@divinityburnt said, 050. animal. / 076. grief. / 114. pride. / 184. moon. / headcanon exploration.
ANIMAL. as a child, ashley spent his summers on his uncle’s farm, and he spent a lot of that time around animals — whether he was feeding the chickens, or playing his harmonica to the cows. as an adult, he doesn’t have any pets, because he doesn’t have the time to take care of them, but he will stop to help a stray, and he always keeps an eye out for missing pets. christian has a soft spot for kids, and ashley has a soft spot for animals.
GRIEF. even though ashley's spent most of his life mourning, he still doesn’t know how to handle his grief. he turns what he can into anger, and what remains destroys him.
PRIDE. ashley is not proud of the time he spent in the slayer corps, but he recognizes that it made him into who he is as a person — and he is proud of where it’s gotten him. as a child, he used to be scared and angry, but now he’s just angry, now he can walk a little taller, sit a little straighter; he knows he’s a deadly shot and he knows most folks are too scared to try and hurt him. he’s a damn good deputy and while he isn’t necessarily proud of his past, while he isn’t content with the person he became, or what he lost along the way — he takes a little pride in the fact that he made someone of himself, whereas his father drank his days away, whereas his father waited around to die. ashley struggled, he pulled himself back to his feet, he became someone, he did that.
MOON. in his childhood, in the worst of the july heat, ashley would spend his sleepless nights laying under the moon and the stars, trying to find the great bear and little bear. he never really studied astronomy, but henri taught him the names of all the stars, and he taught him how to find them. these are the nights he misses most of all, now that he’s older, and childhood’s just a sepia memory — he misses counting the stars until his eyes got blurry while henri was already dozing off on the other end of the blanket. henri would blame his age in the morning, of course, he’d laugh because the years had been unkind to him and he rarely had the energy to stay up past midnight anymore. and years later, while ashley rarely lays out a blanket to stargaze anymore, he will pull to the side of the road during long trips, and light a smoke while he counts the stars, trying to find the great and little bear again.