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fic rec: (like a heartbeat) drives you mad by periodically_puzzled
"sam starts having sex dreams about his brother. but that could mean nothing, right?"
best thing I've read in the fandom in ages. genuinely captures their voices and dynamic perfectly. the dialogue is incredible, and the premise is is so well executed.
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I think dean would let castiel watch him and sam fuck and call it educational
dean is like if cain wanted to be his brother’s keeper
beloved, you tagged a post with "#something something when you grow up attached to someone #they become yourself" with your dean tag
how do you think that dean's attachment to sam differs from a healthy (dare i say, normal) sibling dynamic where sibling A takes an almost parental pride/love in sibling B? what do you think triggers that difference? is it purely the way that they were raised, or is there something else you believe caused dean to cross that line?
🤍
I did because I think that Dean sees Sam as an irreplaceable part of him not exclusively in an emotional way but in a very visceral physical, inarguable way like an essential body part whose absence is not only noticeable but disruptive to his existence.
I think that the way that John structured Sam's care and saftey as Dean's responsibility when he wasn't there to be the parental figure definitely has a huge role in the way that their relationship operates but I also think that the fact that Dean identifies the way his mind works as "twisted" or wrong several times in the series also gives some insight on the fact that he doesn't identify his understanding of love and connection with normality. (I think this is also highlighted with his frustration with Sam that despite the fact that they had the same childhood Sam is able to process relationships/connection in a much more "healthy" way despite the fact that his relationship with Dean is equally unhealthy it just manifests in a different way that Dean can't understand or appreciate fully)
I think that Dean is a very co-dependent personality while Sam is a personality who had co-dependency ingrained in his upbringing but has a natural instinct toward independence. Dean finds enmeshment safer and more preferable to loneliness because he sees himself as part of a bigger whole (i.e. the family) while Sam sees himself as an individual. I think Sam is possessive over Dean's attention while Dean is possessive over Sam not because he sees Sam as wholly different person, but because he doesn't see himself without Sam also being a part of him. I feel like to Dean they are a type of conjoined twin, unable to exist without the other, not by choice but by nature which makes their separation even more unnatural and painful to him. I do think he cannot live without Sam which is why he makes the choices he does it's not wholly a selfless desire to protect but the inability to exist without his physical half.
dean takes being his brother’s keeper so seriously that it genuinely turns off his own personal morality
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I’d hold the gun if you asked me to
But if you love me like you say you do
Would you ask me to
my tag for insane winchester antics and behaviors is now devotion that corrupts
