#detectivedannie

It was early enough in the morning that Dannie was still awake in the empty house, scrolling through tumblr, when something crashed in the backyard.  She jumped and put a hand on her laptop to steady it, looking around wildly.  She waited a minute and then heard something like a groan and something (branches?) crunching.  Dannie put her laptop down and stood up.  Then sat down.  She looked at the phone, unsure if she should call someone.  The police?  What if it was someone in her backyard?  But what if it was just an animal?  She didn't want to talk to a complete stranger and ask for their help only to end up bothering them unnecessarily.  She decided to hedge her bets and peeked out the window.

Oh.  There was something she hadn't predicted. 

It was a Loki cosplayer.  A good one.

In a crater.

Well.  This made... no sense whatsoever. 

Hoping that this wasn't some serial killer's attempt at luring in fangirls, she tentatively went to the back door and looked out at the man who was just coming to.  She meant to ask something along the lines of are you okay? but what came out instead was, "Why are you dressed like Loki?"

He sputtered, turned his head away from her and spat out what could have been blood.  It was a full moon and the light only went so far.  He bared his teeth in effort as he pushed himself up to a sitting position so he could stare her in the eyes.  "Mortal, you dare mock me?"  His voice was like crushed velvet, hoarse from exhaustion and pain, and it carried an edge to it like concealed daggers, not like a promise but the foretelling of coming anguish. 

It made Dannie swallow nervously. "I'm not mocking you," she said, voice hardly carrying, but he heard her anyways.  She was growing less and less sure as time went on, because what she saw before her was ridiculous and couldn't be true but it was being done so convincingly well.  She wanted this to be true, too.  And then his eyes caught hers and she knew that this particular God of Lies was genuine.  No one could fake eyes like that.  They were brutal and defiant, practically glowing in the hushed partial darkness, and madness curled in the color like it curled the corners of his lips so his teeth glinted there in the low light; these were eyes that had seen marvels beyond her imagination and beckoning horrors worse than mad artists' renditions of hell, brought forth with their pained hands from minds tortured by too much of the truth, of what was out there, just waiting for someone unlucky enough to fall into their grasp.  And each thing he had seen, each fresh insanity had left a brushstroke in his eyes and oh, it showed.  It showed.

Somehow, the God of Mischief was sitting in a crater in her backyard.  A being beyond belief had crash landed into her life.  There was, of course, only one appropriate reaction.

"Oh my god, I'm Amy Pond."

Loki's lips twisted disdainfully.  "While I appreciate your acknowledgement of my superiority," and note to self, never use the phrase 'oh my god' around him ever again, "and it shows that you are more intelligent than the rest of your ilk, Miss Pond, we have more... important matters to discuss."

Dannie stared at him for a moment, and then what he said clicked.  "Oh!  Um, no, I'm not, uh, don't call me Amy Pond.  I'm Dannie.  And, what matters?"  She asked the last part with no little trepidation. 

He blinked and frowned.  "You said that your name-"

"I know, I meant, well, never mind what I meant, ignore that.  Call me Dannie."

He sneered.  He probably didn't appreciate being cut off.  Oh dear. "There's no need to lie to cover up your name for I cannot harm you through it presently.  Especially not so clumsily, mortal.  Now, you will assist me and tell me everything the Avengers," he spat out the name like so much trash, "have been up to."  He said it with such arrogance, like it was the natural order of things, that she would drop everything to help him against his enemies.  Never mind that his enemies weren't even here.  And something he said struck her as odd, but what, but what...  Oh.

"No," Dannie says in what she hopes is a calm, confident voice, but maybe probably isn't.  (You try being calm and confident in front of a fictional Norse god brought to life and see how well you fare.)  

He snarled and raised his hand, making a complicated gesture.  Nothing happened.  He jerked back, looking at his hand as if in betrayal before the memory steals across his face and darkens it.  She choked down the instinctive response, figuring it wouldn't be good to push him too far.  If he didn't like what she'd done already, he'd really hate his performance issues being questioned yet again by a "mere mortal."

"Your magic is gone, isn't it?"  Dannie asked, already knowing the answer to his question.  Presently, he'd said, meaning he'd been able to do it in the past.  Either his magic was gone or he was simply too exhausted to be able to summon the necessary magic, but he wasn't going to be able to curse her right then and there. He must be more tired than he realized to let that little tidbit slip.

"I won't tell you about the Avengers, but I will get you a cup of tea.  And some food.  And...  I think you need to learn a little more about this world.  It's not the one you left."

