35. Do you wish you could ever start over?

If i’m being honest, no hahaha i dont wanna change anything in my life, i am who i am because of things that happened to me and somehow im proud of that

37. Ever had a near death experience?

No, i always try to stay on the safer side… boring i know hahaha

Mila Grace Factor. Diagnosed with Leukemia at the ripe age of 12 years old. They told me I wouldn't live past 20. I'm currently 17, meaning I have about three years left. I had to move to New Jersey this summer in order to continue with my chemo treatments. Leaving my friends back home was a tough ride, but having to come to a new school my senior year, along with everyone asking me if I'm okay, or why my hair is falling out is going to be even more of a struggle. That's why I want to try and keep it a secret. I want to isolate myself because knowing that one day I'm going to die doesn't only scare me, it makes me worry about the people who I'm going to leave. I can't hurt anyone else. Isolation is my key to surviving the rest of my life. I won't hurt anyone else. After years of meeting new people, having to explain to them what's going on, and leaving them, I've finally gotten the right answer. I need to learn to not love anyone else. I need to learn to make sure no one loves me. It would be a shame if I were to leave them behind. I can't die knowing I hurt someone. I already have my parents and my best friend back home, Gabby, to worry about. Right now, they're my number one priority. Now, tomorrow was the day I would be starting the end of my senior year. New Jersey was a long ways away from home, and I know everyone would be badgering me about why I moved away. But that's alright. I've got the whole story planned out. I moved because my dad got a new job, it pays really well, and it'll help with my college tuition when the time comes. I know it seems unreasonable to move so late in the school year, but we had to do it. We couldn't pass up the opportunity. And everything I would be saying was true, except the fact that it would pay for my college tuition. The money from my dad's new, and highly well-paying job, would contribute to the money we need to pay for my chemo treatments. It was now 9 pm, meaning I should take my pills I had been prescribed and head to bed, so I'm not worn out for school tomorrow.

-

My eyes flutter open, the sunlight from the window glaring through. I wasn't sure if I'd make it through this wretched school day, but I was determined to try my hardest. I took the second dose of my newly prescribed pills. I had to take them once every 6 hours, meaning I would have to take one again at 12 today. All of my teachers and the nurse knew about my cancer, and how I didn't want anyone to know. I had met the staff all before on my tour around the school. It was when they had a teachers workshop, so none of the students had been there.

I put on my clothes and left my thinned hair down. I headed down the long staircase of our newly bought house. My parents had made me breakfast and my dad had already left the door for work. My mom was at the kitchen table drinking her coffee. She noticed me come down the stairs and smiled widely at me, giving me the usual "good morning, sunshine" and motioning to the food that was on the table.

"Did you remember to take your pills, sweetheart?" My mom asks, standing up in order to put her mug in the sink. I nod my head yes and continue to eat. I finish the food and go to grab my backpack with the few notebooks I had. I pulled the yellow sheet of paper out that had my new schedule and held onto it, zipping my backpack up and waiting for my mom to put her shoes on so she can drive me to school.