#djbro

no

fuck off four little words arent going to fix whats broke

yr teribrle

its actually this big wall around earth

encasing it

a wall made of various gases you hear named aloud in high school laboratories

those gases are made up of goddamn atoms the kids in those classrooms are made up of goddamn atoms everything is made up of goddamn atoms

atoms are made up of protons neutrons and electrons

those are made up of quarks

and quarks are made up of pickle inspector

alternatively quarks are made up of tiny vibrating strings

the universe is a massive symphony

ah yes someone was doing this and i thought it was cool so

blog created on may 31st 2011, 136 days/4 months 14 days

2277 posts, 486 followers

heres the exact kind of biznasty daves gotten himself into

DEETS:

David "Marty McFly" Strider is fifteen years old. He lives at home with his brother. We assume that he and his friends have completed Sburb and restored the world to its former boring glory. The kids have not received recognition for their feats. However, all powers they enjoyed during the game (and some that they didn't particularly enjoy as much) have remained at their disposal.

Dave is insecure offline, and ekes out a severely reduced word count in person. He's hesitant in speech because of a childhood stuttering problem. Upon physically meeting him, one can bear witness to how he is both genuinely cool and genuinely not as cool as he'd like everyone to believe.

Sex scares the shit out of him.

He takes incredibad care of himself, often forgetting to eat or sleep until the need to do so is very slightly dire.

The back drawer (back cement block whatever) of his desk contains three packs of cigarettes and a stack of pictures he took of an oblivious John once upon an exploration of an abandoned hotel.

Schoolwise, Dave does extremely well despite his general unreliability and irresponsibility. He takes a major in photography and a major in graphic design. Dave attends a private school because shit wasn't so swell at public school. His tuition is backed by a buttload of scholarships he's earned. It may be a phase, but his interest in visual arts has overtaken his rap for the time being. He's branching out and exploring a bunch of shit right now. Consequentially, his music taste has become even more obscure. (Not lately though wow mainstream much.) Dave likes to do nonsensical stupid things for art every now and again. It's kind of like doing things for irony, but not really.

He's also got a part-time job teaching kids self-defense.

Dumb indie.

DAISYSTRIDER:

Dubbing themselves universe-twins, Daisy is basically just like Dave but a girl. They're both fifteen and they hung out during an intense Fourth of July party. Serious bonding occurred over obscenely immature jokes. She has since disappeared from his life and he misses her, it is depressing for everyone involved, everyone involved being just Dave.

JONATHANEGBERT:

Dave's best friend ex-crush turned boyfriend. 

After several weeks of dubiously unironic/ironic/who-knows of flirting and several extremely delicate suggestions from one of Dave's two shoulder devils to Fuck John's Hot Butt, Dave somehow managed to ask John out. It was gay and John revealed that he is not so not-a-homosexual blah blah tired joke.

Shortly afterwards, Dave was able to snag tickets to visit John in Washington. They met up for the first time since the game and it was great and yeah. Approximately three (?) pillow forts were built. Terrible movies were watched. Shit was domestic, yo. John caught cold pretty soon though and found himself victim to shitty matronly bedside nurse type care courtesy of Dave. Jeez what else happened my god this is hard. Dave stayed over until the 4th of July.

The 4th was a really huge party or something at some other timeline's Bro's house. A bunch of wonderfully gay stuff happened. John got massively hungover and Dave got to play nurse for The Second Time. Post-huge party, John came into possession of a transportalizer? And Dave gave in and got one too.

So they've been flitting back and forth between their homes ever since. John manages to get himself into at least twenty times more shenanigans than Dave does 'cause Dave's a dumb fucking social recluse haha so Dave isn't exactly sure about half of the shit John's been going through and it pretty much makes him the worst boyfriend ever. Yeah.

John's immortality from Sburb has become a immensely important issue as of late. As an immortal god, John is doomed to an eternity of watching his friends growing old and eventually dying. He cannot die unless it is heroic or just. This kind of complicates Dave and John's relationship. An extremely contrived plan soon arose as a solution.

Using Dave's powers, he and John would go back in time to Sburb, to a couple moments before Coin Dave appears and fails to die on the Quest Bed. It's not entirely evident whether or not interfering with the Quest Bed at that moment will compromise the result of their session from two years ago. For now, Dave's crossing his fingers and hoping that a loophole will present itself in good time.

Current Dave would have to take the legendary nap, leaving John to take his best friend's life. As a god tier, Dave would be afflicted with the same immortality as John. Were he not in love with John, Dave would still probably want to god tier for John, not wanting John to be alone for eternity.

The two have been ruminating on this plan for a pretty long while. John doesn't seem to want to go through with it, and Dave is completely piss-scared but dead set on it being a thing that will hapen.

