#digisecretsanta2021

Wistfully, Hikari attempted to manifest a blizzard, anything to get her out of the crowded streets and into her warm apartment.

“Oh!” Miyako exclaimed. For the sixth time that hour, her attention had been grabbed by a flashy storefront, fairy lights twinkling in her eyes. Hikari shivered, the sound of her teeth clattering reverberating in her skull.

The text alert of her phone obscured Hikari’s groan of protest. Miyako’s grip on her wrist was tight, pulling her into the crowded shop. Bags dug angry, pink welts into her arms, but she didn’t have the heart to complain. With Miyako studying abroad in Spain, it wasn’t often that the two were able to see each other. Hikari didn’t want to ruin their night.

With Miyako fully distracted in investigating racks of clothes, Hikari spared a glance at her phone. ‘Dinner is ready whenever you are! Have fun with Miya; I miss you.’

Blood rushed to her cheeks, a small smile spreading across her cheeks. Even after all they had been through, Takeru still managed to make her heart flutter.

“Hot date?” A familiar pair of prying eyes hovered over her shoulder. With a flick, the phone snapped shut. “He has dinner ready for me whenever we decide to leave.”

Miyako’s eyebrows wiggled with suggestion, the flush on Hikari’s cheeks only egging her on. “It sounds like tonight is a special night, Hika.” Though her smirk twitched teasingly, her hazel eyes glittered with warmthh.

“I’m going to pretend that I have no idea what you’re saying.”

“Oh, c’mon! You can’t be that dense.” Her warmth was replaced with annoyance. Hikari remained unbothered, having spent her childhood navigating Miyako’s mood swings. Her arms crossed over her chest, bags swinging. “Dense? I’m sorry; do you have me confused with my brother?”

A sigh ruffled loose strands of lavender hair. The brunette didn’t budge, passerbys giving an odd glance at the tense pair. “You know that’s not what I meant. Can I ask you a question?”

Her dark hair swung with a nod, lips pursed together.

“How long have you and Takeru been together?” A holiday tune droned in the background, the cheery atmosphere seeming out-of-place with Miyako’s odd question.

“Five years. But, you already knew that. Miyako, I’m confused.” Anxiety chewed at her bottom lip, eyebrows scrunched in worry.

Her friend huffed, arms flailing. “You should be! It’s been five years, Hikari. Why do you settle for cute little texts and homemade meals? That should be the minimum of what he does for you.”

“I don’t know what point you’re trying to make, but if you brought me shopping just so you could criticize my relationship, I want to go home. Home, Miyako. You know? As in, the apartment Takeru and I rent together.”

Shock sagged at the corners of Miyako’s mouth. Her arm reached out, palm resting on Hikari’s shoulder for a brief second before it was shrugged away. “That’s not what I meant. Hikari, you tend to settle. You settled for having Takeru as a friend, and you were miserable,” an indignant scoff erupted from Hikari, a flush returning to her face. “You were!” Miyako continued, “You avoided every girl he talked to and hardly ate for the entire two weeks he had a girlfriend. It wasn’t until he asked you out that you allowed yourself that happiness. It’s been five years, Hikari. Is he ever going to propose?”

A dull ache hummed in Hikari’s chest. Reflexively, her eyes settled on the diamond around Miyako’s finger. She had been the first person Miyako had called when Ken had proposed. Initially, she was elated; her best friend was getting married.

When would it be her turn? When would Takeru bend on a single knee, eyes glimmering with promises of the future?

Did he want her in his future?

Hikari’s silence unnerved Miyako, an apology falling from the older girl’s lips.

“No,” Hikari amended, “Don’t apologize. You’re right. I can’t keep waiting for things to change; I need tell him how I feel.”

With a hug, Hikari was off, the weight of the bags no longer being the heaviest thing on her mind.

-

Nerves bundled in Hikari’s stomach as her key turned in the doorknob. From outside, she could hear Takaru hum a nonsensical tune, voice light and cheerful. The smell of vegetable soup greeted her in the foyer, stomach growling despite the anxiety.

“Oh!” Takeru’s bright eyes looked up from the pot on the stove, “You’re home early! How was shopping with Miyako? Did you have fun?”

Hands shaking, Hikari took time to remove her boots. Silence coatied the room like a suffocating wool blanket. “It was fine.”

“Just fine? You guys haven’t seen each other in forever; I thought it would have been more fun than that.”

With her shoes and coat in their rightful places, Hikari had no other reason to stall. Her silence tensed at Takeru’s shoulders, his eyebrows scrunching together. “Is everything alright?”

“Takeru,” she began, heart sinking into her stomach, “We need to talk.”

The spoon clattered into the pot, bits of broth splashing onto the blonde’s cheek. Twinkling lights illuminated from their living room, a sickening contrast to the ice that pierced Hikari’s stomach.

“What’s wrong?” He stopped just short of her, afraid of overwhelming her with his embrace. Hikari could feel a smile tug at the corner of her mouth; even in distress, Takeru’s first thought was always of her comfort.

“Do you love me?” Her voice was calm. With her palms clasped behind her back, Takeru wouldn’t be able to see her shaking.

Takeru’s eyes widened, mouth agape. “What do you mean? What’s going on, Hikari?”

She could feel the tears barricade her eyelashes, threatening to fall. “Please,” her voice broke, “Just tell me. Do you love me?” Her face was wet, no longer able to hold her tears back.

In a single breath, Takeru pulled her into his chest. One hand rested on the small of her back while the other tangled itself in her wind-mussed locks. He smelled of vegetables and pine tree, his heart beating erratically against her ear.

“I am immersed in my love for you, Hikari. What would ever make you doubt that?” His lips pressed chaste kisses in her hair, mixing with the saltwater of his own tears.

“Then why aren’t we married?” Her voice was muffled against the front of his apron, but Takeru heard her. He always did.

For a moment, he pulled away, stepping into the living room. A sob slipped through Hikari’s lips, her heart shattering. The branches of their Christmas tree rustled, the floor creaking under Takeru’s footsteps.

His warm palm caressed her cheek, thumb wiping away the tears that trailed down her cheeks. “Hikari, look at me.”

Though her eyes were swollen and bloodshot, Takeru’s heart leapt into his throat. Hikari was breathtaking, even in sadness.

“It’s Christmas Eve, my love. Do you mind opening a present early?”

Hikari remained frozen, searching his eyes for any answers. “How will opening a present fix this, Takeru?” Her voice was no more than a whisper, barely audible over his pulse pounding in his ears.

“Trust me.”

Always, she thought. A little black box, no bigger than her palm, was thrust in her grasp.

“Wha-” Takeru pressed a finger to her chapped lips. With a flourish, he lowered himself onto a singular knee, flicking her gift open.

“I had it all planned, my love. We were going to visit your parents for dinner tomorrow. Taichi would be there with Meiko, making some lame joke about how I’m corrupting his little sister and we would laugh. I love your laugh,” His blue eyes shone in earnest, making no effort to hide the tears that streamed down his cheeks. “I love everything about you.”

“Takeru, please, I-” Her clothes were wrinkled from the hours spent shopping, soup burning on the stove.

“Please,” he begged, “Let me finish.” Takeru gazed up at her through wet lashes, waiting patiently for her nod of approval. Only then, did he continue.

“Your dad would ask Taichi about grandbabies then nudge me, pestering me about a wedding. You would blush and stumble and be absolutely radiant. I had it all planned, my love. It’s always been planned, you and I. You are the only future I want, Hikari. Please, allow me to be apart of yours, too. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

With a sob, her arms circled around his neck, pressing kisses into his hair, his cheek, any part that she could reach.