#docappointments

Y'all. Long day for the jellybean and mom. Had to go in to see her cardiologist today after she developed a cough, lowered oxygen sats, and in general has just been really tired and fussy.

After a long afternoon at the hospital getting an echo, X-rays, lab draws, an ekg, and all the regular appointment stuff, her doc thinks it's some kind of virus. So she got swabbed for cultures and we'll learn more later. Hopefully nothing too major, but even small stuff has the capability to really knock her out with her heart condition.

It's more than heartbreaking to hear Cora cry and scream through each of these procedures. One, because it's awful when she's upset/confused/hurting, and two, because it's the opposite of our normal chill and happy little baby. Not to mention the part where she hasn't really taken a pacifier or a bottle in weeks since developing thrush (thanks antibiotics), and there's almost nothing that comforts her aside from snuggles, swinging, and firm back pats. None of which can happen in this scenario.

Also, it is exhausting as a parent to go though all that with her. Not being able to make things better for her, and not being able to make things easier for the sonographers, X-ray techs, phlebotomists, nurses, etc. Even though I know it's no ones fault, it's hard to fight that southern lady mom shame that makes you think you have to apologize for everything and ignore the fact that it's hard on you, too, and that you'll be going back for more appointments next week, if not before.

Sigh.

So, Steve has Cora with him at a board meeting (🙌), and I am taking a break and getting my hair done. Because post-partum frumpy dump feelings are a real thing. Also, I'd like to raise a glass to the folks at 140 Salon for serving wine to their clients.

Today, Cora spent nearly 5 hours being hauled all over Duke Hospital seeing her cardiologist, having a peds surgery check in for her G-tube, getting X-rays and an echo, and having blood drawn for labs. All after skipping feeds in preparation for an upper GI scan and feeling generally cranky and crappy due to an irritated G-tube button site, terrible reflux, and a fun case of thrush that's developed after being on a few antibiotics. And then mom made her go to Walgreens to pick up prescriptions and a new formula.

And still, she voted! **

Kid, you're my hero.