#desintegrer

Hi :) I’m doing well, thanks!

A solid progression for your romances is important! I just finished reading a poorly-paced romance novel, and it really didn’t feel realistic/authentic.. by the end, I was skimming all the gooey romantic scenes between them because I simply didn’t care about the relationship.

How to pace your romances:

I wrote an article about it a while back, which you can read here.

If you’ve ever played a video game like Harvest Moon, Dragon Age, Mass Effect or something where you can CHOOSE your character’s romantic interest, that’s the kind of pacing I like to go by.

You have to have the MC interact with your Love Interest over time, whether it’s chatting with them at the campsite or giving them gifts. When you first meet them, the conversation is perhaps a little guarded or polite or maybe even rude, because they don’t know you well enough to open up and really show themselves (Here’s another article about how in dialogue, your characters don’t always say what they mean).

On a storyline level, as your characters might make plot-related choices that the Love Interest approves or disapproves of, the relationship grows stronger or weaker accordingly. 

When you hit a certain relationship level with them, there’s a special moment. It could be a heart-to-heart conversation moment, or something more active like a chance to jump in and save the Love Interest from a bully or take the Love Interest’s side in an argument. It might even be a major argument as this special moment, and how they deal with the aftermath makes their relationship stronger or destroys it forever. In any case, after that point, the relationship has changed. Something has shifted between them.

Of course, a relationship can have several of these special moments before they realize their emotions. Or maybe one realizes their feelings after the 2nd special moment, and the other is still oblivious.

You can plot it just like your storyline, with ups and downs:

Of course, there are a billion ways to change it up. This sample line I created has more of a neutral start, but if your characters really get off on the wrong foot when they first meet, the line might plummet negative right at the beginning.

As far as when they officially “get together,” that varies on the relationship. Feeling attraction and admitting it can be two very different things! And a fun tension point to play with.

Now on to your second question... 

Is the couple compatible?

Compatibility changes so much. What one person wants in a relationship will be wildly different than someone else. Compatibility isn’t just black and white between different personality traits, and it’s not something you can add up mathematically to figure out.

I do like couples who are different enough from each other than they “complete” the other, in a way. A more outgoing person might encourage a shy and timid person to go on adventures, meet new people, experience new things. At the same time, that timid person can teach the outgoing person how to enjoy quiet moments and relax. How to sit and observe, how to enjoy little things instead of always shooting for the big picture.

Of course, in this case, both of them need to be somewhat willing to try new things. They also need to be respectful of boundaries and the fact that an introverted person simply won’t like spending all day on the go, and an extroverted person might go stir crazy if they have to spend a few straight days indoors. It varies a lot by the characters’ other traits!

That’s a personal taste thing, though. Some couples might prefer that their partner is really similar to them. It makes the relationship stress-free, argument-free, safe, comfortable. Others might see this as boring, but really, people just want different things out of a relationship. Just because YOU see a certain relationship as weird/boring/uncomfortable, doesn’t mean someone else agrees. (And I’m NOT talking about abusive relationships, here. That’s an entirely different conversation!)

What matters is that both people in the relationship genuinely like what they “get” out of it, whether that’s love/acceptance, comfort, companionship, adventure, conversation.. whatever it might be.

Hope all this is helpful to you! It’s given me some ideas of what to write future posts about... I may go more into depth about different types of romantic plot lines. :)

Happy writing!

First, you have to know your character. And I’m not talking about the trivial stuff that comes with character development--the favorite foods and music questions. I’m talking about the kinds of things that worry them. What makes them laugh? What do they hope for someday? What angers them? In short, treat your characters like real people. 

Yes, most writers have an opinion on this. But it’s hard finding resources that address your valid issue that don’t feel like being stuck in senior English Lit class on a warm summer day and looking out the window and seeing everyone else having fun and pointing at you. 

[please note, some of the works referenced here may contain violence and other triggers; everything is duly noted and behind a link.] 

The problem could lie in what you’re reading, how you’re reading or why you’re reading. I’m going to post some thoughts and some resources that hopefully will help you with your diagnosis. 

