I feel like you and I need to be friends after your personal college update. I was sexiled the night before classes started. This is my first time at a university too, so I had no idea how to handle it. When I finally came back, they had left a condom in the toilet, and dude stayed in her bed all night!! I woke him up by farting the next morning and he bailed. University and I are off to a bad start...
Friendship accepted! (:
While it's not my first year in college, it is the first time I have been sexiled. I walked in on my roommate and her boyfriend and luckily the room was dark enough that I couldn't see anything, and she has the top bunk, which I am thankful for (I can't imagine her having the bottom bunk and walking in on her-gah!). My roommate is actually dating a guy that I turned down (for a relationship) last year, so the situation was even more awkward. I talked to my roommate about the awkwardness of what happened and we agreed to put a specific symbol on the whiteboard on our door to let the other know that there was a guy in the room and that we needed to either knock and wait to be cleared to come back inside or come back later when the symbol was erased. (Our 'guy alert' symbol was the sign of the Deathly Hallows from Harry Potter.)
My advice is to talk to your roommate about having guys over-when they can and can't have them in your room, when they are allowed to spend the night, courtesies the guest(s) should have when visiting your dorm room. For me, my roommate and I only have one class Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I told her (for now) I'm okay with her having her boyfriend over Monday and Wednesday nights (she will go home most weekends), but he can only spend the night on Fridays or Saturdays. I'm also going to tell her that I'm only comfortable with her having her BF spend the night once a week. Compromise is important, but when your roommate's romantic life interferes with your studying and your education, your education is top priority. You're paying to learn and get an education, not to be sexiled from your own dorm room. If your roommate doesn't want to compromise, you can always talk to your RA (Resident Advisor) about the situation.
