#dk imagines

ding

You pick up your phone, seeing a DM notification from Twitter. As you open the app you smile — it's exactly who you hoped would be messaging you.

@/xcalibur_: wowwww you look amazing in the new vid 😍

It's Nico — one of your mutuals. Due to the nature of the content you put out, and the fact that you choose to remain anonymous online — posting everything under a pseudonym, Berrie — you are constantly having to balance casually flirting with other adult content creators to build your network while also not getting too close to anybody. It's good business, and also for your own safety. But you and Nico have followed each other for a few months now, and he seems like a genuinely sweet guy. It also doesn't help that he is outrageously hot, and has the prettiest cock you've ever seen. You should probably be ashamed by how many times you've cum to his videos, but shame surrounding sex is something you left behind a long time ago.

@/strawberriebaby: thanks love😘 your new pics are sooo hot btw @/xcalibur_: thank you gorgeous ;) i didn't think the bulge pics would be so popular tbh but people seem to love it @/strawberriebaby: it's the gray sweatpants babe, that'll drive any girl crazy in a heartbeat @/xcalibur_: that's good to know, i'll keep that in mind 😏 hey btw, if you ever want any free personalized content from me lmk. i've cum to your videos so many times, so i definitely owe you haha

That last sentence makes your stomach do an excited flip. Sure, you post porn on Twitter. Of course other people are going to be jerking it to your videos. But something about hearing it from him specifically is really fucking hot.

@/strawberriebaby: that's crazy bc i cum to YOUR videos all the time too 🥰 @/xcalibur_: wow, what an honor to hear that from my favorite account holy shit 😍 @/strawberriebaby: lol i'll bet you say that to everyone @/xcalibur_: nope, not at all. just you baby ❤️ @/strawberriebaby: alright then, prove it. send me a video of you jerking off right now 😊 @/xcalibur_: say less 🫡

A proud grin creeps across your face. Your thighs instinctively squeeze together, excitement flooding your senses at the prospect of receiving a personal video from Nico. Figuring you'd give him a few minutes, you decide to get up and start some laundry in the meantime. By the time you've sorted your clothes and started the first load in the washer, you already have a new DM in your notifications.

Excitedly you make your way to your bedroom, figuring you might as well enjoy yourself as you watch. Plopping onto your bed, you open Twitter and click on your chat with Nico. Sure enough, you are greeted with a seven minute-long video attachment, with a blurry image of what appears to be his bulge in the thumbnail, and an accompanying message that simply says for my favorite girl❤️.

You click play, immediately being greeted with soft moans from behind the camera as you watch him stroke himself through his sweatpants, the thick bulge heavy beneath his grasp. He's already growing hard, the soft fabric doing little to hide the shape of his cock as he touches himself, the delicate sighs escaping his lips sounding whiny already. You feel a rush of heat in your core as you watch him; he may be fully clothed still, but that doesn't stop your mouth from watering at the salacious sight.

Before long he has a full-blown erection; reaching into his pants, he takes his length in his hand, letting out a hiss at the sensation. Slipping the waistband of his sweats down he frees it from the confines of his underwear, revealing the thick, veiny shaft you've committed to memory at this point. He begins to jerk himself off, slow, measured strokes as he grips his cock tightly in his fist.

"F-fuck," you hear him groan from behind the camera. "I'm so fucking horny right now."

Grinning, you slip out of your pants with one hand, the other holding your phone as your eyes remain fixed on the pretty cock on its screen. You recline into your pillows, lightly dragging your fingertips over your pussy, discovering yourself to be much wetter than you expected. You collect your pooled arousal and spread it over your clit, sighing softly as your fingers graze the sensitive bud.

"Feels so good," he whines. "Wish it was your mouth, baby. Fuck…"

He begins to stroke himself faster now, his hand pumping up and down his length with urgent need. You slip your fingers into your pussy, fucking yourself as you watch; you start slow, but the pitiful sounds coming out of him soon have your hand flying as fast as his is. You feel like you could cum already, but you want to wait until he does. Your stomach tightens as you picture the savory sight of that in your head; checking the timestamp on the video, you're about halfway through. Just a few more minutes to go. The time seems to pass at a painfully slow pace, forcing you to pause more than once, taking the time to catch your breath as you watch Nico getting himself off with uninhibited pleasure. Your clit throbs, aching for the release of your orgasm. Finally, his whimpers begin to turn utterly pathetic — sharp cries and loud moans escaping him — and you can tell he's about to cum. Thank god, you think to yourself. You don't know how much longer you can wait.

You watch the shiny dribble of precum drip down the head of his cock, which is turning an angry shade of red as his climax begins to overtake him.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," he cries. He vigorously pumps his length, cock throbbing in his grasp, until finally — he releases. With a vulgar groan white ropes of cum spurt from his tip, shooting into the air before falling onto his hand and stomach. The sight is enough to send you over the edge — your palm presses into your clit as your fingers fuck into your cunt, and you cum too. Your head falls back, eyes tearing up at the bursts of pleasure rolling through your body, but you don't take them off the screen for a second. You ride out your high, chest heaving with deep breaths as you stare at the delicious mess of cum all over Nico.

As you drift back down to earth, you watch as he lets go of his spent cock; it twitches against his stomach as he shows off his cum-coated hand, the sticky white substance dripping all over his fingers and the silver ring on his pinky. You've seen his hands plenty of times by now, and you've always thought they were exceptionally pretty. However, for some reason in this moment they seem… familiar. His long thick fingers, his pretty nails, and also the ring, too. You swear you've seen it somewhere before. You figure it's just from watching so many of his videos, but something in the back of your mind is telling you otherwise. But your mind is spinning, and it's hard to think straight right now anyway, so you push that thought aside.

You take a picture of your soaked cunt and DM it back to him.

@/strawberriebaby: that was so fucking hot, thank youuu 😘

Your phone dings as he replies immediately.

@/xcalibur_: fuck, need that pussy so bad

Maybe it's just the high from your orgasm, but his message practically has you swooning. The typing bubble pops up again right away. You watch him type for a minute, then stop. It pops up again a few moments later. You wait patiently to see what he has to say, and finally you receive another message.

@/xcalibur_: i'm not sure if you're open to collabs, so no pressure at all, but if you're ever interested lmk ;) more than willing to travel for u lol

Your heart nearly skips a beat. You've had other creators ask to collab before, but you've politely turned them all down. It's something you've definitely considered, but you don't want to do it with just anybody. It would have to be with the right person — and honestly, Nico would be perfect for the job.

@/strawberriebaby: i've never done one before, but i've been considering it tbh👀 i'm kinda nervous about it though @/xcalibur_: that's totally fair, it's a big ask! i've also never done one, mostly for privacy reasons. might end my career if anybody finds out i do this lol @/strawberriebaby: i'm a freelance artist, so that matters less for me haha. i'm just mostly nervous because i've never done a face reveal before @/xcalibur_: you wouldn't have to do one if you don't want! @/strawberriebaby: oh yeah, i mean more like… what if i met somebody irl and they weren't into me :/ @/xcalibur_: i can guarantee that won't happen if we meet, i promise :) @/strawberriebaby: i'm just kind of an awkward person 😭 @/xcalibur_: that doesn't matter to me. you're hot and i'm very into you 🙂‍↕️ @/strawberriebaby: you haven't even seen my face though!! @/xcalibur_: but i know you're fucking beautiful. and i'm not just saying that!

This conversation is a lot flirtier than you usually have with people on Twitter, even your mutuals that you know fairly well. Normally if a man was talking to you like this, you would just assume it's business as usual, just another stranger on the internet trying to get into your pants. But Nico is… different. Maybe you're delusional — maybe he talks like this to everyone he wants to fuck and you're not special. But your instinct tells you he's being genuine.

@/strawberriebaby: you're crazy, but fortunately i'm into that lol @/xcalibur_: that's great news for me😌 but fr, if you're ever in the bay area hit me up. i'll clear my fucking schedule @/strawberriebaby: wait, you're in the bay area?? @/xcalibur_: born and raised! @/strawberriebaby: no fucking way. i'm also in the bay area! @/xcalibur_: omg @/xcalibur_: not to jump the gun but this might be destiny idk @/strawberriebaby: well, one way to find out @/xcalibur_: does this mean you want to collab :) @/strawberriebaby: let me sleep on it, but good chance the answer might be yes @/xcalibur_: YAYYYYY @/xcalibur_: i mean uh, yeah that's cool. totally a good business decision. @/strawberriebaby: oh, totally, for sure. well i have to go now, i'm meeting a friend for dinner. pleasure doing business with you ;) @/xcalibur_: you too babe 😘 enjoy your dinner!

Between your orgasm and your conversation with Nico, you're feeling very hot and bothered — so you decide to take a quick shower. You feel much better afterward; you get ready and head out to meet your friend, and you end up having a really nice night. But you'd be lying if you said you didn't spend the whole rest of the evening with thoughts of your potential collab lingering in the back of your mind.

On Saturday, you have a gig as a wedding photographer — one of the many hats you wear. The wedding isn't until the afternoon, but you're supposed to be there by 11am to get set up and run through the schedule with the wedding planner. You're running slightly behind, but you're still on time — as long as you leave by 10:30, you'll be fine.

At 10:25am you are on your way out of your apartment. As you lock the door behind you, you spot a figure out of the corner of your eye approaching from down the hallway. Turning your head, you see that it's your neighbor, Seokmin.

"Hey y/n!" he tells you cheerfully. "Haven't seen you in a minute!"

Seokmin lives down the hall from you, so you run into him fairly frequently in passing. You usually don't go out of your way to talk to other people in your building outside of polite small talk, and you don't know Seokmin all that well truthfully. You pretty much only know that he's a lawyer, and apparently a pretty good one at that — but with his gregarious nature and bright smile, he's easily one of the nicest people you've ever met.

"Hey Seokmin," you smile back, giving him a small wave. "Yeah, I've been working odd jobs lately, so my schedule is kind of all over the place."

Seokmin reaches his front door. Still facing you, he rummages around in his bag, presumably for his keys.

"Nice, where are you off to today?"

"Photography gig," you answer. "I'm working a wedding."

"Oh, fun!" he beams at you, his arm still digging around the bottom of his bag. Finally, his hand closes around the small cluster of metal; he pulls the keys out, turning to the door to raising his hand to the lock. As he does so, you notice a silver ring around his pinky, and suddenly you realize where you've seen this exact same hand before.

Your eyes widen, staring at Seokmin's hand, looking for anything to tell you you're wrong, that can't be the same hand… You blink, hoping you're just imagining things — but deep down you know your eyes do not deceive you.

Seokmin peers back at you, about to say something else, but you look like you've seen a ghost.

"Are you okay?" he asks, slightly concerned.

"I just— I forgot something," you say in a panic, plastering a faux smile on your face. You spin on your heel and rush back into your apartment before he can ask any more questions. "Catch you later!"

"Bye!" Seokmin shouts after you. He turns and enters his apartment, not thinking anything of it.

You, however, are now spiraling. You pace around your apartment as you take your phone out and open Twitter, scrolling to your DMs with Nico and playing back the video he sent you the other night. You fast forward to the end, stopping when you see his cum-coated hand in frame. Without a doubt, it looks just like Seokmin's. You might've been able to convince yourself that they just look similar, that there's no chance in hell they belong to the same person — but the presence of the identical ring makes it undeniable.

"What the fuck," you mutter under your breath, trying to process this information. Sure, Seokmin is objectively an attractive man — but you've never thought of him like that before. But the more you think about it, the way Nico talks and his amicable, sweet nature match Seokmin's demeanor perfectly. And he does have the exact same build you've seen fully nude from the shoulders down dozens of times on your phone screen.

But you don't have time to stand here and freak out about this right now. You have to get to work. You peek out your peephole, just to make sure he's not still out there for any reason, but the hallway is vacant. You lock the door behind you and make your exit as quickly as possible.

Fortunately, the wedding setup and the ceremony itself keep you busy enough to keep your mind off the fact that Nico is your literal neighbor. After the reception ends, you head home, but decide to stop at the CVS on your way back. You grab the couple items you need from your list and head to check out, but on your way to the register you pass the condom section. You stop for a second; you do have a box at home already, but Nico/Seokmin's video drifts to the front of your mind, reminding you just how fucking huge his cock is.

Stop it, you think to yourself. You didn't even say you'd collab with him yet. Do you even want to do that now that you know he's been living across the hall from you this whole time?? But you know in your heart that the answer is a resounding yes.

With a sigh, you grab a box of XL condoms off the shelf and toss it in your basket.

You spend the whole evening trying not to think about Seokmin, to no avail. You even put on Howl's Moving Castle, hoping that your favorite movie will be a good distraction, but even that isn't enough to get your mind of that fucking video he sent you. You can't even blame him, because you're the one who asked him to send it in the first place.

Idiot, you chastise yourself. He did say he was also in the Bay Area, but so are seven million other people; never in your wildest dreams would you have expected him to live in your exact building — because what are the fucking odds of that? But regardless, it's true, and now you have to figure out what the hell you are going to do about it. You pretty much have two options: tell him you know, or pretend like you don't. Neither one is very good — the latter would probably be the smarter option, but it doesn't change the fact that you still want to hit like so bad.

Your phone buzzes. Looking down, you see a DM from Nico pop up in your notifications.

"Speak of the devil…" you mumble to yourself. You pick up the phone and open it to his message.

@/xcalibur_: heyyyy cutie ❤️ how was your day?

You stare at the screen for a minute, deliberating, but eventually you decide to respond.

@/strawberriebaby: honestly i had such a weird fucking day 😭 @/xcalibur_: oh no! what happened? (if you don't mind me asking) @/strawberriebaby: nothing bad, just… weird. can i ask you something? @/xcalibur_: of course baby @/strawberriebaby: what would you do if i said i think we might know each other irl?

Your heart races as you hit send. You have no idea how he's going to respond, but you decide fuck it. Worst case scenario it'll make things so awkward you will have to move, but that's a problem for later. You watch the typing bubble anxiously as you await his reply.

@/xcalibur_: wait, seriously? how so? @/strawberriebaby: i recognized your ring in the video. @/xcalibur_: i'm sure a lot of guys have a ring like mine tho, maybe it just looks similar to someone you know? @/strawberriebaby: that's what i was thinking. but then i saw you in the hallway this morning when i was on my way to work

The typing bubble does not pop up again. A few minutes pass, and you start to wonder if you've royally fucked up — but then you hear a knock at your front door.

You get up and walk over to the peephole, peering out to see none other than Seokmin standing there, wearing grey sweatpants and a tight black t-shirt that puts his thick biceps on full display. You open the door, coming face to face with him; you stare at each other for a moment, neither of you knowing what to say.

"You…" he finally starts, but you just grab him by the wrist and pull him inside. Door shutting behind him, you are now alone together, standing far to close to one another in the entryway of your home.

"It is you," he says in a hushed tone, staring at you with sparkling brown eyes. "You're Berrie." You nod, locking eyes with him, making your stomach do a nervous flip.

"And you're Nico," you reply softly. He nods back, a bewildered look coloring his face.

"This is crazy," he laughs incredulously. "I've always thought you were so pretty, but I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything."

"Well, turns out we've already seen each other naked," you point out. He lets out a laugh.

"Yeah, I suppose so…"

You stare at each other for a moment, the tension in the room turning palpable.

"Well, my offer still stands, you know," he says, suddenly turning a bit flushed. "About the collab. If you want."

"Do you mean… right now?" you ask, taking a step forward.

"Yeah," he whispers, also stepping forward to bridge the gap between the two of you. "I do." Slowly he raises his right hand, cradling your cheek in his palm as he holds your face, the metal of his ring cool against your cheek. You let out a soft gasp; your hands drift to his torso, pressing them against his muscular abs, sliding them up across his chest before you take his shirt in your fists, yanking him toward you closer still.

"Kiss me," you tell him, and without a moment of hesitation his lips are crashing into yours.

His hand drifts from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling your face into his so he can kiss you with unrestrained vigor. His other hand drifts to your waist, rubbing your hip slowly as he tastes you, his lips tugging on yours in sheer desperation. You kiss him back, grabbing him by his sides as you press your body into him.

"Fuck," he grumbles, barely taking his lips off you as he grabs your ass, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh."You're so perfect."

The stiffening in his pants is undeniable, pressing against your stomach as he holds you close. You want nothing more than to rip your clothes off and throw yourself at him, but you know that teasing him for a bit first would be enticing for the both of you — and you want to savor this.

You break the kiss, staring up at him sweetly, before you take his hand in yours and start pulling him toward your bedroom.

"C'mon," you say, looking back at him as you tug him along. He grins, gazing at you excitedly at he eagerly follows. Entering your room, he lets out a chuckle.

"Wow, so this is where the magic happens, huh?" he asks, gesturing at your ring light and tripod set up at the foot of your bed.

"Sure is," you smile. "I was planning on filming tonight, let me move this real quick—"

"Wait," Seokmin says, grabbing hold of your wrist. You turn to face him again, his soft brown eyes staring at you lustfully. "You should go ahead and film."

"It's okay, I can do it tomorrow—" you start, but he grabs you by the chin, tilting your face up to his so he can kiss you again.

"I want to watch," he mutters into your lips. A smile spreads across your face.

"Okay," you beam at him.

Grabbing your phone, you set it up on the tripod, the video camera open and ready. You strip your clothes off as you make your way over to your bed, plopping into the center and making yourself comfortable. You spread your legs, revealing your bare pussy, already glimmering with arousal in the dim lighting.

"Ready?" Seokmin asks, his finger hovering above the record button.

"More than," you grin.

He taps the button, and the video begins.

Slowly you slide your hand down your body, dipping your fingers into your cunt, pulling them out again to show off the stick mess of juices dripping out of you. Seokmin licks his lips, palming himself through his sweatpants as he quickly starts to grow hard. You touch yourself lazily, staring up at him as you start to get yourself off; you were planning on taking your sweet time, but having him watch you like this is making you unbearably horny. Soft moans escape your lips as you begin to play with your clit, causing him to grip his bulge in his fist tightly as he takes a deep breath. Your other hand grasps at your breast, squeezing it as your fingers start to move faster. The sight is too much for Seokmin. Mouth watering, he pulls his pants down and frees his cock, stroking it slowly in his large hand. You've seen it dozens of times, so you knew exactly what to expect — and yet seeing the sheer size of his cock with your own two eyes has you clenching around nothing. You swear you've never craved anything more in your life.

Your fingers begin to work faster, flicking back and forth over your clit, hips rocking slowly as a burning heat begins to fill your gut. Watching Seokmin masturbate as he watches you masturbate has to be the hottest thing you've ever experienced. His eyes don't leave you for a second, his gaze flickering from your pussy to your breasts to your pretty face, savoring the sight of every inch of you. Soon, he's stroking himself with a sense of urgency, his hand working his cock faster and faster, egged on by your incessant whimpering as you approach your high. Your body writhes against the mattress as an explosive orgasm suddenly overtakes you — your legs tremble, your head falls back into the pillows as you release, crying out with pleasure as the shockwaves of your climax pulse through you.

Your mind spins as you come down, your chest rising and falling with deep breaths as you try to recover. Your eyes flutter open again, seeing Seokmin still standing there, staring at you like he wants to devour you. His hand has stilled, gripping his thick hard cock tightly, his tip glistening with his leaking juices.

"Turn that off and come fuck me already," you tell him, grinning eagerly. He stops the video and walks over to your bed, climbing over you and pressing a long kiss against your lips. You reach for his cock, but he's already scooting back down, positioning himself between your legs.

"I will," he replies, suddenly grabbing you by the thighs and folding you in half, making you gasp. "But first…"

You cry out as he drags his tongue over your cunt, groaning as he laps up the pool of juices.

"Fuck, even better than I imagined."

He slips his tongue into your hole, fucking it in and out as his nose bumps against your swollen clit, sending a jolt of electricity up your spine.

"Oh my god—" you moan, brushing your fingers through his dark hair and grasping onto it. You hold his head in place, but he had no plans of pulling away anyway. He eats you out slowly, savoring every drop of you, his tongue running through your folds and over your clit until you feel the pressure of a second orgasm building inside you. Your hips begin to rock against his face, rubbing your clit over his nose, until you are cumming again. His hands grip your thighs as he doesn't stop, licking your pussy as you ride out your high.

