#disguisedreflection

But how could you expect yourself

To get over something

You don't even have a gut to let out

A buried skeleton

Way too deep than you ever thought

Behind reassurance words

That it doesn't bother you at all

You throw easily to avoid any brawl

  Oh, darling, you'd die breaking your own heart

To save them from feeling like they do

In the contrary of your own belief

You stand in your place letting them have their moment to be lived.

It was in the middle of unexpected probability

Started off with my flowing words;

Silent gaze of yours,

Color crimson in our thoughts,

Flying free our fantasy

Into a dimmed light of the city

 White is all over you

And I'm caught up in blue

I remember those days When the wind blew so hard it brought hurricane; standing still hand in hand Ugly voices were resounding all over; one headphone stuck in our ear, deaf in one and the other didn't even care Thousand lemons were thrown; three tall glasses of overly sweetened lemonade for our own Blinking too often trying to blocked out tears; dark comes and words of nothing were the perfect reassurance Drown in thoughts smelling death; a simple sentence made it seems like a crazy thing to be afraid

Came from the same shit hole; gone through without feeling whole; were cut into the same pattern; had a parallel brain; the exact same burn leaving a stain

Life was fine until it isn't Until the ring at 3 am were no longer there Neither soggy voices, slurring words, nor sleepless companion Distance were our friend until it isn't Until the ugly reality sink in, kick in, and left us dead to each other Times were blurry but the mess is clear Broken soul, shit-stained existence, were ours from the very first As the moon were eaten, drifting away wasn't even a decision It happens under the conscience

I failed to remember how does it feel to have those days At the moment it all just a foggy memories Between the harsh words, cruel act, and lonely world We were ours before we have this sick feeling To face and to stand with each of our back to the other

We are reluctant to hurt those who reminded us of ourselves, they said Guess it was just what's left for now Wrapped within broken promises, empty words, and false memories You were rad and I was radiant Funny, funny thing, I don't even recognize who we are anymore Perhaps only exasperation, misery, fucked up agony Since a shitload of toxic are pumped into your blood and ignited white air clouding my lung

These nights are still sleepless Yet no longer the same at all I thank whatever it is that made it this way The honest girl out of me is screaming for the old classic days But the devil you've built doesn't even want to see your face I guess I wrote the first sentence wrong How can I remember when the memory itself feels like a haunting ghost All I can wonder is How, when, why did this happen out of the long gone bliss

We were an us against the world Right before

Between all of the things

You did

The poison of yours;

You serve, I draught

Flowing free inside my blood

  Among all of the excuses

You’re stuck with this:

For me being the one

Who know your blindside,

You thought you already set it right

  Between the sudden realization

And some flying accusation

That you know nothing

About me at all,

Somehow I am lost

Here I am

Writing you a simple hint

If you get it,

There are no rhymes 

At the intersection

We took the same left

Me walking on the sidewalk watching you whole

You drove away leaving behind my all 

The rear view mirror sees the difference

The night might be dark and full of terrors

The world might not stop spinning

Or starting to listen

Time might never be your friend

Or even be civil

It all may eat you alive

Or leave you to death

 The longing might not stop

The sorrow might not be drown

What can you expect after all

From this cruel thing we called as world

 The demon has already been by your side far too long

Dark thoughts is all along

But so am I

Just in case you forget

To live

To breathe

Turn me into anything you need

Anything that distract you

From the loaded gun inside your drawer

 The next time you let me,

I will put it in mine

Through the dark haunted night

Through the angry dizzy state

 Oh, darling, don’t you ever worry

I’ll always handing you the lighter

And the ashes will accompany you

Even when our heart was black and blue