get out of the bed and walks stiffly to the bathroom. You get up and head to the door for your turn. Noah did not close the door, so you just politely stand back.
‘Noah?’ you say after a while.
‘I can’t. I am hard,’ he says. ‘I can’t pee when I’m hard.’
‘Can I jump the line?’ you ask.
‘Yeah,’ he tucks himself back in and moves out of the way. He stays in the room but turns his back.
You don’t have time to think about it. You feel lighter and better, and wash your hands. ‘Is there something I can do?’
‘No, you’ll make it worse,’ he winks at you. ‘Go back to bed and wait for me. I’ll be there soon.’
You climb back in bed and pull the covers up to get warm and comfy again.
It’s not long before he climbs in right behind you and wiggles closer to your body. He meticulously moves your hair over your shoulder so her could have access to your neck where he left lazy kisses. ‘I hope it’s alright that I stayed the night. I wanted to be sure you were fine.’ His voice is still gravelly and you find it extremely attractive.
You nod and hold his hand that was resting on your hip. ‘It’s fine. Thank you for taking care of me.’ You feel him against you again, hard and very lightly grinding against you.
‘I love taking care of you,’ he whispers. His hand works under your top and his fingers touch and squeeze across your belly while he is making his way to your chest. He pays attention to your nipple by lightly pinching, and touching and he does it so slowly, taking his time. ‘I also love when your hips do this.’
Then you realise that you are meeting his movements by grinding back into him just a little. And you feel so relaxed in the moment that you just keep going and don’t feel ashamed about your body’s reaction. ‘You are so hard,’ you mumble, your breath already faster.
‘Mmm, I am aching to feel you,’ he mumbles back his kisses all over your neck and shoulder still happening. ‘Can you take your bottoms off for me? All the way off?’
You hum an affirmative and get yourself bare as quickly as you can manage and you get back against him. His hand is now all over you newly exposed skin and he growls behind you.
‘How’s your pussy, Peach?’ his voice is so low.
‘Needy,’ you answer.
‘Are you wet?’ he asks. ‘Take your fingers and check for me?’
You do what he asks and feel between your legs, you touch and get some on your fingers and then you show him. He grabs your wrist gently and guides your fingers closer to his mouth. He sucks them clean.
‘Mmm, not bad, but you are not ready yet,’ he says. You feel him move and struggle to get his boxers off. He hands them to you and you take them and just hold on, not sure what he meant by that. You feel his cock hard against you and the ache in you grows.
‘Can you please?’ you ask before you think too much. Your hips were so desperate to move.
You hear the smile in his voice when he asks, ‘Can I please do what?’
‘Please put it inside me?’ you ask. ‘I need it.’
‘If you need it, you need to get wetter, Peach,’ he teases you by grinding harder against you. ‘Lift you one leg a little,’ he instructs. ‘Push back, arch your back for me, please.’
You do as you are told and you feel as his cock slides between your legs, so close. ‘Noah,’ you whine.
‘Drop your leg, there you go. Grip me with your thighs.’ He slowly thrusts himself between your thighs and right up against your pussy. ‘Now I can feel when you are wet enough.’
‘I’m sure I’m wet enough, Noah,’ you argue.
‘No, I don’t think so,’ his voice so calm as he disagrees. He keeps thrusting shallowly. ‘I’m going to slide easily in a while, as soon as you are wet enough. Isn’t it amazing that your body can do that? That your pussy knows what it wants and will get so wet for me?’
You just moan in frustration.
‘Do you want my cock, Peach?’ he asks like he feels sorry for you.
‘Please,’ you beg.
‘Not yet,’ he answers you. ‘Oh, I think I feel it. Oh yeah, that’s it. Oh, Peach. You are slick is covering my dick. Do you feel how much easier I can move now?’
You start to lift your leg so he can guide himself inside of you.
‘No, keep your thighs squeezed together,’ he says as he works his thrusts closer to you pussy and soon he is tucked between your lips sliding up and down the whole length of you. And then his head pushes right up against your clit with each thrust.
‘Oh my god,’ you moan out reaching back to grab onto his hip. ‘Right there, Noah. Please.’
‘Am I getting your clit?’ he asks his mouth near your ear now.
‘Yes,’ you sob.
‘So, you don’t need me inside anymore?’ he asks.
‘No, I do,’ you whine.
‘But then I won’t touch that clit anymore,’ he pouts.
‘No, please stay right there,’ you ask, fighting your own brain and your body.
‘I’ll tell you what. I am staying right here, until you cum for me. And then I’ll slide into that freshly orgasmed pussy. Nice and deep,’ his breath is faster and he is thrusting harder and if you squeeze your thighs just right, his cock hits you exactly where it makes pleasure radiate through your body.
His hand comes up again, over your stomach and between your breasts and come to rest at the base of your neck. Not for a moment were you nervous, you knew he wouldn’t do anything you did not want. He uses the arm around you to pull you even closer to him. It felt secure. It felt safe. ‘Noah,’ you whisper. ‘You feel so good. Please don’t stop.’
