#deviilsrage

                        THE NUMBING OF EMOTIONS DRAINING FROM HER BEING WAS EXHAUSTING.      this was never supposed to happen, but now that things were complicated, it   really   wasn’t something she needed to happen. two hands laid out on the bed in front of her; her cell phone in one with the contacts open and ready to call aleister and a positive pregnancy test in the other. only two weeks prior he told her it would be   best   if they ended their relationship. she understood why because thankfully it wasn’t a situation where he claimed   ‘  it’s not you, it’s me.  ’   no, he saw the hate she received, he saw the comments about the age gap between them, he grew tired of social media shaming isla for simply   being   with him. the soft scot understood, even though she felt a tremendous amount of heartache. he did it with her best interest at heart, and for that she was thankful. now though? things were   much more   complicated than initially anticipated.

                        timid fingers shook against the cool metal on the back of her cell phone. a beautifully crimson painted thumb hovered above his name while a deep inhaled produced an even harder exhale. her thumb finally pressed the call button and the phone was raised with   nerves galore   to her ear. the ringing seemed never ending, but once he picked up she knew she couldn’t escape this, nor would she ever disrespect him by doing so.      “   y’ aren’t busy are ye?   ”      an audible shake echoed in her voice.      “   i   really   need t’ talk te ye.   ”

                       A  WORLD  IN  MONOCHROME  WAS  WHAT  SHE  &  EVERY  OTHER  WITHOUT  THEIR  SOULMATE  LIVED  IN.      the  tales  from  those  who   had   met  their  soulmate  was  that  the  vibrant  world  was  quite  the  spectacle  once  you  could  see  it.  of  course  in  near  twenty–seven  years  of  life,  it  would  be  saraya’s   poor  luck   to  not  have  found  hers  yet.  she’d  never  had  luck  in  love,  despite  numerous  attempts  to  find  that  special  someone   (  or  at  least  someone  to  keep  her  bed  warm  )   until  her  soulmate  found  her  —  or  she  found  them.  soulmate...  it  seemed  like  such  an  odd  concept  for  the  universe  to  have  picked  someone   specifically   for  you  to  meet  &  spend  your  life  with.

                        the  thought  weighed  heavily  on  her  mind,  distracting  her  as  she  headed  out  of  the  coffee  shop  she’d  just  purchased  a  latte  from.  shouting  from  the  left  side  of  her  caused  saraya  to  look  up  with  a   loud  gasp   as  she’d  nearly  walked  into  on–coming  traffic.  caffeine  apparently  could’ve  truly  been  the  death  of  her,  all  jokes  she’d  previously  made  aside.  the  blood  pumping  organ  held  captive  within  her  chest  wall  beat  rapidly,  pounding  away  like  a  drum.  that  was   terrifying   but  she  was  alive  thanks to  —  

                        a  hand  grabbed  her  wrist  after  she  steadied  herself  on  the  sidewalk.  flipping  raven  toned  locks  to  the  side,  saraya  saw  a  large  tattooed  man  grabbing  her  with  a  look  of   genuine  concern.  though,  what  concerned  her  more  so,  was  the  fact  that  after  physical  &  eye  contact  with  the  man  it  appeared  the  hazy  television  sitcom  from  the  olden  days  of  television,  filled  with  black  &  white  were  erased  to  reveal  the  most  beautiful  &  crisp  view  she’d  ever  seen.      “  i  —  thank  you,  ”      she  barely  muttered  the  words  out  as  she  fixated  on  the  gorgeous  icy  blue  irises  right  before  her.      “  i’m  sorry...  i  can’t  stop  starin’  at  those  ocean  eyes.  ”

♡   —   @RAVAGEDPEACEMANHANDLING   ⁄   NOT ACCEPTING.

♞   —   physically pick up my muse & carry them

                        SHE WAS BEYOND TIRED FROM ALL OF THE TRAVELING AND MEDIA SHE WAS DOING.      finally, it was over with the release of her movie, but she still felt the effects hard. she’d fallen asleep on the sofa waiting for her beau to get home, lobster consistently at her side the entire time. mister sandman came in the late evening, but hands   gently   lifting her from where she slept shortly after midnight. sleep filled doe eyes fluttered open as he moved her from the sofa, carrying her to the bedroom. a   soft smile   from the groggy brit was shot his way before lying her head against his shoulder.

