#dismissal

This pattern can be particularly damaging. You find yourself explaining the problem, but as they begin to see what you're bringing to them is something that they have to take accountability for and actually change, then they will throw in "misunderstanding" so that you can back off of what you're bringing to them.

This can show up in two ways.

They will intentionally "play dumb" and act as if they have no idea what is going on or what you are talking about so that they don't have to acknowlege how their actions affected you

They will be direct with you and tell you that you are misunderstanding their intent or that the entire situation was a misunderstaning from the start.

But here's the deal, you know what you saw. You know what you experienced. There never was a misunderstanding. They are trying to play with your head in an attempt to throw you off of your game because you see clearly what they are doing and you know that it is damaging and hurtful.