#diaryofanaddict

Drugs and hugs Well I guess I could say I went into full relapse on accident like a dumbass and Tim never noticed and finally I just came out and told him and that I needed help it’s kinda freaking me out but he’s being very supportive and telling me I’m not pathetic and I made a mistake and old Tim wanted to come out but he’s not gonna run away I really don’t know what’s happened to him maybe…

Okay

1. I am on xanax and some other things right now which gave me this idea.

2. I have had several therapists tell me to journal but I hate journaling so what better than a blog?

3. I was just hospitalized for the 4th time in the past 2 years due to heroin and cocaine destroying my body. My next post will have pictures and details. I've had endocarditis which is a bad infection in your heart, sepsis which is when bacteria gets in your blood and it's a very deadly infection, another time my ex drugged me because he had been up several days and convinced himself I was a fed that was after him so he drugged me with xanax, GHB, ketamine, and I already had heroin and cocaine in my system. Because of that combo I had to call 911 on myself because I thought I was dying. I had a seizure in the ambulance and my kidney function was low along with my respiratory function. My legs even swelled up horribly from my kidneys not functioning. Another time I had gotten a pill laced with fentanyl and died. I was supposed to be completely dead. I had to be narcaned 7 times and that didn't even work so the EMTs proceeded to use the paddles on my chest to try to shock my heart back into working. It worked and I woke up with a broken sternum from that and my ex pounding on my chest when I passed out.

4. I just got a hepatitis C diagnosis. Which is new for me. I know it's curable but my liver already is badly scarred up from my uses. I'm supposed to have 6 months clean to be treated. At least that is my physicians rule.