#dirtdragon

TORAH YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, but i do it cuz I love it

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa: Torah obviously. Too busy daydreaming, being short, looking up at her giraffe boyfriend to read the signs on doors

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them: Both but instead of hearts its dragons and giraffes and other weird nonsense that these two doodle

Who starts the tickle fights: Torah, though I can’t be sure if dirtbag is even ticklish so Torah probably provokes the tickle fight and by doing so immediately loses, every single time

Who starts the pillow fights: Again Torah, dirtbag may let her win though because Torah’s so tiny and beating up something so small is just so sad after a while. But only after a few good pillow smacks to the face.

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile: Lewis probably, maybe pretends to fall asleep first and then once Torah’s asleep he’s just like aw look at this person, half my size, that I’m dating

Who mistakes salt for sugar: I feel like this happens to Torah all the time, just again not paying attention but I feel like dirtbag can be oblivious sometimes to (see: how long it took for these two to get together) so it might happen to him sometimes too. But Torah. I can see it. Often. 

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning: both. it turns into a war. they’re both little shits and they actually start waking themselves up without any intention of eating the food they put in the microwave because they just want to one-up the other. it’s a problem. the neighbors hate them.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines: UUUUUUGH TORAH (exhibit a)

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order: honestly the books probably just end up on the shelf, somehow. lewis puts books torah wants to read on the top shelves, just to screw with her.

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies: they both end up licking the spoon, and the bowl, and the batter, no brownies get made and they both end up with food poisoning from eating the raw batter

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion: Torah, they’re usually dragon shaped or something weird, what a freak

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen: Torah obviously. dirtbag probably wakes up and walks around without even realizing it anymore, or caring, just a walking pen-tattoo

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation: lewis, because he has the decency to actually purchase his souvenirs, meanwhile torah has seashells and wildlife stuffed into her bag