I would be lying if I didn't tell you it's been a struggle. Problems Hudson never had before he now has. We haven't walked him further than the end of the driveway in months. Slowly we are starting to put our life with him back together. Some days for Hudson are better than others, some days my patience with Hudson is greater than others, but sometimes I start to see that there can be a light at the end of this.

On the way to our new home.

What we have done to help Hudson's life return to "normal": 1. Took him to Penn Vet so we can get him the medication he needs from someone who knows more about animal behavior than our local vet. 2. Hudson went back on Prozac in addition to his Buspirone (which his dose of has tripled since September.) 3. Hired a dog walker - not for walks but for a mid-day 15 minute run around the yard to help him get some built up angst out. 4. Slowly, very very slowly, begun to retrain him to walk on a leash/ function outside. 5. Bought white noise machines. These have been a godsend, they keep him from hearing our loud neighbors, and even though he still barks when they enter and leave the building it's the only time he barks at them. 6. Heavily screened our new roommates to make sure they got along well with Hudson and would aid in giving him a positive environment to thrive in.

At Penn Vet

There have been tiny improvements in how Hudson is, he no longer barks for 45 minutes straight when someone enters and exits the apartment. We sleep full nights every night without him freaking out at every little noise, followed by lengthy time of pacing and whining. He has started to learn how to redirect his excitement to toys again (something he was very good at before his breakdown.) He even let four strangers stand in our kitchen, two of which refused to pet him, and didn't freak out at them or bark. His body language is starting to relax, and my wiggly boy is peaking through.

With one of his new roommates.

We still have many hurdles to overcome. He can't ride in a car anymore without barking at people who walk past. He has yet to even see a someone while walking outside, even if they are far away. He has developed that habit of demand barking for attention when he is uncomfortable and unsure of a situation or what he should be doing. Not to mention, relearning to walk on a leash, dog park visits, and seeing other dogs again. There are hours and months worth re-desensitization ahead of us. 

The first step in us retraining him to function in public again is getting him to a place where he isn't prone to getting worked up, we still haven't found the right dosage of his medication to make that happen. So it's been very much a testing and waiting game. We will be raising his dose of Prozac starting tomorrow, and adding either Xanax or Valium for when we know something scary is going to happen ie. car rides, neighbors throwing a party (this happens way too often for him), the upcoming summer holiday's, the super coming over to fix something, etc. Hopefully with the change of dosage and supplemental medications we can allow Hudson to enjoy and experience just being a dog.

Hudson looking out over his new backyard.

I’ve been putting this post off for months, partially because it’s hard to admit the failures, and partially because I haven’t really been ready to talk about it yet. 

On December 18th, a DINOS owners biggest fear happened, everything we've worked so hard to avoid through training and management. It’s hard to not still be angry about it - things happen, but I keep beating myself up. How could I have explained how to manage Hudson better to my roommates? Why didn’t I say something when I knew that that particular behavior was going on? Was it really naivety to assume they only let Hudson travel in the hallway without being walked by his collar when I was home and right there to catch him?

Hudson and I lived in a three bedroom classic NYC railroad tenement apartment with three roommates. Two of them lived in the room at the end of the railroad. Those familiar with railroad apartments will know that sometimes the fastest way (and in this situation due to apartment set up the ONLY way) to get from the last bedroom to the kitchen is to exit into the public hallway, and reenter through the front door. On this particular day, from what I have pieced together from both my super/landlord and my roommates, Hudson was hanging out with the roommates who were home at the end of the railroad. He started barking at the door to the hallway (something he does often when he wants to re-enter the apartment) - it’s hard for me to imagine this playing out without hearing his “I’m terrified someone is in the hallway bark”, which differs greatly from his “I want to go out” bark. Maybe I’m the only one who hears a difference? Either way, the door was opened for him to the hallway to return to the Kitchen... but he didn’t. My super was at the bottom of the stairs fixing a broken door.

I have since gotten varying accounts of what happened next, but the only thing I can be certain of is the moment Hudson saw the super using a drill in his apartment stairwell his ENTIRE world fell apart. Everyone was okay, the super was shaken, my landlord wanted “the dog” out before “he hurt someone”. So we moved.

I want to make it clear that we did not move because my landlord wanted the dog out, we moved because I had no choice. Within the first 24 hours it was made very clear that Hudson could no longer function in the apartment building. He paced and whined and barked all night. He was a visible mess. Walking him was impossible. We could not stay.

Hudson finally sleeping in Jersey

The trainer we have been working on Hudson with urged me to get him out of the city before he developed some serious PTSD. Saturday morning my partner and I went to look at an apartment that fit what we needed perfectly (quiet block, max 2 apartments, yard, rent from owner, dog friendly) and I put down a deposit, 5pm that evening we were at my parents house in the suburbs. Within 48 hours of arriving in Jersey, we had a new lease signed Hudson was finally starting to relax. We got seriously lucky. For the first few days we had two options: 1. Find Hudson a new home 2. Find us a new home I’m beyond grateful that we were able to find a new home so quickly, and that I had the resources to make it possible. It was not looking good for those first few days. It was a tough two months moving and finding roommates, but it was worth it to keep Hudson.

Hudson and my sister during his 2 week suburban vacation.