‘I won’t,’ he whispers back.
‘Do I need permission?’ you ask.
‘You do,’ he says. ‘But you have it, baby. Cum for me, please. I can’t wait to get inside you.’
‘I’m so close,’ you say as your hand comes up to grip his that was resting on your neck. The tingle starts and spreads and then the powerful pleasure pulses throughout your body and while you were still processing how good it felt, he changes his angle and he thrusts into you.
‘Pull you knees up a bit to your chest,’ he pants. ‘Good girl.’
Overwhelmed by the new sensations that felt incredible on top of the tail end of your orgasm your body is shaking and your head tilts back towards Noah and he wastes no time getting his face next to yours.
‘Please kiss me?’ he asks.
While he is thrusting into you with fast and firm movements, when you turn your head towards him the kiss you share is so sweet and tender. He moans into your mouth. You feel the need in his body communicated by his tongue, those lips against yours. ‘I love when you are this deep,’ you say quietly.
He smiles. ‘You are so warm and tight. It feels like you were made for my cock. It’s too perfect,’ his eyes are squeezed shut. ‘I’m not going to last.’
‘It’s okay, baby,’ you try to soothe him. ‘Cum inside me.’
‘Christ,’ he moans and he pushes in really deep and stays there as he pulses inside you. ‘Oh Peach,’ he sighs. ‘My sweet, Peach.’
SUMMARY: Due to really bad anxiety, you sign up at an agency that matches you with a dominant partner.
WARNINGS: 18+ DOM/SUB. No sex in this chapter. Anxiety, meeting each other, rule discussion. (Let me know if I need to add something)
WORD COUNT: 2814
Nutmeg MASTERPOST | Chapter 2
@chey-h
You follow the instructions printed on a red piece of cardboard down halls and up stairs. The twisting feeling inside your gut makes you feel nauseous and shaky and while your whole brain is telling you, without uncertainty, that this was a stupid idea, you keep walking.
You reach the door with the black number 36 painted on it and take a deep breath, before you take the key you were given and unlock it.
You place the key on the small table right by the door as per instructions.
Before you step fully into the room, you look around. The room is surprisingly normal, in fact there was not a single indication of the room’s intent. It could be mistaken for a boring old hotel room, easily. You take a few steps while taking stock of your surroundings further. There was a large bed with white sheets and red accent colours present in the decorative cushions and extra blanket placed at the end of the bed. The curtains were a deep red and seemed to be made of a heavy, thick material. The carpet was thick and lush, a cream colour.
You take off your shoes. It was one of the instructions. It also would have made you uncomfortable walking on a carpet that colour with shoes on.
There is one door, you walk over to confirm that it is a bathroom. Also red and white.
You shake the cardboard still in your hand in nervousness, then read the instructions further.
The blanket at the end of the bed had to be thrown open across the carpet in the open space in the room. After that you remove your jacket and jeans. The only items of clothing you were allowed were panties, a bra and a plain black vest. You untie your hair. You put your clothes in the bag you brought along and leave it near the door.
After that, you had to find a blindfold that was left on one of the white pillows. A simple mask that covered your eyes and went around your head with an elastic, almost like a sleeping mask.
You were to sit on the middle of the red blanket on the floor with the blindfold in place.
Once you are seated, it only takes a few minutes for the shakiness to come back. If you had something to do, you were distracted. But now you were just sitting. Alone. Waiting.
You can feel your heart beating and there was a sense of tightness and dread that was filling your chest. This was a mistake. A crazy mistake. Yet, you did not get up to leave. You were free to. But you stayed right where you were.
While you wait, you think of the extensive process you had to go through to get to this point. An enormous rabbit hole led you to the agency that pairs you up with an ideal ‘partner’.
First there was a lot of privacy paperwork – no photos, no digging, no posts on the internet – any violation will end the contract you signed immediately, and if it was taken too far could result in legal action. You were happy with this; you valued your privacy also.
Secondly, all-embracing forms filled in about your personality, preferences, limits, experience. All of this to the point where just filling in the forms felt too personal. But you submitted these forms anyway.
Photos were taken of you (strictly for office use). You had to pass a medical exam. You had to hand in a shirt you have slept in for three nights.
After weeks of waiting, you received an envelope via courier. Inside were two profiles for you to review. The agency matched you with candidates based on all your information, someone they are sure you would have the most success with. Out of the matches, candidates then may choose for themselves. The two profiles you received were of two people who chose you – now you had to pick.
This was a very attractive feature to you. Everyone was willing, everyone had a choice, everyone knew what they were walking into. Everyone had the option to terminate the agreement at any time for any reason. This was why the first meeting had to take place at the agency itself. To ensure both parties’ safety, for neutrality and to make termination, should someone choose it, easy and controlled.
You were confident in your choice. So why were you finding it so difficult to inhale?
You hold your breath when you hear the door open. You hear nothing but the door, how it clicks closed and then the key in the lock. The key being placed back on the table.
