HC + abandonment (ilu)
“Abandonment. Wow, ok. I mean, I guess it all goes back to the very beginning when my mother was sent away, doesn’t it? 1858 was the year, I think. My father didn’t even let her say goodbye… and then she died. She left me alone with him. Losing her meant losing Stefan to the abusive bastard who had always hated me. I did everything I could to protect my brother and myself, but obviously that didn’t work out so well. My scars may have healed when I turned, but I can still tell you where every one marred my skin.Anyway, fast forward to the late 1950′s when I committed my most heinous act of abandonment – Augustine. I’d rather not get into the dirty details considering I’ve told this story recently, but I betrayed the only person who cared about me at the time. I left Enzo to die because it’s in my nature to disappoint those I love. That one still keeps me up nights.Later, I had the misfortune to fall in love with someone a lot like myself. Her name is Ana. Ana has been around a lot longer than I have and therefore has been through ten times as much. The thing with her is that she’s still running. At least, she thinks she is. I’ve never encountered those she claims are after her, but I’ve heard stories. Running is what she’s good at, honestly. She’ll show up on your doorstep one day, bloody and near death, hating herself for asking for your help. She’ll let you patch her up, eyes burning their way into your heart, voice as soft as a lover’s sigh, and take up residence in the hole in your chest. Then she’ll leave. Sometimes, she’ll leave a note under a lukewarm mug of perfectly made coffee. Other times I’ll wake at dawn and just know I’m alone again. Occasionally, when I get really mad, really low, I tell myself that it’s my fault. I did this to myself, I deserve the pain for all the things I’ve done in my near two centuries. Usually though, I know that she’s just as broken as I am. That’s why we fit so well together.I don’t know, I won’t bore you anymore with my entire life story, but just know that I’m well acquainted with the concept.Â
