#do u

idk this kinda feels like some sorta breaking point, but i dont think i can do this anymore

(to make one thing clear, though,, THEYRE GOOD PEOPLE, just not people for me)

every interaction I have with them, though, I feel terrible afterwards. ive had (very very few) interactions where ive left, and looked back, and seen barely anything wrong with what happened, like the overthinking part of my head finally shut up for once, cause they were so nice and actually saw me

but when im with specific friends, I feel nice, and have fun for a fleeting moment, then they just,, ignore me for however long after that. AND I GET IT‼️‼️ theyre introverted, they have social batteries like anyone else, they get overwhelmed, tired, pushed harder by their parents, or just not in the mood to talk to me personally,, but its every single time, im around, theyre like this. i cant keep doing this to myself,, I can't keep,,, letting myself get hurt, and that hurts because theyre good, nice people who dont deserve to get cut off by someone for a, relatively stupid reason like this

but (for example) yesterday, their dog was growling at us [me, ato] and they didn't do anything,, despite one of them very specifically knowing im afraid of dogs—and for reference, half the time they were all doing somwthing without us (WHICH IM NOT SAYING THEY HAD TO, invite us) in the other room,, while our mom had surgery,

I mean i figured theyd be more sympathetic, but thats on me for assuming (ming reference here)

anyway,, woag,, u read all of that 🫵🫵🤨❓️

uh ummmmm mmmmm have a,,,