diego: patch talks in her sleep sometimes. it's adorable
patch, sleeping: fight me... you motherfucker... square up... i think the fuck not

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diego: patch talks in her sleep sometimes. it's adorable
patch, sleeping: fight me... you motherfucker... square up... i think the fuck not

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the umbrella idiots as curse words/their favorite curse words
Vanya: hell
Luther: fuck
Allison: motherfucker
Klaus: ass
Five: shit
Ben: dumbass
Diego: bitch
diego: your existence is confusing
klaus: how?
diego: your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me
klaus: i am covered in blood for sexy reasons
klaus: also, i just got stabbed
diego: who ate all the powdered donuts
allison, staring at klaus: i think i might have an idea
klaus, covered in white powder: it wasn't me!
diego: you're literally covered in the powder!
klaus: .... it's cocaine
~ Later ~
diego: oh, the donuts were in the fridge.
diego:
diego:
diego: KLAUS

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allison, holding up an unlabeled bottle: is this whiskey or perfume?
klaus: lemme see
klaus: *takes the bottle and chugs it*
klaus: it's perfume
allison: i don't dress to impress. i dress to depress. i want to look so good people hate themselves.
allison: i think luther is in trouble.
diego: alright. struggling to give a fuck, if i'm being honest.