THEY’RE GOING TO BE SICK. they can’t breathe / there’s a tightness in their chest / their hands tremor, violent and unsteady and god, how did you allow this to happen? ❪ you were his friend. his colleague, his partner. you aided him with his research / he aided you with yours. you both knew it was blasphemous, you both knew that it would result in expulsion and eventually fate caught up to one of you but was c̲r̲u̲e̲l̲ ̲e̲n̲o̲u̲g̲h̲ ̲t̲o̲ ̲l̲e̲a̲v̲e̲ ̲t̲h̲e̲ ̲o̲t̲h̲e̲r̲ ̲u̲n̲a̲f̲f̲e̲c̲t̲e̲d̲ but that’s no fucking excuse to the damage you’ve done, THE HARM THAT YOU FATHERED / NURTURED / BREATHED LIFE INTO. ❫ distantly, he can hear the doctor’s voice, vindictive, mocking in his mind:
D̲I̲D̲ ̲Y̲O̲U̲ ̲R̲E̲C̲E̲I̲V̲E̲ ̲T̲H̲E̲ ̲R̲E̲S̲U̲L̲T̲S̲ ̲Y̲O̲U̲ ̲W̲A̲N̲T̲E̲D̲,̲ ̲ ̲C̲Y̲N̲O̲?̲
❛ collei ──── collei, please, ❜ the scholar’s voice is fragile, like glass struggling to not fracture, break apart from the weight on it’s shoulders. ❪ YOU WANT TO KILL HIM, YOU WANT TO TEAR HIM APART / THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT / YOU CAUSED THIS, YOU’RE THE REASON FOR HER PAIN / Y̲O̲U̲ ̲N̲E̲V̲E̲R̲ ̲W̲A̲N̲T̲E̲D̲ ̲T̲O̲ ̲H̲U̲R̲T̲ ̲A̲N̲Y̲O̲N̲E̲ / WHY ──── ? ❫
❛ i never knew he would go this low. ❜ they don’t cry. they haven’t cried in years, he thought he had cried all he could when he was left to the mercy of a world below. but now there is a bleariness in their eyes and their mind is crumbling and he truly believes that’s he’s dying, that he should. all his fault. all my fault. ❛ i ──── i never knew he joined the fatui. i didn’t, i didn’t, ❜ they swallow, deep. tastes blood. ❛ I DIDN’T KNOW HE’D DO THIS. ❜
♡ * for @devolusion. still accepting.
