#destiel1

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You both like destiel, destiel rp, and destiel roleplay. Stranger: ((HighSchool AU, not established relationship)) Cas, why the hell have you been giving me the silent treatment for the past freakin week? –DW You: Did you not think it might have something to do with me walking in on you and Lisa going at it in our dorm? -CN Stranger: You're seriously mad about that? Get over it. -DW You: No I won't "get over it". You've gotta stop doing this! -CN Stranger: What the fuck are you talking about? -DW You: Never mind. You obviously don't remember. -CN Stranger: Tell me what I did! -DW You: You've done it four times! You come back to the dorm, drunk out of your mind, practically beg me to sleep with you.. not like that, say all this shit about how I'm the only one you'll ever want and then you act like nothing happened! -CN Stranger: Oh... I didn't know I did that... -DW You: It doesn't matter. -CN Stranger: It does matter. I'm sorry that I do that, Cas... It won't happen again. I promise. -DW You: Oh.. right. Okay. -CN Stranger: That's what you want, right? -DW You: Yeah, yeah. Of course. I mean, what else would I want? -CN Stranger: I don't know.. I thought maybe you might like it when I do that.. -DW You: I like it at the time, maybe.. it's not worth it when I wake up and you're gone. Then I walk in on you and Lisa.. it hurts. -CN Stranger: I.. I'm sorry, Cas. I'm a huge dick. I shouldn't use you like that. I'm sorry. -DW You: You didn't realise. It's not a big deal, anyway. -CN Stranger: But I did realise. I mean, sometimes I did remember doing it. -DW You: And you still slept with Lisa? -CN You: Wow, maybe you are a huge dick. -CN Stranger: ..I am. I'm a complete jerk and I'm sorry. -DW You: Whatever, Dean. I don't care anymore. I shouldn't have been stupid enough to think you would actually mean them things you said. -CN Stranger: That's the thing though, I did mean them. At least I meant the things I remember saying. -DW You: Just stop it. Right now. You're not aloud to do this! You can't sleep with Lisa and then a week later admit that you love me. It's not fair! -CN You: It's just absolute bullshit, Dean. You said to me last week that if you could have anyone it'd be me. You could have me! Could've. -CN Stranger: I'm sorry. You're right, it's not fair. I'm a jerk, a complete asshole and I don't deserve you. I'll leave you alone now. -DW You: [Few hours later]

Are you coming back to the dorm tonight? It's late.. -CN Stranger: No.... Leve em alone Casss -DW You: Please don't tell me you're drunk.. -CN Stranger: Nt drnk enoughh. -Dw You: I hate you, so much. -CN Stranger: I no, I luv u soo mch. -DW You: Don't. -CN You: Please, just don't. Because I won't be able to say no, I never can. -CN Stranger: I dnt want u to say yess. I want to go awy adn never hrt u again. -DW You: Please don't leave me again. Please. -CN Stranger: I nevr left u. -DW You: Every morning after you got drunk you did. -CN Stranger: I ws scared. U wer so prtty and I didnt desrve u. -DW You: Lisa just text me. She's wondering where you are. Apparently you were supposed to be going there tonight. -CN Stranger: I dnt lke her. -DW You: Didn't look that way. -CN Stranger: Shes mean. -DW You: Are you coming back to the dorm? -CN Stranger: I cnt gt up. -DW You: Where are you? -CN Stranger: Park. By hte biigg treee. -DW You: Why? -CN Stranger: We frst met heree. -DW You: I want to tell you to fuck off. I don't want to come and fetch you.. -CN Stranger: thne dnt. I dnt wnt u here. -DW You: Y-You don't? -CN Stranger: I dnt wnt to see u sad. -DW You: You probably shouldn't see me then. -CN Stranger: I kno. I misss u. -DW You: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm not coming to fetch you, because if I do I'll crawl back in your bed again and feel like shit tomorrow. I'll text you in the morning and you can tell me how you feel then. -CN Stranger: Okk. Ill slep here. -DW You: [Next Morning]

