#dizis

On KaySun Parallels + Trauma Bonding (aka Suna’s Lack of Self-Worth and Kaya’s Abandonment Issues)

I think it’s established very early on that Suna is traumatized by her abusive father, Kazim. She’s perpetually anxious and shaky about never being good enough; in fact, on the day she’s supposed to get engaged, her younger sister is chosen over her for the arranged marriage. This manifests in her difficulty in standing up for herself. All her life, she has been downtrodden, plodded on by people who think she is less than. She guards her heart because she’s been heartbroken way too many times—treated as less than by her father, sister, and even the Korhans. She thinks she’s unloved; therefore, she lacks self-worth.

Once she gets her confidence, though, whether it’s thanks to Kaya’s warm words and Ifakat’s manipulation, or through the power and financial protection Kaya can give her through their marriage and being a member of the Korhan family, Suna is able to stand up for herself. She feels worthy and loved thanks to Kaya. Why? Because, for the first time in her life, she gets chosen. He chooses her to love. To be his bride. And she no longer feels like an afterthought, nor a second choice full of flaws. So when she realizes that Kaya might not actually love her and just feel pity for her, she’s devastated. For it means she wasn’t chosen and loved after all.

But what about Kaya? Well, Kaya has trauma too. But a different kind—abandonment issues, stemming from his add!ct father leaving them and his mother’s health problems meaning she could die any moment and leave him without his real family. He thinks he’s not enough since after all, his dad abandoned him.

So it’s no surprise that Kaya clings on to Suna. Yes, it’s love so strong that he can’t admit it yet—attraction that is so real that it unfortunately gets muddled and blurred between the lines of revenge and necessity—but it’s also their trauma bonding of rejection. Suna and Kaya have found themselves in each other. Suna can’t lose him, the same way Kaya can’t lose her. They’ve both faced similar issues in their lives; they both know what it feels like to be a pawn in a losing game, or just not the main character of their own story.

When Kaya thinks Suna doesn’t trust him, especially because she heads off to find Seyran with that fck@$$ driver without telling him, he’s understandably heartbroken. At this point, they’re married, and loved up, but now he thinks she’s going to leave him. And he can’t deal with that. He can’t accept someone he loves abandoning again. That’s why he flips out completely. And that’s why Suna’s arms are there to comfort him in the end.

(Plus, as my Twitter moot Alice pointed out, that’s why the first time KaySun meet, as he says goodbye, he tells her, “I hope you will always be there for me.” This says so much about his character; it unlocks his deepest fears as well).

I'm keeping up with Yabani. Mainly because of Asi/Alaz dynamic and Alaz/Yaman brotp.

And a true discovery for me is Kızıl Goncalar. I'm about 4 episodes in and I'll definitely be catching up and fully intend to keep watching.

Leyla Gediz "Bambaşka Biri" icons