#devoidpuppets

Pride month. Because I forgot I could draw ;v;

Thoughts?

I think it’s cool because I just wanted an Axolotl plush at first and then just kinda fixated on “what colors look like god?” Then went with that^^

Could not decide if I wanted the mask or not but I’m leaning towards not if I’m strictly going for an Axolotl

BUT.

I’m gonna be grateful till the very end for every person I’ve ever met on that fucking app. I hate it, but those people, those people made everything so fucking worth it! Even if I went to YouTube! Left discord!

Bro! This whole thing made me want to still be connected!

I’ve been there since 2018!

Not I can say I’ve been there till 2025!

THATS A WHOLE LIFETIME!! I can’t even begin to imagine how much I grief I feel because now it’s just… kinda gone…

Shit….

When I made that last video I cried… so I hope to god things just get better. I hope everyone I met is okay, alive, doing ok, being able to enjoy life and their communities! I’m so happy for everyone that stayed in my life, that let me be a part of theirs! Even the few that ended up a little shit, I’m so happy I learned to reinstate my boundaries and actually do something MY way! That’s so rare for anyone!

Fuck you I’m not gonna let grief spoil my fun! I’m doing shit my way!

I’m gonna make my original community PROUD that I stayed around! I’m gonna make sure that everyone KNOWS that I started from somewhere else from scratch! And I’m gonna do it over and over and over again until I tell myself to stop! I’ve done this before and I’m not gonna quit just because something else ended! I’ll be fine, but I want them to know that I’m so proud of them for sticking with me for all these years. That I don’t want to stop because of burnout. Maybe I’ll take a break from running but I’m not gonna stop moving.

I’m gonna be me. The same cult leader that created a healthy society and friendships that lasted for so long!

LONG LIVE THE CULT OF BEN!

IM NEVER GONNA STOP BEING AN ARTIST OR ME!! :>

If I get the chance to make it- .<.;;;;

If not, evidence of that I tried will …

Exist… :b

Probably

Everyone’s dead in heaven and hell,

Tired of the agony and the pain of no death bell,

Earth remains in ashes,

Days repeat the same gnashes,

They’ll shine till your eyes fall dim from the backlashes.

Rust stays to corrode,

Dust stills from the loathed,

Haven’t you forebode,

The blood on your stone?

Stay alive child,

You have a friend,

You don’t need to be wild,

I am that of no end.

Did you believe in the idea of being alive?

Is that drive still somewhere in stride?

Do you still sleep with worry on your mind?

Or can you only see those in the hive mind?

Do you still cry over the sinner in your heart?

Or has that dart broken us apart?

You shouldn’t have seen it,

Not with those eyes.

I’m sorry for what that implies,

And all I’ve canonized.

I’ve tried to revise my uprise,

Unfortunate, there’s no prize.

I’m proud of how much you’ve grown,

But you should have never known,

Let alone see my bones,

“God doesn’t look here anymore”

“When was the last time you had a home cooked meal kid?”

“Remember when I said ‘yes’ when you asked if I loved you? I lied.”

“If I could fly, I think it would hurt.”

“I don’t get it, when I look into a mirror I see something but then I just looked confused… then I notice I’m studying myself, after a while I look nervous, frustrated, angry, and then I just cry… I don’t know who’s looking back at me…”

“I remember voices, not you. You just sounded angry.”

“If I was a memory, what would I like myself to be?”

“You don’t have to do anything, just don’t let it break you down”

“What walls do you have that you want me to break down for you?”

“Oh, I can’t fix you… Your body will hurt, the mind can be paranoid, and your heart may be traumatized enough to stay in pieces… But I promise you this; I will stay, only as long as you don’t break me.”

“I wonder how long a bird can fly until their wings break enough to make them fall.”

“Do you believe the sun and moon love each other? Or do they stay apart cause they only hurt each other in the short time they’re together?”

Art 👍

Stfu! It's cold!

November :)