Soft footsteps coming closer, the rustling of someone’s weight on the bed. Oh shit.
You felt scared, exposed and nervous.
‘You followed the instructions well.’
You let out the breath when you hear the deep voice, the words spoken very softly and calmly. You decide not to respond.
‘You are nervous.’ It’s not a question. ‘I can see your hands shake.’
You fold your hands together, trying to stop the shaking.
‘It’s alright to be nervous,’ he continues. ‘You don’t have to hide it from me.’
In response you relax your hands, or try to.
‘Hmm, let’s take a moment before we go through the preliminaries.’
You hear him move and you think he might be sitting on the floor in front of you, but you are not sure.
‘I want you to sit up straight,’ he waits until you do so. ‘Place your hands on your knees, palms up,’ he waits. ‘And now, you are going to breathe. Listen carefully. Breathe in slowly through your nose and hold it a little, then breathe out through your mouth. As slowly as you can.’
You swallow thickly through the nerves, and then you do as you were told. As you inhale as deeply as you can, you hear him breathe with you. He follows your lead and lets you set the pace. Breath after breath you feel your brain calm down, your muscles relax a little.
‘Good,’ he comments. ‘Keep going. You’re doing well.’
It grounds you, the combination of the extra oxygen and his reassuring voice. You keep breathing. Through the inhales and exhales you tell yourself that it’s okay, that you are safe, that you made this decision for a reason. You’re okay.
‘Alright,’ he breaks the silence. ‘I’m going to go through the guidelines provided by the agency with you. If you feel nervous again, you just start the breathing again. Do you understand?’
You nod.
‘Please answer out loud,’ he instructs quietly.
‘I understand,’ you say and your own voice sounds strange to you.
‘Good,’ he says and then he takes his time before he speaks again. ‘There aren’t many, but it’s important we discuss them thoroughly.’
You sit in the silence and wonder whether you were supposed to answer or acknowledge, but he does not prompt you, so you keep quiet.
‘Participants are encouraged to keep personal details private until both parties explicitly agree to the sharing of details,’ he reads it slowly and clearly. ‘Do you understand?’
‘Yes,’ you respond.
‘For now, this stays in place for both our safety. Do you agree?’
‘I do.’
‘We will contact each other through the agency app for now. However, we need something to call each other. We do not know names, and I think we keep it like that.’
You nod, and then say, ‘Okay.’
‘Do you have a preference?’ he asks.
You think for a moment, and nothing comes to mind. ‘No.’
‘Alright, I actually mostly prefer real names, but for now let’s do ‘N’ for me. Is that fine with you?’
‘Yes.’
‘And I’ve thought maybe ‘Peach’ for you? It’s cute, not too personal and not degrading. Is that alright?’
‘Yes.’
‘It’s important that you tell me if you do not agree,’ his tone of voice stays calm.
‘I’m fine with everything you’ve said so far,’ you answer.
‘Alright. Good.’ You hear the scratching of a pen on paper. ‘Next one. Participants are encouraged to discuss a safe word before any proceedings. Further rules about safe words should be agreed upon beforehand. Clarity on both sides are very important.’ You hear him shift a little bit. ‘You were instructed to have a safe word ready. Have you chosen one?’
‘Yes, it’s nutmeg.’
‘Good,’ he says and you hear him writing. ‘A safe word means a hard stop. Absolutely everything stops immediately. Is that fine with you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Some people have a lot of other methods, but I like to keep things simple. With the exception of the safe word, I am happy with you just telling me what you need,’ he says all of this slowly. ‘Do you understand?’
‘Yes.’
‘Can you repeat it back to me, so I am sure you understand?’ he asks.
You take a deep breath and let it out slowly. ‘I can tell you what I need, we don’t need a code. But the safe word is a hard stop.’
‘Good,’ he says. ‘Do you understand then how important it is that you are honest with me about your needs?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you understand that you will have to speak up to let me know about your needs, even if I don’t ask?’
‘Yes,’ you nod along to try and make sure he knows you understand.
‘Good. Are you still doing alright?’ he asks, slight concern there.
‘Yes.’
‘You see, I don’t think you are being honest. Your hands are beginning to shake again.’
You hear him move again and you have a moment of fear shoot through you. You do not say anything.
‘Hey,’ he whispers. ‘It’s alright. Let’s breathe again. Come on, deep, slow breaths.’
You do it, but your breath shakes a little.
‘There you go, you are doing a good job. Keep going.’
You feel your heart rate slow down again, and it feels like you are back in your body again.
‘Keep breathing while you listen, please,’ he waits for you to take two more breaths. ‘You have to answer honestly when I ask you a question. So, take a moment before you answer. I can’t take care of you if I don’t know what’s going on. Do you understand?’
His voice remained so calm. You nod through the breathing.
‘I know we don’t know each other, but you do not have to be afraid of me. I will not do something you do not consent to. Is that clear?’
‘Yes.’
