#disabledmum

These two little trouble makers came with me to such a big and special appointment! I got the all clear from my surgeon!! 🌈🎉

I can book our flight this week to go to Canada in August and pick the girls up on my own again. He said I’ll probably never be pain free and there’s a chance I’ll need surgery later on down the line but considering where I’m at 6 weeks post-op to where I was pre-op and with the work he did he’s positive it should stay as it is for a daily long time.

He lit up when he saw me carrying Willow into the room with me, when I left I shook his hand and thanked him for giving me my life back, for giving my twins their mother back💕 he looked like he was holding back tears just before we left, seeing how broken down I was even on the day of surgery to now, and seeing not only his patient that he helped but the children he’d helped by helping their mother.

He is the best doctor I’ve ever had and to have him as my surgeon was an absolute honour. I can’t thank him enough for what he’s given me back. I won’t ever be as I was before, I am disabled and I will probably always struggle with severe chronic back pain and problems but it won’t ever be as horrific as it was.

Booking our flight back home tomorrow!! I can’t wait to see everyone☺️🇨🇦 The girls are going to be so happy seeing everyone again!

Wow, trying to explain to them how you feel to be told you'll be ok, you just need to get on with it, you dont have time to be ill. They act as if it's a choice believe me I would love it to be a choice so I can do more things, get dressed unaided, have a nice peaceful bath not having to have help in the shower, not falling over and having your little one bring you a blanket as hubby was upstairs and came rushing down, not having visits to hospital, having tests, procedures ect.

One of those questions where you never fully know how to answer, do you answer truthfully and say exactly how you feel- all your aches and pains, how anxious you feel, how low and depressed you feel, how tired you are etc if you were honest you would probably still be telling them how you feel once they are asleep so the phrase "I'm fine" tends to be the one to use. You have certain people you can talk to about how you truly feel but you always get a sense from people whether they are asking cause they truly care or whether they are just saying it to be polite!

Your always told honesty is the best policy however when your honest does it actually help, I find the more honest I am with how I feel the more pressure I feel to be 'FINE' like if you tell someone your feeling anxious about something they make you feel worse by saying you were ok about it last week or everyone goes through it, it makes you feel worse about how you feel. Or cancelling plans cause you are to unwell to go and get told you were fine yesterday so why you not today or you done it last weekend so why cant you do it today......

What's your favourite phrase to use?

Grrr well this is a new one on me trying to plan little ones birthday and having to ask at a childrens party area if its disabled friendly, to be told they only have a couple of parking spaces outside and although inside is all on one level they have no disabled toilets! How in this day in age is this still happening? Surely they should think about the basics when setting up a business that should cater for all needs??

That's a no for there then!

So this is my first post, so a bit about me I am a mum to a beautiful 2 year old, it's the most amazing feeling in the world however one of the hardest. I am disabled, I have up and down days, days I can make it outside, days I am stuck in bed, days where I make it out of bed but only to the sofa! Its so hard trying to explain to a 2 year old that mummy cant do the things that daddy does with him ect. His daddy (my husband) is also my carer and is amazing although he has his moments! I was told to start a blog about how I cope, what I do, struggles etc to try and help myself deal with it and to try and help others if I can.

Thank you for reading 😘