"Fuck," you gasp for air as you pry his head off of you. He grins at you sheepishly, his entire chin dripping.

"Sorry, got a bit carried away," he admits.

"No, don't apologize," you smile at him. "That was fucking amazing."

He dives in one more time to press a soft kiss into your spent clit. Crawling back up to you, you pull him in for a kiss, slipping your tongue into his mouth to taste yourself on him.

"Now will you fuck me?" you tease as your lips part.

"Of course, baby," he says with one more kiss. "I didn't bring any protection though, I kinda ran out the door without thinking…"

"It's okay, I have some," you tell him. Reaching into your drawer you pull out the unopened box of XL condoms you're grateful you bought on a whim. As you open the package, he gives you a quizzical look.

"Do you always keep these on hand?" he asks teasingly.

"Nope," you reply. "Bought them today."

"Oh," he says softly, a satisfied smirk spreading across his face. "So you bought these specifically for me, then."

"Yes," you answer matter-of-factly, making his cheeks turn flushed.

"I guess we're kinda obsessed with each other then, huh?" he asks, grinning widely.

"Seems that way," you beam back at him.

You pull one of the small packets out, tossing the box aside and ripping it open. You pull the condom out and reach for Seokmin's cock. You give it a few pumps, making him groan.

"God, it's so fucking hot to have you actually touching me."

"Good," you grin. You take the condom and stretch it over his tip, rolling it down his length. You grab his cock and guide it to your entrance, rubbing his head over your folds. He moves his hips, pressing it in gently, but you're so soaked that it slips in with ease. You gasp, staring at his cock as it disappears into your cunt, filling you up like never before.

"Oh my god you're huge," you say mouth ajar. You gaze back up, meeting his eyes as he stares at you hungrily. Slowly he begins to fuck you, pulling his cock out and pushing it all the way back in.

"You feel incredible," he mutters as he leans his head in, kissing the side of your neck delicately. You let out a soft, involuntary whine, making Seokmin's head spin more than it already is.

"Fuck, you're so hot," he groans. "Keep making those noises baby, I like it."

"Feels so good," you whimper as he fucks into you harder.

"You're taking me so well," he coos, his hand drifting to your nipple and tugging on it lightly. "Such a good girl."

"Harder," you plead. He smirks, then starts fucking you faster, giving you exactly what you asked for.

"Oh my god, I wanna cum," he moans, leaning in to kiss you, tugging on your bottom lip. He slows to a stop, breathing heavily above you. "Will you please ride me?" he asks, staring deep into your eyes. You nod eagerly, making him grin excitedly. He gently pulls out of you, rolling onto his back and bringing you with him. You straddle him, rubbing your cunt over his cock. You pause for a second, giving him a curious look.

"What is it, love?" he asks softly.

"Let me take it off," you say, dragging your fingertip over his wrapped length. "I want you to cum in me."

His eyes widen. "You're gonna be the death of me," he says with a laugh.

"Is that a yes?" you ask, tugging lightly at the tip of the condom.

"Yeah," he nods. "Absolutely."

You giggle excitedly as you remove the barrier, discarding it and quickly positioning yourself over his cock. It slides in with ease as you sit on it, making you groan as you take his full length inside you.

"Holy fucking shit your pussy feels so good," he moans, his jaw dropping. "Oh my god…"

You begin to ride him, slowly gliding yourself up and down his length, but before long you're fully bouncing up and down on him, crying out from pleasure as his cock reaches deep inside you.

"F-fuck," you whine, pressing your hands against his chest to support yourself as you ride his perfect cock.

"Don't stop," he begs. "I'm so close."

Obediently you keep up your pace, tears welling in your eyes as you stare down at Seokmin. His head drops against the pillow, his eyes rolling back as you feel his cock start to pulse inside you.

"I'm cumming, baby," he groans. He cries out as he releases, and you feel his hot ropes of cum shooting against your walls as a string of delectable moans drifts from his lips. He grabs your hips, squeezing them tight in his grasp as he holds you in place, fucking his cock up into you with careless abandon. His cock twitches as he gives you all of his cum; eventually his hips begin to slow, coming to a stop, his hands still holding a strong grip on your sides.

"Wow," he sighs as he comes back to earth. He smiles, letting out a giggle as he opens his eyes to look at you again. "You're fucking perfect. Let me see," he says, gesturing to your filled pussy. You lift yourself off his length, letting the cum drip out of you, coating his cock and stomach with the sticky mess. Collecting the remainder of his cum from your cunt on your fingers, you lift your hand to your mouth, licking them clean.

"Goddamn," he mumbles as he watches you. You unstraddle him and lean over, licking up the cum from his abdomen as well. He watches you through heavy eyelids, petting your hair as you clean him up.

"C'mere," he says when you finish, pulling you up into his embrace. You snuggle in next to him as he wraps his broad arms around you, holding you tight as he kisses your forehead. You rest there for a few silent moments, breathing together as he gently rubs your back.

"I suppose we could've filmed that," you say after a few minutes, lifting your head out of the crook of his neck to look at him. "But I didn't even think of that. I was too distracted by your huge fucking cock."

Seokmin laughs. "That's okay," he replies sweetly. "Besides, I wanted you all to myself. But we can do this again, if you want."

"Absolutely," you nod.

"Good," he says as he smiles brightly. He pulls you into a tight hug, kissing you again, kissing you over and over for as long as you'll let him — which is very long time, but neither of you mind it one bit.

[TWO WEEKS LATER]

You wake up to thousands of notifications, all from Twitter.

You think you're seeing things at first, but as you scroll you confirm that, indeed, you have more notifications right now than you've ever seen in your life. Smiling, you go to your text messages and open your chat with Seokmin, who has already texted you this morning.

Seokmin: wow, i guess people liked the video :)

You open Twitter and go to your profile, looking at the video you have pinned. The caption reads: We finally collabed @/xcalibur_ 💕 Full video on OF. The clip is a preview of the nearly 30-minute-long sex tape you uploaded to your OnlyFans account — your first official collab with Nico.

Since the first time you fucked, it actually took the both of you about six more times before one of you remembered to turn a camera on. You've been too busy being utterly and completely obsessed with each other, fucking on seemingly every possible surface in both of your apartments. But finally, you decided to film it for real, and it appears Twitter is having a fucking field day with it. Overnight alone, the tweet gained over 5,000 retweets and 12,000 likes. You decide to scroll through the replies to see what people are saying.

holy shit this was so hottttt The collab of a LIFETIME!!! omg my two favorites in one video?? i'm in heaven 😍 bro i just nutted in 1 minute wtf pls make more videos together 🙏 y'alls chemistry is FIRE

Smiling, you return to your texts and reply to Seokmin.

You: i guess so ;) i can't believe we went viral lol Seokmin: i can. that video was so hot ☺️ You: you're so right Seokmin: what are you doing tonight? You: you, hopefully Seokmin: oh for sure!! but, i was actually hoping to take you out to dinner. it's about time i took you on a proper date You: wait, are you're saying you want to date me? 🥺 Seokmin: absolutely i do. if you want, of course You: i'd love nothing more ❤️ Seokmin: YAY :)))

taglist: @kyeomiis @hannieween @smiileflower @hanniebub

@luvseungcheol @escoupsue @shininghoshstar @coupsv 

you know seokmin wants to be held the moment he comes into your shared bedroom without a greeting, instantly going to the bed and falling face first into your lap. he's bigger than you, body covering your entire lower half without a second thought.

putting your phone down, you bring your hand down to rub your boyfriend's back. after a few minutes of silence, save for his soft breathing, he looks up at you, brown eyes wide with desperation as he sighs aloud.

"hi to you too." you chuckle softly, and seokmin cracks a smile at that, bare face handsome and beaming as he speaks. "sorry i didn't say anything when i came in. didn't feel like it."

you knew something was off the moment seokmin came into your room without a word, but you didn't want to press him on the situation, nodding with understanding as you smile. "it's okay. i'm just happy to have you back with me."

"can we cuddle, babe?" seokmin asks, face in a pleading expression as he scoots further up on the bed to kiss your lips softly. "i want to be held by you."

his words hold so much vulnerability in them, you agree without a second thought. nodding, you smile as seokmin gets up, putting himself beside you in the bed as he leans on your shoulder. you take him in your arms instead, letting him press his head against your chest as he lets his eyes close, taking a deep breath.

"good?" you ask gently, and seokmin nods, voice low and relaxed as he replies, "better than good."

smiling, you press a kiss to his forehead, letting him wrap his arms around your waist and keep his head pressed to your chest. he smiles against you a few moments later, and you giggle at the phantom feeling of his face moving against you, questioning him on the change of expression.

"what's so funny?" you inquire softly, and seokmin shakes his head ever so slightly, laughing moments later.

"i can hear your heart beating." seokmin says, and you giggle, nodding. "yeah. it means i'm still breathing."

"i know that," you can hear the 'duh' in seokmin's voice before he continues on, "i was just about to say how fast it's going right now."

even though you've been dating seokmin for seven months, the fact that you get nervous when he's close to you like this never changes. it's no surprise that your heart is speeding because he's so close to you.

"i think it's so cute when you go quiet because you don't know what to say," seokmin says aloud, and you scoff, knowing your cheeks are a bright red as you sigh. "i should have thrown you off of me the moment you got on me."

that causes both of you to laugh, your head falling on top of seokmin's as he laughs lowly against you.

"You said we'd go to lunch and we've been here for an hour and a half," he whines, popping another grape into his mouth as you scowl.

"I just moved in, Soonyoung. I have nothing at my apartment and don't forget, you begged me to tag along. I told you I'd swing by your place after I was done!" You scold, only for him to stick his tongue out at you as you toss a sack of apples into the cart, nibbling on your lip as you peruse the produce. Your list was crumpled and long forgotten in Soonyoung's jacket pocket, and the blond groaned loudly as you tentatively picked up a pineapple and brought it to your face, "quit that before I send you to go sit in my car."

"At least the car has AUX." "Kwon Soonyoung, I mean it."

"Alright, alright…" he trails off, sighing as he looks around the supermarket. You place the pineapple into the cart, the scent sweet and lingering as you cross your arms before Soonyoung's gasp grabs your attention.

"What? What? Is it an old teacher? Are they pregnant?" You look up, your eyes darting around the produce section before Soonyoung's hand grabs your jaw gently and tilts it towards the pile of 'organic plums' — your eyes landing on a white shirt stretched exhaustingly across the broad expanse of shoulders far too familiar. Your jaw tenses at the sleeves that leave nothing for the imagination, straining against toned biceps as your eyes travel further, a slim waist cinched by a black belt and holding up a nice pair of light blue denim jeans. A wallet is tucked into the back pocket and you follow the movement of the arm tying up a plastic produce bag full of said plums — decorated in a singular silver ring on the pinky and a thick watch on the wrist.

"Lee Seokmin, in the flesh!" He calls, and you feel your face hot as said Lee Seokmin turns around, a bright smile spreading on his face as he spots Soonyoung as his hand drops from your face. He makes his way over, the basket in his hand flexing the tendons in his forearm as he gives Soonyoung a one-armed hug, "good to see you, buddy. Did you get a chance to catch up with Seungkwan? We're planning that dinner next month with the guys, it'd be really great to get everyone together…"

He trails off as he sees you standing next to him, a softness glazing over his eyes as he extends his hand to you, "My apologies, I didn't see you. You look…familiar."

You hadn't changed much from high school. Maybe grew a couple of spontaneous inches, learned how to properly do your makeup, stopped acting like you didn't care about other's perception of you and actually put an effort into being more social. He tilts his head as Soonyoung shoves your shoulder, your hands twitching at the hem of your denim miniskirt you'd foolishly worn in the biting Wisconsin wind.

"Sorry," you mumble, taking his hand and giving it a quick shake. "We went to prom together."

"Oh my God, so it's true! I heard that you'd moved back home but I wasn't sure if Yoon Jeonghan of all people was worth getting my news from," he rolls his eyes, before the smile on his lips grows slightly warmer. "It's good to see you, Y/N. You look…nice."

"You hesitated." Soonyoung huffs, shoving his friend's shoulder. "Coward."

"Soonyoung," you elbow him, pressing your lips into a firm line as you nod at Seokmin. "It's fine. You look great, I'm glad to see this town did someone well."

Soonyoung pouts at the insinuation that he's not that someone, making you snicker inwardly as Seokmin eyes you carefully. Like he's studying you, like something is different and he can't figure out what.

"Are you settling in okay? Is Soonyoung being helpful?" He asks, leaning against the apple display, hooking his thumb on his belt loop. You tongue your cheek as you look up at Soonyoung, who acts like the Virgin Mary herself is calling his name as he clears his throat, "oh, look. They have…uh…rotisserie chicken. I'll get you one! You guys catch up!"

He scurries off, and you just shake your head as you move stuff around in the cart.

"I'm settling in fine. I only came back to spend time with my parents, Gyu moved out to go to grad school, but I'm sure you knew that." You shrug, "Soonyoung is Soonyoung. He helped me unload the boxes from the moving truck but I'm taking the weekend and next week to unpack. Just me and a glass of whiskey on the rocks…or two, or three."

You smile as he nods, "do you need help? I'm free all weekend."

"Oh, I'm alright." You respond quickly, almost too quickly. "I've uh…become quite the collector of things. Things I don't exactly need everyone to know I like."

"Vintage Playboy magazines, huh?" "Shut up!"

He laughs softly, his eyes forming crescents as he glances down at the cart, "have you met up with anyone from here?"

The question stings slightly, but you force yourself to brush it off as you shake your head. "No one to meet up with besides Soonyoung, you know. Wasn't always that good at keeping bad company around, you know me."

He does.

He does know you.

The thing about Lee Seokmin is that he knew everything there was to know except where you went the moment you peeled out of this stupid town — small and not at all living up to the Pleasant Hill name. Wisconsin was still Wisconsin, and you still loved the cheese curds from Culver's but the fact of the matter was that Lee Seokmin was likely the only memory you allowed yourself to revisit when you thought about this stupid place.

Sweet, understanding Seokmin that graduated the same year Mingyu did. Sweet, understanding Seokmin that was so cute and absolutely your (and all your friends') hallway crush from grades six through eleven, before you got a boyfriend halfway through your junior year. He still waved at you in the halls, and you still smiled back — but eventually, the boyfriend grew tall enough to block your line of vision and the idea of Seokmin melted from your mind.

You met Seokmin when you were nine years old. He'd been your brother's friend for ages but only when you were in fourth grade was Seokmin officially allowed to come over to your house to spend the night with Mingyu. Your brother would lock his bedroom door as his friends huddled over baseball cards and delicious sandwiches made by your father with the crusts cut off. Eventually, your friend Minghao made it into your brother's get-togethers — effectively rendering you hypoethetically friendless until one of the boys slipped out of Mingyu's room for snacks or water, or even to suck up to your father for an extra serving of dinner before bolting back into the room.

Before Seokmin came around, you had Jihoon, Soonyoung and Minghao — they usually huddled up with you at the dinner table and asked about your friends and your schoolwork. They'd ruffle your hair, they'd pinch your cheeks and steal home fries off your breakfast plate; so they were like three more version of Mingyu you never asked for, but loved nonetheless. You'd swat at them, shove them away before they inevitably got picked up and left you to get thrown around by Mingyu on the trampoline in your backyard as he debriefed all the girls that they liked that were in your grade.

Then, Seokmin moved in next door.

His family bought the beautiful brick two-story with a wrap-around porch that once housed the town doctor before he up and took off out West, chasing a wild wet dream (read: his mistress.)

He was suddenly over at your house every single day, glued at Mingyu's hip — tossing a pigskin around, tinkering around under the hood of your mother's 1969 Cadillac Deville…bothering your father for a sandwich with the crusts cut off because Mingyu was a big baby. He'd split it with your brother on the porch and ask about your day as you stomped up the steps after dance practice. You'd never delve too deep into details, simply shaking your head or giving him a thumbs up before ducking inside and burying your head in the books.

Mingyu and his friends graduated, going all over the country for college — but Seokmin stayed. He went to state school to stay close to his parents, but not so close that he didn't get that same taste of freedom that your brother and Minghao were enjoying at Rutgers in New Jersey. You were a senior in high school, trying to make the best of all the changes — only for it to be the worst year an 18-year-old girl could have.

You got (and crashed) your first car, which was Mingyu's before it was yours so it had that gross 'I give my friends rides home from football practice' smell permeated in the seats. You failed your first semester of Calculus and had to go to tutoring and Saturday school for six weeks to even attempt to earn a C. You injured your foot during practice and got benched for the rest of the year, so there was nothing to look forward to (not that they would've kept you on the team anyway, since you failed Calculus.)

To top it all off — your best friend and your boyfriend were in cahoots. Six years of friendship (and her gross crush on Mingyu) and almost a year and a half of dating were wasted, and both presented their end three weeks before prom — which was two days before graduation.

You'd stared at your dress for a good while the night before it was all supposed to happen. It'd been hung up on your closet door, the one thing you looked forward to after such a shit year that wasn't graduation — and it was sullied. The sparkly butter yellow tulle made your stomach hurt, the sweetheart neckline littered with glittering rhinestones making your eyes prickle with tears. You stared at the French pedicure you'd gotten at your local nail salon that would've peeked out the bottom of your dress — your shoes six-inch tall heels and the straps were decorated with flowers.

You were a nominee for Prom Queen. You had your hair and makeup inspiration saved to a Pinterest board you'd been curating since you found out prom was a thing that would happen in your life. Your ex-boyfriend's matching tie and corsage sat on your dresser, abandoned. You didn't have a date, and now an extra ticket to a gathering you weren't sure you wanted to attend.

Until Mingyu knocked on your door.

He'd come home from college for the summer a week earlier, making the drive back to Wisconsin right after his last final. He dropped Minghao off at his house, and skirted right into the driveway of your house, welcomed lovingly by his parents and confused when his little sister was holed up in her room, staring at the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to her ceiling.

"I'd go with you if I could, pipsqueak." He said softly, sitting on the edge of your bed as you let hot tears pool in your eyes. "But I know you'd think that's mega lame."

"It is mega lame. Gyu." Your voice had been so thick you could hardly understand yourself, but he squeezed your ankle through the blanket before sighing. "Mingyu, why has this year been so shit? Was your senior year this shitty?"

"Well." He adjusted slightly, "I got dumped because I chose Rutgers over staying here, and I had to take Minghao to prom. We still had a good time…maybe you can take Soonyoung. He's in town again, I know he swung by earlier to see how you were holdin' up."

"I look like such a loser taking a friend to my fucking prom. It was supposed to be me and my boyfriend." You huffed, angrily wiping at your eyes. "I don't even have a cute guy that I could pretend is into me."

The silence that blanketed over you both was deafening, before you met each other's eyes in that way siblings do when something is so good but it's crazy. It's so good, and it'd work so well — but it's absolutely insane.

Mingyu grabbed the tie and corsage while you practically tumbled down the stairs in your pajamas, running out the front door and across the lawn barefoot as the sprinklers started going off. You banged on the front door of the Lee house, hearing rustling before the door swung open and your fist was caught by one Lee Seokmin.

"Go to prom with me."

Naturally — as a favor to an old friend's little sister, Seokmin agreed. He blindly agreed as Mingyu instructed him to be your arm candy all night long, to show you off, let you be the star of the show. Pretend that an older boyfriend in college was far more interesting than some cheap party thrown together by the school in a fancy hotel — essentially, make you something worth envying.

It worked.

It worked like a dream — he stayed by your side the entire night, speaking softly to other dates, getting along with your dance team members, even greeting his old teachers with a bright smile that made them forget he was there with a student and wasn't one himself. They asked if he was your boyfriend, and you interrupted with a loud yes — his cheeks tinging pink as he held you close and kissed your temple. It was sweet, it was cute, and it was triumph coursing through your veins as you were crowned Prom Queen and left right after.