‘Alright,’ you hear him take a deep breath with you. ‘Ready for the next one?’
You nod, and you keep breathing.
‘Participants are encouraged to communicate clearly about all the rules before any acts begin. This communication should ideally happen before every interaction.’
Your breathing starts to slow down as you are less anxious. You wait for him to continue.
‘This goes for both of us,’ he says. ‘Anything the other one must know, like if you are not feeling well, or are in any pain, you know, something like that. Your mental state at the time. I will tell you about anything you need to know. We will also discuss any expectations and anything else that is applicable to the moment. It’s difficult to be very precise with this one, but the gist is clear and honest communication. Are you fine with this?’
‘I am,’ you answer, and again he writes something down.
‘They have a list of example rules here,’ he says and you hear paper shuffling. ‘I don’t think we need to go through all of them. I will give you the list and you can go through it and let me know if there’s anything that appeals to you. But for now, I don’t want to complicate things.’
‘Thank you,’ you say this and then realise how much you meant it.
You hear him get up and walk across the room to the door. ‘I am leaving the list here on the table.’ He walks back towards you. ‘Alright, I think we can start.’
You immediately take a deep breath again and start the exercise.
‘Good girl, do the breathing whenever you need it. But there’s nothing to be scared of. The only time I am going to touch you is now, when I offer you a hand to help you up. I want you to lay on the bed, please.’
You lift a hand, and he takes it and then he steadies you as you stand. He guides you towards the bed. ‘You can sit there,’ he waits. ‘Now climb on the bed and lay down anywhere you feel comfortable.’
It was very disorienting, but you take your time scooting backwards and you eased yourself down. You keep breathing.
‘You may tell me anything at any time you want. Do you understand?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well done,’ you hear a slight smile in his voice. ‘You’ve indicated on your paperwork that you struggle with anxiety a lot. Is that so?’
‘Yes,’ you say. You wonder if he is just standing next to the bed.
‘It must have been scary coming here today then. Actually following through?’
‘Very scary,’
‘I’m glad you did,’ he pauses a moment. ‘We are just going to do some relaxation tonight. I want you to ask me if there’s anything about this arrangement that is making you anxious.’
‘I will.’
‘Right, please start by relaxing your legs, you are keeping them clenched together. Keep breathing.’
You let go of the tension in your legs.
‘What made you choose me?’ he asks. The question caught you by surprise. ‘There is no reason to worry, I just want to understand.’
You remember your instruction to be honest. ‘It said you were soft-spoken.’
‘Oh,’ he reacts and you wonder whether that had been as strange thing to say. ‘Now concentrate on relaxing your shoulders, please.’
You try, you kind of roll your shoulders and just get the muscles to let go. You also pay attention to your legs that have tensed up again.
‘Is it difficult?’ he asks.
‘Yes,’ you keep trying.
‘Your jaw? Try to relax that also,’ he adds more to your to do list.
He waits a little bit, giving you a moment to achieve what he asked for, but you were really having a hard time, like your muscles just wouldn’t listen to your brain. Once you’ve managed to get your shoulders dropped, your jaw was tense again and it kept cycling like this.
‘You are having trouble, aren’t you? I think I am going give you some homework. I want you to do the breathing exercise during this coming week whenever you feel the need, and then I want you to write down where it happened and if you know, why it happened.’
“I can do that,’ you say.
‘If you are in a position where you have to wait before you can do it, you do it as soon as you are able. I want both of us to understand your anxiety better,’ he sounds like he is thinking deeply about this. ‘Now, I want you to tell me about at least one thing about this situation that makes you anxious.’
‘Making me anxious right now?’ you ask for clarification.
‘Yeah,’ he replies.
‘The list by the door,’ you answer quite quickly. ‘I don’t want to look at it.’
He takes a moment before he says. ‘That’s not a problem, I’ll take it away. Can you tell me why?’
‘I want you to choose,’ you say quietly.
‘Aaah, I get it,’ he takes a deep breath himself. ‘I should have known that. Thank you for being honest.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘No, don’t apologise. I need honesty remember? You did good,’ you hear him get up and you presume he is taking the paper away. ‘One more thing for homework; I want you to tell me next time one thing you require from me physically.’
You feel yourself blush.
‘We are going to explore a lot. But I want to make sure I start in the right place,’ he explains.
‘I understand.’
‘I want you to communicate with me on the app if there’s anything urgent I need to know. However, it is not your job to initiate a conversation or anything like that. You should not feel any anxiety about it at all. Am I clear?’
‘You are,’ you answer him.
‘Good, now you are going to try and relax as much as possible, fall asleep if you have to. There is an alarm that will wake you when the time is up. I am going to sit here and breathe with you. I will leave five minutes before the alarm, I’ll be as quiet as I can.’
‘I’ll try,’ you nod.
‘I think we are going to work well together, Peach.’
WARNINGS: new location, gifts, fluff, oral, piv, mentions of biting (let me know if I need to add something.)
