#dezlet

FIVE IS TOO SMALL A NUMBER HERE JESUS

I’m going to try to keep away from plot spoilers we all know the one thing at the end of s2 is the saddest thing ever that just goes without saying. 

I have started this list ten times and completely failed

These are five very sad moments they might not be the SADDEST but they are the ones I am thinking of in no particular order

1. Neil trying to be a better person and letting Martin go, only to be forced to regret that later

2. Alfred crying as he tells Aurora the experiences of the girls from the ‘school’

3. Neil and Rolf in the basement for the final time with Neil begging Rolf to tell him he was lying

4. Aurora forcing Harry to watch the consequences of his assassination

Yeah….no, like, I haven’t done any research about ptsd and I’m not a therapist but this uh. I don’t think that’s how it works?

*sigh* It’s really not. And like. I’m trying to figure out if I can verbalize WHY she is wrong to her and maybe it’s a thing that we can work past.

It feels a lot like “Well everything happens for a reason” which . . . okay, sometimes the reason is just “Someone was an asshole, and there was really no call for that at all”.

2. Who was your favourite character when you began watching? And did it change over the course of the show?  Despite my Later Realizations About How I Was Wrong I spent the first season absolutely furious with Flint all the time! I was also not in love with Silver because of the thick layers of smarm s1 Silver had slathered all over him. So my favourite was MY WAYWARD SON, BILLY BONES.

Obviously as I binged the seasons this shifted into HELLO HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD WORD OF OUR DISASTER WANNABE SAVIOUR JAMES FLINT since I love an antihero (especially a queer one)

11. Which actors would you like to see switching roles? I am having a really hard time with this because this show is amazingly cast. However, knowing that there was a time when Luke Arnold wasn’t sure whether he was going to be John Silver or Charles Vane, I’m gonna say Luke Arnold as Vane and Zach McGowan as Silver would have been uhhhh interesting.

Honourable mention: Jessica Parker Kennedy as Anne Bonny hnnnnnngh

5. putting Cold as Ice on the jukebox when Barry shows up to talk to him, why is he like this

4. Any time he says ‘peachy’ and means the opposite

3. “Jerk.” “Trainwreck.”

2. Any time he and Mick point guns at each other as an opening salvo to a conversation LEARN TO COMMUNICATE BETTER WITH YOUR HUSBAND

Aww <3

I don’t think there’s a lot anyone can do about it.  The whole Anniversary of Holy Shit I Left has just been hitting me in weird ways all month.

I’ve been twitchy and pre-emptively apologizing for things that don’t require apologies and aren’t my fault and feeling like a ball of frustration over all of it and I would like to SCREAM.  (Which I have, into a pillow, several times.)

I HATE feeling like this SO much, but all I can do right now is remind myself that I have come really far and that just because I’m feeling bad RIGHT NOW does not negate my progress.

I DID read a few chapters of the manga back when I was a small but I don’t remember much (also I rarely see it on my dash but this is my general cultural osmosis)

a) ninjas who live in themed villages!

b) normalized shonen child endangerment

c) liam o’brien voices gaara, sand guardian, guardian of the sand in the dub

d) there’s an entire family of people who listen to emo and wear weird contacts

e) there’s a bunch of weird themed villains who are VERY popular

awwwwwwwww ily babe