#dnr order

i'll go around tonight

hold my broken heart close

and breathe

hold the wound closed

and let the body encapsulate

the bullet whole

it might take years to lead to

leeched lead

and maybe i will die

but it is not tonight

stand in the wake

until the levees break

i am awash as i lay awake

beneath

pull the stitch through

every trembling wound

i am professing

i don't care for

professions

your confessions

meant nothing after all

your words were emptier

than my bankrupt

heart

bled out on the carpets

you had to burn out back

i was buried beneath

the rug

it's finally enough

i confess, it still hurts

it's more than you deserve

all the best of me is at the rest

of me

the wake of me was held

your arms let me go

take no responsibility

for nothing you don't want to

and we walked away when i said

look to your bloody hands

and i will look to mine

and you said:

nobody's thinking like you

the world doesn't work like

that

and our hearts fell

flat

do

not

go

back

Like I look back to some of the things I would before that period and it's amazing to me like wow I was really out here doing stuff and then all that happened and now I can barely string together a thought

Actions Seek to Subjugate your Choices to Dogma

This column first appeared in the San Antonio Express-News and other Hearst Newspapers on September 14, 2018.

Dear Mr. Premack: I am 50 and ready to prepare my estate plan and medical directives. I have strong opinions about artificial life support. I do not want any extraordinary or artificial methods used to prolong the process of my death if I have a terminal illness and cannot communicate at…

This column first appeared in the San Antonio Express News on July 31, 2017.

Dear Mr. Premack: The Texas Legislature is in special session, and I saw a report that the Senate has passed a bill to regulate Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders. How does the bill change existing law, and what impact could it have on those of us who have signed Medical Powers of Attorneys, Directives to Physicians and Out…

It’s not dumb, nonnie! It doesn’t come up often in life, so a lot of people don’t really know how DNRs work.

In medicine, a DNR is a “do not resuscitate” order. It’s a legal imperative that basically says if the patient stops breathing or their heart stops, the doctors should do nothing to resuscitate them. It’s commonly associated with people in hospice (end of life care), the elderly, and people with terminal illnesses. 

Some people think that this is akin to assisted suicide, but a DNR usually is ordered after the patient has been either informed of all other medical options or have no other options for treatment. Asking for a DNR can also make a patient feel more in control of their illness and body. 

I can’t really find what are the legal consequences for ignoring a DNR order, but it’s quite easy to see how ignoring one can be damaging to the patient’s bodily autonomy and even mental health. If someone is ready to die, another person cannot just refuse their decision over their own life and demand they keep living in medically unfit circumstances. 

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I have not been in medical school. I am taking this information from experiences in my dad’s oncology clinic and general knowledge of being in a family that’s 65% doctors.