You sat in your mother's '69 Cadillac Deville with him, parked at a Dairy Queen on the outskirts of town with a sweet vanilla milkshake in your hand. He's thrown his suit jacket in the backseat, the top button of his shirt undone and his tie haphazardly pulled off. He rolled his sleeves up, leaning his head back against the seat when you snorted.

"You know what's funny?" "What's funny, sweets?"

He toyed with the straw of his own milkshake, his silver watch glinting in the low light.

"You can't tell Mingyu I said this." "I wouldn't tell Mingyu anything that's happened tonight if he paid me."

"I was supposed to lose my virginity tonight," you roll your eyes, kicking your heels off and crossing your legs at the knee. You stare up at the sky, "I was going to go to a motel with him, my ex. Get it over with so that I wouldn't go to college a virgin. Stupid, isn't it?"

"If that's the only reason you were going to do it, then yeah. A little bit." He nodded, plucking the cherry out of his cup and pulling the syrupy fruit off the stem with his teeth. "But I'm not any better, so I can't judge because I'm speaking from experience."

"You're not a virgin? I thought you were." "Haven't been since last summer. Why are you even thinking about it? I'm nineteen. I do…things." "Sure, man. Was it good? Is that TMI?"

"No," he snorted, shaking his head as he sighed, sucking his teeth. "It was just…there. The opportunity, I mean. I wasn't dating the girl either. It was a mistake and I regret it but life goes on. It should be with someone you trust and actually like, it adds to it. I guess. What do I know?"

"Lots of stuff." "Name two things." "You know my favorite color and you know how to drive. I trust you with my life, I think."

He laughed then, shaking his head as he played with his straw, "yeah, well. I'm sorry your senior year turned out this way. If it's any better, mine was pretty shit, too."

"Nah. I'd say it ended pretty well. I'm eighteen, I have a license, I graduate on Sunday and then I'm gone. I'm off to California and I never have to see this shitstain town again." You shook your head, sucking your teeth as you twisted in your seat. His eyes were wide, "you hate it here that much?"

"I have no good memories." "That might be a stretch, but I understand." "Thank you." You shrugged, tracing the stitching in the leather. The thread was a custom cobalt blue, to match the exterior of the car and paired with creamy beige seats. "Hey, Seok?"

"Yeah?" "Do you remember how you used to say hi to me everyday before you graduated last year? In the halls?"

He smiled, and you swore you saw a hint of a blush creep up the shells of his ears as he nodded, "yeah, of course I remember."

"Why'd you do it?" "Because…I don't know. It was a habit, and I liked seeing you…I don't know. It's courteous." "When you say I don't know…you mean you do, but you don't want to tell me. Right?"

"Right." He agreed, and you leaned slightly closer, holding your pinky out to him. He glances at it, and you scoot closer to him on the bench seat so your thigh is brushing his as you push your hand into his space.

"Pinky promise I won't tell Mingyu." "Mingyu doesn't scare me anyway."

He rolled his eyes, but linked his finger with yours. You waited for him to let go, but he interlaced his fingers with yours and held them on this thigh.

"For starters, everything I said is also true." "I figured, yes." "I think…I had a little bit of a crush on you. Nothing insane, of course. Just…a little one. Hallway crush, I think I heard Mingyu call it once."

You shifted then, your hand subconsciously squeezing his as you cleared your throat.

"And you never said anything?" "You're my best friend's little sister. Even I saw the cliché there. It's not that…I wouldn't have made a move, I just didn't think it was a wise choice in the long run."

You nodded, "yeah…that makes sense."

Neither of you moved away or unfurled your fingers, but Seokmin sighed, "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. You're very right, Mingyu would've knocked our heads together." "…Our?"

"You think I waved back because it was courteous? Get with the program, Lee." You snorted, shaking your head as you stared up at the sky. The stars twinkled, almost mockingly as you sighed, "though, it's much worse with it's best friend who likes the little sister. It's kind of expected for the little sister to like the best friend, you know? Clichés and all that…always blamin' it on the girls. Like it's my fault Mingyu has cute friends."

"Plural?" "Singular, sorry."

"Would you have let me kiss you?" He asked suddenly, and you lolled your head to the side, scanning his face with your eyes before shrugging. "Y/N."

"Depends. Are you kissing me because you want to or because it gives you the rush of kissing your best friend's sister?" "Mostly the first." "Cynical." "I'm honest."

You laughed then, squeezing his hand before sitting up properly. You tucked your legs under you, the fabric of your dress hanging off the edge of the seat as you kneeled next to him, your knees pressing into his thigh as you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Thanks for taking me to prom. You didn't have to." "I don't do these things for free, you know. Pay up, sixty bucks."

The smile on his lips said he was joking, but you feigned shock anyway and softly smacked his shoulder. He laughed, pulling his hand out of yours to wrap his arms around you. You let him pull you into his embrace, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as you buried your face into his neck. He patted your back, humming softly before he spoke.

"Thanks for thinking I was the right choice to leave a lasting impression. College boyfriends don't do this sort of thing, at least none of the ones I know."

"Well, you're my college boyfriend for the night." You shrugged, pulling back slightly. Your eyes met his, your faces centimeters apart. He shamelessly glanced at your lips, shifting slightly, "I'm sorry I missed your birthday. I know Mingyu came home, I was slammed."

"Are you going to keep talking about my brother or are you going to kiss me?"

You try not to remember the kiss, or the soft scent of vanilla floating off both your mouths.

Quite often, you shove it out of your mind and force yourself to think about what could've been if he'd said no. If your mother had called just a moment earlier, before your lips met his. If your brother had texted him just three minutes before his hand cupped your face gently and pulled you closer, milkshakes forgotten as his tongue slipped into your mouth.

You never retell the story with the kiss included. You always just say your brother's best friend took you to prom and took you to milkshakes after. That he drove you through the outskirts of town in your mother's '69 Cadillac and made you feel like a princess.

Every single person lets you know that they think that 'brother's best friend' had a crush on you.

So to stand in this grocery store and know that Lee Seokmin has kissed you, has had a crush on you, has seen you cry — it feels vulnerable.

"Let's have dinner soon, if you're not busy. I'd love to catch up." He spoke softly, and Soonyoung was still acting stupid around the selection of rotisserie chicken, acting as if lemon herb and garlic rosemary were such hard choices. You gave Seokmin a small smile, holding up a finger as you called across the store, "pick a damn bird and get over here!"

Soonyoung pouted, grabbing one of each as you turned back to Seokmin. He was still looking at you with that same twinkle in his eyes, like he still wondered if you thought about him. If you thought about that night, if you thought about the sweet vanilla on his tongue as he kissed you for what felt like decades in the bench seat of your mother's car. If you thought about the way he pulled you into his lap, the way you pulled his hand up the expanse of your thigh that peeked out through the slit of your dress.

If you thought about the way he stopped kissing you before it could end the way most prom nights end — losing your virginity to him in a car. If you thought about how embarrassed he looked that he let himself get carried away, kissing down the slope of your neck and how he apologized because you were Mingyu's sister, because he was a year older than you and had more life lived, because, because, because.

Never in those reasons did he say because he didn't want to.

"We should, if you'd like. Uh, I'd offer my apartment but…" You rubbed your neck sheepishly, and he only shook his head, pulling his phone out of his pocket and opening a new contact. He handed it to you, your fingers trembling as you typed in your number, "was Mingyu very annoying while I was gone?"

"He actually told me earlier that I'm not allowed call him annoying." Seokmin scoffs, "because I'm, in his words, ten times as annoying but I don't think that's all that true."

"It's not." "Of course you say that, he's your brother."

"Birds of a feather flock together, Seokmin. If you're annoying, so is he." You deadpan, typing your name into the contact file. "But, you're less annoying because I have no obligation to tolerate you. If you piss me off, I can just walk away. Can't do that with Mingyu, I'll just have to see him again. Family and all."

You roll your eyes, handing his phone back. He nods, "valid."

"I see you've gotten acquainted once more," Soonyoung tries to ease into the conversation, but frowns as you and Seokmin both point your eyes at him. "Yah, you'd think I asked about that stupid prom night kiss."

"Anyway." You speak quickly, your cheeks hot as Seokmin's ears tinge pink under the fluorescent lights of the supermarket, "uh, Friday? Does Friday work for you?"

"Friday's great!" He blurts, "we can just do it at yours. I don't think you should be unpacking all those boxes by yourself."

"She doesn't even have a mattress, Seokmin. A mattress!" Soonyoung exclaims, and you nibble on your lip in embarrassment as Seokmin shoves his shoulder lightly, "you should be helping her!"

Soonyoung scoffs, wrapping his hands around the cart handle and pushing it forward, "I don't have to take this shit from you guys. I'm the glue that holds this family together, damnit."

He stalks away, head held high as Seokmin shakes his head.

"He's dramatic." "Oh, tell me about it. He's been whining about how hungry he is when I told him this would take time."

You sigh, your face still hot as you take a tiny step back, "well, it was nice seeing you, Seokmin. Uh, Friday, yeah? I'll send you my address."

"Sure, sure." He nods, clearing his throat. Things feel awkward in the air between you, "sorry about Soonyoung."

"It shouldn't be awkward. It was years ago," you try, but still cover your face with your hands. "God, I'm sorry."

"No! It's okay, it was just…not something I was expecting today." His laugh is still warm, but there's something else in it. Maybe embarrassment, maybe frustration.

Maybe guilt.

You extend your hand, "well, it's fine. Friends, right?"

He glances at it, taking it gently. He runs his thumb over your knuckles, "friends. Now, run along. I can see his blond head in the bakery from here, he's gonna make you buy him a cake."

"It's the least I could do," you snort, squeezing his hand carefully. "Bye, Seok."

"Bye, sweetheart. Be safe."

YOUR APARTMENT IS STILL A MESS WHEN SEOKMIN ARRIVES.

You are still a mess when Seokmin arrives, a pout on your lip as you open your front door and see him nicely dressed in a soft sweater and a crisply pressed pair of chinos under his brown peacoat — and the little black hoops looped through his ears that you hadn't seen in ages.

He only laughs, gently pinching your cheek between his knuckles and stepping inside to a mess of broken down boxes and old tape rolled into a ball, chucked over your coffee table. You've got an old, paint-stained t-shirt that used to belong to Mingyu over your pajama shorts, and you insist that you'll be ready soon — which he only smiles at your half done hair and full face of make-up (sans lipstick.)

"Take your time," he shrugs, "seems like you had quite the week getting this place fixed up. Nice work."

"Don't praise me, it won't bode well." You huff, scurrying back to your bathroom to make sure the curling wand didn't burn a hole into your sink.

The week had been insane — you paid Soonyoung in cheesecake on Monday and Tuesday to help you unpack your kitchen and your bathroom, and then told him not to bother you until Sunday because you were going to do the rest on your own. You managed to get most of it done, including getting a mattress delivered and your bedframe set up by Wednesday…

But the lingering boxes, trash and the like were all cause of your frequent back-and-forth texting with one Lee Seokmin.

You caught up on minute things — him leaving UW-Madison his sophomore year and meeting Mingyu and Minghao at Rutgers. Him getting a masters degree, you getting a masters degree. You living in California for six years and four in Oregon, and the unspoken knowledge that the other four were purely for a boyfriend.

One that you wound up breaking up with (and one that fueled the fire of you moving back home) after catching him in your bed with his ex-girlfriend. From high school. Who was also engaged to his best friend!

There was a joke in the conversation from Seokmin, asking how college was as a virgin. You fired back that it was much better than having a crush on your brother's best friend, to which he replied with a frowning emoji and insisted he was better to crush on than some snotty-nosed frat boy who drank like a fish.

You both silently acknowledged that the Mingyu wedge was still present, and neither of you would be making the move to overlook it…even if you silently hoped he would.

You also swapped social media accounts in the process — his was full of adventures. Trips to Seoul and Osaka with your brother and other friends of his, trips to the mountains and skiing out east. Gardens in New Jersey and his graduation from Rutgers (and the impressive Cornell, despite not being nearly as snooty as half the other people you'd met in California that had come from the Ivy League.)

Yours had been curated carefully — luncheons, aesthetically taken shots of you by your old roommates who had all moved home back east. There was summer vacation carousels, photos of you with Aperol Spritz' in your hand and lounging on boats in bikinis you begged your brother not to tell your mother about (who only asked why you weren't showing more skin when you called her that following Christmas.)

Seokmin only liked the latest carousel on your profile. Your goodbyes to the beautiful wilderness that surrounded you in Oregon, and a promise to return someday — a photo of your packed up apartment, a cat lounging in the mid-morning sun atop your U-Haul, a thickly packed bagel with one for the road written across the top corner in an Instagram font you used almost too heavily during your days as a sorority girl hoping to reach prospective sisters.

And a selfie of you and Minghao, who had flown out from Boston to help you make the drive back home. Your heads were touching, his long hair ruffled against yours as you both winked at the camera, holding up to-go cups of hot tea and coffee — which you never liked, even if it was winter.

You ignored the shirtless photos on his profile.

"Have you decided where you want to go? So I can dress for the occasion." You called from your bathroom, having turned the curling wand off and opening the door to relieve some of the warmth you felt all over your face. You slipped out, seeing Seokmin staring at your wall of trinkets. Little clown figurines made by an Oregon artist that were grouped with Nyota and Skullpanda figurines you'd gotten in blind boxes, a couple of framed photos of you and Mingyu as kids, a snowglobe with a picture of you and your mother in it when Mingyu and your father got stuck in New Jersey during your senior year of high school.

"Uh, there's a nice place in Madison, if you don't mind the drive. Plus the potential traffic, it is a Friday." He nods, "just wear a dress? Maybe a long one?"

"Gotcha, yep."

You rooted around and found a long dress you'd worn back in California once for a Christmas dinner with your boyfriend during grad school. It had off-the-shoulder long sleeves, and a skirt that stopped at the ground with the right pair of shoes (read: your favorite pair of black heels.) You scurried around, grabbing your shoes and nibbling your lip at the slit that ran high up your thigh in the dark red fabric in the mirror of your vanity.

It felt a little…derivative.

You put your jewelry on, swiping on a creamy layer of lipstick before grabbing your purse and switching things around to your clutch. Your winter coat was in the hall closet, and you held your heels in one hand as you exited your bedroom hurriedly. Seokmin glanced over his shoulder from the pinned tour posters on your wall, turning around fully as you fixed your hair in the mirror that hung on your wall.

"Is this okay?" You ask, not bothering to look at him as you wiped the corners of your lips.

"Yeah, perfect. You look great…and we're running late." He teased, making you groan as you look at him in the mirror, "you told me to take my time!"

"I didn't think that meant forty minutes, sweetheart. Hop to, or we'll miss our reservation." He taps his watch, "where do you keep your coat?"

"Hall closet," you sit at a chair in your dining room, bending at the waist to pull on your shoes as he ducks past. He returns with your coat and a red mark on his forehead, a pout on his lip as you look up from your shoes, "what happened?"

"Your box of photo albums fell on me. How did you not hear that?" He whines, and you coo as you let him help you slip your coat on. Your fingers gently rub at the spot, "you'll be okay."

"Yeah, easy for you to say." He huffs, and you roll your eyes, pressing a kiss to your fingers before patting them against his forehead.

"Yeah, it is. Now, move along."

The drive to Madison was slow, but the restaurant he chose had been well worth it. You were sat at a rounded booth in the back, the lights dim and the environment cozy with soft jazz playing overhead. The waiter was sweet, but a bit too flirty for your taste — and clearly for Seokmin's as well, because he pulled you closer to him by your waist, his fingers lingering on your hip long enough for the waiter to see as he brought your drinks from the bar.

Dinner was relatively fun. Soft conversations, bringing up old memories, catching up on things. Seokmin asked about your psychology degree, you asked about his sudden move to Rutgers.

"Home isn't as fun without having a neighbor girl to bother." He stated, shrugging his shoulders as you gave him a deadpan look. He swiped a scallop off your plate then, making you scowl because you were not going to take a bite of his steak. "Plus, it was quiet. Madison is nice but Jersey was new and exciting. I roomed with Mingyu, Minghao and our friend Wonwoo, and it was fun until I would come back to one of their rooms with a sock on the door."

"Ew, I don't want to know about their adventures. I got enough with Hao complaining about his boyfriend wanting them to move to New York. Something, something, is the sex not filthy enough that he wants to move to Manhattan?" You scrunched your nose, making him laugh as you crossed your legs at the knee. Your dress splayed open, your thigh exposed to the warm air of the restaurant and the soft fabric of Seokmin's pants.

He didn't bother looking down, only tapping your knee before pulling the fabric over it.

"They're going to end up moving. Junhui has a hold on Minghao that you wouldn't believe. You would love him." He nods, "I helped Junhui plan the proposal."

Your eyes widened at that, and Seokmin swore you into secrecy before spilling the beans of your childhood friend potentially getting engaged before the end of the year.

Dinner came and went, dessert was sweet on your tongues despite the dark chocolate and Seokmin pouting when you had the last bite. You kept talking — your families, how shitty the holidays are as you get older and lose the childlike wonder of Santa Claus and gifts under the tree, girlfriends, boyfriends…

Your jaw tight as he mentioned his, his tight when you mentioned yours and a frown gracing his lips when you mentioned the Oregon boyfriend in particular.

"Well, he sucks." Seokmin clicked his tongue as he held the door open, the receipt blowing in the wind between his fingers. He'd fought you to pay the bill, shoving his card in the waiter's hand as he pinned you to your seat with a hand on your thigh.

A move that neither of you spoke about but both knew it could've created something neither of you were too sure you'd dislike. Not that either of you knew the other felt the same about the latter, but it wasn't your business to know.

Not yet, anyway.

The drive back is comfortable. You took AUX as he drove, complimented the recently refurbished bench seat of his truck. He smiles, says he also helped your mother get her '69 Cadillac get a beautiful new layer of that cobalt blue paint she loves. He prompts you to sit closer, and you end up resting your head on his shoulder with his hand low on your hip as you drive back into Pleasant Hill.

He's warm. He smells floral, like iris and neroli with a hint of cedarwood. He's drumming his fingers against you, running his hand slightly up and down your hip as you watch the sky become clearer the further you get into your small town.

He feels like home.

"Did you miss me while I was gone?" You ask suddenly as he rolls to a stop at a red light just half a block before your apartment complex. He raises a brow, looking down at you with an amused expression.

"You think I didn't?" "I wouldn't be asking."

"Of course I missed you, Y/N." He shakes his head, subconsciouly squeezing your hip. "I left Pleasant Hill because I missed you. I came back because I missed you."

"Or because my brother asked you to." "Your brother is the closest thing I get to you, so you have to give me some credit. Hallway crushes don't disappear as easily as I thought, especially not after you kiss her on prom night."

Your cheeks burn as the light turns green, your hand on his knee tracing circles as he presses on the gas.

"It's been ten years since then, Seokmin." "No, it's been nineteen. I've liked you since I was ten years old."

Your eyes widen as he pulls into your apartment complex, expertly slipping into a shaded parking space. He turns the car off as you look up at him, "you should head inside. It's late and you'll need your rest to finish unpacking."

"Mingyu's coming in the morning to help me." You murmur, and he nods simply, "he always was a nice guy. He's making long distance work with Tzuyu."

"Seokmin." "Yes?"

"Are you going to keep talking about my brother or are you going to kiss me?" The words slip from your mouth as easily as they did ten years ago, but he doesn't bother responding before he presses his lips to yours. Soft, smooth but hungry as he pulls you on top of him, his hand wrapping around your neck and holding you firmly in place. Your hands pulled at his sweater, shoving it up as his tongue slipped into your mouth. He let go of your neck, shoving your coat off your shoulders as you sucked on the tip of his tongue, your fingertips toying with the buckle of his belt before he pulled back.

"We can't." "We can." "Mingyu—"

"You came up for a nightcap and helped me unpack. Too drunk to drive home and spent the night on my couch." You unbuckle his belt as he groans, his hands eagerly pulling at the slit of your dress to expose your thighs. His fingers are warm as they slide up the plush flesh, squeezing shamelessly as you pull his belt through the loops and toss it to the side, "not embarrassed about your little collections anymore?"

"What I do with my Maxim subscription is between me and the comfort of my bedroom." "Better read than Playboy, eh?" "With the same beautiful women. Are you going to Prom Night me or what, Seokmin?"

