#ditto rants

I'm only talking about it because I don't know. What else to do. Money is the only thing that matters in this world and I don't bring anything to the table to make my life worth preserving. I can't serve the community. I don't have any skills or talents that are worthwhile. I'm no farmer or textile worker or handyman... I can't even work up the energy to write a fanfic I genuinely care about.

And I see so many people on here being strong and wholely themselves despite of worse circumstances than my own. So there's no excuse.

they dont care. they always preach about wanting to help but thats just code for 'your a stupid idiot who doesn't know good enough but its ok we'll teach u perspective!'

n b4 people start on how postive affirmation is helpful, i fucking KNOW. i know its helpful but guess fucking what!!!! jobs!!!! dont!!!!! care!!!!!!! bills dont care!!!!!!!!!!! you cant positively affirm money into ur life when you have zero fucking passions or career drive!!!!!!

and besides fucking that, maybe, just fucking MAYBE, some of us are too fucking broken to help!!!!!!

stay active, im on my feet so much it hurts to stand, i ride my bike to/from work at least 3 days a week and used to do it 5 times until my fucking shifts were taken by a transfer! im fucking EXHAUSTED.

i feel like id have to write a dissertation just to get anyone to understand what im saying. because when you say 'i struggle with finding a way to positively view our society thar only thinks we deserve a roof over our heads and food on the table if we sacrifice 90% of our lives to jobs that dont even pay the bills' or 'i didnt choose to be born and im being held hostage in my own life' they say 'life is unfair' as if i wasnt fucking aware

i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die im sick of beinf alive its fucking pointless and nothings going to change that i want to fuvking DIE