They haven't talked about it together that much, and a 'when' is definitely far from being decided on. It appears to have faded out of consciousness, but this is far from true on both sides.

Actually, they have been pretty distant ever since the whole immortality thing came up.

Sex is this weird thing that they joke about online but don't really prod with a stick offline.

ROSALYNLALONDE:

Still Dave's snarky sister.

They playfully argue every now and again but haven't spent as much time with each other as they both say they want to. Or, don't say they want to.

She switches between passive aggressively teaching Dave how to smoke and teasing him because he doesn't know how.

And won't try without someone he trusts showing him.

Because he doesn't want to feel dumb and cough all over himself.

Even if he's alone in his room with no one to witness his stupidity.

Rose sends him messages asking him to come over, or asking him if it's ok if she can come over, but it doesn't happen.

Perhaps they're both social lameass recluses.

She listens to rap more than he does these days, he secretly feels weird about that.

JADINEHARLEY:

Just recently came back into Dave's life but not much has happened, nothing has happened really. Dave's been missing her like a motherfuck but hasn't gotten around to actually telling her that. How dumb can this dude get.

DJBRO:

Dave's guardian.

Unironically abandoned him for a couple months due to some sort of life crisis, but now he's back and their bond is p much stronger than ever. Cuddling is still on the agenda. 

They haven't talked about it really.

Bro hasn't set up any sort of college provisions for Dave, which was a shock kind of but Dave's working hard for his higher education now and yeah. The dude just didn't expect Dave to want that. It's gonna break his damn heart when he finds out that Dave 1) might not want to be a DJ after all and 2) definitely won't be taking over the porn site.

They both wanted the Marty McFly shoes badly.

Bro works and Dave takes care of house stuff, hence Bro always bitching at him to do the laundry and yeah. Dave jokingly threatens to run away every other week, which is generally received with joking encouragement to do so. They communicate by IM mostly.

Dorks.

Dave is currently eight years old by way of dumb bullshit. Bro is helping him sort stuff out.

CROWHOUSESCRATCH:

Dave was originally hesitant about talking to other Daves, because he felt like he was just another Dave in the grotesquely roiling sea of Daves. However, something about this older him was pretty approachable and they refer to each other fondly as mini-me and dj older me. These are the lamest nicknames in the universe. We can all pretend they are ironic.

TURNTECHDICKHEAD:

Another older him that Dave feels like he can approach, sort of. This particular older Dave's wordhoard is something pretty intense so Dave likes to nod in approval every once in a while.

If they don't march to the beat of the same drummer, then they at least march to the beats of vaguely related through marriage drummers.

All of their conversations thus far have been mutual bitchfests.

Hmm.

SARDONICPUPPETEER:

A Bro a bit older than his own Bro. Dave is half-afraid to interact with him because his loyalty lies with his own Bro and there is all sorts of red tape fraternal type stuff involved there.

He admires the guy, though. Feels special when he gets attention from the tough badass dude. And he definitely likes the fact that this Bro helps out John every now and again.

Dave naturally likes every instance of Bro Strider, he can't fucking help it, he's all imprinted and shit like a baby duckling and the Bro Strider face is mama to him.

JADENHARLEY:

Dave's only visitor for a while during the summer. Upon receiving a slew of horribly disturbing and gut-wrenching messages online, Dave proceeded to have a serious flip out break down Strider-style. Jaden rushed over to snap Dave the fuck out of it, but his success is debatable.

Jaden, having grown up alone on his island, is unfamiliar with group gathering type stuff. Dave's promised to throw a big dinner party for him one day, like a potluck or something, so that Jaden can experience a big family type thing my god that kid is tragic.

Friendship with Jaden is pretty special to Dave. Since Dave has been missing Jade for a while, Jaden is like Jade for him. But different. Always a little different. Dave doesn't get why Jaden would even want to be friends with him, but then he remembers that he's a Harley.

FALLEN-LEGISLACERATOR:

Haha yes the only Terezi that Dave actually talks to more than once a year. Dave's got some serious respect for this chick and they've thrown a couple lines at each other.

DOTHESPACEYTHING:

The only Jade he talked to before refinding JADINEHARLEY.

He's fond of her even though she's older than him by a lot. Lately he's been wrapping his head around her own immortality-related tough spot, but hasn't come up with anything.

DOOMED-KNIGHT:

[A deactivated RP blog.]

A dead Dave, Dave talked a lot to this dude while mulling over his romantic suicide plan.

Talked.

More like.

Freaked out and clung to his dead fucking bosom, then got comforted by his own corpse.

SO MUCH TYPING

wow i dont actually interact with trolls this is horrible

troll rpers pls bully me into rping with you ok everyone should bully me into rping with them

if you read all of this then im gonna kiss your face