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For a mother distance never matters when it is about a son and for Lana and Ben, it was always a pleasure to jump on the truck and go see their son and her lovely wife, and even now that they became grandparents of a cute little angel. Emmet was now four months old and that spark of energy so peculiar in children of his age spilled joy to his new family.
"bgbbfrghrhrfrfrfrflflrllrlrlrl!" Lana's face was buried in little Emmet's tummy. Her excitement was something hard to control when she was around her grandson, but it seemed to be ok for little Emmet who was laughing hard till he lost his breath.
"Dinner's ready, Lana." Beth came close stretching her arms to take her son.
"Oh Bethy, let him be with his grandma for a while, you have it twenty four seven." Her big ashgray eyes pleading.
"She's right, I can't even hug you as it should be." Daryl slid his arms from her back around her waist, planting a kiss on her head. "I'm starting to feel jealous."
After the dinner, Daryl and his father and brother were chatting about job stuffs outside in the backyard, playing with little Emmet, and Beth and Lana were washing dishes inside the kitchen.
"He's growing so fast." said her mother-in-law. Longing detected in her tone.
"Yeah. He's beautiful." Beth sighed weary. The thoughts about her son were constantly of her biological mother. Who she was, where she lived, what would have looked like. Pretty sure she was gorgeous, cause his little face resembled one of a seraphim, big deep ocean eyes and a big smile, his hair ash blonde like her father-in-law. It wouldn't be hard for them to hide the truth to him when he'd grow up. They could easily tell him he's like papa Ben. Still, Beth wasn't complete and it stained her happy thoughts with selfishness. Even when she commited under the laws of God and men to love that child as her own, that woulnd't change the fact that he wasn't hers. He didn't form inside her, she never went through pain to bring him to this world. That bond was broken, cracked by her own wishes that would never become true. And even when Daryl had told her he didn't mind she wasn't fertile, she couldn't erase that shadow casted over her. The shadow of shame.
Lana read her eyes, understanding what her daughter-in-law was feeling right in that moment. She had seen that same look on herself almost thirty years ago, when she took Daryl and Merle with them.
"Did you know I was diagnosed with cancer?" Lana broke the uncomfortable silence. The only thing making noise was the dishes tickling in the metallic sink.
"some years after that Ben and I decided to adopt. My uterus had to be removed. He and I, went through many stuff. Our marriage was about to end, he didn't want to be around me anymore, and I give him the reason cause I used to be so negative about it. I let myself fall into grief. Like if someone had actually died."
Beth listened carefully without looking at Lana.
"anyways. Spent several years on therapy, joining groups, going to church, and Ben registered us in the list of community service to support any other people who needed our help. Some weeks later someone called, asked shelter for a pair of kids. Daryl and Merle. And yes, I felt the same way as you do right in this moment, Beth. I was angry because I wanted children of my own, but these two kids needed me and Ben more than I needed to satisfy a biological need of my body. They needed a mother, and I couldn't go around complaining about my fate, my destiny, when two children were alone in this world suffering a fate worse than mine."
Lana got a point.
"We all have jobs to do, Bethy." Her father's voice echoing inside her mind."
...
Beth bent over to put Emmet inside the crib when Daryl embraced her from behind. He rested his chin on her head and planted a kiss. He was now completely aware of the enormous sacrifice and effort his father, his real father Ben had done for him and Merle. It gave him a contagious spark of pride, same pride he felt for his wife.
She turned to face him and immediately received a kiss in her lips. They were now happy, rejoiced for finally having a family. A family they would protect and love fiercely, like their own parents had taught them to.
He clenched his arms around her, inviting her to be his once more. And this path they followed, the path of love that lead straight to passion, a passion that burnt inside them both, the holy flames that enlighted their union.
Daryl didn't sleep that night. He spend the hours watching his wife, his loved woman sleep peacefully over his chest, without worries or ghosts shadowing her anymore. He wished so bad, so sick he could be able to give her everything in this world: peace, happiness, an endless joy, a life free of problems, out of fear and sorrow. But he knew that life would be boring without some problems to overcome every now and then.
The hour marked 7:41 a.m. and he totally against his will got up from bed and dressed for a new day of hard work. Before leaving the room, he gave Beth a last look and quickly reached her and kissed her gently in the cheek.
Beth stirred among the blankets, still naked. She opened her eyes and the bed was empty. Daryl had already gone to work, but not without leaving her some things. She saw a small paper folded next to her pillow with her name, she unfolded it and saw four words that made her cry.