You are sitting in your car, parked outside of a house that you are pretty sure is the correct one. The house is plain from the outside, fairly large with a small garden. Clean and neat. You were not sure why your anxiety was through the roof. Your stomach in knots.
You take a few breaths and then tell yourself out loud to just do it already. You grab the small bag you packed and put it on your lap. You were really not sure what to pack, because you had no idea what to expect. And even though you wanted to pack and pack and pack everything for every eventuality, you tried your best to be sensible.
You check your hair in the rearview mirror.
You grab your phone, wanting to just check the time but you had a message waiting for you. ‘How long are you going to sit in the car? Come in.’
You blush all alone in the car.
You get out, taking your bag and lock the car as you head for the front door. He opens it before you can knock and then leans against the door frame. ‘How anxious are you right now?’ he asks with a sweet smile on those lips.
‘I don’t know why, but I am very anxious,’ you say honestly as you step closer to him.
He reaches for you and kisses you before he hugs you right there in the door. ‘It’s something different, don’t be so hard on yourself.’
He smells so good. ‘Show me your house,’ you say when the hug ends and he lets you inside and closes the door.
‘It’s just a house,’ he says. ‘This is the living room, through there is the kitchen. Stairs,’ he points and you follow closely behind. ‘My roommates live upstairs. In here is the office,’ he makes air quotes with his fingers. ‘But this is my room,’ he says standing in front of the door with a grin.
You laugh softly at him. ‘Please don’t say that this is where the magic happens.’
He snorts. ‘I would never.’
He opens the door and steps inside and you follow immediately looking around and taking in as much information as you can. The room was really big, having its own little living room there in the entrance where he had a grey couch and a table with his computer, a mounted TV. And on the far end was his bed.
‘This is my bathroom,’ he points to a door to his right.
You walk inside a little further and notice that he has put effort into the space. ‘My biggest fear was you had a bare mattress on the floor. With like just a lamp in the corner.’
He laughs loudly. ‘I have sheets.’
‘Thank god for that,’ you laugh in relief. He stands with his arms folded as he watches you look.
His room was extremely neat. Anime figurines arranged neatly, vinyl records on display. A keyboard, and many lamps and lights that create a unique and welcoming atmosphere.
You turn to look at him and he is looking at you with anticipation. ‘I am very pleasantly surprised.’
He smiles, showing his teeth. ‘Good.’
‘You are so neat, though,’ you add.
‘Mmm, a bit of a neat freak,’ he shrugs his shoulders.
You pull a face. ‘Does my place bother you? Because I am not this neat,’ you gesture to the entirety of the room.
‘It does not bother me,’ he shakes his head. ‘Put your bag down.’
You place it neatly next to couch, out of the way. ‘So, where are your roommates?’
‘One of them have gone home to Sweden for a few weeks. And the other one is on a work trip. It’s rare that they both are gone at the same time,’ he tells you.
‘Do they not know about…’ you think how to word it. ‘Your involvement with the agency?’
He drops his head shyly. ‘No, they don’t.’
‘I also haven’t told anyone in my life,’ you say.
‘Jesse knows about you, though. It was him I called when you had the migraine. So, while he does not know exactly what is going on, he knows you exist,’ he says running his hand through his hair a few times.
‘I don’t know if I should ask this, and feel free to not answer if you don’t want to, but how many times have you been someone’s Dom?’ you ask.
He shyly rubs his hands together. ‘I have never been someone’s Dom before you.’
‘Really?’ you ask, shocked by what he said.
‘Yeah, really,’ he nods.
You frown and sit down on his couch. ‘You are so good at it, though.’
He sits next to you. ‘I’m not.’
‘Yeah, you are,’ you turn towards him.
‘I try really hard,’ he says like that is all he can concede. ‘I want to be a good Dom for you.’
‘Oh, Noah,’ you say and you scoot closer and put your head on his shoulder. ‘I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky to have a Dom that knew what I needed like you do.’
He tilts his head to rest on yours and there is a comfortable silence between you. ‘Alright,’ he says after a while, like he was giving in to himself. ‘I spent so much time thinking about what you said last week. About how I pushed you gently.’
‘I remember,’ you say.
‘I am really bad at showing my feelings sometimes, and I don’t want that for us. So, I just want to tell you that it meant so much to me,’ he says and you could tell that he found it difficult to say. ‘I have a gift for you.’
You want to say many things, but you couldn’t decide on what before he was literally sitting on the floor in front of you. He reaches for a small black box on the TV stand and hands it to you.
‘Before you open it, let me explain,’ he says.
‘Okay,’ you say and you slip down off the couch to sit with him on the floor.
‘I really hope you don’t think that this is too soon. But I felt like maybe it was appropriate,’ he starts explaining.
You are still lost about what he was talking about so you just nodded encouragingly, trying to get your expression to say that you are listening. ‘I trust you.’
