@doktorwest said: if you wanted to die, why didn't you?
' 'CAUSE IT WOULDN'T'A BEEN THAT SIMPLE. ' of this, ash is certain; death had come calling for the others far too soon for it to have put them out of their misery. he leans back in his seat, dragging a hand down his face before he finally meets the doctor's inquisitive gaze. ' killing us wasn't the worst that those things— the deadites— could do to us, and they were hellbent on provin' it. ' he'd seen it himself, he'd felt it, that all-consuming terror as something slammed itself into his body, thrashing and clawing and violent as it fought not just to subdue him, but to consume him. he could not see beyond the thick fog that suffocated him, could not hear beyond that hideous laughter, could not feel beyond indescribable agony. it had delighted in his suffering, would've been pleased to cling to what shreds of him were left for as long as it could've, forcing him to endure and endure and endure. he doesn't know what would've happened had the sun stayed hidden, if its rays hadn't punched holes through the inky darkness that bound him.
ash tries not to think about it.
' to give up and let them kill me meant handing my soul over on a silver platter. no thanks! besides, ' he continues, voice becoming low and distant, ' one of us had to make it outta there. all that couldn't'a been for nothing. i just-- y'know, i never thought it'd be me. ' it's quiet, suddenly, too quiet; the air around him seems to stiffen at the admission. ash clears his throat a bit, tries to shrug it off with a wry smile. ' i mean, from the jump, i was a total coward. when shit hit the fan, i just froze. scotty, though . . . ' gaze drops to the mug in his hand, the abyss of stale coffee within reflecting his grief. ' yeah, scotty was an asshole, but if he had just listened instead of stormin' out like that . . . well. i really do think he would'a made it. ' guys like that are meant to. ' selfish bastard had what it took. all i had was luck. '