"You are my everything"
He was right thinking he wouldn't never give Beth everyting in this world, because she was his world, his all over all.
AU: Daryl and Beth decide to start a family together...
Master plan
Daryl grabbed the keys of his truck, pulling on his coat with the same excitement a child would have to go out and play below the rain. "Beth...sweetie, are you ready?"Â
Beth was sat by the window, in the same spot she and Daryl sat silently the entire night until sunrise.
"Yes" She answered a few seconds later, her eyes round and intensley blue they could be spotted even in the grey light of the stormy day.
Once they were inside the truck and heading to the foster house, the storm unleashed its fury of thunders and rain worthy of a passage from the Bible. That didn't help much for her emotional state. Daryl grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him, pulling a gasp of surprise from her. The rest of the road he placed his right arm around her, rubbing her shoulders and kissing her forehead in every red light. He knew she hated thunderstorms so bad.
They arrived at the house, and her hands turned cold and sweaty just immedately. She felt the least capable woman to take care of a child. She wasn't mistaken. She had a ton load of love to spare to anyone, but the idea of rasing a child that was not of her own terrified her to the point of shivering. Daryl hugged her and rubbed her back, kissing her lips sweetly as both rushed to the entrance to avoid getting more wet.
The place was big. It used to be a cloister of nuns where the people sent their children to be raised and educated, later on it became a foster house for orphan children, still run and managed by nuns. The tall heavy doors opened and a nun with hard expression led them to the halls.
"Good afternoon, are you Mr. and Mrs. Dixon?"
"Yes. We're here for the..."
"The appointment for adoption, right." The nun cut him with a strict tone, as if he were a student that had to be scolded. "Follow me."
She spinned in her tracks and headed towards a large aisle full of rooms. They entered in the one at the end which was the office of the Abbess.
"Good Afternoon, I am Mother Temperance, please take a seat!" The Abbess said, her grey eyes in a sweet glare. Beth thought in Daryl's mother, she had that same kind expression. Beth's tension eased and escaped a sighed smile to her husband at her right. He grabbed her sweaty hand and squeezed it in signal of support.
"You were the young couple that called the other day, right?"
Beth nodded energically, letting know she was nervous as hell. Daryl passed a yellow folder to Mother Temperance, who grabbed it and gave it a quick look.
"Alright, then. So you already know the steps and procedures of adoption. I guess Sister Claire explained it all to you the other day you called." She said to Daryl and Beth, closing the folder of forms they filled in and filed it in a drawer beneath the desk. "Fortunately you fulfill the requirements. The procedure may take a while and luckily, if accepted, you can become parents in just a few weeks." the Abbess concluded with a bright smile. Outside the storm hadn't ceased a bit, but the news made Beth feel like being in a sunny day running by a green hill with arms open.
"Now, come with me. Let's take a look at the place."
Mother Temperance talked about the history of the cloister and gave them a small tour around the different rooms and explained the different activities developed not only for the kids living there, but also for the community, which called Beth's attention. She had been feeling lonely and her work as a secretary in the hospital started to turn repetitive and dull somehow. That was a good place to let her mind drift away from weariness as she'd keep herslef busy. She liked to help others.
Daryl held Beth's hand tight as they heard the laughs and giggles of dozens of children between 5 and 10 years old sat at a long table in the dinning room. It was something warm and lovely to hear all those kids who were propably left by their mothers, or lost their whole families smile and be happy around them, living a good life some way better than any other destiny they might have faced if haven't arrived to that shelter.
"I have to ask you something" Mother Temperance broke the silence, Daryl and Beth's face turned to the Abbess in front of them. "Are you planning to adopt a grown up or a newborn? I ask you, because most of the people prefer to adopt a newborn rather than a grown up, but either way, a child needs love no matter his or her age."
Daryl looked at Beth and she gave him back the same gaze. Mother Temperance was right, a child needs love and caring the same any other person of different age would do, but he knew her too well to figure out they were looking a newborn baby to establish a bond since the beginning.
"Mother," Beth took the leap to talk first, " I...we...three years ago I found out I can't have children. And I...well"
"Ok, then," Mother Temperance smiled and nodded slowly, understanding Beth's point of view, "follow me."
They walked through another long aisle and their hearts melted at the sound of tender cooings and whimpers of babies crawling and playing with toys spread in the ground. Beth fought the impulse to break into sobs as Daryl held her close from her waist. Mother Temperance glanced at them from the corner of her eye and smiled to herself.