"We're using that as an adjective now? Prom Night-ing?" He huffs, your lips parting with a soft gasp as lithe fingers squeeze the swell of your ass over the lace of your underwear. "I wasn't going to take your virginity in a car."

"Well, someone else has that shit now, and we did it on a fraternity beanbag." "I don't want to hear about that. The guys you've been with didn't deserve you in the first place."

"Then prove you deserve me more than they did." You whisper against his lips, "and it'll be like it never happened. Just you, just me. Yours, and mine."

He sits for a moment, his eyes boring into yours as he slides his hands over your hips carefully. He kneads the soft skin between his fingers, nibbling on his lip as his thumb toys with the hem of your panties before plucking at it.

"What if you regret it?" "Seokmin, we've had a thing for one another for the last nineteen years. We're as cliché as they come. Probably down to the ring and the house and the kids, if you want them."

He blinks, nodding slowly as he clicks his tongue.

"You think Mingyu knows?" "Are we going to keep talking about my brother?"

He presses his lips to yours, a mumble of no slipping out as he pulls you higher on his lap. Your fingers undo his pants easily, the sound of the zipper catching his attention as your hand dips beneath the fabric of his boxers to palm at his cock. His fingers immediately slip between your legs, pulling the embarrassingly damp fabric of your panties to the side to circle your clit with his thumb. Your thighs tighten around his hand, your gasp swallowed by his lips before you pull away, letting him kiss down the expanse of your neck and littering the soft skin with nips of his teeth.

His fingers slip lower as your thumb swipes over the leaking head of his cock, shaky breaths falling from your lips as he circles your entrance with his fingertips before pushing in slowly. He sighs against your chest at the wet sound of your cunt swallowing his fingers, a whimpered groan falling from your lips into his shoulder.

"Seokmin, we s-should—" "We should go upstairs."

It's a tumble to get out of the car, his pants hastily buttoned and your fingers shaking as you try to unlock the door. He pushes it open from behind you, shoving it closed with his foot once you both step inside and pinning you against it. He pulls your coat off as he kisses you desperately, throwing the coat over a bunch of boxes labeled bedroom before his hands wrap around your thighs and lift you up. You wrap your legs around him instinctively, the kiss turning to teeth and tongue as he carries you in the direction of your bedroom.

"I could worship you for the rest of my life and it still wouldn't be enough to deserve you." He mumbles against your lips as he nudges the bedroom door open, your cheeks heating as he sets you on the edge of your bed gently. He pushes you back against it, kissing you carefully — a total switch up that makes your head spin as he cups your face with one hand, his knee slotting between your thighs as you move to lean back on your elbows. "I would've waited ten more years if it meant you'd come back to me."

"Seokmin," you pout against his mouth, only for him to kiss you chastely before his hands move to gather the fabric of your dress at your hips. You sit up, letting him pull the dress over you and toss it across the room before his hands slid down your sides. His eyes don't make you feel self conscious as they trail over you, his fingers hooking with the waistband of your panties and easily pulling them down your thighs. He shamelessly tucks them into his pocket, smiling inwardly as he kisses your parted lips.

"You're a pervert." "You're beautiful." "Well don't be nice to me, it ruins the purpose."

"It's banter, gorgeous." He trails his lips down your jaw, making your skin prickle as his hands spread your thighs. He traces a path down your chest, murmuring soft praises as he kisses each of your nipples before kissing down your soft belly, his hands massaging the muscle of your thighs as he spread them further. He drags his lips across your hips, peering up at you through his lashes as he litters kisses on the inside of your thighs, kneeling at the edge of your bed.

"Seokmin." "Patience." "I waited ten years, isn't that enough?"

He raises a brow, sinking his teeth into your skin and making you flinch, before quickly running his tongue over the mark.

"I waited ten years, too, you know." He says pointedly, his lips ghosting over your clit before he presses an open mouthed kiss to it. Your thighs twitch around his head as he pulls you closer to his face, "I spent the entire week fucking my hand, thinking about you in that little skirt at the grocery store."

He doesn't let you reply, opting to slip his tongue between your folds in long, languid strokes — gathering your arousal in his mouth before swirling the tip of his tongue around your clit. Your spine arches off the bed as he sucks the bundle of nerves into his mouth, your hand carding through his hair and giving it a harsh tug as soft pants fall from your lips. His fingers slide down your thigh, prodding at your entrance gently before sinking in carefully, your thighs closing around his head as he works you over with his tongue. Your mewled moans of his name fill the air, your hips rutting against his face earning nothing but hums and curls of his fingers as he finds that spongy spot that makes your legs tremble around his head. Your heels dig into his shoulders as the wet sound of your cunt around his fingers hits your ears, your cheeks burning hot as the coil in your belly snaps with a whimper from your lips.

You can feel him smile against your skin, the smug bastard.

"Did so well for me, honey." He whispers against your thigh, his fingers slipping out of you slowly and circling your clit. Your skin prickles as you jerk away from him, closing your legs around his hand as he catches your ankle before it hits him, using it as leverage to pull you flush against the tent in his pants. "You can give me another, can't you? Just one more, baby."

He keeps his eyes on you as he kisses up your calf, his fingers still tracing circles on your clit as you squirm. He kisses the side of your foot, his teeth tugging at the strap of your heel around your ankle to grab your attention.

"One more." "On your cock." "Whatever you want, baby."

He slips his hand out from between your thighs to shuck his sweater off, tossing it somewhere in the room before reaching into his back pocket and pulling his wallet out — procuring a gold foil packet between his fingers. You sit up, rolling your eyes as you pluck it from his hand, flicking it across the room before pulling him closer to you and kissing the bulge in his pants. Your fingers unbutton them swiftly, mouthing at his cock over his boxers.

His hand drops his wallet as your fingers curl around the waistband, his own raking through your hair as your spit soaks through the fabric before you pull them down his thighs. Your hands circle the muscle, digging your nails into the side as you lick the tip of leaking precum. He bites down on his lip as take him deeper in your mouth, peering up at him through your lashes as the tip hits the back of your throat. You sink slightly further, your nose brushing his lower stomach as he groans, gathering your hair in his hand asyour hand slides up his thigh, cupping his balls as you slowly bob your head up and down his length. You pull off briefly with a soft gasp, lips swollen as you kiss his shaft before he pulls you away gently.

"Later," he whispers, bending to press a kiss to your spitslick lips. "Lie back, baby."

"Seok—" "Later, I promise."

You pout but do as you're told, leaning back on your elbows as he kicks off his pants, toeing off his shoes before you reach to undo your heels — only for him to grab your ankle and pull your leg away from you, "leave them on."

"Freak."

He doesn't reply, only smiling inwardly as he spreads your thighs for him, your cunt still glistening with his spit and your cum. He wraps his hand around himself, sliding the thick head of his cock through your slick folds with a soft moan. You rut your hips up, begging for any kind of friction when he pins you to the mattress, "be patient."

"Fuck me." "I am."

"You're taking your sweet ti—" Your sentence is cut off by his cock sinking inside you slowly, a smirk playing on his lips as your eyes flutter shut. He holds your thighs apart, his eyes trained on the way your cunt sucks in him, his lips parted as he buries himself to the hilt inside you. Your breathing is shallow as he presses his chin to his chest, the low light of your bedroom light showing off all the soft contours of his body as your fingres itch to touch him.

He leans forward, brushing a kiss to your lips as your hands slide up his arms, digging your nails into his shoulders as he gives a tentative roll of his hips. A punctuated fuck falls from your lips, making him trail wet, open mouthed kisses down the curve of your throat. His hand snakes between you, thumb finding your clit and pressing against it hard as he rocks into you with a barely controlled pace that settles the idea in your brain that he wants you just as bad as you want him.

"Feel so good, baby," he whines into your neck, his hips meeting yours with hard thrusts that make your breath hitch in your throat. "Such a good girl, yeah? Say you're mine."

"'M yours," your voice is hardly steady as you can taste the embarrasingly close end on the back of your tongue, your limbs fuzzy as you drag your nails down his back. He shivers, your walls clamping around him as he drags his lips down your neck, holding your knees tight to your chest as he swirls his tongue over one of your nipples. You thrust your chest up, your back bent in half as his cock drags deliciously in your spasming walls as you stave off your orgasm. "Want to you cum inside me, p-please."

"Please, huh? My baby's so polite…" he kisses back up your chest, dragging his tongue up the slope of your neck before his teeth tug at your earlobe. "You're mine, right? My girl. Mine."

You nod with a soft whine, your orgasm ripping through you and making your body feel hot as he spills inside you. Your fingernails are digging into his biceps, tears pricking at your eyes as he fucks you through it, your thighs shake around his waist, his hands quickly sliding over them and squeezing the soft flesh. Your skin is slick with sweat as he kisses down your chest, "you did so good for me, baby. So good."

You drape an arm over your eyes, embarrassment coating your cheeks in warmth as he carefully undoes the strap of your heels without pulling out. You feel his fingers gently circle the reddened dip of the straps, massaging the spot as you clench around him. He jerks in response, making you gasp as you close your legs as much as you can with him holding your ankles. He's still hard inside you, his hands pulling your ankles together over one shoulder and giving a slow roll of his hips; your hand darting out to push his hip away.

"S-Seokmin—" "Just one more. You can do it, I know you can."

Your hand on his hip slides off, "slow. I mean it."

"Whatever my girl wants." "You." "You have me, baby."

"And you're mine, too?" You peer up at him, eyes glossy with unshed tears as he nods, stopping his movements to press a kiss to the tip of your nose. You scrunch it, pursing your lips for a kiss. He obliges, speaking against your lips.

"I'm yours, Y/N."

IT'S VERY OBVIOUS THAT NEITHER OF YOU REALLY STUCK TO THE STORY THAT SEOKMIN GOT DRUNK AND COULDN'T DRIVE HOME.

You're twenty-eight years old, sitting on your couch with your twenty-nine year old (newly pronounced) boyfriend as your brother (unfortunately, also his best friend) screams like a husky wanting out of the house. He goes on and on about the integrity of a promise — apparently, Mingyu did know that Seokmin had the hots for you way back when, and made him swear he would never make a move on you. It doesn't help that you and Seokmin both spill the beans at the same time about how the two of you almost slept together the night of your prom — making Mingyu rub his face in embarrassment as he paces in front of you both.

"Fine, fine! Whatever!" He exclaims, throwing his arms up in defeat. "You win! Just don't ruin my sister's life and I won't fucking kill you."

You chew on your lip, shifting in your brother's old, paint-stained t-shirt as he huffs, crossing his arms on his chest.

"So you're not mad at me, right, Gyu?" You murmur, and Seokmin immediately scoots closer to you, tucking you into his chest as your older brother sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Well, it's not like I didn't expect this." He mutters, "neither of you are very good at keeping your feelings a secret."

"Then why are you over here yelling like a banshee?" You ask, and he sighs again, crouching next to your coffee table.

"Because you're my sister. It's my job to embarrass you and also yell at any of my friends that think they have a chance with you." He says pointedly, before looking at Seokmin. "I mean it. She was gone for ten years, and if I lose her again I'm killing you. The grave will be a ditch in Appalachia and no one will ever find your fucking body."

Mingyu didn't stay to help unpack, instead handing the task over to Seokmin with the label of it being 'to prove he was worthy of being with you.' He left with a kiss to the side of your head and a sniff at Seokmin, stalking out of your apartment and slamming the door so hard the walls shook.

"…He wouldn't actually, would he?" "No, I'm pretty sure he would. It's the could that I'm skeptical about, Mingyu can't even go hunting."

Seokmin snorted, laying back on the couch and pulling you on top of him with a soft brush of his lips to your cheek.

"Well, he doesn't have to worry about it. After all, I could spend the rest of my life worshipping you and it still wouldn't be enough."

You think it just might be.

THE ROAD AHEAD IS NEVER ENDING. At least, it’s starting to feel that way. You’ve been driving for hours, the inky ribbon of the highway unraveling ahead of you beneath the weak hum of your radio. The clock on your dash says it’s almost midnight, but you swear it was midnight two hours ago. You can’t really remember, which means you need sleep as soon as possible. 

Outside of the windows, the world is a smear of motionless dark. There are no other cars and no stars ahead, the cloudy night blanketing the world. The wind presses against your windows as you drive, wind kicking up on the road in front of your headlights before vanishing. 

Just as your eyes start to get heavy again, your headlights reflect on an exit sign. You breathe a sigh of relief. You’ve been driving across the country for the better part of two days and today has been the longest stretch of driving thus far. 

Red paint catches your attention on the green sign. An additional sign has been tacked on to the exit directions, a quick EXIT NOW FOR THE MIDNIGHT MENAGERIE - ONE NIGHT ONLY. The letters are hand painted and uneven, but your interest is piqued as you pass another exit sign with a list of lodging - there is only a single motel. 

Turning onto the exit ramp, you feel your fatigue deepen. It’s like a tug behind your ribs, an aching exhaustion that keeps you awake long enough to draw you in but threatens to make you shut down at any moment. You reach over to turn the radio up, hoping that the playlist will keep you up long enough to navigate to the motel and crash into a bed. 

The exit ramp curves longer than it should. You rub your eyes, blinking away stars as you slow down, careful not to go off the edge of the road. Just when you start to worry the exit ramp is still going, you hear the soft crunch of gravel beneath your tires. 

Lights appear. They bloom from the darkness like fireflies, reds and golds and a violet so deep it looks like a glowing bruise in the dark. The Midnight Menagerie rises just beyond a field, the stripped tents slouching against the inky horizon, a Ferris wheel spinning lazily under the night sky.

Blinking, you catch the sign for the direction of the motel - it’s the same direction as the glittering circus so you turn right, heading down a gravel road. You crack the windows a bit and turn the radio down, needing fresh air. It smells like wet earth with a hint of burnt sugar, your senses waking up as you drive toward the bright lights. 

Trees line either side of the road. They’re covered with weeping moss, giving them the appearance of ghoulish phantoms watching your lone car pull toward the lot of the motel. It’s a tiny building with maybe ten rooms, its neon vacancy sign sputtering like it's struggling to stay alive. The letters flicker as you park, but beyond the motel looms the circus.

You kill the car engine and it ticks as it cools. Outside, the air feels strange. You inhale the smell of burnt sugar one last time, eyes drifting to the circus that looks in full swing with no one inside. Weird. You suppose it makes sense for the circus to share a lot with the motel - there seem to be no other buildings around in the dense wood. 

Still. Odd place for a circus - odd time, for a circus to be alive and running. 

Humid air clings to your skin as you get out of the car. Music drifts from the circus, the scent of sugar in the air. You can’t see the entrance, but you can hear the voice of someone calling people to the circus. For a moment, you step toward the light. You’re tired, but you haven’t been to a circus in years - and what a curious place to find one. 

The wind shifts and the voice drifts away. You blink a little dizzy, tired again. Pivoting, you head to the hotel lobby, gravel crunching beneath your feet as the alluring voice fades with the wind. 

Inside the lobby smells faintly of mildew and something sweeter underneath. A ceiling fan turns with a lazy, uneven rhythm ahead, clicking loudly. The walls are wood-paneled and warped with humidity. A single vending machine hums by the door, filled with off-brand sodas and bags of chips that look dry rotted. 

No one is around. There’s a brass bell on the counter, a computer that hums loudly, and a wall of small cabinets that you think houses keys. You glance at the small sign on the counter: NO REFUNDS. NO QUESTIONS. 

Slowly, you lift your hand to tap the brass bell. It rings out in the silence, the sound muffled by the thick air. You shift, trepidation mounting as you wait. A moment later, a door behind the counter opens and a man shuffles from the back. He’s a small man, hunched over with grey hair and a name badge that says Gus. 

“How long?” He asks, opening a cabinet at the back. No greeting. Nothing else. 

“Uh, just a night.”

He grunts and pulls out a brass key from the cabinet, shuffling to turn and bring it over to you. “We required a card down and kept in the office overnight. You can get it in the morning.”

“That seems unnecessary.”

He holds on to the key and shrugs. “It’s here or the side of the road. You pick.”

Sighing, you fish out your credit card and swap it for the brass key. It’s heavier than you expect and warm to the touch. He locks your credit card into the same cabinet the key was in, so you assume at least it’s a little secure. You mutter your thanks before shuffling out into the night again.

Outside, there’s a low fog on the ground. The crickets chirp as you sigh, squinting in the dim parking lot light to see the key number. It says seven. You cross the lot back to your car, eyeing the circus as you grab a bag from the trunk. Voices drift from beyond the fence - so there must be people, but you can’t see them.

With a shiver, you trudge toward room seven, which you realize is the last in the building block and closest to the circus fence. The paint is peeling on the door and it takes a minute to wiggle the brass key into the lock, but it opens to a small room with stale air and faint smell of moth balls.

Red shag carpet drags beneath your shoes. There is a single narrow bed, a lamp on the table that hums when you turn it on, curtains that don’t quite close, and wall paper that peels at the corners, revealing dark wood. Maybe mold. 

You toss your bag on the bed and catch your reflection in the mirror above the desk. The glass is clouded and scratched and for a second, you think you see movement behind you. You whirl, heart pounding, but there’s no one there. It’s just you and the glow of the circus coming through your window, the sound of laughter drifting through the gap underneath the door. 

A voice also drifts through the door, rising and falling. It’s a man’s voice, smooth and commanding, echoing faintly through your room.

“Step right up, step right up! The night is waiting for you.”

The sound of his voice wraps around you, slipping through the cracks of the window and through the door. It sounds like he’s speaking directly to you, telling you that he’s waiting for you. You go to the window, pulling back the curtain to peek outside.

Beyond the glass, the circus is a blur of color and motion, its lights pulsing. The tents shimmer faintly, blurred by the dirty window and warped, rusted screen. The shadow of the ferris wheel looms against the flickering parking lot light, an occasional flicker of red against the fog. 

You glance at the clock. It’s midnight exactly, and you feel a spark of energy, a tiny flame of curiosity at the circus. You can sleep right after - it’ll only take a minute to skip over to the entrance and peek into the glittering lights. 

Just a peek.

You grab your motel key, slip on your jacket and step into the night.

The parking lot hums, the asphalt cool with the fog. You tuck your hands in your pocket, the key wrapped firmly in your palm as you walk the fence of the circus, looking up at the towering red tent next to you. The closer you get to the entrance, the louder the music becomes, a dizzying waltz that seems to spin round and round.

When you round the corner, the gates of the Midnight Menagerie stand tall before you, carved from iron that gleams with midnight dew. A single lantern burns at the archway, halloween the mist in red-gold light. 

The man that the voice belongs to is there. You blink. You don’t know where he came from, but suddenly he stands at the threshold, framed by the glow. He’s dressed in a crimson coat, lapels dusted with gold threat, his smile sharp. He’s handsome as ever, with gold skin that seems to glow in the light and dark hair that is styled back with gel. 

His smile is too perfect, too sharp. His presence pulls at something deep inside of you, a tug that you can’t name. The corners of his mouth curl like he senses it, like he’s drawn to you just as much as you’re drawn to him.

“Evening,” he says, the word drifting to you. You take a step closer without meaning to, drawn to his voice. “Couldn’t sleep?”

You shake your head, unable to look away. His eyes are dark, the reflection of the lantern reflected in the glassy surface. He leans toward you a little, a crooked smile tugging at his face. “I supposed it’s only fair you get a proper welcome,” he murmurs, dropping his voice down. Your stomach flips as his grin spreads. “Most folks just wander in and get lost in the lights but… how about I show you around?”

His gloved hand extends toward you, fingers steady and inviting. The gesture feels like a question that’s already been answered. You stare at his hand, caught between the safety of your room and the unknown beyond the gate. The air grows cooler, the hum louder, and the hairs on the back of your neck prickle as if brushed by a gentle, unseen pair of lips.

Something nudges at your thoughts, a whisper, urging you forward. “I’m pretty tired,” you say slowly, eyes dragging from his hand to his eyes. His smile doesn’t falter. He nods, like he understands. “I don’t know.”

“Just a glimpse, then,” he says, voice soft as velvet. “A moment. I don’t bite.”