Why are you reading? When bogged down with stuff they have to read, people often react by then turning to fun and fluff to relax. Perfectly understandable. The what that’s missing for a lot of people is reading in between. Something challenging that doesn’t feel like trying to climb an 80-foot brick wall. A different genre. Lit fic for adults (though I loathe that distinction, but the publishing industry doesn’t so there it is) instead of YA or NA. If you’re 15 or older, really, there shouldn’t be a problem with reading a good modern literary gem like The Historian or The Book Thief or Isabel Allende or Orhan Pamuk. And 15 is just arbitrary. There are 13 year olds who could devour these books and get more out of it than a supposedly educated 35 year old. 

Now we get to how. Here are some tips and links for finding a way to read like a writer. 

Stephen King Himself said: “Constant reading will pull youinto a place… where you can write eagerly and without self-consciousness.” Meaning you will, after reading stimulating prose, start to internalize good writing and that makes it easier for you to produce YOUR good writing. Again, what stimulates your creative senses is not likely to be the same thing that stimulates your best friend and writing buddy’s, or mine. Keep reading, you will find it. 

This is a pretty good checklist to get you started. 

Here’s an excellent list of books and stories (more on those in a minute) to read with the all important why – as in, what you as a writer can get out of reading that work. 

One of the tips I see mentioned repeatedly is to just go ahead and rip off something you just read and write it your way, or write your own story in that style. I agree. Go ahead and copy. Read a novel or a chapter or a shortstory and write it your own way. Fanfic Hemingway, ffs!  

Publishing does nothave to be the goal for everything you write. You need to be able to write forthe sheer orgasmic joy of putting words on paper. Write for yourself every nowand then. You don’t need to silence just your inner editor; sometimes, you need to tell your inner lawyer to stfu, too. 

Something I’m noticing at the back of books of multiplegenres in recent years is a section with questions for book clubs. You mightfind some good, specific questions to help you think about the Big Ideas of the book.Also, try googling interviews from the authors about the book you just read.See what they were thinking. Did you get that out of their work? If not, why doyou think you saw it differently? The answer to that question might just be you, discovering your own voice.

As mentioned above: One format I think is underappreciated and not read enoughfor simple pleasure is the short story. A good short story can teach youeconomy of description, the evocation of mood and feelings, and all aboutbeginning, middle and end. I can give this advice to all writers, without equivocation: Read short stories. 

There are free online journals,really cheap (like 99 cents) literary journals on Kindle and other services,classic stories for free at the library … Even if you never intend to writeshort stories, READ SHORT STORIES!!

Here are some suggestions for short stories with explanations of how they can help you as a writer. Two are available online for free, the others should be at your local library, or they will know how to get them for you. Blatant opinion: If you don’t read Alice Munro, you are missing out on life. 

And this just hit my email yesterday: Three very short stories by Syrian author Zakaria Tamer. They are crammed with violence, religion, sex and just plain WOW. His use of the absurd to showcase hypocrisy, both individually and by the state, is simply brilliant. Note how he uses structure and dialogue and voice in mere paragraphs. I also highly recommend subbing to Electric Literature for access to great reading for writers. 

So this topic can never be discussed without further props to the master, Stephen King, and his book On Writing. He has lists of books he’s read and refers to both in the back and now online. 

One last note for the brave and determined who get this far down: I recently finished (in two days) John Rember’sMFA in a Box: The Why to Write a Novel. I have to say, I am still raw andhollowed out from reading it. It is a highly philosophical look at writing andbeing a writer, and baldly psychotherapeutic in many places, too. He’s a bit old school, even for my old ass, but noting that is one way to begin to understand a writer’s voice. 

The twochapters that resonated the most with me were Writing Violence and WritingGrief. Not at all what you are thinking, but it is definitely not a book forthe squeamish or anyone afraid to look inside their own dark hearts. Hediscusses quite a few books from other authors, and I’m not ashamed to say Iwent and bought three of them (so far!) to read and digest like he did. Knowing why you are writing can help you choose what you are reading to figure out why you are reading and how that can help you. 

If you find something that is of use to you on this issue, do share! 

9. current mood?

Pretty good, but I'm super tired.

11. Confession: 

I can't swallow pills!