#divine duality

I feel like in spirituality and witchcraft, there is an extreme focus on the divine feminine and feminine energy. In a time when the defining overarching rule has been patriarchal rule and influence i feel as though this makes sense as many people seek to regain their power

However, after recently coming out as AFAB non-binary/transmasc i feel as though i have been actively and aggressively trying to ignore the masculine aspects of myself for so long. But anytime i look for anything about the divine masculine all i see is stuff about soulmates or abuse of power.

I feel so much more out of touch with my craft lately because my power and my sense of self have been so skewed bc everything i read is based on tapping into that divine feminine energy I’ve always had. I’ve always also rejected my femininity as it felt so performative and less powerful. Both of these perceptions have started the change and feel more comfortable for me as of lately which is both good and sometimes hard to understand

I see so much positivity towards the divine feminine yet also somehow a complete rejection/reduction of the divine masculine to finding your “twin flame” or about the toxic and negative aspects of the divine masculine.

The two, at least i thought, were supposed to be a balance. Not one exclusively over the other. I’m happy for others discovering and exploring their power as they reclaim their own divine feminine energy. But i feel as though attempting to explore the divine masculine in my life is being warped by the negative from others and feels like if i were to try and explore it would somehow make me toxic as well.

So, a quick warning that this is mostly UPG. The following information comes from my meditations on Apollo/Artemis as well as information revealed to me through my work of developing a working relationship with these deities.

When I first began working with deities I pushed back hard against Apollo and Artemis, after all MY witchcraft and life were more wild than that, more nuanced, more *mysterious*. I only held these beliefs because I was very new and did not at all understand Apollo or Artemis. Eventually it was revealed to me that Apollo was the conduit through which I was able to write my divine poetry, he was the source of my spark of creativity. It took me much longer to warm up to Artemis and it wasn't until I was really struggling to regain my sense of separate personhood and an identity outside of "mom" after my 2nd child was entering toddlerhood that I began to accept Artemis and work to understand her more.

Let's bring this ramble back to my original idea though: Apollo represents the highest ideals of humankind, the great achievements of civilization: medicine/health, art (in all its forms), knowledge, innovation, deeply personal spirituality, order/justice, and a desire to better ourselves and others. Artemis on the other hand represents wild nature: untamed wilderness, instinct/animal nature, impersonal power, giver and taker of life, a delicate order that seems chaotic at first glance, finding ourselves through solitude with an understanding of the importance of community for human's survival, and the desire to question what it means to be human and striving to understand our place within the web of life.

We need both to survive. The fine balance between them must be maintained for us to thrive. We cannot embrace the one and shun the other. Artemis and Apollo are twins, two halves of a whole, seemingly opposed but also complimentary, sacred duality and balance personified.

Here are the mini devotionals I wrote for Artemis and Apollo that I feel scratches the surface of this:

Apollo is the Golden Son of Olympus, A patron of the arts and a paragon of progress, Guiding humanity to be at its best, All hail the Great God Apollo!