The nudge becomes a pull, subtle but insistent. You reach hesitantly for his hand and when your fingers meet his glove, a warmth sparks through you, electric and tingling up your arm. It feels like a pulse that tethers the two of you, your heart beating wildly as he tugs you gently toward the gate, his eyes glittering.

“Welcome,” he murmurs. “To the Midnight Menagerie. I’m Seokmin, barker, host, and tour extraordinaire. Tonight, you’ll meet our devils!”

You give Seokmin your name but it’s lost in the sound of the world unfurling around you. Lights glitter over head as Seokmin guides you through the gates, his smile easy and practiced. You follow him through the archway, the air thick with the scent of spun sugar and smoke.

The world inside the gates seems stretched, the tents rising too tall, paths curling where they shouldn’t. Music slips between pitches, drifting from a waltz to a dirge to something unplaceable. Seokmin drops your hand and wanders toward the lights, spinning toward you to outstretch his hands in show. 

“Isn’t it wonderful?”

It is. Even empty. You see none of the people that you heard earlier, but you hear laughter just on the edge of your hearing, like someone is giggling at a joke just beyond where you cannot see. Seokmin winks at you, watching as you tilt your head up to look at the slow turning of the ferris wheel.

“You should see your face right now,” he teases. “Pretty.”

That makes you blush. Seokmin beckons you and you follow, dirt crunching under your feet as he leads you deeper into the maze of tents and booths.

The deeper you go, the louder the circus hums. Sekomin keeps close, always just at your side as he tells you about each tent and the history of the circus. Sometimes his hand brushes the air near your elbow to guide you, but not quite touching. His nearness feels warm and you find yourself drawn to it, a moth to the flame. 

“Every tent belongs to one of our devils,” he says, his voice curling through the music. “Each is special on their own.”

Seokmin brings you to a small tent with red velvet curtains. There’s a gilded sign that denotes it as the Hall of Whispers. He pulls the curtain aside, gesturing for you to enter first. The hall is narrow as you pass him, his grin following you. You shiver, catching his scent of something sweet and smokey at the same time. 

Inside, the air is dense. Lanterns sway along the coordinator, glass globes filled with blue flame. Between them, gilded cages hang from the ceiling, each holding a drifting mote of light. They whisper - softly at first, but growing in volume. The sounds brush against your ears and you shiver, feeling the vibration of words you cannot understand in your ears.

“They’re memories,” Seokmin murmurs behind you, making you jump. He gives you an apologetic grin as he steps up beside you. You look up at him - you hadn’t realized how tall he is - as he cranes his neck to look at them. “They speak to those they miss.”

“What does that mean?” You ask, confused

Instead of answering, he walks ahead of you, the tails of his crimson coat brushing against the back of his legs. You follow him toward the lower cages that are eye level, motes of light twisting and dancing as you draw near. One of the cages seems to lean toward you, a tendril of pale blue flame extending. 

You start to lift your hand to reach toward it, but Seokmin lifts a hand and tuts at it, making the flame draw back. You flinch and look up at him, eyes round. 

He smiles at you. “It misses you.” He winks before turning to continue walking. “We have that in common.”

“You don’t know me.”

“Don’t I?”

The path twists until it spills out into a tent lined with paper stars. At the center is a small stage where a woman in white dances to no music. The air is chill here and you draw closer to Seokmin who stands and watches, his dark eyes focused on the stage. You look up to see only glittering lanterns that seem to float, no rafters or beams in sight. 

On stage, the woman’s feet barely touch the ground. Her expression is serene as she dances, skirts moving about the floor. Her shadow doesn’t follow, though. You notice that it sticks, slower than she is, as though it’s hesitant. Slowly, it starts to lean toward where you stand. Like with the mote of light, Seokmin makes a sound of chastisement and the shadow retreats back to the stage. 

Seokmin watches for a moment, eyes glinting as he murmurs, “She’s stuck here. She thought she could take someone’s place.”

“Whose place?”

Again, Seokmin doesn’t answer your question. He turns and leads you back outside of the tent and into the night. The air tastes like copper and sugars, the next attraction looming ahead. Seokmin leads you forward to a ring of cages, each filled with creatures that shimmer, half visible.

Your breath catches when you see translucent lions with ember eyes and serpents made of shadow and smoke. You look for the light projectors making the phantom creatures but you see none, puzzled at the clever production that makes them appear. You pass a fox with wings of silver dust and you step closer to it, fascinated. 

Heat presses against your skin, the air thickening around you as Seokmin steps up next to you, hovering as he eyes the fox as it flutters its wings, looking at you with eyes like stars. 

“They’re beautiful,” you whisper. 

“They only appear to those they hold dear.” You look at him, frowning. “Or to those full of desire. They like desire.”

You glance at him, at the soft light painting his face, the way it sharpens the line of his jaw. For a moment, the desire is something you could almost name.

He notices, of course. His eyes flick to yours, amusement curling in his voice. “Careful,” he says lightly. “The Menagerie has a way of listening.”

Seokmin offers his arm, this time. You stare at it before flicking up to see him watching you. It’s not a command, but an invitation, and though you don’t remember making the decision, your hand finds the crook of his elbow, feeling the warmth of his skin through the jacket. The contact is light, but you feel the air shift as he smiles, thrilled, and leads you to the next exhibit. 

You pass through another tent where ropes float in the air like serpents, coiling lazily in invisible currents. Seokmin reaches out and snaps his fingers, and they twist themselves into an archway of knotted silk for you to walk beneath. 

Gasping, you grin, delighted as you walk underneath them. You’ve never seen a circus filled with so much apparent magic, wondering how a little offshoot on a no-where exit has managed to have such a highly-produced event. You want to ask, but instead Seokmin keeps up the string of conversation, asking where you’re from and where you’re going.

You don’t remember what you tell him. As soon as the words are out of your mouth, they drift away like they’re not worth remembering. Only the images of the swaying ropes follow you out into the circus grounds, the smell of Seokmin as he leans in close to whisper and point at two shadows chasing one another on the carousel. 

Seokmin begins guiding you to another tent. You follow, a chill driving you closer to him. He smiles when he notices, hugging your hand closer to him as you walk. 

“You could run the whole way through this place,” he says as you walk, “And never find the same place twice. But somehow you’d end up here again.”

“Here?”

“Beside me.”

The words shouldn’t make your heart skip, but they do. The lanterns seem to flare as you enter another tent, warmth flashing your face as he leads you into the cool dark. 

“Welcome to the hall of mirrors,” he murmurs in your ear, breath warm against you. “It only shows the truth.”

The Hall of Mirrors isn’t like the other tense. It feels quiet and contemplative, the air humming. The floor creaks faintly beneath your shoes, the scent of candle wax clinging to the walls. Mirrors line the narrow corridor, not quite straight but not quite curved. Each one seems to bend differently, making the room spine.

Together, you walk carefully. At first, it’s just your reflection. You look a little tired, distorted slightly by the wavering glass. When Seokmin steps beside you, his image ripples lightly, catching your attention. You cock your head as the corner of his head catches on something invisible, and for a second, you think you see the shadow of horns.

You blink and they’re gone. It’s just Seokmin, dark eyes watching you, a soft smile on his face. He tilts his head and beckons you to keep walking, and you follow, just like you did when he’d welcomed you at the front entrance..

Each mirror seems to multiple the two of you, infinite copies walking side-by-side. Sometimes you’re close enough to touch, sometimes oceans apart. In some of the mirrors, Seokmin looks as he does now - handsome and open-faced, a charming smile on his face. In others, something ancient glitters beneath his gaze, the light around him giving the illusion that there are shadows twisting around him.

“They say this hall shows who we are,” he says as you drift. “But I think it shows who we were.”

He turns to a mirror that’s taller than others. The glass trembles faintly, rippling like the surface of a pond. He stares at it as you stand next to him, but the glass makes it seem like  you’re further away and blurry. A memory.

“Every life,” he says, “She forgets me. Every time, I have to find her again. Sometimes I find her in a crowd. Sometimes at a crossroads. Sometimes…” His eyes flicker to you in the mirror, dancing. “On a lonely highway, drawn to a strange exit.”

You want to look away, but you don’t. His words root you to the spot and you stare at the endless reflections around you. Something nags at you - the memory of something you cannot place. Earlier, Seokmin had asked why you were traveling. You cannot remember the answer. Just that you’d been driving toward something - maybe someone. 

The mirrors waver again. You look at your own reflection, watching as shadows waver around you, a smokey halo beginning to take shape. You blink and it’s gone, but Seokmin’s breath catches beside you, his eyes fixated on you, intense. 

“Endless nights I have spent welcoming people into the gates,” Seokmin whispers. “Calling, calling calling. Hoping the right one would hear me.” He steps closer, his reflection multiplying around you, his voice dropping into a hush. “Finally, you’ve heard me.”

“Me?”

As soon as you ask, you know it’s true. You feel it in your chest, a resonance that feels older than language. You don’t understand it, and you don’t understand the way the mirrors waver, but as Seokmin steps behind you, you realize he is the perfect height for you. The two of you stare at one another in the reflection, your heartbeat racing. 

For a moment, neither of you move. The air feels taut, like it's waiting for something. His hand brushes yours and you shiver as the glass ripples in front of you. You see flashes of yourself, some recognizable, others strange. Seokmin is there too, reflected dozens, hundreds, thousands of times. 

Seokmin’s words sink into you, stirring something deep and buried. A sense of familiarity pulls at you, flickering at the edges of your mind, but it’s just out of reach. You look up at him, studying his face. The dark eyes, the soft mole, the slope of his nose. You know him. You don’t know how you do, but you know it to be true. 

Suddenly, desire crashes over you. It’s not just the pull of his faze but it's something else, something deeper, an instinct you cannot tamp out. Your skin prickles with need, your pulse quickening as you turn to face him fully. He makes a sound deep in his chest when he sees the change in you and he steps forward, backing you into the cool glass of the mirror. 

Seokmin’s hands frame your face as he leans in, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that devours. The spark between you ignites into a flame. The taste of him is familiar, like spiced wine and smoke. His body presses against yours, solid and warm and you groan, clinging to him

He deepens the kiss, turning hungry. Your hands roam up his chest, fingers tangling in the lapels of his coat to pull him closer. He moans softly into your mouth, his gloved hands sliding down to your waist, gripping with a desperation that mirrors your own. 

You grab at Seokmin - his hair, his shoulders - need more, needing all of him. His teeth graze your lower lip and you arch into him, the mirror creaking behind you as you press yourself into him, trying to satiate the fire that is now a roaring inferno inside of you. 

In the mirrors around you, you catch glimpses of him. Seokmin’s image wavers as he presses wet, hot kisses down your jaw and neck, making little sounds as he sucks feverishly at your skin. Shadows coil around him like living smoke, and for a second, you see curved horns again. 

It should terrify you, the way his presence envelops you like a shadow. Instead, it ignites a fire inside of you, an ancient, insatiable hunger that radiates between the two of you. You exhale a shaky breath as he leans in, his teeth grazing your neck with deliberate precision. 

Seokmin bites down - not hard enough to break skin, but enough to send a jolt of main mingled with pleasure racing through you. His tongue soothes the sling with slow, language presses, lapping at the damaged skin, wet and warm.

Your hands tremble as they slide under his jacket, fingers tracing the hard ridges of muscle beneath his shirt. His stomach flexes under your touch, and he shivers. “That’s it,” he murmurs against your skin. “Feel me. Touch me, and know who you belong to.”

His own hands become possessive, slipping under your jacket to trace the soft curve of your hips. He pulls you flush against him, his grip unyielding. It draws out soft, involuntary whimpers from your throat and his mouth trails hot, open-mouthed kisses along your neck.

The mirrors surrounding you multiply the scene infinitely, endless versions of Seokmin pressing you against the glass, claiming you. Without warning, he spins you around and presses you against the cold glass, your breath fogging the mirror as you meet your own reflection. 

Seokmin’s body molds perfectly to yours from behind, his heat seeping through your clothes. “Stay still,” he orders, breath hot against your ear. His tongue teases your earlobe gently, teeth nipping and you moan. “Don’t move unless I tell you to.”

You nod instinctively, your body obeying before you can catch up. His hands roam greedily over you, one sliding up to cup your chest through your shirt. His thumb circles your nipple slowly, teasing. You gasp, your head falling back against his chest, but he catches your chin with his free hand, tilting your face forward.

“Eyes on the mirror,” he growls. “Look at us. See how perfectly you submit to me? My little chaos demon that needs to be called in, contained, controlled.”

You feel that same nudge to your thoughts, like he’s brushing his fingers along the very edges of your mind, your soul. It feels calming, your thoughts emptying out as his other hand dips lower, fingers deftly unbutton your pants to slip inside.

“Fuck,” he mutters, voice rough and pleased. He presses his fingers against your underwear, finding you already wet and aching for him. He retracts his hand just long enough to bite the fingertip of his glove, ripping it off with his teeth before tossing it aside. His eyes lock onto yours. “Eyes on me.”

Slowly, he slips his hand back into your pants, this time under the hem of your panties. The warmth of his bare skin against your sensitive flesh makes you gasp, your mouth falling open as his fingers tease your sticky folds. He circles your clit with agonizing slowness, building tension until you’re squirming against him.

“Beg for it,” he murmurs. “Tell me how badly you need my touch.”

“Please,” you gasp. “Please Seokmin. I need you. Please.”

His reflection smirks over your shoulder, an ethereal flicker of horns going in and out like a glitch in the fabric of your reality. “Good girl.”

Seokmin’s praise sends a rush of heat through you as one of his fingers sinks into you, drawing a breath from your lips. It feels so good, your pussy clenching around his finger as he begins to thrust shallowly, testing you. You can’t look away from the mirror, watching the way his eyes darken and his smirk grows. 

Without warning, he presses in a second finger, stretching you wider. Your forehead hits the mirror and your thoughts turn to static as you moan, “Oh god.”

“No,” he growls, free hand wrapping around your throat. He doesn’t squeeze, but you feel it for what it is - a reminder that he is in control. “God has no place here. Say my name. Worship me.”

“Seokmin,” you moan as he curls his fingers.

Stars burst behind your eyelids, but you force them open, obeying his earlier command. Your breath fogs the mirror, but you don’t dare look away from him. Your palms press flat against the glass as your knees weaken, trying to keep yourself stable. He slips his arm around your waist, holding you up while his other hand pumps in a steady, relentless rhythm. 

You whine his name again and his grin sharpens. He nips at your earlobe hard enough to make you yelp. He quickens his pace, fingers thrusting deeper, the slick sounds of your pussy filling the air. The mirror reflects all of it: you, sweaty and desperate, him, intense and hungry. 

“Come for me,” he whispers. “Be good for me. Show me that you can listen.”

His words shatter you. You come hard around his fingers, your thighs convulsing. He doesn’t stop, drawing out every tremor and ragged breath until you’re boneless against the glass and he’s holding you up. 

Before you can catch your breath, he drops to his knees behind you, pulling your pants down with a swift yank. “Spread your legs.”

Seokmin’s hands grip your ass for emphasis and you comply without hesitation, gasping as he pushes you forward, your cheek pressing against the freezing mirror. He wastes no time burying his face into your dripping cunt, his tongue delving in greedily. You take in a sharp breath, mind whiting out.

“That’s my good girl,” he murmurs against you, mouth muffled against your folds. “Just like that.

One hand reaches back to tangle in his hair, pulling. He groans in approval, nodding as he sucks at your core with fervor. “Pull harder. Show me how much you want it.”

You tighten your grip, tugging him against you, and he rewards you with a deep hum, the sound sending electric sparks up your spine. His hands knead your flesh, pulling you harder onto his mouth as he devours you like a man starved. 

It feels so good - better than anything before. You lose yourself to it, the grip of his fingers on your skin and the press of his tongue, messy and hungry, sending you into overdrive. His tongue flicks lightly over your clit, finding what makes you louder. You feel him grin against you, his lips sucking on your clit gently until you’re ready to break.

“Come again,” he demands. “Let me taste you.”

You do. He hums in approval, drinking you in until you’re quivering and light headed, barely able to stand. Your eyes flutter open as he stands, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes still burning with hunger.

Seokmin moves fast, shedding his coat and shirt, revealing golden skin stretched taut over rippling muscles. You turn to face him, pulling him into a fierce kiss. He lets you, moaning deep in his throat as he undoes his pants with one hand and pulls your shirt over your head with the other, breaking the kiss. 

His cock is thick and heard, leaking with need as he backs you up against the mirror. The cool shock of glass against your overheated skin makes you whine and he grins, nipping your bottom lip while he bends, his hands cupping the back of your thighs. 

“Up. Now.” 

You let him lift you, legs wrapping around his waist. Your mouths tangle together and he lines himself up, teasing your entrance with the tip of his cock. You trash, rolling your hips to try and meet him halfway, to help him sink in, but his hips pull back.

“Beg.” You open your eyes to find his eyes locked on yours. “Beg for it or I’m not giving it to you.”

“Please,” you plead. “Please fuck me.”

“Not good enough.”

“I want it so bad. I need it. I need you to fuck me, to take control of me. Seokmin, please.”

He grins and gives a satisfied growl, pressing a soft kiss to your jaw that feels softer than the moment allows for. He snaps his hips forward, filling you in one deep stroke. You both groan, the fit perfect, like you were made for each other. He starts moving, hips snapping with raw urgency, each thrust making you dizzy. 

“See how you take me,” he pants, burying his face in your neck. His teeth scrape against the raw skin of your throat. “Fucking made to take me, to give in to me.”

You cling to his shoulders, nails digging in. Seokmin kisses you, nudging your face to the side with his mouth. “Watch,” he murmurs, nodding to the mirror beside you.

You obey, mesmerized by the endless reflections: him fucking up into you, muscles flexing, sometimes a flicker of shadowy horns around his head, sometimes not; you, desperate and messy and panting, the tiniest little flicker of horns around your head. 

The mirrored hall amplifies every sound, your moans laced with his deep groans, the wet slap of his cock driving into you. He fucks you harder, one hand bracing on the glass beside your head, the other gripping your thigh. 

“Tell me your mind,” he growls.”

“Yours. In every life. I belong to you.”

The words set a fire inside of him. You watch the mirror as he presses into you harder, molding you to his shape - like he’s always meant to mold you, to lead you, to control you. He handles his hips, hitting that perfect spot inside you that has you crying, babbling, seeing stars. 

“Come for me,” he hisses.

You squeeze around him and come undone. He groans as you do, your walls fluttering tight around his cock. He thrusts deep a few more times before he comes, hiding his face in your neck, lips pressed to your salty skin. He holds you close as he slows and then stops, both of you trying to catch your breath.

When he pulls back, you glance up, dizzy and sated. Dark horns catch the low light, real and velvet under your tentative touch as you run your fingers through his hair to the base. He groans, dropping his face to your neck, breathing you in like sustenance.

You crumpled the newspaper in your hands and threw it onto the floor of the car. The black dress you wore to your father's funeral only hours ago spilled across the backseat.

"Missing?" You scoffed. kicking the back of the driver's seat in front of you.

"Missing." The gruff voice of the driver affirmed.

"He's dead, Seungcheol." You kicked his seat again.

"Stop that." He warned, another kick. "Better the public be left a bit in the dark than everyone know our business."

"Who cares?" You sneered. Seungcheol caught your eyes in the rearview mirror.

"They will kill you too, Y/N." He reminded you grimly.

You kicked the back of his chair one more time before slumping in your seat and watching the city pass out the window. This was not your first time riding in the back of Seungcheol's car, and it certainly would not be your last. He has been by your side for as long as you can remember, taking care of you.

He was loyal, he was protective, he was ruthless. He was everything your father looked for in a successor.

However, that's not what Seungcheol was to you. Seungcheol was safe, he was consistent, he was your best friend. He watched you grow up, and he would likely look after you like an older brother for the rest of his life. That was just your dynamic.

"Are you gonna pout the whole way there?" He pulled you out of your thoughts.

"Maybe." You crossed your arms over your chest.

"Brat." He chuckled darkly.

"It would help if I knew where we were going." You informed him, leaning forward and hooking your chin over his seat.

