#desired ... plot

“you were being sneaky and while we were under the influence last night you put my number and created an ad on craigslist soliciting weirdly obscure intimate implications and it’s in the middle afternoon and a random number contacted me about this offer i just now learned about and they’re willing to pay a hefty sum and between the price and your effective persuasion i’m now negotiating some boundaries with this random stranger” scenario

“i’m on some daytime tv show about to meet a famous group/soloist/actor but i don’t know it and i’m reacting to some recent promotional footage of them and i’m pretty candid about how i feel and i would be mortified if my thoughts ever got out and what the hell that’s a fake wall? there are people here? are those stage lights? oh fuck me this is really happening my worst fear has come to life... yes cut to commercial break i need to get away you evil host i’m mortified! stop teasing me” scenario

“caught you seemingly hooking up with someone in the bathroom i’m just trying to use at this goddamn party. only to later see you run off with that same person while i’m waiting for lyft/uber and i only remember you because my roommate’s friend is over and crying their eyes out about how their significant other lied about where they were and they have a feeling that they’re being cheated on and they just bought them a really expensive anniversary gift and that’s you on their lock screen and what the fuck do i say right now to this poor person? i hate you for putting me in this position. actually lets go fuck your life up on some good ol’ bonding over a vengeful plot. maybe if you weren’t hogging the bathroom to be a cheater we would’ve never crossed paths” scenario

“we’re in a fake celebrity relationship and touring/starring in a film together and the people we work with know that we’re not really dating to better help sell the idea to any outsiders of this whole ordeal but i’m really friendly and you’re a little more reserved and i’m getting along with everyone and bringing you out of your shell a little more. all the while i’ve grown close to the back up dancer/singer / crew member due to fitting personalities and i didn’t notice you’re actually falling for me and i think you’re nice and all but this is just business...please don’t be mad at me or call this off we’ve got just a few months left in this whole thing. you want me to stop being so close with them? who are you? you’re not my actual s/o, i’ll do what i want! don’t go acting stupid and getting us in trouble because you’re deviating from the plan.” scenario