He raises his eyebrows and smiles. ‘Well, that’s the thing. I trust you, too and this is to symbolize that. His fingers twist together. He is nervous. ‘It’s a symbolic collar,’ he says looking at you shyly. ‘It is meant to represent trust and respect, I feel we have that.’
You have an immediate image in your head of what the collar could look like. ‘I completely agree,’ you say softly, wishing you could make him feel less nervous.
‘So, it’s not really a collar in the traditional sense. It’s a piece of jewellery that I put way too much thought into. Something I thought would suit you and would be practical for wearing every day. Because I would be honoured if you would wear it, at all.’
‘Can I look?’ you ask for permission and he simply nods. You open the box and inside you see a silver chain. It takes you a moment to recognise that it’s exactly the same as the chain he wears around his neck. The difference is that it’s a lot smaller, like it’s meant to be a bracelet. The clasp is also different. You are deeply moved by this. Your chest is already feeling tight with emotion. ‘This is…’
He leans closer and he takes it out of the box. ‘The clasp is adjustable, so you can either wear it as a bracelet or around your ankle. I was thinking that I’ve never really seen you wear jewellery, so I thought an anklet would not annoy you. But then I thought having something around your wrist could give you something to fidget with if you feel anxious.’
He rambles when he is nervous. ‘I love it,’ you whisper, already blinking at tears in your eyes. ‘It’s the same as your chain.’
His hand touches his own chain. ‘Yes, so we match,’ he says with a blush.
‘What does the collar mean? Besides the trust and respect, I mean.’ you ask, wanting to be clear on everything.
‘It means whatever we say it means. But for me, I guess it’s my way of saying that I am committed to this,’ he stares at you with those brown eyes.
You hold it in your hands and touch it and process his words. Then you look up at him and hold the bracelet to your heart.
He smiles softly at you, his whole face just so soft. ‘Does it mean you’ll accept?’
‘Yes, Noah,’ you say nodding with small movements.
‘Where do you want it, then I’ll put it on for you?’ he asks.
‘You choose,’ you say. You quickly wipe at your tears.
‘I think let’s put it on your wrist for now,’ he says and he carefully clasps it onto you when you hold out your arm and looks at it for a long time. Then he wipes your tears with his thumbs. ‘Thank you, my Peach.’
‘I must thank you,’ you say quickly. ‘This is seriously one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me. I cannot tell you how much I love it,’ you try to explain.
With his hand still on your cheek, he leans in and kisses you. And the kiss is deep and needy and makes the oxygen leave your chest. You feel it even in your toes. A lot of things are being communicated without words. You feel his gratefulness at your acceptance and you feel his relief. You feel the trust and respect that the ‘collar’ around your wrist represents. You try to tell him how much it meant to you via your lips touching his.
When the kiss ends and you see his face, you are sure you see some wateriness in his eyes too. You grab his hands and say, ‘I actually have a gift for you too. But mine is comically stupid now after this,’ you lift your wrist.
He huffs out a laugh. ‘I’m sure I’ll love it,’ he says his face hopeful.
You give him a look and then crawl over to your bag and open the zip. Uggggh. ‘Please don’t judge me too harshly.’
‘I won’t,’ he laughs. And then you hand him a value pack of three boxer briefs. He looks for a second or two and then giggles. You decide that it is one your favourite sounds in the world. ‘They have peach emojis on them.’
You nod, ‘You will not believe how excited I was when I saw them. I ordered them right after your birthday, they just took a moment to get here. So, it’s a belated happy birthday gift.’
‘I love it so much,’ he says as he opens the package and takes one of them out to see the full glory. ‘Thank you,’ he kisses you.
You feel a little bashful as he smiles at his gift. You touch your new adornment around your wrist and is overwhelmed by what it makes you feel.
‘Are you sure you’re alright with me asking you to stay the night? It feels risky for you to travel at night. I don’t know, maybe I’m paranoid, but it makes me feel uneasy,’ he says still playing with the boxers in his hands, but he was looking you in the eye.
‘No, it’s fine, especially now that I’ve seen you have a bed,’ you joke.
‘You are obviously free to change your mind, but I wanted you to know you’re welcome,’ he gets up from the floor and stands in front of you. ‘I am going to get some ice from the kitchen for your water.’ He kisses your forehead. ‘When I come back, you should please be kneeling on the floor right next to the bed. You’ll see I put a pillow down for your knees.’ He smiles innocently and then he leaves.
You feel a thrill and get up to quickly undress, get your clothes put away in your bag and you head over to kneel next to his bed. He has grey sheets, everything very tasteful. You wait for quite long – it shouldn’t take this long to get ice. But it gave you some time to breathe and settle down. Where you were gripping your wrists behind your back, you kept feeling the collar.
You hear him enter and you keep your eyes down. He takes a few short moments and then he is in front of you, fully naked. Gloriously naked and beautiful. You feel his energy while you are looking at his shins. ‘Tell me what the rules are, Peach.’
He hasn’t made any specific rules for the evening, so you go for the usual. ‘I have to ask for permission to come. I am not allowed to feel self-conscious. I have to tell you if I am not comfortable with something.’