"Somewhere safe." He stated simply and reached back to stroke your hair softly. He turned the corner down a nondescript alleyway. You watched out the windshield as a garage door opened and he eased the car inside.

Something sank in your stomach as the door closed behind the car.

Seungcheol slipped out of the car and began talking in hushed tones with the man behind the counter. The other man was tall and slender, his coveralls obstructed the cut of his body. They bunched around his waist, his facial features were strong and a mop of dark hair swept across his forehead. He wiped the grease from his hands with a rag as he eyed Seunghcheol warily.

You pretended to not be watching their every move as they began to walk toward the car. Seungcheol pulled your door open.

"Stop eavesdropping." He pulled you up by your arm. "This is Seokmin. He has graciously agreed to be your host until we figure some of this out."

"A safe house?" You eyed the two men curiously.

"More or less." Seungcheol agreed. He skirted the back of the car and popped the trunk open. "Let me work out the details, grab your stuff." You watched him deposit your two suitcases onto the floor of the garage.

"Here." Seokmin held out a set of keys. He held one brass key between his pointer finger and his thumb. "This is the key to the apartment, the door is there." He gestured to the door behind the desk. "There's a flight of stairs just inside the door, it leads to the kitchen. You can either leave your stuff there or put those in the second bedroom on the right. There are only two bedrooms, so it'll be easy to tell which one is yours." He flashed you a wide smile.

Seungcheol watched you unlock the door and close it behind you before turning back to Seokmin.

"Thank you for agreeing to this on short notice." Seungcheol breathed.

"That is an adult woman." Seokmin's smile dropped.

"She's 24." Seungcheol deadpanned. "She's also a brat, needing protection, and my best friend in the entire world."

"I thought that was me." Seokmin joked. "Or Jeonghan?"

"Anyway." Seungcheol's ears reddened. "Some ground rules; do not sleep with her, do not fall in love with her, and above all keep her safe."

"Sure, Seungcheol." Seokmin rolled his eyes. "Can I know why?"

"Privileged information." Seungcheol sighed.

"Of course." Seokmin muttered. "Always is."

Seokmin found you standing in the kitchen, still clutching your bags in your hands. Your knuckles were white as you faced away from where he came up the stairs from the shop. The top step creaked with the weight of him.

"Y/N?" He broke the silence. "Are you okay?" He watched you startle at the sound of his voice. You attempted to wipe your eyes without letting go of your suitcase before you turned to him. There was dark makeup streaking down your face and your eyes were bloodshot. "Oh..Y/N.." He sighed, not entirely knowing how to comfort you.

"Don't pity me." You told him, barely above a whisper.

"Can I show you to your room?" He asked, reaching out for one of your suitcases. You gladly handed it over and nodded. "Come this way." He smiled. His smile was nothing short of dazzling, you had never seen one like it.

He side stepped around you and began down the small hallway, the two of you pass the first bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, you could see his neatly made bed and a well pressed set of pajamas on top of the dresser. "That's my room, you'll be right next door." He said gently as he opened the door to the next room, your room. He gestured for you to enter ahead of him.

You shuffled past him into the room.

"This is your room, I'm sorry it's not all that exciting, if I had known you were coming…" He offered sheepishly.

"It's fine, thank you for letting me stay." Your voice cracked.

"Oh of course!" He brightened. "Friends of Cheol are friends of mine!"

"Right," you heaved your suitcase onto the bed. "Because you're in the organization, right?"

"No. I just fix their cars." He laid your second suitcase on the bed. "Your bathroom is through that door, closet and dressers are open for you." He added.

"Noted." You slipped your own pajamas out from the suitcase. "So you knew my father?"

"Who is your father?"

"My father was Frank."

Seokmin felt his stomach drop so far he feared it would fall out of his ass.

"You're Frank's daughter?" His eyes grew wide.

"The very same."

"What happened, Y/N?"

"Don't ya read the paper?" You asked sitting on the edge of the bed. "He 'disappeared' on Saturday." You rolled your eyes. "His funeral was this morning."

"So he's dead."

"Yes."

"Y/N, I'm so sorry…" He offered, hand reaching toward you until he realized he doesn't know you well enough, and dropped it to his side.

"I'm not." You shrugged. Seokmin's mouth opened and closed, unsure what to say. "His body was delivered to Seungcheol's front step early Sunday morning. Nasty stuff."

"Oh my God.."

"But that's the price we pay for the life we live." You smiled sadly. "Seungcheol's in charge now, if you were wondering."

"Do you know…" He started.

"I don't know anything aside from what I just told you. You'll have to ask Cheol." You bit more harshly than you meant to.

"Right." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, if you need anything I'm right next door, and you're welcome to anything in the kitchen, what's mine is yours. Okay?"

"Okay." You agreed, smoothing your palms down your black skirt.

"I'll probably be at work by the time you wake up, so please, help yourself." He moves to exit the room before stopping in his tracks. "Goodnight, Y/N."

After he left you changed into your pajamas and washed your face. You wandered aimlessly around the room for hours, wondering if it was worth it to unpack. How long will you be here?

Seokmin could hear you from the other the side of the wall. Your restless footsteps and the conversation from earlier echoing in his mind until he finally succumbed to sleep.

No matter hard you tried, you did not sleep a wink.

Two honks of a car horn sounded outside Seokmin's shop early the next morning. The car drives in through the garage door as Seokmin opens it.

"Good morning, Seokmin!"

"Good morning, Mingyu." Seokmin laughs. "What did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything." Mingyu defended as he stepped out of the car. "Cheol sent me on a stakeout and the goons shot out my back window and bent in my back bumper."

"They shot out your window and you still let them get close enough to dent your bumper?"

"You sound like Cheol." Mingyu pouted.

"No, just a confused mechanic." Seokmin corrected before walking a slow circle around the car. "Damn, Gyu, seriously did you just not drive away?"

"I backed into them after they shot at me." Mingyu admitted. "Is that what you wanna hear? You gonna snitch?"

"No." Seokmin narrowed his eyes. "It's going to be a few hours. Sticking around?"

"No other choice." Mingyu shrugged.

Seokmin got started clearing the shattered glass from the back of the car. Mingyu held a cloth out for him to deposit the glass into. "How's she settling in?" He asked.

"Oh, uh," Seokmin knocked a few shards of glass loose. "She's doing okay. About as well as you can do in her situation."

"Do you even know her situation?"

"I can sympathize with her being ripped from everything she knows suddenly." Seokmin informed him. "I don't need to know everything to know she's going through a hard time."

"I guess so." Mingyu agreed. "Is she annoying?"

"No."

"Lucky you." Mingyu snorted.

"What are you talking about?" Seokmin rolled his eyes.

"She's usually so annoying."

"Tell me more about her." Seokmin said, grabbing a trash can for the glass.

"She's real good at poker, she's smart." Mingyu thought for a moment. "She's got Cheol wrapped around her finger, but that's nothing compared to what she can get people to do for her, even on her own."

"So I should watch out is what you're saying?"

"Not exactly, she's nice, she just gets what she wants."

"Who does? Yewon?" The sound of your voice startled both of the men in front of you.

"Oh!" Mingyu smiled in that way he always did when he was going to try to lie to you.

"Don't lie, big guy." You warned him. "Talking about me? Can't resist, can you?"

"Y/N.." Mingyu started.

"It's okay!" You smiled. You looked so vicious that Seokmin was surprised you didn't have razor sharp teeth. "Tell me what you were saying."

"He was complimenting your intelligence, said you were good at poker." Seokmin told you, beginning to examine the bumper on Mingyu's car.

"Oh!" You clapped your hands. "Let's show Seokmin how good I am at poker." You pushed off the wall and strode toward Mingyu.

"I don't know…"

"Come on, Kim." You grabbed the deck of cards from his back pocket. "I'll suck you off, right out there." You pointed toward the alley.

"What do you get if you win?" He gulped.

"Seungcheol's telegraph indicator," You smirked. Mingyu shifted his weight from foot to foot, considering his options.

"Fine." He spat finally.

"Perfect."

The thing about Kim Mingyu, is that he isn't bad at poker. You were simply, better. He grumbled at you from across the table as he scribbled down Seungcheol's telegraph indicator for you.

"Here." He shoved the scrap of paper toward you.

"Don't be a sore loser, Kim." You jumped up from the table and ruffled his hair.

"Would it kill you to be less annoying?"

"You want me so bad it makes you look stupid." You smiled.

"I do not 'want you'"

"Explain your obsession with me on my knees for you then!"

"I'm not entertaining this conversation, Y/N." Mingyu crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine, suit yourself. " You shrugged.

"Seok, is my car ready?" Mingyu groaned.

"Just about." Seokmin eyed the two of you from the car. He killed the engine and held the keys out to Mingyu. "Get outta here."

"Gladly." Mingyu practically ripped the keys from Seokmin's hand and sank down into the driver's seat. "Thanks Seok."

"Just doing my job." Seokmin nodded.

"Y/N?" Mingyu called sheepishly. You hummed in response. "Don't send him anything until I've been gone for at least an hour, please?"

"Scared of getting in trouble, one of Kim Mingyu's fatal flaws." You snickered. "I'll be sure to include a full report of this in my communications."

"Fuck you, Y/N."

"You'd like that, Kim."

Choi — Come see me. You owe me. — Yours.

Seungcheol sighed and laid his head in his hands. He allowed himself a few minutes to be angry before he took his coat off the rack.

"I have to go to Seok's." He muttered, reaching for the doorknob. ""If anybody needs anything, you're in charge. Two hours, tops."

"Miss her already?" The only other man in the room laughed.

"No, Jeonghan." He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "She fucking telegraphed me."

"Oh somebody's in trouble."

"Yeah. somebody."

"You came!" You ran into Seungcheol's arms from the front door of the apartment.

"Of course I did." He wrapped his arms around you but you could tell that he was frustrated. "What do you need, kid?"

"Answers."

"Y/N.." He held you at arms length. "I don't have any."

"Yes you do." You shook his hands off of your shoulders. "Sit. Coffee?" He sank into one of the kitchen chairs as you bustled about Seokmin's kitchen. You retrieved a mug from the drying rack.

"You seem like you've settled in nicely." Seungcheol noticed.

"Yeah, yeah." You dismissed him with a wave of your hand before pouring fresh coffee into the mug. You slid it across the table toward him. "Answers, Choi."

"Y/N, you know everything I know." You narrowed your eyes and considered him for several minutes. He shifted under your gaze, uncomfortable in the growing silence. "He owed them money." He finally blurted out.

"So they killed him?"

"Yes." He scrubbed his face with his hand. "He was shit at poker, you know? He went out to their casinos, always said he'd pay the pot the next time. He got sloppy. He thought they didn't have the nerve to do what they did."

"You told him he's not invincible, I'm sure." You poured a mug of coffee for yourself.

"Of course I did." He rolled his eyes. "But he was an asshole. He never thought about anything but himself."

"When do I get to leave?" You let the warm coffee soothe your nerves.

"Y/N.." He started.

"I won't succumb to your tender tone, Choi." You cut. His eyes darted around the room, the message his body language was sending was not lost on you. You commanded attention in every room you enter, you had a voice and you knew how to use it. Not unlike Seungcheol. Not unlike someone else.

"You sound just like Frank sometimes." Seungcheol muttered.

"Don't compare me to him."

"Why?" He sneered. "Is that not what you wanted?"

"No." You said definitively. "Just tell me the plan so that I know what to expect."

"I don't have one." He gritted his teeth.

"Figure it out!"

"You know you're a pain in my ass, right?" He reached for your hand.

"Have been for 14 years." You grabbed his hand. "Figure it out." You urged him again.

"I'm going to kill them, I just…" He shoved his free hand through his hair. "I just need to figure out where they are."

"Ask Junhui for help." You stated, as if it was simple. To you, it was. "He knows everything about everyone in the city. If he doesn't know Minghao will."

"How do you know my men better than I do?" He sighed.

"Because I listen to them." You shrugged. "That and the fact that I'm not up Yoon Jeonghan's ass."

"I'm not…" His ears reddened. "That's not relevant."

"Sure it isn't." You smiled.

"I'll get it figured out. I promise." He wore circles into your skin with his thumb. "I don't know how long it'll take, Y/N. It could take years to get everything worked in our favor. Are you prepared for that?"

"If I must." You sighed dramatically and looked around the room.

"How are you settling in?" He squeezed your hand.

"Seokmin is very nice." You informed him. "I feel safe."

"He is the nicest person I know." Seungcheol agreed.

"Why here though?" You asked, lowering your voice.

"No one will suspect you here." Seungcheol told you honestly. "We just get our cars fixed here, he's not a part of this."

"Why isn't he?" You asked. "If the two of you are so close."

"Not from lack of trying." He chuckled. "I've been asking him since I met you."

"Interesting…"

"Y/N, no funny business, I'm serious." He warned you.

"I won't, just…interesting that someone can choose a different life…"

"Don't wait up for her." Mingyu knocked on the poker table nestled in the back of the Speakeasy twice. The girl shuffling the cards, waiting to deal to the men sitting around her, looked up questioningly. "She ain't coming, won't be for a while."

"What did you do to that girl, Mingyu?" She huffed, passing out the cards.

"Me?" He laughed. "You think I have the power to do anything to Cheol's little canary?"

"Is this guy bothering you, Tzuyu?" One of the men at the table piped up.

"No?" Tzuyu rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to get information about my friend, idiot."

"Soonyoung I'll gut you with your own knife before you could even notice it's gone." Mingyu threw Soonyoung's knife across the table.

"Fuck you, asshole." Soonyoung slumped in his seat.

"So, it was Seungcheol?" Tzuyu turned back to Mingyu. Mingyu shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess she's staying with someone, laying low."

"Laying low." Tzuyu snorted. "You sure you're talking about Y/N?"

"Wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it." Mingyu rolled his eyes.

"Well thanks for checkin'." She sighed. "Now, scram, somebody's been waiting for you for hours." She gestured to the woman behind the bar.

Mingyu slid up to the bar, in front of the pretty girl pouring a glass of scotch.

"Hey pretty, heard you been waitin' for me?" His lopsided grin catching her eye.

"Who said that?"

"Tzuyu."

"Well Tzuyu is a liar and a gossip." She placed the glass in front of Mingyu and crossed her arms over her chest.

"She's also your best friend and doesn't lie about you." He sipped his drink. "So you want to tell me what's really goin' on?"

"Nothing is going on, Mingyu."

"Now who's a liar, Yewon?"

"Did you see Y/N this week?" Yewon narrowed her eyes.

"I did." He sighed. "Why?"

"Play any games?" She spat.

"Yes." He sighed. "But obviously I didn't win."

"Unbelievable."

"Yewon."

"Stop doing that!" She stomped her foot. She leaned over the bar, getting into his space. "I'll suck you off, whenever, you don't even need to win at poker." She informed him, her voice low.

"When-whenever?" Mingyu gulped.

"God! Men only want one thing!" She shrieked.

"You offered!"

"Offered what?" A gravely voice asked. Mingyu turned to see Seungcheol slide onto the bar stool next to him.

"Head." Yewon deadpanned before turning to retrieve a glass.

"It is not my business what my subordinates do in their free time." Seungcheol muttered. "But you really gotta stop stringing this girl along."

"How is this my fault?" Mingyu whined.

"Stop whatever you're doing with Y/N." Seungcheol insisted. Yewon eyed Mingyu as she poured another scotch for Seungcheol.

"How do you know about that?"

"How else would she have been able to get a hold of me this morning?" Seungcheol asked, downing the majority of the glass in one gulp.

"You didn't leave her your contact information?" Mingyu bluffed.

"Why would I need to when I have idiots like you giving it away?" Seungcheol pat Mingyu's cheek and tossed a few dollars onto the bar before sulking out the door.

The curtains on the window fluttered in the cold February evening wind. It took a moment for Seokmin to register what he was looking at — the window of your bedroom was open and he did not see you. Anxiety settled in the pit of his stomach, Seungcheol would kill him if he found out that you ran away. Then, he would find you and you would suffer the same fate.

He allowed himself roughly three seconds of rational thought, in which he checked your bathroom. Your towel was hung neatly next to the bathtub, intricate bottles of different perfumes were lined up on the sink. The one in the pink bottle must be your favorite, it was closer to running out than the rest. He wondered if this is the perfume he smelled on you, its sweet scent floating around the apartment for the last month.

"Y/N?" He called haphazardly as he closed the door to the bathroom gently. He strained to hear anything in the silence, nothing. He moved to the window, looking down past the fire escape.

"You just gonna stand there?"

Seokmin jumped at the sound of your voice, bumping his head on the open window. He sucked cool air through his teeth, hissing in pain. "Be careful!" You stifled a laugh, "don't want my caretaker to get too hurt."

"What are you doing out here?" He breathed. He watched you shrug, the smoke from the cigarette perched between your fingers curling around you delicately.

"I wanted to smoke, and to think."

Seokmin climbed through the window and made his way over to you. You moved aside, just enough for him to have room to sit next to you on the stairs. You tried to ignore the press of his thigh against your own. You offered the cigarette to him.

"Think about what?" He asked, taking the cigarette between his own fingers. You watched his delicate lips wrap around the end and inhale lightly. His sputtering coughs broke the silence of the night around you.

"Have you never smoked before?" You laughed.

"Not in a while." He coughed, tears filling his clear eyes. "Don't laugh at me!"

"I'm not, I'm not!" You covered your mouth with your hand. He slipped the cigarette back between your fingers. You took another long drag.

"Answer my question." He diverted, bumping his knee into yours.

"Oh, I don't know." You watched the smoke climb toward the sky. "Everything, the last month has not been..easy." You sighed. He watched your movements, committing them to memory. "You're a great host."

"But?"

"But," you chuckled. "I miss my life. I miss the bar, I miss poker, Hell, I even miss Seungcheol."

"That makes sense." He assured you. "Even missing Cheol makes sense, he was a big part of your life, even if he is annoying."

"He is a big part of my life," you corrected him. "He is so annoying though."

"Tell me about your life."

"Well," you glanced at him. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything."

"Anything." You couldn't help the blush creeping up your cheeks at his attention. "Well, Seungcheol is my best friend. So by extension Yoon Jeonghan is my best friend. They, uh, they kind of raised me." You shivered as the wind picked up.

"When did you meet him?" Seokmin wrapped his arms around you without thinking. You were cold, he could help.

"When I was 10." You melted into his touch. "He was 16, and my father brought him into the organization. Glorified babysitter, but Cheol needed a place to go and Frank gave him that."

"I remember when he joined." Seokmin mumbled, tracing shapes into your arm over your sleeve. You shuttered, not due to the cold.

"That was when I first learned what my father did." You admitted. "My mother passed, that's why I had to live with Frank. He had no idea how to raise a kid, that's where Cheol came in. Not sure what he thought would come of letting a 16-year-old raise his kid."

"You don't call him dad, Frank I mean" It wasn't a question.

"No, I don't." You take one last drag from the cigarette. "He was never deserving of the title."

"What next?" He asked leaning his cheek on the top of your head.

"I don't know." You admitted quietly. "Do I ever get to leave your apartment again?"

"I don't know." He felt like he was just punched in the stomach. The two of you let the silence hang in the air for several minutes. Seokmin didn't move, his arms still firmly around your shoulders.

"I'd like to have a family some day." You whisper, he barely heard you say it. "A real one."

"You will." Seokmin assured you. "It'll happen." You shivered again. "Let's get you inside, you'll get sick out here."

You didn't protest as he pulled you up and helped you through the window. He closed the window and locked it as you shuffled to the bathroom to change. He drew back the covers for you. You settled into bed and Seokmin tucked you in gently. He turned to leave and was almost out the door before you called out to him.

"Seokmin?" He turned and hummed in response. "It's not that…it's not that I want to leave your apartment. It's not that."

"I know, Y/N." He smiled. "You should be able to live your life any way you please. If that includes me even after you're free from me, I would like that."

"Okay.." You blushed. "Do you think Cheol will find them? Realistically."

"If he can't, I have no idea who possibly could." He assured you. "You'll be free someday. I know it."

"Goodnight, Seokmin."

"Goodnight, Y/N."