His gaze turned a little more inquisitive at her last statement, but she has already turned around to go back inside, not waiting for his answer.  She already felt exhausted.  She put the kettle on and wondered what she was going to do.

Outside, now that no one can see him, a god wonders the exact same thing.

Submitted by tophatsandfedoras

Oh bright angel of penned words, write again, I beg you, write again!!!

LOOK, L-L-LOOK, I ASKED FOR FANFICTION AND SHE WROTE ME BEING LOKI'S AMY POND. AND OHGOD THE DESCRIPTION OF HIS EYEEEES. AND THE TEA. AND THE CRATER. SO MUCH PERFECTION. ABOVE AND BEYOND EXPECTATIONS DOES NOT DESCRIBE THE LOVE I HAVE FOR DORA RIGHT NOW.

Aaaand... my music player says our song is...

That's right, guise. Did my makeup test today and ah don't look half bad for once.

Omg, I didn't know that! Thanks for the awesome tip!

7. What's something most people don't know about you?)

I have this huge passion for classic horror movies. Dracula 1931 with Bela Lugosi and The Thing are my favorites. I love Lon Chaney Jr. and Bela and Boris Karloff and have done a ton of research on classic horror stuff just for fun. It started with my obsession with werewolves when I was around 13, which went on for 2 years, and even though the obsession and the walking werewolf encyclopedia abilities have subsided a bit, I've still kept my love for classic horror. In fact, I was just watching Dracula the other day, as a way to help me relax and get some sleep.

9. What are things that make you uncomfortable?)

Sex/talk about sexual things(even writing the word is giving me the skeevies and seeing anything naughty by accident on here makes me freak out for a while. Oddly, silly jokes about things having to do with it are fine. For example, I think butts are hilarious.), wearing t-shirts, country ballads, generic classical music (I love film and ballet and some better known classical, but if it's just waffling away on the radio, I legit get nervy), my mom talking obsessively about her crush, any and all talk about hard drugs (especially the m-one) or pot, being talked to by famous or attractive people (I always get confused and wary, thinking "why are they noticing I exist? There must be some sort of catch... O_o"), people messing something up while they're talking (I always want to correct them and don't know if it's the socially correct thing to do. I usually just go for it and get chastised anyway), having to watch somebody eat, and loud people ( I always wanna make like a librarian and shush them, even if I love them to bits).

10. 5 Pet peeves.)

Lip-smacking, repetitive noises, books that aren't alphabetically or numerically organized and neatly placed on their shelves, being yelled at, my own mental issues, not having a job yet, real-life drama, being asked to do something when I've made it clear I'm having problems with doing it, if I can't figure something out, idiots, people who can't take a hint, people who I have to repeat myself at for more than a couple times, activists, fundamentalists, people who try to stay abreast with the times by getting into fandoms and pretending they've been in love with that fandom since day one and are suddenly obsessed and know everything about it(I knew a girl who did this with Sherlock Holmes and it drove me in-fucking-sane. I mean, you don't see me pretending to know everything about the Avengers comics), people who continue to do something even when you've explained you don't like it and they've acknowledged it, oh, and Anderson.

15. Do people underestimate you)

Yes. All the time, and in more than one respect. The one that hits me the most, usually, is that people usually think I'm weak or don't have much muscle because I'm 5'1" and look young and small. I've been told I look 14 and 110 pounds. I've also been told things like "I can handle this, don't worry" or "Use a ladder" or "You can't lift them." I see every one of those phrases as insults, whether I want to or not and whether they thought they were complimenting me or not. Why? Because I'm 140 pounds, I can give a 130-160 pound person, taller than me, a piggyback ride and can lift a 200+ pound person completely off the ground, I've helped move heavy woodworking equipment, I have long enough arms that I can reach up to at least 6 1/2 feet with my hand and arm alone, and I've been looking out for myself almost my whole life. So, when people underestimate me in that way, it's a blow and a challenge, not unlike throwing a gauntlet at my feet (it's even worse with guys, cause I feel like I have to disprove them immediately).

20. What are your biggest fears?)

... Um, gosh... Everything. I genuinely can't place just one fear. My hugest fears are, I guess, my ex-stepdad getting out of jail and returning to town, myself getting somehow hooked on drugs/smoking/drinking/any really debilitating addiction really, myself becoming a pathetic poor loser bum with no life, being alone in the fullest sense of the word, not being wanted, abandonment, never becoming any better than I am already, that there might exist a deity as bad as the one in the Old Testament, and the fear of my closest family and friends dying.