‘Good girl. Stick out your tongue and look at me, please,’ he says.
You raise your eyebrows a little at his instruction and do as you are told. His arms are at his sides and his cock is hard and flexing in front of your face, but you are looking at his eyes.
He grabs his cock after a few seconds and lightly tap it on your tongue twice. ‘I don’t want you to do anything, just hold me in your mouth.’ He pushes himself into your mouth about halfway and stops. You close your lips around him and he stays there, you are focusing on breathing through your nose. He is heavy and firm on your tongue, twitching a little every now and then. ‘That’s right. You listen so well, just hold me there.’
You feel how your whole body responds to him. You skin feels alive with tingles even though nothing is touching you, your nipples are hard.
‘You have been keeping to the rule of nothing but me goes inside your pussy, right?’ he asks.
You hum in response and try to nod with small movements.
‘Fuck that turns me on so much,’ he says his voice low. ‘I’m going pull out,’ he slowly moves his hips backwards. ‘Please use your fingers and show me how wet you are?’
You use two fingers to gather some of the mess you’ve made.
‘Lovely,’ he says after looking. ‘Get on the bed, quickly, legs nice and wide.’
You get on the bed and move backwards to make room for him and he gets on his stomach his head between your legs. But he is touching your inner thighs and kissing at your lower stomach, he gets dangerously close to touching you where you want him, but he doesn’t. He works his way up. He is paying attention to your body, touching, stroking, squeezing, kissing. He is on your stomach, and you bite your tongue through your insecure feelings and let him.
‘This body,’ he groans. ‘I love this body and how you react when I touch you.’
When he reaches your chest, he takes his time exploring each one with the sweetest kisses and gentlest licks. He loves to test how his hands fit over your breasts, you’ve noticed. You are squirming with need underneath him.
‘Are you alright, baby?’ he asks after a while.
‘Yes, I am just impatient,’ you groan out while struggling to keep still for him.
‘Impatient for what?’ he asks.
‘For you to touch me, I’ve waited so long,’ you say, knowing your voice is bordering on whining.
‘I am touching you,’ he says emphasising his words with a lustful swirl of his tongue around a nipple.
‘I mean inside me. Inside my pussy,’ your hips cannot stop moving a little.
‘Soon, my sweet,’ he moves upwards and licks at your neck. Goosebumps explode when his tongue goes inside the shell of your ear.
While you wait for him to give you what you want, you take the opportunity to touch him too. You loved running your hands over his upper arms, where you could feel the lean muscle and how it connects to his bones in his shoulder. His skin was smooth. Your hand in his hair that was always soft and almost fluffy. You loved running a foot over his leg, where you could feel the hair.
‘I’m going to enter you now, and you are going to keep very still for me, alright? No hips,’ he smiles when he waits for you to nod in confirmation that you understood him.
While he guides himself inside you, you watch his face and how he scrunches his eyes shut when the head is inside and you squeeze him. You watch as his mouth hangs open in pleasure as he works himself deeper and then bites his bottom lip as he sinks all the way home. You let out a sigh of relief. ‘Finally,’ you whisper.
He exhales a small laugh. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he says as he rests his head next to yours. You hear and feel him breathe. ‘Do you feel how our bodies crave each other?’ he whispers.
‘I feel it,’ you say softly. ‘Can we move?’
‘No, baby. Just feel me all the way inside of you,’ he breathes.
‘I think I can feel you throb,’ you say ready to start begging.
‘Do you feel how I stretch you open?’ he asks.
‘Yes, it hurts a little bit,’ you say.
He pulls his head back. ‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ he says.
‘It always hurts a bit at first. I’ll get used to you again,’ you explain trying to put him at ease.
‘You’ll tell me if it’s too much?’ he says a frown between his eyebrows.
‘I will,’ you nod.
He leans down and kisses you slowly. His tongue dragging lazily against yours. Sucking on your lower lip. Just so gently taking you apart with the tenderness and care that he conveys with his lips. All while he is unmoving inside you. He ends off with kisses on your nose and then forehead. ‘I’m going to pull out now.’
He slowly pulls out and then sits back on his heels.
‘Can you come clean my cock, baby?’ he asks.
You are surprised by what he says, but willing. ‘With my mouth?’
He nods with an encouraging smile.
So, you get closer and take in the fact that he was shiny and wet, covered in you. You take his head in your mouth and suck him clean. It was a strangely appealing mixture of bitter and salty. He moans and rests his hand on your head in your hair as you concentrate on getting him clean.
‘How do we taste?’ he asks.
‘Good,’ you say looking up at him.
‘Come let me taste,’ he leans down to kiss you, running his tongue across yours like he wanted every bit of the taste he could get. ‘Alright, now lay back.’
When he buries his face between your legs, the first things he does is push his tongue as deeply into you as he could, wanting to taste.
‘That is so goddamn good,’ he pants. ‘Perfect combination.’
