i know most of us have established that infinite has -3 responsible brain cells and shadow has -5, but let's make something else clear: espio and wave are ALSO fucking idiots. let's look closer:
wave is the voice of reason for the rogues and a canonical genius, but the bar is on the floor when compared to a himbo and a 14 year old twink. girlie has no social skills, no impulse control (blowing up a 15 year old after being instructed not to) and also got decked by a robot (probably concussed) before proceeding to fly a fucking flying skateboard into a black hole. NEED I REMIND YOU THAT UNLIKE THE MAIN SONIC CAST, THE BABYLON ROGUES AREN'T SUPERPOWERED, THE LACK OF CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS ARE OUTSTANDING BECAUSE OF THEIR FUCKING EGOS!!!
same can be said for espio, who many forget is obnoxiously arrogant and more full of himself than shadow. the sass? the wit??? i don't just mean archie and x, generations literally has him being cocky too.
IN CONCLUSION:
if you made espio, wave, shadow, and infinite go grocery shopping, they would be banned and you would need to bail them out of prison.
- espio would constantly talk about his budget and how he can't pay for everyone's expensive stuff but he'll do his best, being all sympathetic and bashful KNOWING THAT 2 OF THE PEOPLE HERE ARE FUCKING LOADED LIKE BEZOS AND THE THIRD IS A FREELOADER, so we know that chameleon is sneaking the most expensive shit in that cart and making up stuff on "vector's list" that are very clearly not on his list but espio doesn't give a shit because he thinks he's dealing with idiots (which is true, but they're all on a level playing field)
- infinite is blackmailing espio into pushing him around in the cart really fast because he knows a gold digger manipulation tactic like shadow's CVV numbers, aka burned into his brain which takes up all the storage besides lyrics to musicals. he's also loading up the cart and shadow insists that he is contained in it with all the groceries because otherwise he's a) shoplifting b) hitting on everyone in the store that is old enough to be legal. wave distracts shadow so he can still do this though like the queen she is. infinite also has a bad grocery store game called "how many items can i remove/add without someone noticing" which explains the even more random purchases and missing items that shadow SWORE he put there.
- shadow... does not need to eat food. he also denies having memory issues and tells rouge "i know EXACTLY what we need, don't send me a list. worse case scenario i put together a reasonable amount of groceries that will ensure we have edible meals" so this motherfucker has no clue what he's supposed to buy, just that there are 2 freeloaders fucking up his "mental list" (there is no list or train of thought about groceries, he's thinking about snoop dogg's cookbook and trying not to cry about it). shadow knows he cannot trust wave for what makes a good grocery haul but she's his only hope so they "work together" to shop but... it's hopeless. shadow thinks canned cream cheese frosting and sour cream are the same thing. "salsa is tomato juice for bloody marys, right?" sure thing buddy
- wave? she knows she's the "reliable genius" here but to be honest... she doesn't know how kitchens work... storm does the cooking and meal prep and is a certified nutritionist. wave survives on vodka monster ultras, jalapeño chips in raw cookie dough, and sour candy sandwiches. unless you cut up some fruit and drop the bowl on her head while she's in her workshop, good luck getting that girl vitamins! basically everything she puts in the cart is junk, but there's an occasional "healthy object" like gummy vitamins (no one wants them) or a suspicious amount of limes (moscow mules)
TLDR: don't send these fuckers shopping. even the smart ones are useless when surrounded by other arrogant people because 4 people who think they're the most intelligent group member = disaster and no actual critical thinking skills
