#dissociationposting

I disassociate so much I don't even know if anything I ever felt was real. I don't remember how to be present. I can fake it, though - soft voice, tilted head, nodding like I'm here. But inside it's just static. I keep thinking if I look pretty enough, no one will notice the hollow. Sometimes I wonder if I ever had a real self to begin with or if I've just always been the version other people needed. This is just a place to put the parts of me don't fit anywhere else.