(random character development) 1, 4, 11 ?
1 / has robin ever had a near-death experience? what happened, and what did she see, if anything?
yes, more than enough times, actually. it’s a risk she’s accepted the moment she began her side job with thomas — one time in particular, about five years ago, her wounds caused an infection that spread all through her body, a fever knocking her out for almost a week — thomas barely managed to save her, & even then it took her a month to be completely alright again. she can’t remember seeing anything to make her believe in any sort of afterlife, though she did see the faces of everyone in her own personal pantheon of people she’s let down — noelle, mitch, her parents, & wren, her voice singing as an ominous background to each fever-ridden dream of hers.
2 / what was the worst day of robin’s life? did it ruin them, or did she pick herself back up and dust herself off?
november 14th, 2003. a packed church, the last farewell to a good girl, gone up in flames. grieving parents in the front row, & robin at the far end of the church — numb, unable to voice the words screaming inside of her. it’s my fault. i’m sorry. it’s my fault. i’m sorry. so loud, she doesn’t hear a word from the priest’s mouth — she keeps looking around & smelling burnt flesh, smoke crawling from beneath the doors. when she sees a stranger’s head crowned with flames, robin screams — thomas has to take her out by force, dragging her out while she keeps kicking & screaming ‘cause it’s burning, it’s burning, don’t you see ? everything’s burning. she can’t stick around for the burial. she can’t apologize & look noelle’s parents in the eyes. she keeps yelling & kicking until the only choice is sedation: she wakes up in a hospital room, & though everything’s white & sterile, she swears she still smells smoke. ( doesn’t ever truly recover from it, though she tries. she can pretend she’s moved on, but there’s a thick rope still tying her to that day — she’s moved on, but perhaps that moment’s learned how to move alongside her, too ).
3 / has she learned from her past mistakes, or does she continue to repeat them? if it’s the latter, is she aware that she’s repeating them and simply doesn’t bother to do anything about it, or is she unaware of it?
the way she sees it, her biggest, unforgivable mistake has been failing in protecting people, keeping them safe from harm. wren first, noelle afterwards — both sacrificed because robin didn’t know better, couldn’t protect them. she’s lived her life trying to make up for that, constantly sacrificing herself on the altar of hard work & knowledge, doing her best to never be caught by surprise, never allow those stories to repeat themselves again. she’s collected more mistakes along the way, & she’s burning herself up — one day she’ll see, maybe, that she’s just been aiming the fire that burned her loved ones to herself, & all that she’ll be then is just ashes.
@devotedecay / random character development / not accepting .