"These are the youngers. They don't know it yet, but most of these little angels suffered terrible things. We work hard and pray to our Lord in Heaven to bless their paths and keep us with energy and will to give them a decent and peaceful life. People like you are the ones we pray the hardest for. People with good heart and commited souls to love a little angel descended directly from Heaven above. Sister Ellise..." a youn nun carrying a child in her arms came close to MotherTemperance a she whispered something to her ear and walked away nodding.
"Come, I want you to meet someone." Sister Ellise came back with a bundle of blue blankets. Inside the nest there rested a beautiful baby boy of just some days born, peacefully asleep.
"He's beautiful" Beth said. Sister Ellise passed him to Daryl, a smile drawn in his face as his harsh fingers grazed his soft silk hair.
"Just like his mother." Mother Temperance answered. "Her name was Amy. She came here two days ago, showed up in the middle of the night. She was already in labor and her condition was terrible. Bruised skin, a lost look in her eyes, blood dripping from her nose. We tried to look for her family but we found out her father died when she was 15. She had a sister though, a lawyer called Andrea but she passed away five years ago in a car crash. We took care of her and helped her to have her baby, but she didn't make it. She died the day before yesterday"
Beth gave Daryl a look of self pity.
"I don't know and don't want to imagine what could have been of this little prince if his mother never decided to come to us, and if he were here anyways and you were able to have kids, probably you two would have never came here to protect this angel. God our Lord works in mysterious ways, strange to us who do not know His master plans. And I am quite sure he does not take without giving."
Beth stood quiet, shocked at the statement of Mother Temperance. She was rigth. If she couldn't have a son it was because her son was already in this world. What they only had to do was look for him. Daryl drew Beth close to him, kissing her temple and resting his chin on her head.
"I would like you to take him with you. I can see you two are blessed with love, our Lord's love. The most powerful thing in this world, and sure what this kid an the others living here as well need so desperately."
Daryl stroked his small head, feeling the softness of his tender skin going directly to his stomach litting something warm inside. He looked at Beth, who had now her cheeks wet in tears. Daryl passed the baby to his wife, placing a hand on her back, supportively. They didn't know it but they were destined to guard that child's life and deliver themselves all for him. It was going to be hard, and both needed to be there for each other. He held her hand and fixed his electric gaze on her sky blues.
Mother Temperance observed their interactions. She didn't need a spoken answer.
"Well, it's settled then." She said nodding and smiling, feeling confidant about her decision to let Mr. and Mrs. Dixon be the parents of that beautiful baby.
...
three weeks later...
Beth wiped the sweat from her temples off with the back of her hand, painting herself accidentally with pastel blue. The last coat of paint was drying as Daryl started to move the crib and the furniture into the baby's room. When she went back from the bathroom to clean up herself the paint she was astonished at the view of the room. The white crib stood in front of the window, glowing as the white sheets reflected the light from outside, the white drawer placed at the bottom of the room with a small sidelamp on it, the whie swingchair righ next to the window filled with blue plushies and small pillows. Daryl was pulling the white veil on top of the crib when he turned his eyes to Beth. He couldn't resist to smile of excitement. Their family was about to start with good omens.
The phone rang downstairs and both rushed to reach it. Daryl answered. It was Mother Temperance.
"What did she say?" asked Beth impatiently, her eyes round.
"Paperwork just came. We can go pick him"
She jumped and cliped him with her legs and arms, pulling a loud 'yes' as he crashed her against him.
They showered together to save time and in less than twenty minutes they were ready and on their way to the cloister.
Beth was sat at Mother Temperance's desk but Daryl was so impatient he started to pace back and forth, biting his nails. Sister Ellise came in with the baby in her arms. His soft cooings and uneven shakings ringing sweetly like small bells.
Beth took him in her arms. It couldn't be true. She stared at his water blue eyes, just as her mother or father, whoever used to be.
"Ok, new parents, we're not finished yet." She said smiling. She opened a large folder in front of her and handed a pen to Daryl. Carefully he filled up each line in the documents, but he stopped at one in particular.
Name:______________________________-
"Sweetie, we don't have a name" He said worried. Beth realized that too. They'd never set a name before. Never agreed on a particular one. Not even mentioned to each other any day when they started dating or the day of their wedding, not even in the honeymoon.
Beth stared at her baby, her son from now on. A small baby boy who she wanted to be a good decent man, just as the man who took him as son, and the father of him as his own when his world fell appart...She didn't think too much to have the right name.
"I was thinking...Benjamin, like your father. I've always liked that name too."
"Tha'ts a good name, sweetheart." He smirked and turned his head back to the paper. His calligraphy filled every blank space on each document as he proudly wrote his first son's full name: