I did not join Peace Corps to "do" development. When one of my college professors advised me not to join Peace Corps to "do" development, but to focus on personal growth, she hit the nail on the head. I came here to learn, about myself and the world. I didn't come to "do" development, although I did come to learn more about this thing that we call international development. I've learned a lot already - about good intentions, about the shells of unfinished buildings, and development fatigue.
And that feels really selfish sometimes. I think I would have a lot more knowledge and skills to share with my community if I worked for twenty years before coming here. It feels selfish to come here right after college. On the other hand, in twenty years it would be significantly more difficult to take a two-year break from life and family in the U.S. It would be much more of a sacrifice to give up two years of a mid-career salary than to give up my earning potential for the first two years after undergrad. Plus, I don't think I'll ever be more flexible, open-minded and willing to learn and listen to my community. I like to think I'll be just as curious in twenty years as I am now, but it's definitely easier to truly learn from my community when learning is what I've been doing for the last fifteen or so years of my life. Not to mention the medical clearance process was difficult enough to pass as a healthy twenty-something.
Peace Corps' first goal is to "do" development, but it's second and third goal surround cultural exchange and cross-cultural friendship. And that part of my "work" as a PCV I take little philosophical issue with, and find very easy to do here. Is Peace Corps an effective way to accomplish "development"? No. But that doesn't mean that PCVs don't have positive impacts in their community. There are friendships and mentoring relationships forged that last far beyond two years of service. There are examples of projects that are community-initiated and do an amazing job of building local capacity. But as far as effectiveness goes,
So I feel selfish here. A lot. I feel like my community has welcomed me with open arms, and that all I do is hang out with them and talk to their kids about soil health and gardening. But I think back to what one of my homologues said after seeing me sell soja all afternoon at the marché. "For you, we really are no different from you." And if all I do in my two years here is act in a way that really shows that to my community, that this privileged white American really believes she has more to learn  than she has to "teach," that will be work. And work worth doing.
