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in a similar vein to my last post…. i think that’s a good way to describe my indecision over labeling my angelic identity as a kin or link.
“angelic” describes who i am. at my core, i am angelic. i couldn’t change that if i tried.
“angel” describes what i am. it’s what i choose to present myself as to express my angelicism.
that’s why it feels simultaneously like a kintype and a linktype
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i know i’m posting about this a lot today but it’s because i’m having a lot of angelic feelings—
i feel like i am so stuck between angelkin and angellink because of the way my angel-ness manifests in me.
i feel like angelic describes me to my very being, like i couldn’t stop being angelic if i wanted to. but “angel” feels like a costume, feels like something i am choosing to be. it feels like a link, despite “angelic” feeling like kin somehow.
i feel like describing myself as any specific angel or specific kind of angel is a choice, a link, something i am choosing voluntarily. but i’m doing it to satiate my desire and dysphoria over being angelic. like i’m choosing it intentionally to satisfy my angelicism. like i desire to be an angel because i know im angelic.
does that make any sense? i don’t know.
