#dev thoughts

imagine if alhaitham goes through all the effort of his SQ and then he discovers that the hivemind is already in shambles bc there's a civil war waging between two camps:

"alhaitham is the worst" and

"alhaitham is misunderstood"

(kaveh is leader of them both btw)

kaveh has no idea he's part of the hivemind (and has been considering hivemind thoughts to be intrusive thoughts) so when they get more negative, he's just like "wow brain i know alhaitham's the worst but that's a little extreme... he should be nicer to me though, you're right, brain"

once the truth is revealed, kaveh would be VERY horrified to discover that many many strangers know a bunch about his personal problems

(he got tipsy and went on a passionate rant about how capitalism devalues what it cannot sell to the masses, the hivemind was ENRAPTURED and agreed to form a union immediately...

siraj put a stop to that, absolutely no need for unions in a hivemind!!!)

it turns out that the hivemind has incredible potential for unlocking human brainpower beyond individual capacity, exactly by design ...which also means its easily hijacked by strong emotional appeals for idealistic causes

exactly what kaveh is good at--

except kaveh isn't actually trying to radicalise anyone into becoming activists. he just thinks a lot about how the decline of arts in sumeru is a leading sign of academic society's downfall... also about how there exists disrespectful juniors who always keep score, whatever happened to common decency!

so this means siraj & kaveh having a brain fight broadcast over hivemind like:

siraj: alhaitham is a terrible scribe who will kneecap the akademiya with his close mindedness

kaveh: don't be preposterous, he's actually really good at his job. alhaitham can't stand incompetence, especially in himself

another hivemind member: shut up about alhaitham already

siraj & kaveh: no.

bear in mind that this is the time period where kaveh built mehrak bc he was lonely so when he accidentally joins the hivemind, there are no red flags to him bc hell yeah, he's not lonely anymore, he's got a bunch of random voices in his head now

call that problem solving 😤😤🧠‼️

tighnari is mildly concerned when kaveh stops ranting to him as much about his roommate woes as of late. kaveh says that he's gotten better at talking with the voices in his head about his emotional problems, actually more helpful than you'd think

tighnari: the what now

kaveh: idk remember that one time you said i should see a therapist

tighnari: yeah..?

kaveh: well i looked up how much that costs & oof... anyways some stuff happened and then now its like i have imaginary group therapy sessions

tighnari: now you need that therapist even more tbh

siraj went from congratulating himself for recruiting the light of kshahrewar into the hivemind to experiencing major regret in 0.4 seconds bc it turns out kaveh has unmedicated adhd and now the hivemind is:

20% rug facts

12% fancy angles

28% eco-friendly wood veneer

25% alhaitham thots

15% wine math

recruiting kaveh into the hivemind is the beginning of the end for siraj's plotting bc the hivemind's existence becomes known now that alhaitham suddenly goes from being "who? oh, is that the scribe?" to:

oh my god IM SICK OF HEARING ABOUT HIM

he sounds like a dick tbh

i know way too much about how this guy prefers his coffee, almost like we had lived together??

imagine if kaveh mostly ignored the responses he gets from the hivemind (there's plenty of thoughts going on in his head, no need to pay attention all of em) except for when he needs witty quips to respond to alhaitham with, which the hivemind delivers, pronto

quality of life upgrade right there for kaveh, huge!

imagine having all the computing power of a hivemind at your fingertips... and you use it to come up with clever remarks for your housemate who you absolutely do not think too much about

(the hivemind goes absolutely wild when they learn that alhaitham chuckles at one response)

siraj is coping & seething SO HARD btw this hivemind was supposed to benefit HIM the most!!!! how did this happen. this is all alhaitham's fault, clearly

kaveh: ok random negative thought, not everything is alhaitham's fault. i'm perfectly capable of creating my own problems!!

"his pain pains me"

(Max Stirner, The Ego and Its Own)

KAVEH GETTING MAD AT ALHAITHAM FOR FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM IS SO REAL

kaveh: i cant believe you changed the narrative and made me accept i was worthy of love without conditions

kaveh: how despicable of you to change my entire worldview

alhaitham: despicable i may be, i love you

alhaitham references his light novels for tips so now kaveh wakes up to post it notes on his forehead that say that he snores and stuff like that

kaveh: AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE SWEET alhaitham: oh i didnt think you'd want that. okay then 🙂 kaveh: oh no did i make a mistake--

kaveh sighs dramatically and often bc

his heart will never recover from this how is alhaitham so good at being romantic? this man once crossed out an entire page of a novel bc the love interest's confession wasn't up to par--

he's being spoiled & worse he's getting used to being spoiled like now alhaitham has to take responsibility for the fact that kaveh can now actually read one of these love poems and not immediately die on the spot or turn cynical like "oh yeah empty words not like he means it"

oh yeah i think kaveh was very cynical about love poems and displays of affection in general (whenever he was in relationships before he was always focused on "how do i make the other person happy" and would thus do grand romantic displays and thus knew they weren't hard to fake)

again the pretty privilege thing (the darker aspect of it) where he's so used to compliments but also that people try to butter him up and flatter him for their own purposes so you know words are cheap (and then alhaitham proves him wrong)

the thing is kaveh can't even retaliate the same way (with post it notes nitpicking alhaitham) bc haitham would just be like "heh at least now its quieter if you write your complaints instead of vocalising them" and NO

(the solution is to fall asleep on alhaitham more to subject him to more snoring)