#divinemindofdarkfemininity

I wasn’t even sure if it was real, it seemed so perfectly synthetic. The whole scenery, or the sheer coincidental happiness that comes from stumbling upon this sunflower, that stood firmly 2/3 my height. The may sun beamed down on it like a spotlight through tree canopy’s. I couldn’t believe my eyes. If you’ve taken any sort of psychedelic before, you know what I mean by “believe my eyes”

First instinct was to take a picture “just in case”, I might’ve referred back to it later (for confirmation). I had never done acid before this- so I wasn’t sure when the visuals would kick in. Nor did I know what “visuals” meant or what to expect.

Little did i know it’d become my favorite picture for entirely different reasons.

So, as you can probably guess, I stood there looking at this sunflower for what felt like an eternity trying to decide if the physical manifestation of who I am (or was), was equally as tethered to reality- this world. Wondering if i could trust the line between the actual evidence that my reality could be so perfectly synthetic, or the induced euphoric state of reality was still as clear as i’d assume it to be. Was I off running rampant in my mind with this imaginary dilemma? Yes. It more and more began drifting into a “conversation” as the seconds went on. It felt as if they went on past my control. Do I normally feel like i can control time? No. We control what we do with our time. This moment however, felt beyond that. I felt stuck and fluid at once. Was I communicating with a fucking flower while my friends were walking ahead and past me to a creek? Probably, probably not. I can think about what it looked like, or i can think about what it felt like.

So was I tethered? or was i gone? You might read this and think “damn that girl was gone”. Sometimes that’s the way I remember it too.

But, maybe we’re all gone and once you walk out on the whole world, drop some acid on your birthday, and take a weekend off from work, school, life... once you have a silent conversation, you’ll find that not unlike this sunflower rooted in a random plot of soil, that quite literally looked misplaced, in a random city, on a random planet- we are all in pursuit of feeling we belong.

My friends looked back at me to say “catch up” again- no words, (cause we’re all trippin and I think that goes without saying) because I think at this particular peak we’ve all reached, it went telepathic. Or again, we could’ve just been goneeeee.

In that eternity I believed I was ahead. That doesn’t take much explaining. I was experiencing a high. What a suitable cliche for what happened that day. Even if I could, i’m not sure i’d be able to recall the specific sense of certainty that washed over me in an awesome wave. There’s a different atmosphere that surrounds the consciousness that has somehow now eluded my mind and body, and took form, or revealed itself, as every living thing around me. That revelation became the air I breathed. Some atmosphere I can only experience in such an altered state of being and mind. Left lucid with only one looping thought that leaves me gratified;

How cool is it that we’re all here at the same damn time?

point is, look at the flowers.