#disabledlife

Despite my recent tinnitus, it has been confirming today by an audiologist that my hearing A-OK! Apparently, my hearing is above average - like that of an 18-year-old (I'm 30).

👏🥳👏

I cannot put into words how relieved I am.

One of my greatest fears is losing one of my senses. This is especially due to the chronic pain in my hip, back and hands caused by my Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder and Hip Labral (Cartilage) Tear making me near unable to walk and struggle to use my hands - severely reducing my touch sense. As such, I was terrified that I might be losing some of my hearing. So, the fact that I'm not - my hearing is fine - is wonderful news!

Even if I do still have tinnitus in my left ear. Been referred for an MRI scan about that. Even so. Yay!

~ Let's talk about ableism and some things not to do/say to disabled/chronically ill people~

^^ before I go into this, this is based off of my own experiences and may not be the same for every disabled person because, you know, we're all different! But this is general advice ✌️

Don't say "you're too young/pretty to be disabled" → this is not the compliment you think it is. Disability/illness doesn't discriminate, a young person can most definitely be disabled/chronically ill. Secondly, if you think someone is "too pretty" to be disabled then clearly you have a very stereotypical image of disability in your head which you need to stop perpetuating.

Don't say "you don't look disabled" → as said above, this is not a compliment and all you are doing is adding to the preconceived stereotype' that disability has a certain look which is damaging to the disabled community.

Don't assume anything about what we can or cannot do. Maybe we can walk a little one day but not at all the next. Maybe we could attend that party on the weekend but nothing else for the week following. Disability is not always linear/stable - we have bad days and worse days, days where we force ourselves to do things and suffer the consequences later. BUT GUESS WHAT, YOU DON'T GET TO QUESTION THAT.

Don't touch our mobility aids without permission. Whether it is a wheelchair, cane, crutch or something else. Those aids are our freedom, moving them without permission is the same as touching/moving us without permission.

Don't talk to us like we are children/don't talk to who is with us instead of us. → a significant amount of disabled people are able to speak for themselves, and speaking to us like children is belittling and rude.

Don't just ask us questions about our disabilities. Some of us are happy to answer questions, some of us are not. It depends on a lot of situational factors, so take this into account. Our disabilities are a part of our lives and are not a lesson for others.

Also we are not sources for inspiration for you to build your saviour complex upon. My disability is a part of my life and I don't need people telling me how tragic it is or offering me remedies. We know how to manage our illness much better than you.

Please don't approach us in the street to pray for us/over us and tell us our suffering will be rewarded in heaven... My disability is not a tragedy imposed upon me as a lesson or trial - it's a part of my life.

Watch your wording too, disabled people are not broken or lacking in any way - and ableist language is damaging. We are whole, we are people - we are not the issue, the issue is we live in a world/society that is not designed accessibly.

WE ARE NOT TIRED FOR NO REASON. We are tired because our bodies are constantly fighting. We are tired because of medication, chronic fatigue and any other plethora of symptoms related to our illnesses

The same disability/chronic illness may present differently in different people so don't assume you know more about it than the person who has the illness/disability.

Disabled/chronically ill are both very broad terms which house numerous different conditions and illnesses beneath it. There is no one size fits all approach to what disability is and we need to stop acting like there is. The person who knows best is the person with that disability or chronic illness.

by Yuki_White (@yukiwhitetm @sentariana)

"She's a liar," they all said

Behind upturned hands,

Their noses stuck up and red

And eyes suspiciously squinted.

"You're a liar," they all said

To my face with clenched hands,

As if their accusations could fill me with dread

And force me to take the witness stand.

"What happened to you?" they all said,

Their nosiness overriding propriety,

Believing they have a right to tread

Onto land where my medical history is buried.

"What's wrong with you?" they all said,

Rudeness incarnate, leaving me trying

For a polite way to cut them off at the head

With a "None of your business," and them complying.

"You're too young," they all said,

Quickly followed up by, "Have you tried yoga?"

Or even the foulest "It's all in your head!"

To which I'm bubbling over like a shaken bottle of Coca Cola.

"You have HSD and a labral hip tear," doctors said,

"It won't get better or go away,

You just have to cope with it instead

Because your disability is here to stay."

"I'm disabled," I say,

And it took me years to accept it;

My disability is here to stay,

Chronic pain and fatigue to my body committed.

In the end, it doesn't matter what they say,

Their questions and accusations don't

Change my situation in anyway.

But it would help immensely if they'd their ear loan

To me as I say,

"It's none of your business what someone's medical

Diagnoses and history

Are nor is it likely they're lying or any less than credible.

"So, please stop saying

All of these things because they're

Rude, unhelpful and only catering