Seokmin laid awake for hours, cursing himself for admitting he wants to keep you around. How embarrassing to feel the way he does for you when he was explicitly told not to.

You stared at your makeup neatly stacked on the counter of your bathroom. Your fingers drummed on the edge of the sink as your face twisted in quiet contemplation.

"Fuck it." You muttered to yourself before grabbing your rouge off of the top of the pile. It felt nice, almost normal, to apply your makeup. You swiped the mascara brush across the cake in the pan and brought it to your eyelashes. Leaning over the sink to get a better look in the mirror you applied it carefully.

Taking a step back you take in your appearance. You look like the you that came to Seokmin's apartment a month ago, but you feel different. You had not heard a word from Seungcheol in days, none of the men from the organization had come to see you either. You could only hope that this meant he hit the ground running on finding the men who killed Frank.

Moreover, you were starting to enjoy Seokmin's company more and more. He talked to you like a friend, like someone worth talking to. Not someone who had a scary father who could kill him if he said the wrong thing. He liked talking to you because of who you were, not your position in the organization.

You ran your hands through your hair and headed down to Seokmin's shop.

"Good afternoon, sleepy head." He greeted you from underneath a car as you stepped into the garage.

"I've been awake for hours." You informed him, slipping into the passengers seat of the car. "What's this one in for?"

"Simple oil change." He replied. "It's Soonyoung's, he'll be back tomorrow to pick it up."

"Oh." You deflated, sad to have missed him. "How long do oil changes last?" You heard him roll out from underneath the car and approach your side of the car. His eyes searched your face, surprised for a moment at your makeup. He leaned on the open window, his pretty fingers wrapped around the window frame.

"20 minutes."

"What?" You burst out laughing. "He couldn't wait for 20 minutes?"

"Apparently not." He laughed along with you. "What's the occasion?"

"Nothin'" You turned the rearview mirror to face you and patted your lipstick with your pinky. "Wanted some normalcy I guess." You shrugged and turned back to him.

Before he had a chance to respond two honks sounded from outside the garage.

"Go upstairs." He pleaded. "I'm not expecting anyone and I don't want you to get hurt, or found out." You nodded and bolted up the stairs and into the apartment.

You spent the majority of that afternoon pacing around the apartment and waiting for Seokmin to come upstairs. You didn't hear any gunshots or sounds of struggle downstairs so you assumed it was just a typical customer.

At around 4 o'clock you decided it was time to settle in. You washed the makeup off of your face and drew yourself a bath. You dangled your fingers in the water, the warmth spreading through your body. Lowering yourself into the tub, you sighed.

You let the warm water lap at your skin as you closed your eyes. The last month or so had been such a break from your normal life. You missed everyone, you missed having your own life.

You aren't sure how long you stayed there, in the warmth of the bath, thinking about your past freedom before you heard Seokmin knock on your bedroom door. You scrambled to dry yourself and empty the tub. You wrapped yourself in your lace negligee before you answered the door.

"Yes?" You looked up at him. His eyes grew wide as he took in your appearance, wet hair, negligee with nothing underneath. A blush creeped up his neck as his eyes moved swiftly to the ceiling. "Seokmin?"

"Oh, uh." He shifted his weight. "I can uh.."

"They're just nipples, Seokmin." You smirked.

"Right, well," He tried to look at you but failed. "Dinner's ready." He told the ceiling.

"Oh thank you." You begin to close the door. "Let me change because it seems the human body makes someone uncomfortable."

The fire escape had started to be, in your mind, a small act of defiance. Seungcheol did not want you to step a foot outside of this apartment, so you stepped a few feet to the left of it, above the alley. Sometimes Seokmin joins you, other times he leaves you alone. His company is appreciated, but you do like being alone at times. The air was beginning to hint at a warm spring and you couldn't wait. There was still a chill in the air now, March almost halfway through.

Seokmin kept you warm, his large frame shielding you from the wind. You watched, almost shamelessly, as smoke curled out of his mouth. He had been practicing smoking in his time with you on the fire escape. He didn't choke on the inhales anymore. He hands the cigarette back to you.

"So," you took a long drag and exhaled away from him. The wind caught the smoke and whisked it away down the street. "What do you do for fun? I've been here two months and I haven't seen you do much beyond working, cooking, and going to bed."

"Well," he chuckled. "I like to read, I do a lot of reading in my room before bed."

"You're such a flat tire." You smiled.

"I am not!" He bumped his shoulder to yours. "Just because I don't have some big scary life like you got, don't mean I'm boring!"

"Sure, sure."

"What do you do then?"

"I drink." You shrugged.

"I do that sometimes, just hard with the laws." He nodded. "Cheol has that speakeasy on hand though, doesn't he?"

"Mhmm." You smiled. "Miss it."

"I've got some liquor in the cabinet." Seokmin offered. "Gift from Jeonghan for my birthday."

"When was your birthday?"

"Last month."

"And you didn't think to mention it?" You sprang up and crushed the cigarette under your shoe. "We're celebrating, come on!" You pulled him to his feet and didn't let go of his hand as you led him back through the window.

You dragged him to the kitchen and only let go of his hand when you opened the cabinet that housed his drinking glasses. Seokmin pulled the bottles of liquor down from where they rested. He watched you reach up on your toes and still couldn't reach. He slid in behind you and grabbed the glasses, his free hand ghosting over your hip.

The alcohol is smooth and warms your belly, toasts exchanged and more glasses poured.

Your vision was beginning to blur around the edges when Seokmin piped up from where he was sitting.

"You're real pretty, you know?"

You stiffened at his words, warmth creeping up your neck. You weren't sure if it was from the alcohol or his words.

"You're drunk." You pointed out. He hummed in response.

"Yeah, I guess.." He agreed. "But that doesn't take away the fact that you're pretty."

On any other day, and if it was any other man, you would pounce on this opportunity. A handsome man calling you pretty, alcohol in your system. You squeezed your thighs together. However, this was Seokmin, the nice man who took you in and let you stay. You couldn't ruin this.

"What's on your mind, pretty girl?"

"I can't leave this apartment." You deflected. "I'm missing everything out there."

"I know.." He sighed. You watched as he tilted the remaining contents of his glass into his mouth. His Adam's Apple bobbled as he swallowed. "I wish I could do something for you, trust me, I want to."

"Give me your glass." You requested, standing up as the room began to spin. He did as you asked and you wobbled to the kitchen, filling his glass with water and returning to him. "Drink." You told him. You stood in front of him and held the glass to his lips. He looked up at you, clear eyes staring at you like you hung the stars in the sky. He sipped the water as he wrapped his arms around your thighs from where he sat in his chair. When he had drank to your satisfaction you placed the glass on the table next to him.

Seokmin snaked his arms further up on your hips and began to drag you into his lap. You let him. This would not go too far, you were too drunk and so was he, but no shame in getting a bit closer, right?

His hips were caged between your knees as you straddled him. His face was so close to yours that you thought he might kiss you. The thought of that scared and excited you.

"Can I ask you something?" He whispered, his breath hot on your lips. You nodded. "Have you actually…been intimate with Mingyu?" You must have pulled back in your surprise because suddenly his hand was on the back of your head, pulling you back in.

"No." You searched his face. "He never wins at poker, how could I stray from my word?"

"Is that how you determine someone is worth it?"

"Just Mingyu."

"Got it.." He glanced at your lips. "I don't know if I can beat you at poker.."

"Seokmin, tell me to stop messing with Mingyu." Your breath hitched in your throat as his fingers tangled in your hair.

"You're your own person I could never—"

"You should tell me to stop messing with Mingyu." You interjected, eyes serious and set on his.

"Oh. Oh." He sighed. "Stop messing with Mingyu, Y/N. Please."

"Why?" You challenged. His eyebrows knit together in confusion for a moment before he surged forward, the hand on the back of your head pushing you forward. His lips were on yours before you had a second to react. Butterflies exploded in your stomach, you hadn't expected this. Your lips began to move in tandem with his as he took control of the kiss. His tongue swiped across your bottom lip, you parted your lips for him to explore your mouth. He tasted of the alcohol that was on your breath as well.

"Is this okay?" He asked, pulling away breathlessly. You nodded silently. Seokmin had never seen you at a loss for words. "What's wrong?"

"I've..uh.." You avoided his eyes. "I've never kissed anyone before.."

"Y/N.." Seokmin blinked at you.

"God." You sighed, throwing your head back and looking at the ceiling. "This is so embarrassing."

"But I thought.."

"Fucking people and kissing people are two different things."

"You've been fucking the wrong people." He stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Sometimes I don't let them kiss me." You whispered. "And sometimes they don't even try."

"So why did you let me?"

"I always thought a first should be saved for someone who looks at me like I'm more than all the money in the world." You smiled sadly. Seokmin felt heat rising to his cheeks.

"And I was a worthy first kiss?"

"Absolutely." You assured him. "I just wasn't expecting it. Warn a girl, huh?"

"Alright," he chuckled. "Can I take you to bed?"

"Seokmin! I am a lady!" You swat his chest.

"Not like that!" A deep blotchy red blush spreads across his cheeks. "It's late…"

"Right, right.." You eyed him. "Let's go then." He watched you climb off of his lap and practically skip to your bedroom.

You wash your face and change into your pajamas in the bathroom. Your smiling face stared back at you from the mirror, you were practically giddy. You heard Seokmin knock on the bedroom door. He watched your head poke out from the bathroom.

"Goodnight Y/N." He smiled at you.

"Goodnight Seokmin," You watched him turn towards his bedroom. "Wait!"

"Yes?"

"Will you…will you just lay with me?" You asked shyly. He nodded.

The sheets were cool as you slipped underneath the duvet. Seokmin laid on top of the blankets. He watched you settle in, your eyes heavy. He turned to face you, his nose almost touching yours. You tilted your chin until your lips brushed his. He closed the distance for you, his mouth pressed firmly to yours.

You don't know how long he stayed, just kissing you, before returning to his own bedroom with a promise of 'see you tomorrow.'

"I'm making coffee." You stated as Seokmin slipped into the kitchen.

"Surprised you're up." He mumbled. "Toast?"

"No, just coffee."

"How's your head?" He slotted the bread into the electric toaster on the counter.

"How's yours?" You eyed him.

"Awful!" He smiled. You watched as he carefully removed the slice of bread, turned it to toast the other side, and closed the toaster again. "Have something greasy, for the hangover."

"Coffee's fine." You assured him as you poured a mug for him and slid it across the counter. Turning back to pour yourself one you heard him hum in appreciation. You watched him fish the toasted bread out of the machine and slather it in butter before popping the corner in his mouth and picking the mug back up. He moved toward the door and pinched your hip softly as he passed. The words he attempted to say were garbled by the piece of bread in his mouth. "What?" You laughed. He tore it from his mouth, a perfect bite missing from the corner.

"I told you to eat something."

"Got it, shoo." You waved him off.

"Eat something, please!" His voice bounced off the walls of the kitchen as his footsteps rung out down the stairs. You smiled to yourself as you prepared toast and added in some bacon to get the grease he suggested.

Feeling only a small fraction better than you did before you ate, you flopped onto your bed. Your eyes wandered around the room, catching on something hanging in your closet. A beautiful little dress that Yewon gave you before your father was murdered. You scrambled up and took the fabric between your fingers. Off white, sparkly, and layers of fringe.

You sat back on the bed and stared at the dress. The wheels in your mind were turning, you looked amazing in that dress, such a shame you don't get to wear it, right? You practically skipped to your bathroom, giddy about what you were about to do.

Your rollers were hot against your scalp as you rouged your knees. Once satisfied you moved on to your cheeks. You liked a lot of blush on the apples of your cheeks. You thought it made you look flushed, men might like that. You hoped Seokmin would like that. Lips cherry red and cheeks flushed.

The curls framed your face nicely once your rollers were out and the dress fit you like a glove. Something was missing, you lightly touched your neck and turned to your jewelry box. Your favorite string of pearls caught your eye immediately. You wrapped it once around your neck and tied the end in a knot. Smiling at yourself in the mirror you gave yourself one last once over before grabbing your kitten heels and practically flew down the stairs.

The garage was empty when you arrived.

Seokmin's head whipped up as he heard the door open. His eyes raked down your body, his mouth falling open.

"Shut your mouth." You teased, prancing over to him. "You'll catch flies."

"What are you doing?" He asked incredulously.

"What?" You twirled, the fringe of the dress standing on end. "Can't a girl look pretty?"

"Of course you can," he sighed, catching your hips with his hands. "But why right now? While I'm at work…"

"You're right." You blinked up at him, feigning innocence. "Isn't it time for lunch?" You flip the sign on the front door to closed and grab his arm. Seokmin lets you drag him up the stairs back to the apartment, only stopping you when you get to the kitchen at the top of the stairs.

"Y/N…" He searched your face. "What is this?"

"Let me take care of you." You flutter your lashes up at him. His coveralls were tied around his waist, his white t-shirt fit him like a glove. Your fingers worked at the sleeves knotted around his middle and then you worked the rest of them down around his ankles. His cock was hardening underneath the fabric separating him from being bare to you. "Please?" You licked your lips. He could only nod and bite back a whimper. You hooked your fingers around the fabric and pulled it down with you as you sank to your knees in front of him.

Seokmin rested a hand on top of your head as you took him in your hand. You began to pump him slowly as you pressed kisses to his hips. Your red lipstick stained his skin. His cock was red and leaking over your fingers already, even at the slightest stimulation. "Eager." You mutter into his skin.

"Don't make fun of me.." He whispered.

"Never." You promised and swiftly took his tip into your mouth. You swirled your tongue around the bulbous head experimentally, tasting the salty essence of him bloom in your mouth. He let out a soft whine above you, which only egged you on further. You hollowed out your cheeks and took him further into your warm mouth. His cock twitched on your tongue as you took him as deep as you could. You took the rest of his length in your hand and pumped in time with the bobbing of your head. Seokmin thrusted down your throat a few times, in spite of himself.

"I'm sorry." He whined as he tried to still his hips. You took a hold of his hips and began to move them to simulate a thrusting motion. You wanted him to use you. He took you hint and began to slowly fuck your mouth. "Y/N…I'm…" He cut himself off with a shameless moan, his hips sputtering. He was so close, you licked up the bottom of his shaft and let him continue chase his high. He choked out a whine as hot white ropes hit the back of your throat. You swallowed everything he gave you before he began softening in your mouth.

His fingers wrapped around your string of pearls and he pulled you off of him by it. The string snapped and pearls scattered around the kitchen as he crashed his lips to yours. His tongue was in your mouth, you tasted like him. He didn't care. Mapping out every inch of your mouth his kiss was hot and desperate.

He tore himself away from you, the two of you panting. "I have to go back to work. I'll take care of you when I get back, I promise." He smoothed your hair down.

"Don't take too long." You warned. "I might start without you."

Seokmin ran back up the stairs, skipping two at a time, after the shop closed that evening. You heard him coming, smiling wickedly to yourself, you waited for him in his bed.

"Y/N!" He called, completely bypassing his own room to run to yours. When he didn't find you he backtracked to his own. He took in the scene in front of him. You were naked in his bed, hand between your thighs. He stared at your hand.

"I told you I'd start without you." You stated simply.

"Show me." He choked.

"Hm?" You began to pull your hand away. " What did you say?"

"Show me." He demanded, more confidently this time. You watched his face as your fingers lightly swirled around the bundle of nerves. He bit his lip.

"Do you like when I do all the work?" You bit back a moan as you gathered your slick on your fingers and dipped them shallowly into your hole. He surged forward, his clothes fluttering to the ground as he went. You saw the stamp of your lipstick still clinging to his hip. Crawling over you on the bed, he caught your wrist and brought your fingers to his lips, his tongue played between them, savoring the taste of you.

"No." His voice was low, "you deserve to be worshiped." Butterflies exploded in your stomach as he dropped your wrist so he could settle into the bed, his mouth level with your dripping cunt. Turning his head, he placed open mouth kisses to your thighs before diving in. He suddenly licked a fat stripe through your folds, moaning at the heady taste. Experimentally, he moved to your entrance and pumped his tongue slowly in and out, lapping at the arousal. The feeling of his warm mouth eating you from the inside out was enough to almost to the edge in mere minutes.

"Seokmin…" You moaned breathlessly.

"Can't handle it?" He mumbled into your cunt. You slid your fingers into his hair and dragged him back in. His tongue worked you up until you felt like you might snap. Then, the tip of his nose pressed into your clit, the stimulation was enough to have you bucking your hips, in search of that friction that would have you tumbling over the edge. He flattened his tongue and let you ride it out, his nose bumping your clit until finally your vision went white and you saw fire behind your eyes. "You got such a pretty little attitude." He crawled up and caged you between his arms. His chin was wet with you.

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"Right." He laughed as his hand snaked between your thighs. "You can't pull stunts like that." Two fingers slipped inside easily. He worked you open easily.

"Why not?"

"This is my livelihood." He added a third. "Wait until I get home next time."

"I'll just touch myself."

"Right." He pulled his fingers from you, you whined at the feeling of being empty.

"Seok…" You moaned. "I feel so empty." He rolled his eyes, but was a bit embarrassed about how easily you can get what you want from him. He lined the head of his hard cock up at your entrance and waited for you to signal that you were ready. You nodded at him. He pushed inside slowly, giving you time to adjust. He stilled as he bottomed out. "Move, baby, I'm begging" You nearly moaned.

He snapped his hips to yours with a force that told you that he had been waiting for this for quite some time. His mouth met yours, which surprised you. Kissing during sex was a foreign concept to you. You were surprised how much more invested in the act it made you.

You felt every veign drag against your walls as he fucked into you hard and fast. Eventually, you moved from his mouth to his neck, sucking his skin into your mouth as he chased his high and the thread inside you threatened to snap. Your teeth stung his skin before you soothed the pain with soothing passes of your tongue.

His thrusts became sloppy as you felt the knot in your stomach snap. He pulled out of you and gave himself a few sloppy pumps before you watched him finish on your stomach. He was kind of beautiful like that. Pure ecstasy twisting his face in pleasure.

"Oh my gosh…" He whispered. "I'm so sorry, let's get cleaned up." He disappeared into his bathroom, you heard the bath start and he returned with a warm towel. He cleaned himself off of your stomach before carrying you to the bathtub.

"Are you sure about this?" You felt like you could vibrate out of your skin, you were so excited.

"Yeah, you need to get out of the apartment." Seokmin shrugged. You wrapped your arm around his bicep as he led you out onto the street. You were draped in a long coat which concealed the same little dress from the other day.

"What if Cheol is there?" You wondered out loud.

"I'll talk to him." Seokmin stated simply. The rest of the short walk was silent, something comfortable and simple to accompany the sound of the street. Seokmin stepped aside to let you whisper the password to the man at the door, he watched you roll up onto your toes to reach his ear. He placed a steadying hand on your hip.

The man allowed you both to enter, the room opening up to a narrow set of stairs descending downward. You took Seokmin's hand and led him down.

"Have you ever been here?" You called back to him.

"No, I haven't had a reason to." He admitted.

"You'll love Yewon!" You smiled. "Hopefully she'll be done being miffed at me since I stopped promising to blow Mingyu." Seokmin choked back a laugh as the two of you landed at the bottom of the stairs. Seokmin laid a hand lightly on the small of your back and gently nudged you through the threshold.

The room opened up to a beautifully ornate bar decorated with tables and patrons, all familiar to you. Mingyu's eyes caught yours first. The surprise on his face was evident as he beelined for the two of you.

"What are you doing here?" He whispered to you as he planted a kiss on your cheek. He moved to give a handshake to Seokmin. "What are you doing here?" He repeated, firmly gripping Seokmin's hand.

"She wanted to see everyone," Seokmin returned the handshake. "She needed out."

"Cheol's coming out tonight." Mingyu warned.

"It will be fine." Seokmin assured, but the way he chewed his lip told you otherwise.

"Right." You interjected. "While you two…" You scanned the room. "Tzuyu!" You nearly shrieked. The older girl looked up from her deck of cards and her eyes grew wide.

"Y/N?" She gestured you over to her. You moved across the bar swiftly, Tzuyu pulled you into a hug.