You awake yet? -CN Stranger: My head hurt. -DW You: I can imagine. -CN Stranger: I woke up to someones dog licking my mouth. -DW You: Delightful. -CN Stranger: Are you okay? -DW You: No. -CN Stranger: I can move out if you want. -DW You: Don't even think about it. -CN You: I'd rather be sad because you're there than sad because you're not. -CN Stranger: I know it's selfish but I can't keep seeing you sad, not when I know it's my fault. -DW You: Okay.. move out then. -CN Stranger: Did I hurt you last night? -DW You: Not really.. you've hurt me worse. -CN Stranger: I'm a jerk. -DW You: Yes, you are. -CN Stranger: I'm sorry. I never meant to do this to you. -DW You: I know you didn't. I've forgiven you enough. -CN Stranger: You shouldn't. You should never forgive me. I want to make it better but I don't know how. -DW You: Of course I'm gonna forgive you. Always. -CN Stranger: Don't. Please don't. -DW You: I have to. I love you. -CN Stranger: No, you don't have to. You should be with someone better. Someone who will treat you right. -DW You: I'd rather be with you. I'll put up with all the shit. I know I said it wasn't worth it, but it is. It really is. Just to hear you say that stuff to me... -CN Stranger: Cas, I don't even say that stuff to you when I'm sober. I'm a drunk asshole that has nothing going for him. I will never be good enough for you and I'm not going to let you screw up your life for me. -DW You: It doesn't matter. If you have to be drunk to say it then.. oh well. You still say it. You might not mean it, but I can pretend you do. -CN Stranger: I do fucking mean it but I can't say it unless I'm drunk. I just can't deal with how you make me feel. It's too good, it's too safe and I know it'll end eventually. I'm scared. -DW You: That's okay. I'll live with that. Just.. don't sleep with Lisa again, please? Or at least do it at her dorm so I don't have to know.. -CN Stranger: You're such an idiot! -DW You: I can't help that I love you! I can't help that you can't admit that you love me unless you're drunk and I can't help that you fuck other people! I'm trying to deal with it! -CN Stranger: I'm leaving. I'm going to move back to my uncles house and you won't ever see me again so you can get over me. I'm not going to let you fuck up your life. -DW You: No, Dean! Please, don't! Please, I am begging you. Please. Please. Please. -CN Stranger: Stop. = Stranger: -DW* You: Dean, please don't go. Please. -CN Stranger: I have to. I love you so much and I can't let you do something stupid. -DW You: I'll stop getting in your bed, I'll stop being sad. I'll stop getting mad when you sleep with other people. I'll stop it all, I promise. Just please. Stay. -CN Stranger: You're making a mistake. -DW You: I'll not even tell you I love you anymore. I'll pretend I don't, if you stay. -CN Stranger: I'll know. I'll know you'll be in pain. -DW You: You won't. I'll pretend. I'll be happy, please, Dean! -CN Stranger: I'm outside the dorm room. Open the door. I forgot my keys. -DW You: Cas scrambled out of the bed, wiping his eyes desperately and trying to make it look like he hadn't been crying. He took a deep breath, unlocking the door slowly and stepping back, allowing Dean to open the door himself. Cas sat on the end of the bed, staring up at the door. Stranger: Dean opened the door and walked in, stumbling around as he tried to stay up straight. He was still feeling a little bit drunk. He looked over at Cas and felt like he was going to die. The boy looked wrecked and it was all Dean's fault. He took his jacket off and feel the floor, sitting up against one of the walls as he stared at Cas. "Can I just die?" Dean slurred, feeling extremely tried. Stranger: tired* You: Cas shook his head, pulling his legs up onto bed and crossing them. "No, please don't." He whispered, his voice broken and pained as he stared at Dean. He was trying so hard to play happy, then maybe Dean would stay. That way he wouldn't be alone, but it was a lot harder than he thought. "Please don't go," He whimpered, his voice breaking half way through. Stranger: Dean closed his eyes and let his head fall back to rest against the wall. He felt tears streaming down his face but he tried to ignore them. "I won't." He said quietly. "Not if you don't want me to." He still wanted to leave so Cas could get over him but Cas was crying and Dean was still drunk and he would do anything for Cas right now. You: Cas could tell that Dean was still drunk, it was blatantly obvious with how he spoke and his body language, but Cas couldn't find it in him to care. "Thank you," He whispered, telling out a small sigh of relief. He wiped his eyes again when he felt tears brimming. He slowly crawled off the bed