He spends time circling your clit with his tongue, sucking lightly and just devouring you.
‘I can’t decide what’s my favourite,’ he says as he positions his hips between your legs, holding his cock at the base to press it to your pussy and kind of flick it through your mess of your wetness and his saliva. ‘Eating your pussy, or being inside your pussy,’ he finishes his sentence.
You try to process his words.
‘But for now, I want to be inside, because I want to give you my cum. I want to put it really deep inside of your body,’ as he says this, he pushes inside again slowly. You are sure he is thinking about how you said it hurts a little.
You tilt your hips to accommodate him, wanting him as deep as what he is saying. ‘Please just stay inside me.’ You don’t want to say out loud that you feel whole when he is in you. Like every second without him feels like you are missing an essential part of your puzzle.
He starts thrusting shallowly, like he does when he doesn’t want to leave you, exactly what you need. You feel him so deep sending sensations through your body that are too much, its all-consuming. ‘Oh, baby,’ he almost sobs. ‘You feel so fucking perfect.’
You are grabbing onto him, trying to pull him closer in every sense. ‘Noah,’ in a whisper is all you can manage.
‘I want you to try and cum from just me inside,’ he manages to get out a sentence while not faltering in his thrusts. ‘Can we try?’
‘Yes,’ you moan out.
‘Good girl,’ he exhales. ‘Don’t worry about it, though. There is no pressure. We are just going to try.’ He comes almost to a stop to say this to you. He kisses you a few times.
He speeds up again, and its intense. You hear your bodies come together and his ragged breathing. ‘You feel so good,’ you say. You wanted to try and explain what you did not understand yourself. ‘I cannot put into words what it feels like when you are pushing into me.’
He slows again, to listen, to pay attention. ‘It’s alright, baby.’
‘It should make me cum, it really should. It feels amazing, it’s all over my body. Its all-consuming,’ you tell him, and it’s all true.
‘You don’t have to explain, baby,’ he is frowning.
‘I want you to understand that it’s not your fault. It’s not you doing anything wrong,’ you say, desperate for him to understand.
‘Oh, Peach,’ he smiles and kisses you. ‘Thank you, for saying that.’ He moves a little faster. ‘Now I need you to stop thinking. Just feel. Just concentrate on what you are feeling and stop analysing.’
‘I’ll try,’ and your voice hitches as he puts more energy into his movements again and it does not take long before you are clinging to his shoulders.
‘Oh, fuck, I’m going to cum,’ he grunts out. His hips slow and his thrusts are so deep and his head had dropped to your shoulder. ‘I am right against your cervix, do you feel me?’
‘Yes,’ you say, stroking his hair. ‘I feel you.’
‘I hope I’m not hurting you, are you alright?’ he says out of breath.
You kiss his temple. ‘No, baby, you’re not hurting me.’
‘Like this, we could not get any closer than we are,’ he says softly against your skin. ‘We belong to each other in this moment.’
‘We do,’ you agree and you try to hold him as close as you can.
After a few moments of him catching his breath, he starts grinding against you. ‘I’m still so hard,’ he says.
The way he moves, it stimulates you differently, not directly on your clit, but you feel something near it, or something you were not sure of. But it feels so good. ‘Right there, please. That feels so nice.’
‘I tried to not touch myself either this last week,’ he admits suddenly. ‘I have craved you all week. I am not going anywhere.’
‘What do you mean you tried?’ you ask.
‘I couldn’t control myself one night. I came my brains out thinking about how badly I wanted to bite you. Bite your nipples and your clit. Bite into the flesh of your tummy, your thighs,’ he says.
‘Oh my god,’ you moan. ‘Tell me more.’
‘It’s after I got the updated list from the agency,’ he says. ‘You were open to so many things.’
‘Noah, please can I cum?’ you ask.
‘Yes,’ he grunts. ‘I’m right behind you.’
The build was beautiful. You were right on the edge for so long, that when you finally went over, your back arches, your thighs shake. And Noah was growling into your neck for the second time before you were completely finished.
You felt emotional again to the point where you had to blink tears away. Noah laid down on top of you and he was breathing against your jaw. ‘Thank you,’ he says first.
You hug him close and wait while both of you catch your breaths.
‘I’m going to get up in a minute,’ he mumbles.
‘You don’t have to,’ you say softly.
‘I’m going to have to clean you up, I came in you twice,’ he explains.
‘Don’t worry about that,’ you try to get him to stop worrying. After a while you say, ‘The list from the agency? It was so much easier to be open to things if I know it will be you guiding me through them.’
He is quiet for a while. ‘I cannot tell you what that means to me.’
The two of you shower lazily, later on, quietly washing and touching and kissing under the warm spray. You get into bed and cuddle close when you fall asleep, and you notice that Noah wants to touch the collar around your arm, like it reminded him that you are his in a way.
The next morning, he cooks you breakfast and you play silly games on his X-box and by the time you get home it was past midday. You were already looking forward to next week.