Seokmin watched you sink into a chair at Tzuyu's table while Mingyu pulled him back to the bar.

"She's gonna get herself killed." The girl behind the bar leaned close to Mingyu.

"Yewon, I assume?" Seokmin asked. She nodded. "She won't, not here. She'll be going straight home after this. Don't worry."

"Seok…" Mingyu started.

"I'll handle Cheol when he gets here." Seokmin said softly. "Excuse me." Mingyu watched him walk in your direction.

"This isn't gonna end well." He sighed.

"Not at all." Yewon pulled a glass off the shelf. "Whiskey?"

You shrugged your coat off your shoulders and let it fall onto the chair behind you.

"Cheol finally let you off the hook?" Tzuyu asked shuffling her cards.

"Not exactly." You smirked, counting out Poker chips. Seokmin's hand slid onto the back of your chair.

"You want a drink?" His smile didn't reach his eyes.

"A whiskey and a shot of whatever Yewon wants." You smile. "Please." He nodded and walked back toward the bar. You felt Tzuyu's eyes on you.

"What was that?"

"My host being polite." You shrugged.

"You said please." She was staring at you so intently you thought you might combust.

"Yeah, Tzuyu!" You dramatically rolled your eyes. "Manners!"

"From you? That's rich." She laughed. She continued to shuffle her cards before suddenly stopping again. "You're fucking him, aren't you?"

"Deal me in." You tapped your nose with a smirk.

"You're going to be rusty." She stated, passing you cards.

"You've been playing with Soonyoung." You shrugged. "My rusty is better than his best game."

"Watch it." Tzuyu glanced over your shoulder. "Cheol's on his way in, he won't be too keen on this." You collect your cards, trying to not show how uneasy you feel on your face.

Seokmin tensed as he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. He tried to ignore it and watch Yewon pour drinks for a man down the bar.

"Seokmin?" Seungcheol pressed.

"Oh." He turned toward his friend. "You surprised me."

"No I didn't" Seungcheol deadpanned. His eyes began scanning the bar.

"Cheol!" Seokmin pulled his focus. "I have a question! Fancy a smoke?"

"You don't smoke."

"Maybe I've started." Seokmin grabbed Seungcheol's arm and dragged him up the stairs and out onto the street. Seungcheol eyed Seokmin curiously as he slid a cigarette between his lips. "Can I bum one?" Seokmin muttered.

"So you haven't started smoking." Seungcheol rolled his eyes, offering the pack over to the younger man. Seokmin took one from the pack and handed it back. The cigarette stayed perched unnaturally between his fingers as Seungcheol lit his own. He took a long drag and blew the smoke out toward the street. "What's the question, Seokmin?"

"Oh. Right…" Seokmin fidgeted with the unlit cigarette. "What are you getting Jeonghan for his birthday?"

"It's April."

"Okay…you never got me anything for my birthday…" He shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"Y/N's in there isn't she?"

"No."

"I urge you," Seungcheol stepped closer to Seokmin, he could smell the tobacco on his breath, "to think very carefully about if you want to risk lying to me again."

"I swear," Seokmin took a step back. "Just me."

"You've never set foot in this bar in your life," Seungcheol searched his face. "No matter how many times I invite you out. Now all of a sudden, when you're in charge of my girl, you decide to come out, uninvited?" He took another drag from the cigarette. "What? She give you the password and was content to just sit at home?"

"I uh…" Seokmin stammered.

"She's in there." Seungcheol flicked the ash off his cigarette. "Playin' Poker, yeah?"

"Cheol…" Seokmin took a step toward the door.

"Don't be so scared, Seok." Seungcheol laughed, something in the dry sound was dripping with disdain. "What else is going on that I don't know about?"

"Nothing." Seokmin hardened. "She wanted out. I let her out." Seungcheol was always quicker than Seokmin. He threw his hand out and pulled the collar of Seokmin's sweater lower.

"Nothing?" Seungcheol eyed the blooming purple hickey on his neck. "Two strikes, Lee. What else you got for me?"

"I.." Seokmin squirmed in Seungcheol's hold. "I love her."

"Game over." Seungcheol laughed in disbelief. He threw the cigarette onto the ground and stomped on it with his foot. He unhanded Seokmin with a shove and threw himself back into the bar. Leaving Seokmin alone on the street.

You felt his presence behind you before he made himself known. You tried not to tense as his chin hooked over your shoulder. "Time's up, Princess." Seungcheol whispered to you. "Let's go."

"Cheol.." You stared straight ahead. Tzuyu looked at you sadly. She knew that she would not be seeing you, her friend, for a long time after tonight.

"I'm not going to tell you again, Y/N." Seungcheol growled. "So let's get going before I embarrass you.

"Make a scene." You insisted. "Let everyone know that you always ruin my fun."

"Fine." He sighed. "But don't think you or lover boy are off the hook, here." He whispered before lifting you out of your chair and hoisting you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Let me go!" You shrieked. Seungcheol grabbed your coat and threw it over your head. You kicked your legs as he carried you up the stairs and out onto the street. He placed you onto your feet and helped you into your coat. Seokmin looked at you like someone had just kicked him.

"You just don't get it do you?" His tone was laced with so much venom you almost shrunk into yourself.

"You don't get it, Seungcheol." You protested. "I just want a normal life!"

"That is not something you get to have." Seungcheol hardened. "Walk." The three of you started in the direction of the apartment. "All I do is for your fucking safety and you make me look like a fool."

"I was fine! I am safe with everyone there!" Your voice bounced off the buildings surrounding you.

"Lower your voice." Seungcheol warned. "What about the walk there. You could have been spotted, and killed." He grabbed your arm. "You're leaving. I'll give you the night." You felt the sting of tears in your eyes.

"Cheol…" Seokmin started.

"You stay out of this." Seungcheol cut a glare in his direction. "You're lucky she's getting the night, you're even luckier I don't fucking kill you." He tightened his grip on your arm. "Start packing. Be ready in the morning." The garage came into view and Seungcheol pushed you toward it. Seokmin stuttered forward to catch you. The two of you stood in front of the garage facing Seungcheol. "Do not attempt to run. I will find you, do not forget what I'm capable of."

Seokmin slept in your bed that night. He held you as you cried yourself to sleep. You both were intimately aware of what Seungcheol was capable of, of course you were. Seokmin allowed his own warm tears to escape as your body wracked with sobs and cries of how unfair everything was. As your sobs slowed and your breathing evened out Seokmin pressed soft kisses to your hairline.

"I told him I love you." He mumbled to your sleeping form. "I should have told you."

Morning came all too quickly, the golden dawn light streaming through the curtains you forgot to close the night before. You closed your eyes and pretended to not know what was coming until Seokmin was nudging you. "You need to pack…" You rolled over to see his eyes were just as puffy and red as you assumed yours were. "Cheol will be angry if you're not ready when he gets back."

"Who cares?" Your voice cracked with sleep and sadness. "He's ruined my life enough times, he can wait for me to pack my shit."

"Y/N…" Seokmin whispered as you brought his lips to yours softly. He left himself settle into the kiss for just a moment before breaking away all too soon. "You need to pack." You watched his eyes fill with tears again and something in you broke. Your heart sank as you slipped out of bed and began throwing your belongings into the suitcase you thought, foolishly, that you may have never needed again.

There was a pounding at the door downstairs.

Seokmin pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "I'll go talk to him…just keep packing." You watched him disappear out of your bedroom, you blinked back a fresh bout of tears threatening to spill.

The door opened to a hard-faced Seungcheol.

"Is she ready?" He asked, pushing past Seokmin and into the garage.

"Just about." Seokmin sighed. "Can I talk to you?"

"You're not going to change my mind." Seungcheol turned to face him. He took in the redness of Seokmin's eyes. "Don't cry either, tears do not move me."

"You used to care about that stuff. About me." Seokmin took a shaky breath. "About her."

"I care about her." Seungcheol took a step toward him. "It's you who broke my trust. I told you, a month ago, do not sleep with her, do not fall in love with her." He tilted his head. "What was it? Was it the dress? The kissing?"

"You don't know anything about her, do you?" Seokmin scoffed.

"Watch it." Seungcheol warned.

"No really, Seungcheol," Seokmin held Seungcheol's stare. "Do you ever talk to her? Do you ever ask her what she wants?"

"It doesn't matter what she wants, Seokmin." Seungcheol rolled his eyes. "What matters is keeping her safe."

"I can do that."

"Clearly you can't!" Seungcheol laughed vindictively. "Last night would have never happened if you could." Seungcheol watched as Seokmin stormed across the garage and dug through the bottom drawer of a tool cabinet. He fished something out and came back to where Seungcheol was standing.

"Was the goal to protect her from the people trying to kill her?" Seokmin spat. "Or me?" Seungcheol stood quietly. "Check your priorities. I can protect her." Seokmin threw a small pistol onto the desk between them.

"You're foolish." Seungcheol pushed through the door leading to the apartment, leaving Seokmin alone in the garage.

You looked up to see Seungcheol leaning in the doorway of your bedroom. He watched you pack for several minutes before breaking the silence. "Faster." He stated simply.

"No." You sat back on your heels and crossed your arms over your chest.

"Fine." Seungcheol stood up off of the doorjamb and crossed the room to your bathroom.

"Do not touch my makeup Choi Seungcheol!" You screamed and scrambled up off the floor to follow him.

"Then pack faster!" He shouted back at you as you entered the bathroom. "Stop being angry with me! It's Seokmin you should blame."

"I hate you."

"No. You don't."

You didn't say another word to him as you watched him fold your clothes and he supervised you packing your makeup and jewelry. He leads you back down the stairs and into the garage where Seokmin was trying his best to open the shop. "Say goodbye. I'm packing the car." Seungcheol grunted as he began to walk away.

"Have a safe trip." Seokmin called after Seungcheol who stopped in his tracks for half of a second before leaving the two of you alone. "Do you know where you're going?" Seokmin asked you quietly, wrapping you in a hug.

"No." You sniffle into his chest. "I think we're lucky to be able to say goodbye."

"Probably." He leaned his cheek on the crown of your head.

"Kiss me once, for the road." You whispered. He did. He kissed you with all the love and revery that he held for you over the last month. You hoped and prayed that this wasn't a true goodbye.

You were kicking Seungcheol's seat again. You weren't in a funeral dress, but you were feeling more dread, contempt, and sadness than you were for the death of your father in this moment.

"Stop that." Seungcheol demanded, bored.

"No."

"Y/N, this isn't going to get you anywhere." He sighed.

"Don't care." You kicked his seat harder. "It annoys you, right?"

"Do you want me to crash this car?"

"If it kills us both, yes."

"You're impossible." Seungcheol gripped the stearing wheel.

"And you're the worst person ever." Your kicks picked up speed.

"Y/N if you don't stop—"

"What?" You shouted. "You'll kill me? You can't!" You laughed. despite the tears in your eyes. "You can't! Then you're as bad as them!"

"Y/N this is for your own good!" He shouted back. Suddenly, the kicking stopped. The car was silent for a few moments.

"He was my first kiss.." You whispered.

"What?" Seungcheol asked. He heard you.

"Seokmin was the first boy who cared enough to kiss me." Hot tears spilled over your cheeks. Seungcheol pulled over and twisted in his seat to look at you.

"You're kidding." He insisted. "Y/N tell me you're fucking joking."

"Do I look like I'm joking?" You angrily wiped your face.

"I know for a fact you've fucked at least a dozen guys." He stared at you. "And you're telling me not one of them has kissed you?"

"Not a single one." You sniffled. "Seokmin even kissed me just to kiss me days before we…"

"Oh my God." He faced forward again. "We, uh, we can't turn around. You can't go back, no matter the…situation."

You sighed. You knew this wouldn't change his mind, you weren't even trying to. You just wanted to go back to Seokmin, to someone who you knew cared about you.

Yoon Jeonghan wasn't used to visitors, let alone visitors at three in the morning. He looked through the peephole on the front door of his apartment.

"Oh what the fuck?" He mumbled to himself before opening the door. "What on Earth are you doing here at this hour?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"I took Y/N to the safe house upstate." Seungcheol frowned. "Can I come in?" He asked as he was already ghosting past Jeonghan and into his apartment.

"Why the fuck is she upstate?" Jeonghan closed the door behind Seungcheol and stared at him as he paced the length of the apartment.

"She slept with Seokmin." Seungcheol stated. "I told him not to fall for her, he knew the consequences and then they decided to play in my face and go to the Speakeasy." He sighed. "She told me she hates me."

"You fucked up." Jeonghan informed him. "You don't need me to tell you that do you?"

"Did you hear me?" Seungcheol stopped in his tracks.

"Yes." Jeonghan told him matter-of-factly. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes." He scrubbed his face.

"You haven't slept have you?"

"She said she hates me.." Seungcheol looked at Jeonghan pleadingly.

"Don't look at me like that." Jeonghan shook his head. "You hurt her. You did it to yourself."

"It was for her safety."

"You're hurting her." Jeonghan hardened. "You're so impossible and you don't think anyone can be right if they're not you. And you're hurting everyone around you because of it."

"Do you think this is easy?" Seungcheol asked, full of venom. "I wasn't ready to take over. Frank left me a mess, and his daughter is just making it harder!"

"Remember when she was more to you than just Frank's daughter?" Jeonghan fixed Seungcheol to the spot with his eyes. Seungcheol squirmed under his intense gaze, feeling like the other man was able to see right through him. "Remember when she was everything to you? What changed?"

"She…" Seungcheol shifted. "She might not need me anymore…" He admitted quietly.

"Oh." Jeonghan crossed the room to smooth his hands down Seungcheol's arms. "Oh. Seungcheol, she will always need you. But you must have known this day would come eventually, right?"

"Maybe, yes." Seungcheol watched where Jeonghan's hands touched his arms lightly. "Just, not this soon.."

"She's an adult, she's ready." Jeonghan assured him. "Go get her."

"What?" Seungcheol's head snapped up. "No."

"Go get her." Jeonghan squeezed his arms. "Or I'll do it myself."

The house upstate was boring. It had been since you got there five days ago. The woman who owned the house, Mrs. Park, was nice. She was incredibly nice actually, but she wasn't Seokmin. When you arrived Seungcheol told her that you needed someone to house you but did not explain much past that.

Mrs. Park didn't ask questions like Seokmin did. She respected Seungcheol's wishes. She left you alone most of the time after she showed you around the house and to the room in which you were staying. There were more books than you could ever imagine reading in the room across the hall. A copy of The Great Gatsby peaked at you from under your bed. You had already read it twice since you arrived.

On the seventh day, Mrs. Park summoned you for breakfast. She made one of your favorite meals, when you questioned how she knew, she said that she had always known Frank's daughter's favorites. You knew she meant well but you lsot your appetite. Once again, you were nothing more than Frank's daughter. Seungcheol's liability. You pushed the food around the plate with your fork until Mrs. Park had to go tend to other responsibilities around the house.

It rained outside on the ninth day. You were tempted to go outside and attempt to get struck by lightning. At least that would be interesting. Instead, you sat at the bay window and watched the dirt outside turn to mud.

On the twelfth day, a car you didn't recognize pulled up outside.

"Mrs. Park?" You called through the house. She didn't answer. You left the bay window, if the men who killed your father somehow found you here you were going to give yourself a fighting chance. You barricaded yourself in your room with the small knife Jeonghan gave you for your birthday last year.

Your heart sank as footsteps rang through the house and they got closer to where you were. Surely, this was going to be how you died. The doorknob turned.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Seungcheol asked as the door creaked open and revealed you, sitting on the floor, a small knife pointed toward him.

"Why are you here?" You jabbed the knife in the air toward him. He crossed the room swiftly and disarmed you handily.

"Jeonghan was a fool to think giving you a knife but refusing to teach you how to weild it was a smart idea." He chucked, tossing the knife across the floor. "I'm here to take you home."

Seokmin sighed as two honks rang out in the alley. He had been swamped with customers all day and he was closed. He opened the garage with the full intention of telling whoever this was that he was closed and they could come back in the morning. He stopped in his tracks when he saw who was driving the car.

"No." He called before turning on his heel and closing the garage door. Seungcheol cursed under his breath before turning to you in the back seat.

"Lock the doors, drive if anyone comes around." He instructed, "let me go talk to lover boy real quick." He didn't give you time to protest before he was jogging into the shop through the front door.

"Hey!" He called to Seokmin.

"I'm closed, Mr. Choi." Seokmin didn't look at him as he wiped the grease off his hands.

"I'm not here to get work." Seungcheol sighed.

"Who's car did you steal?" Seokmin laughed humorlessly.

"Huh?" Seungcheol cocked his head to the side.

"That's not your car."

"Oh," Seungcheol nodded. "It's—"

"Actually, I'm not interested." Seokmin interrupted. "Get out."

"Seok.."

"No Seungcheol."Seokmin slammed his hands on the desk. "You have no jurisdiction here, I may be the only mechanic you trust but I am in charge of this garage and you need to leave. You don't trust me with her, just cars. So if you don't have a car to bring me, get out."

"I brought her back."

The silence in the garage was so loud. Seokmin could hear his blood rushing in his ears.

"I swear to God if you're fucking with me, Choi Seungcheol…" Seokmin got in Seunghcheol's face.

"I won't gut you for calling me that." Seunghceol stated calmly. "That's how serious I am."

"Where is she?" Seokmin demanded.

"Outside. Go pack whatever you need, the car is yours." Seungcheol stated. "I'll sell the apartment for you, close down the business."

"What do you mean?"

"She can't stay here." Seungcheol reminded him. "But…she also can't live without you. I'm fixing what I broke. No matter how much the idea of not being close to her hurts me, it's not about me anymore." Seungcheol blinked back tears. "Go. Pack, we'll be outside."

Seokmin flew upstairs. He only packed what he needed, he knew that he could replace things when the two of you got to wherever you're going. His suitcaase was full of clothes, he left his coveralls behind. Before he met you outside, he snatched a pearl off the floor of his kitchen.

You flung yourself out of the car the minute you saw Seokmin come through the front door with his suitcase. He couldn't help but cry as he took you in his arms. "It was twelve days." Seungcheol mumbled.

"The worst twelve days of my life, Seungcheol." You sniffled into Seokmin's chest.

"Right." He smiled in spite of himself. "Here are the keys." He held out a small keyring to Seokmin. "Take care of her, protect her like I know you can." He sniffled. "Go anywhere, don't tell anyone, don't tell me. Just go somewhere far away where the two of you can make a life together, okay?" He turned to you and pulled you into a hug. "Please, don't tell me where you are."

"I won't Cheol." You weren't ashamed to let tears stain his shirt.

"But please…" He kisses the top of your head. "Write to me, no return address, just…tell me you're okay."

"You have mail." Jeonghan handed an envelope over to Seungcheol.

Choi Seungcheol 526 Diamond Street New York, New York 10095

Lee Seokmin, musical theater actor. 27 years old.

👤 When you think of your youth, what do you think of?

⚔️ That assumes that my youth is over! [laughs] If we're talking about my childhood, well, that one was good. I was a happy kid. I associate that time of my youthfulness with the rain.

👤 A lot of people think the rain is a bad thing.

⚔️ Yeah, I guess! The rain can be pretty bad. But my wife— sorry, force of habit— [giggles, clears throat] my girlfriend and I met on a rainy day. So maybe that's why I have such fond memories of it. Say, have you heard about the first rain of May?

👤 I can't say I have, no.

⚔️ Right, so, there's this belief that the first rain of May has healing properties. Everyone who showers in that rain is said to find luck.

👤 And that's when you met your girlfriend?

⚔️ [giggles] Yes, that's when I met her. The first rain of May. I guess that means she's my healing and my luck, huh? Going back to your question— to me, my youth is rain-soaked love. One that perseveres and remains certain. In a way, I guess you could say... [falters]

👤 I could say...?

⚔️ She's going to laugh at me when she hears this. But it's true.

👤 That?

⚔️ She's my youth. All of it. But, most importantly— she's what I still have and want in the present. And isn't that worth weathering any storm for?

↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺ so cool by day 6. ribs by lorde. where'd all the time go? by dr. dog. audition (the fools who dream) by emma stone. stubborn love by the lumineers.