towards Dean, whimpering softly when Dean shook his head, no. "Can I just.. Just let me.." Stranger: Dean looked at Cas, watching the boy get closer and closer to him. Dean wanted nothing more than to wrap him in his arms around him and kiss him but he couldn't do that, not now. But he wasn't thinking now. "Yeah.." He breathed out, feeling his heart pounding in his chest as Castiel got so close to him that he could smell him. It made Dean feel high and he loved it even though he shouldn't. You: Cas practically threw himself at the blonde, wrapping his arms round his neck and burying his face there. "You're such a dick," He sobbed, pressing himself impossibly closer to Dean. "I wish I could hate you.. but I-I can't." He whimpered, his grip on the back of Dean's neck tightening. Cas knew he'd regret this later, but later didn't matter. All that was going through his head right now was Dean, Dean, Dean. Stranger: Dean whimpered, wrapping his arms around Cas and holding him close, bringing the smaller boy to sit on his lap. Dean was sobbing into Castiel's neck, shaking in Cas's grip. "I'm so sorry. Please, Cas, don't ever leave me." Dean sobbed. He was never like this, even when he was drunk but right now he was emotional and drunk and Castiel was here and begging him not to leave. He couldn't handle it. You: Cas shook his head a little, pressing gently opened-mouth kisses to the spot on Dean's neck where he was buried. "I won't. I promise. I'm here whenever you need me. I don't care if that's just when you're drunk, I'm here." He hummed. Stranger: Dean moaned and threw his head back against the wall when Castiel put his lips on his neck. "I don't deserve you." Dean whimpered, "I'm an asshole and I hurt you and I make you cry and I can't.." Dean was sobbing even harder now, feeling like he was going to die with Cas so close to him. He didn't understand what he was feeling but he wasn't use to it and he hated it. You: Cas let his eyes flutter shut, the two of them as close as can be without being one person. "Just, stop." He whispered, running his hands through Dean's hair gently. "I just want to enjoy this time, I don't get it very often." He mumbled with a small trace of a smile. Stranger: Dean opened his eyes and looked at Cas. He felt more guilty then he ever thought possible. "It's not fair. I should always give you what you want but I don't." Dean ran his hand through Cas's hair, then let it roam down to cup Cas's cheek. "You're so beautiful." He whispered. You: Cas pulled back a little so that he could see Dean properly, leaning into the light touch. "It's okay. This, right here," Cas gestured to the two of them. "This is worth it, I promise you." Cas smiled softly, a genuine smile for the first time in a long time. "I love you." Stranger: Dean forced a smile though it faded quickly. "I love you too." He breathed out. He wished he wasn't drunk, wished he would be able to say it later and he promised himself that he would at least try. He brought Cas's face closer to his and pressed a small kiss on his forehead. You: Cas just rested there, feeling himself drifting off into a deep sleep. He hadn't slept well for ages, he never could without Dean. The drunken nights were the best nights sleeps he'd ever get. Of course, Cas wished that Dean would say that he loved him while he was sober, but it didn't really matter to him, not anymore. Cas slowly woke a few hours later, feeling like he was about to break down when Dean wasn't there.

Where are you? -CN Stranger: Dean had watched Cas as he fell asleep, holding him close to himself, listening to the sound of him breathing. Eventually Dean carried the boy to his bed and tucked him in before going to take a quick shower. He felt disgusting after getting so wasted last night. Dean then went out for a walk, knowing he should stay with Cas but he was scared, of course.

I'm just taking a walk. -DW You: Alright. Be careful, please. -CN Stranger: I am. Don't worry. Are you okay? -DW You: Perfectly fine. -CN Stranger: Are you sure? Do you want me to come back? I'm sorry for not staying. -DW You: No, it's fine. I'm fine. -CN

Cas knew that if he told the truth to Dean, told him how much it killed him when he woke up this morning, then he'd try to leave again. So he lied. Stranger: I'll come back now if you want. -DW You: Dean, I'm fine.. You don't have to pity me. -CN Stranger: What? I'm not trying to pity you, Cas. -DW You: Alright. No, you don't have to come back. I'm fine. Go find Lisa or something. -CN

Cas knew he was being harsh, but this was just something he did. To stop himself getting too worked up and breaking down, he just got angry instead. Stranger: No, I won't go find Lisa. I'm coming back now. -DW