#footballz happy birthday to Leonard Fournette! You are in the midst of your first year carrying the ball in the pros and it seems like you're pretty dang good! Your team, (the horrifyingly helmeted to some but delightfully helmeted to me) The Jacksonville Jaguars, are in the AFC championship game this weekend! That's also pretty dang good! Of course you're playing the Goldman Sachs of football, Donald Trump's favorite team, the best team of the 21st century, the New England Patriots! Now Leonard, I got a little drunk last night and a Patriots loving friend of mine asked me if I thought you could beat them and I said that you could! I didn't think that you would but I did think you could and that I wanted you to! Then my friend asked me what I wanted to happen and I said, again a little drunkenly, "I hope they stomp Tom Brady's dick into dust." Now that was a bit hyperbolic and now in the light of day I HOPE YOU STOMP TOM BRADY'S DICK INTO DUST AND THEN THAT DUST CHOKES BILL BELICHICK TILL HE BARFS AND POOPS ALL OVER HIMSELF AND THE CAMERAS CATCH IT AND THEN ROBERT KRAFT SEES IT AND DOES THE SAME ALL OVER HIS DISGUSTING WHITE SNEAKERS WITH A SUIT LOOK! So help me out, Leonard Fournette, because I'm celebrating you on your birthday! #footballzeroftheday #footballzbirthdays #leonardfournette #jacksonvillejaguars #coolhelmets #dickstompedintodust