 ♡  —  ANY  TEASING  CONFIDENCE  WAS  ZAPPED  FROM  HER  WITH  HIS  LOW  DULCET  TONES  AND  SHE  WAS  LEFT  AS  PREY  IN  HER  OWN  TRAP.  toni  hadn't  expected  him  to  turn  it  back  on  her;  in  fact  she'd  half  expected  him  to  ignore  her  entirely.  but  now  that  she  had  his  full  attention  she  was  rethinking  the  situation.  still,  another  side  of  her  pushed  through  after  a  moment.  a  side  of  her  that  held  that  strap  PROUDLY  on  her  shoulder.  a  side  of  her  that  had  faced  down  worse  odds  than  aleister  black's  smoldering  gaze.  with  a  short  hard  swallow  of  the  lump  in  her  throat,  she  spoke  in  a  tone  similar  to  before  --  soft  and  teasing.  " i  would  say...i  like  it,  and  i  would  tell  you  that  bein'  jealous  of  every  creep  who  can't  take  a  hint  will  probably  get  needlessly  exhausting.  especially  since  they're  not  the  one  i'm  interested  in  --  BUT  that's  all  hypothetical,  of  course. "

♡ —  the  question  should  have  been  easy.  toni  wasn’t  denying  that  at  every  possible  opportunity  she  was  avoiding  aleister  –  but  why?  the  only  answer  she  had  for  him  she  wouldn’t  express  ( or  perhaps  COULDN’T  express )  and  instead  she  only  stared  back  up  at  him  in  that  dark  hall.  hyper-aware  of  how  his  large  figure  loomed  over  her  smaller  frame.  right  on  the  tip  of  her  tongue  was  the  simplest  yet  most  complex  answer:  he  frightened  her.

 but  aleister  didn’t  frighten  her  like  he  should,  like  he  did  others.  he  wasn’t  some  faceless  bogeyman.  the  monster  in  her  closet.  toni  wasn’t  afraid  of  what  he’d  do;  she  was  afraid  of  what  she’d  do  BECAUSE  of  him.  he  intrigued  her  and  while  she  didn’t  think  of  herself  as  easily  influence…he  was  different.  the  dark  part  of  him  struck  something  in  her  heart  of  gold.  a  darkness  in  herself  that  was  born  from  her  desire  to  WIN.  to  lay  across  the  prone  bodies  of  her  opponents  in  the  center  of  that  ring  and  know  in  her  heart  it  was  her  time.  not  once  had  he  apologized  for  the  person  he  was  or  the  destruction  he  left  and  part  of  her  couldn’t  help  admiring  that.  so  yes  –  he  terrified  her.

 staring  back  into  dark  eyes  her  heart  hammered  in  her  chest  and  when  she  finally  spoke  she  was  breathless,  as  though  she’d  been  running  a  marathon  to  keep  away  from  him.  " …because  i  don’t  trust  myself. “

send 💕 to just grab my muse & kiss them  :     @peaceiinwar //  accepting.

it   brings   her   from   the   darkest   part   of   her   thoughts.   the   pull   of   revenge   sinks   further   and   further   into   the   back   of   her   mind   as   she   comes   to   realize   what   he’s   doing.   a   kiss   could   be   a   kiss   and   nothing   more,   she   could   accept   that   and   want   to   pull   something   more   from   it.   this   is   to   calm   her,   to   comfort   her   in   the   wake   of   a   loss   that   wasn’t   her   own   making.   her   hands   grip   at   him   to   steady   herself,   fingers   sinking   into   the   fabric   of   his   shirt.   ❝   if   d’at’s   w’at   i   get   after   losin’   ...   ❞   she   breathes   when   she   pulls   away,   eyes   slightly   hazy   when   she   looks   back   up   at   him.   ❝   maybe   it   won’t   be   so   bad   ...   ❞